important shit

Tuesday, 3 March 2015

Day 705 - Knee Injury and the Inner Jury

This is an introductory post into what will be a series of writing's about myself in relationship to a most recent knee injury I have suffered.

A few points I would like to make note of here that will be focus topic areas of investigation:



Looking at the word Injury...and Inner Jury....and the Inner Journey required as self-reflection upon the build up of acceptances and allowances.


The vocabulary of the knee. There is much vocabulary about the knee that is somewhat foreign to me from the perspective of not being well versed in the specific words/parts of the Knee and Knee area.


Looking more closely at the functioning of the knee as a whole and as the make up of all the individual parts.


The Knee and Structural Resonance Alignment. What does the knee signify in relationship to the Mind...specifically the consequence of an accumulation of energy as Mind Consciousness Systems.


Healing my Knee with Self-forgiveness and Self-responsibility.

Note: I have looked at the structural resonance documents on more than one occasion and my self-forgiveness will be supported directly by the support and assistance I have received within reading the documents. See the link here for specific document in regards to the knee.

I will begin here at the end and work with the beginning in taking care of all points of consideration that require attention. Beginning with a general opening of self-forgiveness as the initial support and assistance recognition to allow the aid in and as my self-corrective process.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the "inner jury" within and as an Injury.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the consequences of unnecessary physical body suffering as a result of accumulated memories within myself from the starting point of feelings and or emotions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for disregarding the impact of holding onto the memories of the past within my body with the particular charges of emotion and or feeling.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for nor realizing and understanding how in fact memories can in fact crystallize in the body as an accumulation of accepted and allowed energetic possession that kind of like leaches off of the physical body.

I  forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for taking the value of my knee for granted.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for taking the totality of my physical body for granted.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting to a point of regard as a result of unfortunate consequence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being responsible for injuring me knee.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for hurting myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being insincere with the practical living daily regard for my physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse my physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for disregarding all the parts of my knee and how all the parts of my knee relate to all the rest of the parts of my physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being inconsiderate and believing myself to have too many physical body parts to be able to in fact regard and consider all my parts.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having thought about regarding all my body parts from the perspective of getting to know all the names of the physical body parts...but to within this regard,  have a reaction of doubt and of the thought/thinking that it is not possible for me to get familiar with the vocabulary of all my body parts...or that it's not practical....even if I would like to know all the vocabulary of which I am made of.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that it is just too difficult for me to be aware of all my body parts.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for dismissing making the effort to get to know all my body parts because there is so many body parts I have taken for granted within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for taking the physical body for granted.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that my physical body is just to complicated to really know and understand absolutely.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making excuses as to why it is not likely that I can know and understand myself completely here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be impaired by vocabulary.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting the patients required to integrate and develop vocabulary that I am not familiar with.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not really know and understand myself/physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having the idea and attitude that it's just kind of impossible to really know and understand everything about the human physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying and distracting myself with excuses as to why I do not need to work as much as I am able to on a daily basis in getting to know my physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting daily regard, appreciation, gratitude and consideration for my physical body.l

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to specifically know and understand the totality of my physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing the self-intimacy required in actually getting to know my whole physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating conflict with my body as a result of how I am participating within my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to mistreat my body as a result of not taking self-responsibility for my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not taking self-responsibility for my body with the support and assistance of my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to mistreat my mind as a result of not taking self-responsibility for my body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to disregard myself with a mind and body that require regard and consideration equal and one as what is best for all Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding what regard and consideration for Everything as Oneness and Equality in fact means.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for disregarding the physicality of words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to self-correct my misuse of words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the physical self-direction as living actions within as the words as sound here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having conflict within belief about what is possible within and as the Living Words Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for polarizing potential with disbelief, as like making sense out of non sense.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the irrationality within arguing/disagreeing with myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the impact of having even just one point out of physical alignment as Oneness and Equality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how consequences are perpetuated as the fear of more consequences existing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating hardship for myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being negligently unaware and dare I say oblivious to the stress and strain I have done onto my physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for struggling with the living of specific regard.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for disregarding things within being lazy as like not wanting to live the patience required to investigate the detailed specifics of a point.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for glossing over specific points.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having a prefference for generalizing information as opposed to being specialized in detail as like really specific with information.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that it is better to be more specific with information than it is to be less specific with information.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare and contrast the point of generalizing information.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting the patience required to see the detailed specifics of all things here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for glossing over the detailed specifics with regards to the specialized vocabulary about the knee parts in and around the knee as that which contributes to the knee existing here as the knee.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being lazy with language.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that I do not require to be a specialized authority of words as the authority of knowing myself here because there exists so many different kind of doctors that specialize in different sections/parts/areas of expertise...and since most people are not master specialists of themselves as like know it alls....why should I be one?

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for dismissing self-responsibility for myself here as the physical authority of myself here. I forgive myself for justifying a lack of accountability for self-actualization of myself here. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making sense of not taking self-responsibility for the authority of knowing myself here because there exists so many different kinds of specialists here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that I am not required to be an authority here because there already exists so many different types of authority figures here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having created an idea of myself as being anti-authority....and I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding the absurd ridiculousness of such a notion as like creating a fight with myself internally that is perceived externally within other types of authority here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for dismissing the practical possibilities of self-actualization as self-authorization here. Meaning, that self-responsibility is a knowing how to physically direction one self here as all as equals.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand the complications that are created within and as the acceptance and allowance of inequality..,,and that accountability and consideration is much easier to process from the starting point of equality and oneness together here as what is best for all Life.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to write myself free everyday.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for disregarding the consequences of passing up even just one opportunity to write.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the motivation within and as self-forgiveness from and as the perspective of fostering and facilitating the development of new growth...as like creating something that wasnt here before....as like a new opportunity is born.


Tuesday, 24 February 2015

Day 704 - Perfection

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I noticed that I had created a polarity play within myself in regards to effectively living "perfection" without a bias and conflict.

Within reflecting upon my upbringing, I noticed I developed to a certain extent, the fear of making mistakes....or being wrong....and not wanting to be exposed as someone who doesn't know something or isn't very good at something. And on the flip side of this, existed the desire to be the best...perfection....being right....not making mistakes.

And if you look at the nature of this relationship interplay in regards to perfection...Fear is the root cause of such dissonance within myself, In seeing such fear within myself as like fear being on both sides of myself...it's kind of a paralyzing situation where there becomes a real stuckness. An example of this is like saying I'll go to the gym once I'm fit.....or, I'll start yoga once I'm flexible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for defining perfection within and as a positive energy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating fear within and as an extension of perfection.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as less than perfection.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create an experience of stuckness for myself in relationship to the point of perfection.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing failure and desiring success.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as less than success and perfection within and as being the best within and as points of participation here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating self-sabotage in relationship to my perception of perfection...and within this the fear of failure/mistakes and the desire for greatness/success.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for impairing my mobility...as like paralyzing my mobility in particular points of participation as a result of allowing myself to fear consequence and at the same time desiring to perform well within participations/performances.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I would create a stuckness for myself as like a non movement within points as a result of and as the acceptance and allowance of fear within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be limited in movement as a result of and as the experience of fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding my mobility and responsibility to actually in fact live perfection from and as a point of allowing myself to participate and perform tasks...and within this actually develop and hone my skills within particular areas of focus that are points of new development.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have impeded learning growth and development within myself as a result of accepting and allowing myself to be stuck within fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for choosing to be stuck within fear.

When and as I see myself stuck within and as my ability to effectively move within a point, I stop and breathe, I face the fear that I am accepting and allowing....I dare myself to move beyond the stuckness experience and actually participate....I see/realize and understand that I can in fact let go of the stuckness experience by making the decision to move myself within a moment and actually participate here within a particular area of focus where I have resistance towards...and that by doing so, I actually in fact remove the resistance and develop myself within the point...where in fact I open up the potential to live self-perfection....because by allowing myself to participate in movement here, I am able to fine tune my abilities by learning from my participations here.

I commit myself to participating here. I commit myself to movement here. I realize and understand life to exist within movement and growth. I commit myself to movement and growth.
I commit myself to develop and self-perfect myself within movement here.

Looking at the word Perfect.....

Perfect Ion....

Perfect I On....

Perfection sounds kind of like perception....and perfect reminds me of performance....and perception is in regards to seeing...and performance is in regards to the movement/participation within and as a point...and therefore by actually allowing myself to be the perfection within and as the moment of myself here...I am allowing myself to see as the self-realization of myself here...which is in fact my self-honesty.....which I in fact live and in fact am able to exercise as my expression within and as the self-trust to actually move/apply myself here within and as specific point of participation/expression here.

I realize the commitment in fact within and as the word perfection...as it's a total immersion within and as a point of participation ....and so it's like perfection is always here within and as everything...as like everything is perfectly in fact exactly what it is as each and everything thing is behaving/operating the way that it in fact is....because it is perfectly that.

Perfect can be in regards to good or bad. As like that is a perfect example of what to do....or that is a perfect example of what not do . Either way, you see both example of perfect here...as being perfect in regards to what exactly they were.

I understand that in point of self-development that one can in fact learn to expand points of perfection....and I see this as the process of self-perfection as the natural learning process....where one's best is able to become better...as an improvement where you become better than your best....

In looking up the dictionary definition of perfection...I see it is in relationship to the quality of being free from flaw...as like flawless....and what is interesting to regard about this is the interdependence upon flaws...to in become flawless...because flawless is to have less flaws than what you previously did...or to be without flaws...and to get to a point of being without flaws is the process of and as self-perfection...where one enables oneself to move freely within participation and therefore one in fact can remedy a flaw/mistake by enacting a self-correction which is really the epitome of living practically self-perfection...because this is where self-realization is lived physically...as it's taking the seeing of a point and moving and transforming the ability as like the effective usage and understanding of one's very own response abilities....and here is how it all comes together within and as self-responsibility.

Saturday, 21 February 2015

Day 703 - Talking Shit

Image result for profound shit


Talking Shit.

Is that my skill? Is that what I can do.....practically....effectively...physically talk shit. The relationship acceptances and allowances as to the daily functioning's of our shared reality are really really shitty aren't they. Yes/No? Do you prefer a more positive perspective and or message? It's best to be positive....right?

Being positive in a Negative reality is fucking bullshit. It's absolutely fucking crazy. Yet the crazy is part of what keeps a Negative reality a fucking bullshit story....it's the fake attitudes....You know, buying into acting and reacting particular ways and giving attention to that which doesn't deserve even a moments attention.

Look at all the shit that exists as entertainment....to keep you being positive while the planet/Life goes to shit.

Political system is Shit.
Legal system is Shit.
Economic system is Shit.
Medical system is Shit.
Education system is Shit.
Religious/Spiritual system is Shit.
World Relationships are Shit.
Media is Shit.
Oceans are filled with Shit.
Outer Space is filled with Shit.



There is so much about what is happening here as human activity on planet earth that is totally fucking stupid shit. And, it's like if you don't put a positive spin on all the stupid shit in some way or another...it's like the majority of the people around you in your environment will want to ignore you or fight you or kill you...or some other sort of stupid shit. Ever notice that?

Did you ever notice anyone ever saying something like, "You just gotta be positive.....or, Get rid of the Negative people in Your World....Only surround yourself with Positive people".

These types of statements are negative as fuck. Like negatively exponentially fucked. This attitude of of a war between positive attitudes and negative attitudes like some mother fucker's here are more righteous in their attitude than other's here type of ridiculous shit....and unless you are being positive in a buzz of gratitude about the shit that is here...it's like go fuck yourself you negative fucker....says the positive fuck wad to the negative fuck wad..or something like that. Sometimes this fuck you attitude is all non verbal.

The irony is that whether you are a negative or positive fucker here....You are still a fucker here.

So if you start to see shit for real....within yourself....and within others....and you start talking to people about it....what is interesting is that it's a real ugly situation....or maybe this is what beauty really is.....fugly. Because you may experience people trying to talk you out of seeing real shit for real....and or people don't want to know or here about the real shit that you see because it contradicts the lie that they have been investing into...and keeping a lie going on a daily basis is the long con...and it's like if you give up the long con, and dare to look beyond the long con....than you might see that your entire life has been a waste....a tragic comedy....that you having never been here would have probably been better for the earth. I mean that's some hard shit to regard. Because if you really look at the real shit here about ourselves and this earth....I mean, it is really fucking tragic. Saying it is a joke....a tragic comedy is a way to support and assist with the pain...catharsis...the psychological disposition you are...within realizing the trauma and fuckedness of yourself here in this world.


I was looking at all the airplanes in the air. You can check a live feed to see all the air planes in the air at any given moment via satellite imaging. Scientists have known for a long time that airplane travel is of great concern with regards to negatively impacting climate change.

Isn't it fucked how common it is for people to hop on a plane and fly across the world? I mean airplanes are buzzing around all the time everywhere. Air travel is a business built around self-interest...encouraging travel...to make money. This world is set up so backwards.  I find it quite peculiar that in wealthy areas of the world it is super common to take a flight somewhere far away from where you live and work normally, so that you can have a vacation and relax....what is strange to me about this...is that one needs/wants to take a vacation away from their home/community/environment. It seems to me that this is supporting the escape mentality mind set...where it's like your everyday life is so utterly fucked that you just want to remove yourself from it and get as far away as possible and just sort of zone out...until you are required to go back to auto pilot zombie mode and continue with the long con perpetuation.


To me, the way the vacation industry is set up, suggests that most people do not even live or work where they would like to live and work. I mean, wouldn't it be a sign of pride and regard of where you live to actually hangout and relax in the area in which you live?  Perhaps there would be more regard for the functioning of your immediate environment if you were required to live within it all the time...and the option to fuck off somewhere else didn't exist.


There's a lot of shit that needs to be questioned and answered. There's a tremendous amount of accountability required within each fucker living here. Let's face it, everyone living here is a fucker...and it's up to all us fucker's here to sort out the fucking mess.

Shit is fucking crazy.

shit is fucking ridiculous.


Can We Correct all this stupid shit? Is a Holy Shit purification process possible?


I vote to work on Correcting Shit.



Wednesday, 11 February 2015

Day 702 - The Movement of Doing

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The movement of doing....sounds kind of funny to me, like a religious or new age type of thing.

I write the "movement of doing" here because I am looking at the actually physical movement within and as my participation within and as being here engaged within tasks/responsibilities/activities/chores....

the point as "the movement of doing" comes up within me because I was noticing how there is many points existent within me where I have looked at and considered.....looked  at and considered from the perspective of and as actually moving/participating within.....you know doing these things. So in looking at points that I have looked at...I see how there hasn't necessairly been good reason for an actual lack of movement doing within and as these particular points. It's like sometimes in mind I kind od get tuned out of physical participation in reality....where my participation is passive in a sense because I am just moving/looking at things within my mind....and not then taking this insight/perspective/consideration into and as an actual physical realization playout. Where it's like a i look at the simulation of myself within a point....see that it would be cool and then....it's like on the to do bucket list of sorts....and there is no particular purpose created about doing it.

I am looking at here my relationship effectiveness within and as actually doing the things I would like to do.....moving within these points....opening them up for really...by beginning the physical participation dialogue....

I have noticed that I have become some what obsessed with taking in information and looking at things...without actually necessarily doing anything with the information I have worked with....like I see here I am not maximizing my potential support and assistance for myself in others in this world...by actually sharing my self-reflections....insights...and actually daring myself to participate more within points of self-development....instead of just thinking/looking about doing it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for weighing myself down from the perspective of not actually moving myself to my potential abilities to actually participate within points of interest and responsibility to in fact stand as a pillar of support in my environment/world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating reasons, justifications and excuses as ways in which I am able to talk/think myself out of moving within points I have looked at and would like to do.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for continually taking on new points of information to look at and investigate without actually finishing my investigations within a particular area of study.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting the patience to stay disciplined within learning and exploring new points/self-realizations/participations here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold myself back from actually moving within and as doing something within and as a specific area of study....because I do not see the whole finished outcome of how my participation/creation will unfold/turnout.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing and not really understanding the depth of self trust required to actually give and grant oneself permission to move into and as a solution/creation without actually knowing every detailed specific of how the point in question will manifest itself here/

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for avoiding participation within points that are not already well developed within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having some fear/angst about new beginnings and unknown outcomes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be controlled by fear and angst.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for self-sabotaging myself here by victimizing myself within fault and wrong doing....where I see and realize my mistakes...and allow myself to haunt myself by and through my misdoings.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having an apprehensiveness towards misdoings.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing mistakes/misdoings

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for existing in a polarized relationship about perfection....where I hold myself back within the notion of perfectionism where I suppress myself before I even begin participating as a point of inferiority.....and also from the point of self sabotage....where I justify doing less than my best work/effort because of the the mentality that it's unnecessary and unrealistic to actual do my best work. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating conflict towards the point of perfection.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for defining perfection within and as positive energetic light and also to sometime allow the point to exist within and as a negative energetic charge,

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating an artificial movement within myself in relationship to the living of the word Perfection.

I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding how I exist within my mind/body as a sort of articicial intelligence when and as I accept myself to have energetic conditions and charges attached to words as like my private associations that dictate my reaction to their particular company presentation and representation in the world I see.

I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding how the accepted and allowed charges and conditions as particular energies associated with words has been a direct result of the experiences felt within and as my body as emotions and feelings and therefore within this...I have victimized my vocabulary to the point of contamination where it's like an unnatural...artificial expression of myself that is existent here....because I can see and realize how I have program coded myself with words from the starting point of limitation....where I have justified the logic as the laws/rules of and as my feelings/emotions relationship to the experiences that have developed within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to actually look at my word and world relationships on a daily basis as a point of word and world responsibility and relationship development and sustainability.

I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding that effective world sustainability is within and as the effectiveness of living words!

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for dismissing responsibility away from my inner world of word relationships....and rather only look outward at word and world relationships....where within this approach, missing the truth and tyranny of myself as the most unfortunate unlawful charges held against myself which are most unnecessary forms of self-imprisonment and victimized abuse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent of legal abuse done unto myself as my word relationship charges I hold against myself as the specific memory impressions of particular experiences that shape the resonant hold on my being/body/mind ability to move within and as the doing expression and creation of myself that is possible to exist here beyond the restraints of systematic coding structured energetic restraints


To be continued

Tuesday, 10 February 2015

Day 701 - Flow within and as Fortitude of Purpose


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I have given myself temporarily, and different moment a specific fortitude of purpose...and within and as this point...I allowed myself to move as a flow...where I would not accept and allow the excuses and justifications that came up within my mind to distract me from and as the flow of my movement as the steadfast determination within and as the practical living fortitude of purpose.

A point that is interesting within examining this here....is that as I look closely at this point...I see that I removed the choice....the option to entertain deceit as like a choice to not go along with my planning as the specific specification of and as my self-designed....self-enacted purpose of fortitude.

Now, I see that throughout my life I have had many, many more moments where my steadfast and determination as my fortitude of purpose, was in fact lacking the strength and vigor required to actually stick to and stand firmly grounded within and as my commitment.  This giving up on a purposeful direction has been somewhat of a weakness of mine...where I have often questioned my origins of creating such a point in the first place...and usually such a point was then excused when and as the going got tough and a point/thought/emotion/feeling came up within my mind that challenged the flow of my movement...and it's like I didn't know what to do...I didn't realize how fast I was engulfed within and as the possession of mind as like a point of distraction from and as my initial gift giving enactment to myself as a Fortitude of Purpose...a direction...a commitment....and perhaps in these many times, instances....it was a necessary experience for me to experience in order to see the truth of my acceptances and allowances as how I have accepted and allowed myself to be conditioned and influenced by my very own programming. Also, I would say the purposeful giving of myself lacked the fortitude with purpose as the strength of character that would not quit even though the option of quitting and giving up would be a readily apparent option, time and time again until I proved to myself that quitting wasn't an option. Slacking would not be tolerated. Accepting less than my potential is not accepted and allowed.

I have been reflecting here today on points of self-denial and self-deceit as programmed conditioned suppressions that have compromised my potential moments of self-expression....self-creation as who I really am.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand how I have conditioned myself into a weakness of character where deceit and denial of self are tolerated as particular coping mechanisms...as an outflow of the thoughts/emotions/feelings that I experience within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not really grasping the fact of how the alignment with thoughts/words/deeds reflects the overall character Being here....as either self-honesty of self-dishonesty. Self-honesty is and as the physical alignment of what is in fact best for all Life. Self-dishonesty is the disregard of consideration of all Life and to only regard oneself as separate from the rest of Life here....this is the epitome of self-interest from the perspective of focusing on interests that exhibit and reveal the consequence and the lack of consideration for the effects of one's actions on the lives of others here. Self-dishonesty is to superimpose the validation of the consciousness energetic polarized friction systematic conflicted movement of oneself here as a mind consciousness organic robot.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for denying myself access to the programming and conditioning of myself as a mind consciousness organic robot.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to investigate extensively the suppression of myself here.

I forgive myself for thinking I can pick and choose self-honesty and self-dishonesty...as like being self-honest about some things and self-dishonest about other things....like believing that by deliberately focusing on some points and avoiding other points I can be projected as self-honest while keep the self-dishonesty in tact. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have fought for my own limitation as suppression of potential expression here within and as a result of fearing to be self-honest always all ways...unconditionally self-honest here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying the play out of self-dishonesty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to take self-responsibility for points of fuckedness I have created as self-dishonest...self-deception.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the consequence of perpetuating the the self-inflicting misfortune of self-denial as a result of and as accepted and allowed self-deceit as like the fear to actually take responsibility for the creation and expression of One's Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for harboring anger and frustration and sadness and disdain towards myself for my accepted and allowed suppressions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for becoming addicted to dwelling within and as my very own sorrow to a point of actually being in self-denial about the suppression I have allowed to remain within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying the existence of suppression within my character as a result of and as the desire to be liked.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have allowed myself to live in fear of being disliked to such an extent that I would compromise the character of myself to such an extent that I would deliberately choose to not express myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing the controversy of self-honesty within and as myself here...as like the great unknown of my true potential here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold myself hostage within myself as a result of  and as the fear of of ridicule, judgement and unflattering opinions/judgments about my character here. I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding the irony within and as such acceptances and allowances as that I have actually been perpetually justifying the creation of that which I want to avoid as fear of ridicule, judgement, and unflattering opinions/judgments because I have kept these beliefs existent within me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how deeply rooted this point of desire to be liked has existed within me...that I have deliberately played out polarized relationships as a consequence of such conditioning...where I would deliberately put on an act to be liked...or deliberately put on an act to avoid the process of being engaged within relationships with various beings. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being so conditionally restrained within and as my ability to express myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not know what it is actually like to live my life unconditionally as self-honesty as who I am here in and as the self-trust of and as the self-expression of myself here...without the fear to live/give the best of myself here...as the constant stability of myself here as I remain here grounded within as the life physicality...beyond the energetic veils of consciousness programming.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how avoiding points of uncomfortability that exist within myself is like giving myself a false positive impression of myself as being all good when and as the truth of my reality is that I am being governed and controlled by my very accepted and allowed discomforts as fears.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being complacent within and as fear programming where I avoid going into my discomforts in order to prevent the continuation of such problems existing within myself. I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding how enacting/creating solutions can be an uncomfortable process at times...because it is totally new...and that the particular adjustments and points of comfort require to be established....so obviously, in developing/creating something new for myself...there is going to be discomfort....because this is how I can effectively learn to groom my comfort-ability within myself as the self-actualized learning from my discomforts. I see and realize here how by not being afraid to get uncomfortable....face the discomforts within my acceptances and allowances...that I can actually get to know myself better....become more self-intimate within myself here...facing my relationship conditioning and at the same time expanding my relationship with myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for complicating my ability to live as the flow within and as the Fortitude of Purpose.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting,needing, desiring the flow within and as the fortitude of purpose.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to give myself permission to practically live as the flow within and as the fortitude of purpose.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how in fact the flow within and as the fortitude of purpose exists within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for searching outside of myself for the flow within and as the fortitude of purpose.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting stressed about the practicality of giving myself purpose within and as my Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for becoming frustrated within seeing, realizing the inconsistency I have exhibited within and as my life as purposeful living.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being disappointed with points of inconsistency within and as my desteni process journey to life...as my daily writing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fall within the point of daily writing, where I have allowed excuses and justifications to exist as like a form of self-dishonesty as a means of validating self-interest that exists separate from the interests that are best for all Life here.

When and as I see myself entertaining an excuse/justification within my mind as a means of distraction as entertainment to keep me in a state of self-dishonesty where I am looking to deliberately avoid self-honesty, I stop and breathe, I am self-honest with myself as to actually take responsibility in forgiving and self-correcting the accepted and allowed suppression of character. I realize and understand the best character to be that which is principled within and as the starting point of what is best for all life. I realize and understand the regard and consideration for all life within and as the starting point principle of what is best for all life. I realize and regard myself as all Life within and as the principle of what is best for all life.

I commit myself to practically living the principle what is best for all life.

I realize my effectiveness within and as the living of what is best for all life has been a learning process as I have been facing my self-dishonesty and walking a process of self-correction where I am learning to be self-honest as a point of stability within and as myself here.

When and as I see myself desiring to be liked or fearing to be disliked, I stop and breathe, I see realize and understand the suppression within and as myself, I commit myself to expressing myself from within and as a starting point of self-trust. I realize and understand I will encounter doubt from time to time as like a cross referencing point of and as my self-trust and self-realization of myself here...and that doubt is a practical tool of self-support to assist and support self-stability within and as the process journey to life here.


Sunday, 8 February 2015

Day 700 - Fortitude of Purpose




Purpose.

Fortitude.


Purpose plus fortitude is a formula strong in nature. I see purpose and fortitude together as one and equal as the infusion of Life all ways always in and as the movement of self here.

The question has come to my attention, "If you lack purpose, do you in fact lack quality of Life?"

"What is the fortitude of purpose?"

"Does having any purpose guarantee a high quality of life....or is there a certain fortitude required in order to insure creation of a high quality Life?"

"Is life meant to be high quality,,,and is it in fact a point of becoming aware of our fortitude of purpose...as like it's in us to give...as a result of what has been given to us?"



At different times in my life I have briefly reflected on what it is I want to do with my life. Interestingly enough, every time I had asked myself such a question and or reflected about such a question...my thinking was in an absolute sense...and I often had difficulty with this...the commitment aspect of making a decision that I felt I would be bound to once in fact I made it....and what was interesting is that it's like I've been looking for sometime throughout my life as something I can give to myself as a responsibility to walk indefinitely...a Purpose of Fortitude of You will as the Meaning I give to my Life Living daily application and expression of myself here.

Now, what has been peculiar within my process of self-reflection throughout the years is that I have allowed myself to get distracted and preoccupied with things. And in this doing, kind of allowed a procrastination to ensue about activating fully the Fortitude of Purpose I wish to give to myself.

Entertainment has been my primary source of distraction from and as the development of and as my self willed purpose of fortitude. Ironically enough, I have seeked  a plethora of avenues within entertainment as a means to finding what it is I would like to find...and that ultimately being my self-expression. What do I mean by my self-expression? Many many many things. Looking for substantial greatness in all things....Ironically this thirst for greatness in various modes of entertainment has been a result of holding myself back as great entertainer.

It's interesting, my writing here...because even as have just written the above paragraph...I faced immediate reaction, where, specifically I turned away and did not even want to look at the words I have written. Me a great entertainer? But why? Why is this I see as a point worthy of my attention...and to such an extent where I can claim a fortitude of purpose?

I see tremendous value in Education. This is a rather obvious point for many I am sure...in that most would agree with the tremendous value within and as Education.  I mean education is a point where really, I think everyone can agree upon the importance in and as it's value. I see Entertainment as a a medium of Education. Within this, I see that there is great responsibility in standing as an entertainer within this world....because not only is one providing entertainment as a point of fun to be had....but first and foremost the entertainer is an educator...a teacher.

I have been looking to lots of teacher's in this world....lots of entertainers to be what I think they can be...and this is not fair to any of them....for in this regard...I have placed expectations on others as separate from myself to be operating and performing of a high quality particular standard of greatness that I have not even consistently held myself accountable to. In a way...I have been afraid to actually commit myself to the fortitude of purpose....as like actually existing here as the strength of character that does not give up or bow down to anyone. This is not to say that I must be fighting or welcoming to conflict...but at the same time being open to dancing with conflict that I am presented with...you know...in a way like a ninja master....where the problems/issues are directed into and as solutions.

The irony of course within everything is myself.  So often I have reflected outwards about irony as a seemingly separate entanglement that only loosely relates back to me and is not really knotted deeply in attachment to my particular acceptances and allowances. This perception being a scapegoat defense mechanism where I ultimately excused the deep seated self-reflection required in really getting to the origins of myself here as who and what I am really all about.  It's fascinating to examine the conspiracies of my acceptances and allowances if you will. I sure each and everyone can relate to the conspiracies within and as our very acceptances and allowances...as this is an area that can be easily dismissed from the giving patience and time as the necessary ingredients required to actually look at the story of self here...and the questioning of Fortitude of Purpose.

Anytime I would come across something that would reveal a depth of character....or be rich in substance...I would yearn for more and more exposure to such things....whether it be a show or production, a book, a person, a sport,...it's like all the while...I was always missing the core of myself within and as it....where full appreciation was not quite grasped...because I don't think I have ever really fully appreciated myself to the fullest extent of and as the meaning of appreciation. Reflecting back on my various modes enthrallment from the perspective of entertainment interests...my satisfaction and thirst for more was never ending...and within this...the reflection to me is clear on the point of enjoyment...self-enjoyment....where it is an alone and together thing....where it's a shared thing between two or more.

I am reminded of the court jester....the joker if you will...as the comedic relief to the absurd ridiculousness of aristocracy and monarchy. Within and as such a position...the joker is like the master educator...world teacher in a sense...where his immunity is granted for him alone because of his chosen profession...and the reasoning that this is the joker...and no matter how serious the reflection may be...this is the court jester...the joker...who is permitted...authorized to ridicule the ridiculousness of the accepted and allowed crown rule.  I think of this in terms relatable to stand up comedy and movie and television entertainment. Where there is potential within such a position to me an intermediary role player bridging the gaps of dissonance with common sense critique. Exposing the absurd ridiculousness in absurdly ridiculous ways with cleverly creative points of comparison and association...making a mockery of a mockery while at the same time, giving the antidote...the formula....the recipe....the solution as to how the absurd ridiculousness can be solved...as being no longer relevant and therefore remedied,,,because after having the aha moment of a laugh and seeing for real...it is clear...crystal clear like water...the perfect solution as the how to do....I get it, I got it...I  do it...I am doing it attitude that is contagious in and as itself being a point that is addictively spread as the messages worth repeating.

What's interesting within as a my moments of reflection here is...that I as each I is the gate keeper of I...for it is for I...and I for an I that make everything to I...as to grant to I...is to for real be to I...as Realized...as aha...yes...I see it is all to and for I...as to and from I ...as the perfect relationship...I Give and Get Given here for it is the Gift of me/you/life here.
Meaning the play is in and as our permission authority to play...as like will allow ourselves to play...will we ask others to play....will we show others how to play...will we talk about our play...and to such a point where our work can become the play..in such a way where the play is a work in progress..as like a continued play day...play date that can stand the testaments of time as like...yes playing and working with what is here will stand the testaments of time...in and as the way to educate and entertain effectively....because education and entertainment together as a point of enjoyment shared between two or more is something rather harmoniously marvelous as the simplistic euphoria of the warmth of touch. This is life awareness here. This is who I am ....this is who we are. This is what I am about. This is how I choose to express and share the expression/creation of myself here.

,...it seems daunting and far to easy to actually be the way forward here...that trauma and suffering is not actually required...that simplicity is key in self exploration and creation. That really we can have a lot of fun in creating our fortitude of purpose and within this enacting a self-responsibility that will insure the future well being for generations to come as the knowing that this is substantial support that is fostering the facilitation of greatness in all ways always. It's important to note that obviously this enactment of purposeful living of and as self-responsibility will be a challenge in and of itself...because I realize I have been conditioned to operate in a way that is less than beneficial to all life here....so in breaking the restraints of my conditioned limitations may in fact very well be somewhat traumatically challenging....though I see here...the way in which I remove the layers of deception from myself as being related to me and my investigative digging...meaning that my willingness to pull off the layers of my deceit self-willing will be a challenge yes...but far less traumatic if I avoid doing so and therefore require to only realize through the consequence of my programmed planning conditioning playing out.

To be Continued

Friday, 6 February 2015

Day 698 - Discipline...More than A feeling...



Isn't it interesting that when and as we examine ourselves and the world we see that so many things are bass ackwards!

Looking at the point of Discipline and the early advent of discipline in the education system, you see that children were Hit, or beaten with a strap as a form of punishment for misbehavior....the disciplinary action was to act as a form of fear controlling measure.

looking at fear controlling measure....I see how I have been influenced and controlled through fear throughout my life to varying degrees.

Sometimes I was in such fear that I denied the actuality of my reactions being a total polar opposite movement as like taking the other side of the coin to project a superiority stance as a way of covering up the accepted and allowed insecurity within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for polarizing my relationship with and as the word Discipline.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for existing within a relationship wuth Discipline from the perspective of fighting fear....where I am using discipline as like a point of trying to convince myself of behaving in particular manners and at the same time rebelling against my said desire behavior.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating stagnation in my effective application of sorting myself out so to speak as the structural alignment of myself as the purification of and as my being here sound.

I forgive myself ofr accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the irony within and as practical living applications from and as the perspective of my word acceptances and allowances are being directly exposed/revealed to me to see the actuality of myself here...and where i REQUIRE SELF-CORRECTION....SELF PERFECTION...

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for complicating the truth of myself by avoiding to face and correct it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent of limitations I create for myself as consequence of accepting and allowing myself to be controlled by fears.....and that these fears are revealed as a spectrum of momentary reactions that come up within my mind as thoughts/feelings/emotions....both positive and negative.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself ofr having problems in being able to practically able to live daily consistency within myself as a result of giving credence to the thoughts/emotions/feelings that come up within my mind to the point of possession/belief ,,playout where abdication of self-direction.,..self correction happens