Day 86 Experience with Weed

Intensity....feeling/emotion...reaction

Thought feeling emotion

Mind slowed way down/Mind speed way up

Also makes/shows/exemplifies intensity reaction with direct link to mind thoughts feelings emotions.

Feels kind of weird without having inner dialogue...like I've gotten addicted to listening to inner voice as ego thoughts feelings emotions

It's like I'm just waiting for shit to come up in my head.  When I say shit I mean like thoughts/feelings/emotions

Like I've been addicted to thoughts>reactions
reactions as feeling/emotion
>creating thought about reaction/feeling/emotion

It's like I've accepted and allowed myself to define myself as the thoughts/feelings/emotions I have...and I'm looking within myself observing my mind and ready to write about it.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having defined myself accprding to thoughts/feelings/emotions as like reactions that result as consequence of past thoughts/feelings/emotions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having been addicted to thoughts/feelings/emotions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allwoing myself for having been addicted to having an inner dialogue as thoughts/feelings/emotions/backchat

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for waiting for thoughts/feelings/emotions to come up within myself as a means of having direction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being uncertain in my ability to move myself and direct myself as a point of stability if I do not have any reactions/backchat/thoughts/feelings/emotions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having been addicted to intense thoughts/feelings/emotions.

I forgive myself for not realising that intsense thoughts/feelings/emotions are the consequence/result of accepting and allowing fear.


I realise my thoughts/feelings/emotions reflect my acceptances and allowances as a result of accepted and allowed programming and conditioning through and as time.

I realise I've been dependent upon my thoughts/feelings/emotions.

I realise I don't know who I would be without any thoughts/feelings/emotions

I realise I no longer fear not having any thoughts/feelings/emotions.

I realise I work with my thoughts/feelings/emotions as a tool of support in exposing my acceptances and allowance as conditioned programming I have accepted and allowed within myself.

I realise my thoughts/feelings/emotions are tool of support in exposing manifested accepted and allowed separation within and as myself.

I realise the point of equality and oneness always all ways best.


When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to wait for a thought/feeling/emotion to appear within myself as a point of self direction...I stop and I breathe and I realise the ridiculousness of being dependant upon thoughts/feelings/emotions to facilitate and direct moment to moment management as existing here as equality and oneness.