Day 102 Sharing My Words

Day 102 Sharing Words

 

So I’ve been typing out a bunch of blogs that I had hand written earlier this summer and initially I had a reaction hesitance feeling like emotion within myself as like ah I don’t want to share what I’ve already written...like it’s not good enough...I should improve or change what I’ve written...and it was just like for a moment I had accepted and allowed backchat as like a way to keep myself from sharing that which I had already expressed...and I pushed the point by typing out my writings as they were on the day I wrote them and face myself as my words in the moment and it was cool and supportive and there was no good reason for me to fear my words...and again I showed myself the ridiculous mind fuckedness of accepting and allowing fear within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for doubting my words that I have written days and weeks earlier.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing sharing words that I have written in the past because I believe myself to be beyond the words I used in the past.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having given consideration to accepted and allowed backchat as emotional suppression as not wanting to share my written words as result/consequence of accepting and allowing fear within myself and perpetuating the fear within myself as fear of loss like that someone could read my words and think less of me than they previously did and therefore I would be losing value that had been created around myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being concerned with and as the judgement as value people give to me based on hearing and reading my words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having been concerned with people’s opinions of myself.

I forgive myself or accepting and allowing myself for having been hesitant to share what I have to share as a result of accepting and allowing myself to judge what I have as possibly being not good enough to share and for me being uncertain within myself if my sharing’s will be well regarded.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for doubting myself as what I have to share.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing undesirable responses to my sharing’s.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring positive feedback and responses to my sharing’s.

I realise that I share as a giving because I have it to give and that I give as I like to receive.

I realise the mind fuckedness as accepting and allowing fear and that the acceptance and allowance of fear manifests within and as many forms/derivatives as thoughts/feelings and emotions.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to doubt myself as what I have to share and what I am about to share...I stop and breathe and allow myself to share as I like to receive.

I commit myself to releasing accepted and allowed fears as they come up in the moment.