Day 103 Sex Systems

Day 105 Sex System

I have started looking at myself in designing and programming a sex system within myself.  It seems that I have so many sexual triggers...like so many.

I went into the grocery store today and on my way in I was attracted to this lady on her way out of the store. She was wearing a fitted dress and she was showing lots of skin.  I checked her out and even did a head turn and said to myself something along the lines of, “yup, I would sleep with her.”  

Next, I proceed inside the grocery store and I look to the right and I see legs...exposed female legs...than i check out the rest of the young woman’s body and I’m kind of like wow I’m sexually triggered by adult women’s skin...the more skin is exposed the greater attention I give.

Ok, next thing that happens is there is a few other women in the area and it’s like I scan all of them and it’s like this is grabbing my immediate attention/focus...then I see a kind of fat woman and I say to myself...ya i could sleep with her...like I am capable...I liked the look of her tits...and ya man...I mean Im in the grocery store less than a minute and I’ve scanned checked out several women and have qualified myself to have sex with all of them.

What i’m getting at is that I have a lot of sexual triggers/constructs which make up my sex system.   

I’m just gonna start writing out some self forgiveness on points I see as part of my accepted and allowed sex system construct as like accepted and allowed triggers within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to scan women as looking for sexual triggers.

I forgive myself or accepting and allowing myself to react to sexual triggers as like being possessed by women I see that I am triggered by sexually.

I forgive myself for not realising that I have created so many sexual triggers as a result of masturbation and porn.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having fragmented women into and as parts that I am attracted to and that based on being triggered by a part of them...I give them my attention as like I enter a trance like state of possession.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being possessed by sex and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for sexualizing women for and as my desires/pleasures/fantasies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that I should commit myself to having sex with a fat woman and try having gay sex as like a way of facing those fears and as like a way of empowering myself sexually. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to empower myself sexually.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself as sexually empowered.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being addicted to sex and sexualizing women.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for looking at women with sex system construct eyes like I see women as how I have programmed myself within and as my sex system constructs.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for participating in goggling women I have reacted to as like being triggered sexually by their picture presentation.

I forgive myself for not really considering the extent to which a sex system exists within and as myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for looking to expand my programmed sex system by having sex with fat women and dudes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to expand my sex system by facing fear of having sex with at least one fat woman and one dude.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having been limited in my movement and expression as a result of operating according to and as my accepted and allowed sex system.

I forgive myself for having resisted going into detailed specifics into and as sexual triggers.

I realise writing out and releasing separations within and as accepted and allowed sex system programming constructs will take time and discipline as I have programmed my sex system throughout years of reactions/triggers/sex/masturbation/fantasies/mindfucks/desires/thoughts/sexual profiling/porn

I realise I’m just beginning to look in the vault which is the sex system within and as myself.

I realise patience is required in working through my accepted and allowed sex system.

I realise I am triggered sexually by specific points I have placed within myself as giving high values to as physical attraction.

I realise I have created sexual preferences within myself and that I am triggered by sexual preferences as what I have given attention to within myself as sex, sexuality, porn, masturbation, fantasies, reactions, thoughts, feelings, emotions.

I realise this blog is but a brief introduction exposure of myself and sex system constructs within and as myself.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to profile/scan women for and as sexual objects i desire to have sex with,..i stop and breathe and difuse the accepted and allowed sexual triggers


I commit myself to exposing sex system constructs