Day 91 Living at Home

Day 91 Living at Home

 

Ok so I’ve come to see home as being where I am as home is where I be and therefore I’m always at home.

I’ve also considered Ottawa as my main home because I’ve spent the most time living in Ottawa.

For the past 7-8 yrs I’ve moved around Canada for a few months of the year working as a tree planter.

After planting I’ve always returned to Ottawa to live. I’ve either stayed at my parents place or rented my own place in the Ottawa area.

This year I decided to capitalize on a work opportunity working for an oil company in Alberta and therefore will not be returning to Ottawa.

Not returning to Ottawa after planting is a new thing for me and it’s felt kind of weird a little bit...like I’m expanding my horizons in terms of letting go of complacency to feeling like I just got to return to Ottawa because it’s where I’ve spent most of my time and I’ve defined it as my main home.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for defining Ottawa as my main home.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for feeling weird for not returning to Ottawa after I finished planting.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel more at home when I’m in Ottawa than when I am anywhere else.

I forgive myself for not realising that I was suppressing the living application of the self realisation of and as home is where I’m at by holding onto the belief and positive feeling/energetic charge that I feel more at home when I am in Ottawa because it’s been my past pattern that I’ve played out for a long time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising that I was suppressing my living outside of Ottawa by having created some sort of allegiance to Ottawa because I know the town very well and everything is familiar there in terms of me knowing where everything is.

I realise that I was suppressing myself as the living realisation that home is here as earth.

I realise there can’t be any separation between me as home and earth here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for separating myself from and as home.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating feelings about home.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I can be more at home or less at home.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating a polarity relationship as home.

I forgive myself for not realising the word play within the word home as oh me like me as the orgasm

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating a positive energetic charge attached to the word home.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating positive energetic feelings about the word home.

I realise myself as home as here as earth as comfort and assistance and support as rest as work as play as living.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to separate myself as home here as earth as comfort and assistance and support as rest and work as play as living, I stop, I breathe and I realise the ridiculousness of believing/accepting and allowing myself to perceive myself to be away from home/separated from and as home here always.