Day 779 - Names and the Fit of Descriptions as Our Words in Motion

I enjoy playing golf.   At times, golf can trigger a whole bunch of emotions within myself. It's interesting to even listen to myself say that.  "golf can trigger a whole bunch of emotions within myself."  I mean, it's me as golf and the specifics of the relationships dynamic particulars from moment to moment....as like how I specifically name/defined the particulars of any given moment and situation on the the golf course.  Like for instance and example here:  Approaching my golf ball and looking at the potential shot I can hit here and then thinking about my ability to do it....like a sort of judgment and value created belief in my capacity to do the shot...where it's like the whole nature of the thinking is sometimes glossed in a fear of fucking up the moment, missing the shot, not performing the result I see that is needed/best....and then from here, taking myself into a sort of self-talk pep talk as like a sort of self-religion of pep-talk, as like a self-believed comfort talk in focus on performing the motions that are needed.  But in questioning this automotive conditioning that comes up from time to time with regards to various moments, is the very fact and nature of this 'fear' hidden beneath this 'self-talk' at like the very core of myself as who I am in relationship to the moment.  And this 'Fear', essentially rooted into my core being belief structured thinking is justified logically within and as my conscious mind of thought, which comes out seemingly natural as who I am...and thus, seemingly very believable.  Believable, yes, because  it is the very self-reflection of my self-created belief systems.  And the kicker and the irony is that it is entirely fucked up....like in a way that I would not like for myself or for anyone...because the starting point as has been mentioned earlier is Fear.  Fear being a sort of paralyzing function in and as complete self-trust....the ability to move oneself in and as a state of confidence.

In taking regard here for myself within and as the layering conditioning of the psychology of myself within and as Fear as the resulting process which triggers the conscious self-talk / pep-talk as like how to move myself through a motion of action,....Is a very interesting point of Question and Investigation...Because I see this being a sort of self-created disharmony in the music that is me here as harmony.   What do I mean by this?   I mean, it's like I am creating a rift in my ability to naturally perform a specific motion and movement with effortless ease, power, precision, clarity and exact specificity.  See, I see myself and everyone having a natural learning ability....and our naturally learning ability is innate, a given that all life has been gifted with.  Now, this is where the story gets interesting, See, we all have this extraordinary....extra-ordinary ability...yet our knowing and understanding of ourselves as it gets complicated and confusing throughout time, due to the extensive nature of how we have allowed ourselves to play/work/develop our abilities here.  See, I see that our playing here as a grand generalization has been to a certain extent, very lackluster...where we sort of write ourselves off in one way or another,...Ironically and totally not realizing ourselves as the very narrator and authority who ultimately decides and designs the results of our actions/reactions/non-actions.

To be continued Here:

note:  I wanted to open this up to get the ball rolling and really get into the best swing of things as starting the momentum within and as a topic of profound awesomeness in so many ways that really is the epitome of and as our ability to create ourselves  as our lives in ways that are fun, enjoyable, and all ways Best here.

Cheeeeers :)

Day 752 - Consistency and Moderation

Moderation:  Is the process of eliminating or lessening extremes. It is used to to ensure normality throughout the medium on which it is being conducted.

Being within reasonable limits; not excessive or extreme

The state or an instance of being moderate; mildness; balance

The act of moderating

The quality of being moderate; restraint; temperance

Ensuring consistency and accuracy in the marking of student assessments.

A way of life emphasizing perfect amounts of Everything, not indulging too much in one thing, hence moderation.



Consistency: A degree of density, firmness, viscosity, etc...

Steadfast adherence to the same principles, form, course, etc...

Agreement, Harmony, or Compatibility. especially Correspondence or Uniformity of the parts of a complex thing.

The condition of Cohering or holding together and retaining form; solidity or firmness

Agreement or accordance with facts, form, or characteristics previously shown or stated.




To be Continued as I showcase the complimentary practical living support existent within and as Consistency and Moderation.

Stay tuned

Day 726 - Moment Management

I've noticed the Moment to often be a very Pivotal point.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be influenced and controlled by fear within the moment as a particular feeling/emotion that contradicts my Planning

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being consistently inconsistent with my commitments as a result of accepting and allowing momentary Fear as various dimensions of reaction to influence and regulate my movement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to embrace all of my fears and actually move myself regardless of and as the excuse that is presented as coming up in the moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making a big deal about moving through an accepted and allowed suppression I see within a moment. I realize that this is in fact no big deal here....and that the only way this would become a big deal is if I avoided taking self-responsibility for the point I see I have been suppressing.  Within this new realization...the moment is a very cool pivot point in and as the process of self-perfection, because the opportunity exists to become a better version of oneself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how Life works as a series of Moments put together....but that all there every is is the present moment here....which leads into new present moments here....and All the While from Present Moment to Present Moment, I am the Leader as My Life is My Self-Responsibility and The Creation of My Life is a Result of and as the Effectiveness of My Leadership Here. I realize and understand Leadership starts within and as Self-Responsibility here.  I realize I have Great Responsibilities and that Self-Responsibility is the Key within and as Self-Empowerment/Self-Creation Here as Heaven on Earth

I commit myself to Self-Creation Here as Heaven on Earth.

I commit myself to Self-Responsibility

I commit myself to Living the Self-Empowerment within and as Self-Responsibility

When and as I see myself faced with a moment where I experience a feeling of like "not wanting to participate within my self-responsibility", I stop and breathe, I see/realize/understand the self-sabotage within thinking oneself out of doing what is required to be done as the practical living of self-responsibility. I Move myself in Doing the point that I face resistance towards Doing. I realize the movement of my doing is the Key to Practical Living Creation here as the How To put the Plans in Motion. I see realize and understand the Planning and Planting that Happens within and as the Movement of Doing. I see, realize and understand the Commitment within and as The Decision to Do it....as the Moving Beyond thinking about doing It...and Just Doing It.  I realize the More I do it...the more I get Done.  I realize my potential existent here is within and as self-creation and that my self-creation comes from the act of doing things...as the building and development of Greatness within and as Always All Ways...as Always Great.

I commit myself to and as Greatness Here.

Day 701 - Flow within and as Fortitude of Purpose

I have given myself temporarily, and different moment a specific fortitude of purpose...and within and as this point...I allowed myself to move as a flow...where I would not accept and allow the excuses and justifications that came up within my mind to distract me from and as the flow of my movement as the steadfast determination within and as the practical living fortitude of purpose.

A point that is interesting within examining this here....is that as I look closely at this point...I see that I removed the choice....the option to entertain deceit as like a choice to not go along with my planning as the specific specification of and as my self-designed....self-enacted purpose of fortitude.

Now, I see that throughout my life I have had many, many more moments where my steadfast and determination as my fortitude of purpose, was in fact lacking the strength and vigor required to actually stick to and stand firmly grounded within and as my commitment.  This giving up on a purposeful direction has been somewhat of a weakness of mine...where I have often questioned my origins of creating such a point in the first place...and usually such a point was then excused when and as the going got tough and a point/thought/emotion/feeling came up within my mind that challenged the flow of my movement...and it's like I didn't know what to do...I didn't realize how fast I was engulfed within and as the possession of mind as like a point of distraction from and as my initial gift giving enactment to myself as a Fortitude of Purpose...a direction...a commitment....and perhaps in these many times, instances....it was a necessary experience for me to experience in order to see the truth of my acceptances and allowances as how I have accepted and allowed myself to be conditioned and influenced by my very own programming. Also, I would say the purposeful giving of myself lacked the fortitude with purpose as the strength of character that would not quit even though the option of quitting and giving up would be a readily apparent option, time and time again until I proved to myself that quitting wasn't an option. Slacking would not be tolerated. Accepting less than my potential is not accepted and allowed.

I have been reflecting here today on points of self-denial and self-deceit as programmed conditioned suppressions that have compromised my potential moments of self-expression....self-creation as who I really am.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand how I have conditioned myself into a weakness of character where deceit and denial of self are tolerated as particular coping mechanisms...as an outflow of the thoughts/emotions/feelings that I experience within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not really grasping the fact of how the alignment with thoughts/words/deeds reflects the overall character Being here....as either self-honesty of self-dishonesty. Self-honesty is and as the physical alignment of what is in fact best for all Life. Self-dishonesty is the disregard of consideration of all Life and to only regard oneself as separate from the rest of Life here....this is the epitome of self-interest from the perspective of focusing on interests that exhibit and reveal the consequence and the lack of consideration for the effects of one's actions on the lives of others here. Self-dishonesty is to superimpose the validation of the consciousness energetic polarized friction systematic conflicted movement of oneself here as a mind consciousness organic robot.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for denying myself access to the programming and conditioning of myself as a mind consciousness organic robot.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to investigate extensively the suppression of myself here.

I forgive myself for thinking I can pick and choose self-honesty and self-dishonesty...as like being self-honest about some things and self-dishonest about other things....like believing that by deliberately focusing on some points and avoiding other points I can be projected as self-honest while keep the self-dishonesty in tact. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have fought for my own limitation as suppression of potential expression here within and as a result of fearing to be self-honest always all ways...unconditionally self-honest here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying the play out of self-dishonesty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to take self-responsibility for points of fuckedness I have created as self-dishonest...self-deception.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the consequence of perpetuating the the self-inflicting misfortune of self-denial as a result of and as accepted and allowed self-deceit as like the fear to actually take responsibility for the creation and expression of One's Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for harboring anger and frustration and sadness and disdain towards myself for my accepted and allowed suppressions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for becoming addicted to dwelling within and as my very own sorrow to a point of actually being in self-denial about the suppression I have allowed to remain within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying the existence of suppression within my character as a result of and as the desire to be liked.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have allowed myself to live in fear of being disliked to such an extent that I would compromise the character of myself to such an extent that I would deliberately choose to not express myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing the controversy of self-honesty within and as myself here...as like the great unknown of my true potential here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold myself hostage within myself as a result of  and as the fear of of ridicule, judgement and unflattering opinions/judgments about my character here. I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding the irony within and as such acceptances and allowances as that I have actually been perpetually justifying the creation of that which I want to avoid as fear of ridicule, judgement, and unflattering opinions/judgments because I have kept these beliefs existent within me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how deeply rooted this point of desire to be liked has existed within me...that I have deliberately played out polarized relationships as a consequence of such conditioning...where I would deliberately put on an act to be liked...or deliberately put on an act to avoid the process of being engaged within relationships with various beings. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being so conditionally restrained within and as my ability to express myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not know what it is actually like to live my life unconditionally as self-honesty as who I am here in and as the self-trust of and as the self-expression of myself here...without the fear to live/give the best of myself here...as the constant stability of myself here as I remain here grounded within as the life physicality...beyond the energetic veils of consciousness programming.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how avoiding points of uncomfortability that exist within myself is like giving myself a false positive impression of myself as being all good when and as the truth of my reality is that I am being governed and controlled by my very accepted and allowed discomforts as fears.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being complacent within and as fear programming where I avoid going into my discomforts in order to prevent the continuation of such problems existing within myself. I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding how enacting/creating solutions can be an uncomfortable process at times...because it is totally new...and that the particular adjustments and points of comfort require to be established....so obviously, in developing/creating something new for myself...there is going to be discomfort....because this is how I can effectively learn to groom my comfort-ability within myself as the self-actualized learning from my discomforts. I see and realize here how by not being afraid to get uncomfortable....face the discomforts within my acceptances and allowances...that I can actually get to know myself better....become more self-intimate within myself here...facing my relationship conditioning and at the same time expanding my relationship with myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for complicating my ability to live as the flow within and as the Fortitude of Purpose.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting,needing, desiring the flow within and as the fortitude of purpose.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to give myself permission to practically live as the flow within and as the fortitude of purpose.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how in fact the flow within and as the fortitude of purpose exists within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for searching outside of myself for the flow within and as the fortitude of purpose.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting stressed about the practicality of giving myself purpose within and as my Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for becoming frustrated within seeing, realizing the inconsistency I have exhibited within and as my life as purposeful living.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being disappointed with points of inconsistency within and as my desteni process journey to life...as my daily writing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fall within the point of daily writing, where I have allowed excuses and justifications to exist as like a form of self-dishonesty as a means of validating self-interest that exists separate from the interests that are best for all Life here.

When and as I see myself entertaining an excuse/justification within my mind as a means of distraction as entertainment to keep me in a state of self-dishonesty where I am looking to deliberately avoid self-honesty, I stop and breathe, I am self-honest with myself as to actually take responsibility in forgiving and self-correcting the accepted and allowed suppression of character. I realize and understand the best character to be that which is principled within and as the starting point of what is best for all life. I realize and understand the regard and consideration for all life within and as the starting point principle of what is best for all life. I realize and regard myself as all Life within and as the principle of what is best for all life.

I commit myself to practically living the principle what is best for all life.

I realize my effectiveness within and as the living of what is best for all life has been a learning process as I have been facing my self-dishonesty and walking a process of self-correction where I am learning to be self-honest as a point of stability within and as myself here.

When and as I see myself desiring to be liked or fearing to be disliked, I stop and breathe, I see realize and understand the suppression within and as myself, I commit myself to expressing myself from within and as a starting point of self-trust. I realize and understand I will encounter doubt from time to time as like a cross referencing point of and as my self-trust and self-realization of myself here...and that doubt is a practical tool of self-support to assist and support self-stability within and as the process journey to life here.

Day 700 - Fortitude of Purpose

Purpose.

Fortitude.


Purpose plus fortitude is a formula strong in nature. I see purpose and fortitude together as one and equal as the infusion of Life all ways always in and as the movement of self here.

The question has come to my attention, "If you lack purpose, do you in fact lack quality of Life?"

"What is the fortitude of purpose?"

"Does having any purpose guarantee a high quality of life....or is there a certain fortitude required in order to insure creation of a high quality Life?"

"Is life meant to be high quality,,,and is it in fact a point of becoming aware of our fortitude of purpose...as like it's in us to give...as a result of what has been given to us?"



At different times in my life I have briefly reflected on what it is I want to do with my life. Interestingly enough, every time I had asked myself such a question and or reflected about such a question...my thinking was in an absolute sense...and I often had difficulty with this...the commitment aspect of making a decision that I felt I would be bound to once in fact I made it....and what was interesting is that it's like I've been looking for sometime throughout my life as something I can give to myself as a responsibility to walk indefinitely...a Purpose of Fortitude of You will as the Meaning I give to my Life Living daily application and expression of myself here.

Now, what has been peculiar within my process of self-reflection throughout the years is that I have allowed myself to get distracted and preoccupied with things. And in this doing, kind of allowed a procrastination to ensue about activating fully the Fortitude of Purpose I wish to give to myself.

Entertainment has been my primary source of distraction from and as the development of and as my self willed purpose of fortitude. Ironically enough, I have seeked  a plethora of avenues within entertainment as a means to finding what it is I would like to find...and that ultimately being my self-expression. What do I mean by my self-expression? Many many many things. Looking for substantial greatness in all things....Ironically this thirst for greatness in various modes of entertainment has been a result of holding myself back as great entertainer.

It's interesting, my writing here...because even as have just written the above paragraph...I faced immediate reaction, where, specifically I turned away and did not even want to look at the words I have written. Me a great entertainer? But why? Why is this I see as a point worthy of my attention...and to such an extent where I can claim a fortitude of purpose?

I see tremendous value in Education. This is a rather obvious point for many I am sure...in that most would agree with the tremendous value within and as Education.  I mean education is a point where really, I think everyone can agree upon the importance in and as it's value. I see Entertainment as a a medium of Education. Within this, I see that there is great responsibility in standing as an entertainer within this world....because not only is one providing entertainment as a point of fun to be had....but first and foremost the entertainer is an educator...a teacher.

I have been looking to lots of teacher's in this world....lots of entertainers to be what I think they can be...and this is not fair to any of them....for in this regard...I have placed expectations on others as separate from myself to be operating and performing of a high quality particular standard of greatness that I have not even consistently held myself accountable to. In a way...I have been afraid to actually commit myself to the fortitude of purpose....as like actually existing here as the strength of character that does not give up or bow down to anyone. This is not to say that I must be fighting or welcoming to conflict...but at the same time being open to dancing with conflict that I am presented with...you know...in a way like a ninja master....where the problems/issues are directed into and as solutions.

The irony of course within everything is myself.  So often I have reflected outwards about irony as a seemingly separate entanglement that only loosely relates back to me and is not really knotted deeply in attachment to my particular acceptances and allowances. This perception being a scapegoat defense mechanism where I ultimately excused the deep seated self-reflection required in really getting to the origins of myself here as who and what I am really all about.  It's fascinating to examine the conspiracies of my acceptances and allowances if you will. I sure each and everyone can relate to the conspiracies within and as our very acceptances and allowances...as this is an area that can be easily dismissed from the giving patience and time as the necessary ingredients required to actually look at the story of self here...and the questioning of Fortitude of Purpose.

Anytime I would come across something that would reveal a depth of character....or be rich in substance...I would yearn for more and more exposure to such things....whether it be a show or production, a book, a person, a sport,...it's like all the while...I was always missing the core of myself within and as it....where full appreciation was not quite grasped...because I don't think I have ever really fully appreciated myself to the fullest extent of and as the meaning of appreciation. Reflecting back on my various modes enthrallment from the perspective of entertainment interests...my satisfaction and thirst for more was never ending...and within this...the reflection to me is clear on the point of enjoyment...self-enjoyment....where it is an alone and together thing....where it's a shared thing between two or more.

I am reminded of the court jester....the joker if you will...as the comedic relief to the absurd ridiculousness of aristocracy and monarchy. Within and as such a position...the joker is like the master educator...world teacher in a sense...where his immunity is granted for him alone because of his chosen profession...and the reasoning that this is the joker...and no matter how serious the reflection may be...this is the court jester...the joker...who is permitted...authorized to ridicule the ridiculousness of the accepted and allowed crown rule.  I think of this in terms relatable to stand up comedy and movie and television entertainment. Where there is potential within such a position to me an intermediary role player bridging the gaps of dissonance with common sense critique. Exposing the absurd ridiculousness in absurdly ridiculous ways with cleverly creative points of comparison and association...making a mockery of a mockery while at the same time, giving the antidote...the formula....the recipe....the solution as to how the absurd ridiculousness can be solved...as being no longer relevant and therefore remedied,,,because after having the aha moment of a laugh and seeing for real...it is clear...crystal clear like water...the perfect solution as the how to do....I get it, I got it...I  do it...I am doing it attitude that is contagious in and as itself being a point that is addictively spread as the messages worth repeating.

What's interesting within as a my moments of reflection here is...that I as each I is the gate keeper of I...for it is for I...and I for an I that make everything to I...as to grant to I...is to for real be to I...as Realized...as aha...yes...I see it is all to and for I...as to and from I ...as the perfect relationship...I Give and Get Given here for it is the Gift of me/you/life here.
Meaning the play is in and as our permission authority to play...as like will allow ourselves to play...will we ask others to play....will we show others how to play...will we talk about our play...and to such a point where our work can become the play..in such a way where the play is a work in progress..as like a continued play day...play date that can stand the testaments of time as like...yes playing and working with what is here will stand the testaments of time...in and as the way to educate and entertain effectively....because education and entertainment together as a point of enjoyment shared between two or more is something rather harmoniously marvelous as the simplistic euphoria of the warmth of touch. This is life awareness here. This is who I am ....this is who we are. This is what I am about. This is how I choose to express and share the expression/creation of myself here.

,...it seems daunting and far to easy to actually be the way forward here...that trauma and suffering is not actually required...that simplicity is key in self exploration and creation. That really we can have a lot of fun in creating our fortitude of purpose and within this enacting a self-responsibility that will insure the future well being for generations to come as the knowing that this is substantial support that is fostering the facilitation of greatness in all ways always. It's important to note that obviously this enactment of purposeful living of and as self-responsibility will be a challenge in and of itself...because I realize I have been conditioned to operate in a way that is less than beneficial to all life here....so in breaking the restraints of my conditioned limitations may in fact very well be somewhat traumatically challenging....though I see here...the way in which I remove the layers of deception from myself as being related to me and my investigative digging...meaning that my willingness to pull off the layers of my deceit self-willing will be a challenge yes...but far less traumatic if I avoid doing so and therefore require to only realize through the consequence of my programmed planning conditioning playing out.

To be Continued

Day 694 - Freedom

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating positive energy about the word "freedom".

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating a negative energy definition as reaction to realizing and understanding how I created a positive energetic definition about "freedom".

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get stuck within and as my word relationships by polarizing them within energies as either being positive/negative/neutral.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing how I have perpetuated the polarity play of words within myself as an outflow and energetic reaction of myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not recognizing the extent to which freedom exists as kind of an ironic term from the perspective that no real freedom exists within and as the acceptance of a polarized vocabulary from the perspective of having words charged with emotion and or feeling.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent of programming that exists within and as my mind consciousness system as a result of and as my individual self-defined emotion and feeling associations to words as the various energetic attachments onto words which perpetuate a polarized disharmony.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the simplicity of freedom existing within and as responsibility...as the ability to express oneself here from and as the starting point of responding and or directing creation as what is best for Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and recognizing myself as the starting point of creation here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for separating myself from and as the word "creation"

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent of the cosmic joke that is 'fighting for freedom'...because this perpetuates the peace/war polarity...where one perpetuates the other...and is really anything but harmonious.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for denying to investigate all energetic word relationships that exist within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making up blame as a defense to why freedom doesn't really exist. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have perpetuated conflict within myself as a result of participating within blame and holding onto the belief that freedom cannot exist.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from and as "freedom"

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding freedom from the perspective of freeing myself from my own accepted and allowed enslavement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for looking to create an energy about freedom as a way to generate some sort of feeling or emotion in relation to the experience of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing how the seemingly natural reaction when investigating word relationships is to take on the opposite polarity as the believed to be correct/right adjustment and new way of seeing. I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of jumping back and forth between positive and negative energy.

When and as I see myself faced with a reaction, I first allow myself to take a breath and actually stop the energetic movement that is existing within myself as the reaction energy...I look at the energy specificity and I see/realize the word associations in relationship to the specific reaction I just experienced....I purify my word relationships here by first recognizing the impurity and then by forgiving the impurity and the particular energetic charge attached to the impurity and then I allow myself to play with the word for a moment as I work out an agreement to live as the word...from and as the perspective of substantiating the best potential for myself and the word here. I commit myself to living words as the best structures of support. I commit myself to specificity with my word selection.

When and as I see myself resisting responsibility.....responsibility from the perspective of seeing and realizing a potential opportunity here.....I take a moment to focus on my breathing a 4 count breath and actually stop my thoughts/feelings/emotions and take a self-honest look at the opportunity of responsibility that is available here for me to jump into and as a point of self-direction. I allow myself the opportunity to move within and as the moment of self-responsibility. I see realize and understand my potential abilities and skills are developed effectively as the outflow of my living and directing myself responsibilities. I realize and understand the ridiculousness of holding back on potential as a result of resisting to push self-responsibility.

I commit myself to living self-responsibility.

I commit myself to developing my talents/skills/abilities as a result of living self-responsibility.

I realize Freedom to exist within and as the living of self-responsibility/self-honesty.

I commit myself to practically living self-responsibility and self-honesty.

When and as I see myself faced with a moment of thought that seems so right, I stop and breathe, I allow myself to forgive my thought...as I see realize and understand the righteousness of thought is a hindrance to a holistic perspective here....I realize and understand the the self-responsibility in directing each and every thought through the application of self-forgiveness.

I commit myself to living self-forgiveness as an expression of Freedom here. I realize and understand self-forgiveness is a tool that is fun to use....when and as oneself realize the awesomeness potential of and as self-forgiveness as the gift giving tool that it is.

Day 661 - Debt Servitude in Word and World Relations.

So, I noticed some interesting points that were buried within myself in relationship to Money...and so here I outline the specifics and specifically rectify my misfortune and lay a new foundation of structured support to assist and support the expansion and creative development of myself in ways that are best.

Stress about Money…fear of failure to Pay….Fear of debt…Bankruptcy…Getting Screwed…Being Fucked Over…Getting into a Jam…bills…taking on increased financial responsibility…bank emptying out…not enough money coming in… bankrupt..

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stress about money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to be in the position where I cannot pay/play.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear “failure to pay”...failure to play.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear debt.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear bankruptcy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear getting screwed…specifically, financially..

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to be fucked over.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear getting into a financial jam.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to take on increased financial responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing my bank emptying out.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing not enough money coming in.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear going bankrupt.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for attaching my lively hood to money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not wanting to participate in the money slave game.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to be burdened with financial responsibilities…as like a form of debt obligations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to not be given enough money from others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing my value and self-worth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for compromising my value and self-worth within and as the fear of losing money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself ot fear losing money and not having enough money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for doubting my ability to actually have too much money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself ofr desiring to have too much money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting to write as daily as a point of self-support which in and of itself is money…life…value…creation here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting myself as life/money/words/world/creative/creation here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself of fearing to live/move/express myself here as wealthy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting the point of being wealthy in self-expression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting the point of being rich in vocabulary.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to wide open to sharing my wealth in words with others in my community.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to use my words in the best ways possible….as like fearing to commit my money to the best possible decisions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being cheap with my words and my money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing an impoverished vocabulary within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent to which an impoverished vocabulary wreaks havoc on the overall character well-being of an individual being here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for negating my fortune within and as the development of my vocabulary here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being resistant and apprehensive towards giving myself the gift of words…and knowing how to play with words and use them effectively in ways that are most excellent.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for complicating my capacity to learn within skewing the values of my relationship with words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting/desiring/hoping to gloss over and just kind of forget about the misfortunes I have developed within my vocabulary.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting the process of self-correction….remediation of my vocabulary…as the creation of and as my structural resonance alignment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting to actually rectify problems with solutions to the foundational issues within my vocabulary.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing the investment in time/labor required to do something the correct way.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to be at a loss financially within taking the necessary time to learn something effectively.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself of hindering/fucking with my learning capacity within rationalizing/justifying fear about how long a point will take to learn/get/live….and the money I need now.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting taking full accountability as the creditor and authority of my words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to doubt the potential success that is able to be brought into fruition through and as my creative capacity to structure my words in ways that are self-supportive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for choosing to dwell and try to escape the debt of a situation of circumstance I am in…by avoiding to actually direct the point…and instead busy myself within another activity that I define as being more fun and enjoyable to participate within.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having developed a relationship with fun and enjoyment where I juxtaposition myself in and as point of comparison…where my actually focus and expression is split…and therefore not an actual total commitment…because of the skewed starting point of trying/attempting/manipulating my starting point….from that of self-honesty,…self-trust…to that of fear….hiding…coping.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for limiting my capacity for fun and enjoyment within creating self-defining limitations on my ability to in fact live fun and enjoyment as expressions of who and how I am here in every moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for looking to separate and distance fun and enjoyment from and as the word responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for postponing the expression of myself here….as a result of believing that I just need/want to cope with misfortune for a little while first.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself ot get overwhelmed within facing the debt of my acceptances and allowances here…as the specific nature of my word relationships.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit the development of my words here within and as the fear/control/influence/addiction to feelings and emotions as the spectrum between the energetic field of love and hate.

When and as I see myself faced with fear/resistance in a moment to actually do something that I see is cool to do…is in fact wealthy…rich in self-expression…shows a cool character here….I stop and breathe…I make the decision to move myself into and as physical action/application in the moment and actually dare to live for real beyond the confinements or programmed restraints.

I commit myself to re-programming….re-creating…-re-structuring myself here as Life without debt.

I commit myself to create myself here as the process journey of self-correction….into and as living example of the Journey to Life…Heaven as Earth birthed from and in/out of the physical here.

I commit myself to Sharing my fortune/wealth in words here.

I see, realize and understand how my wealth/fortune/opportunity exists within and as my creative play/sharing/giving of my words/time/labor here.

I commit myself to living/sharing/giving/gardening profound substance within and as the structured placement/movement of my words/sounds here.

I commit myself to expanding my effectiveness/wealth/creation/correction of and as my vocation and vocabulary here.

I commit myself to living words effectively and efficiently.

I commit myself to exist within and as the life substance of my words.

I commit myself to living a concerted effort to make the most of my ability to structure my living words in the best possible ways.

I commit myself to take the time to care for the wealth of my life here.

I commit myself to living the self-realization that our ability and capacity to create and express as what is best for all Life here…exists within and as the concerted laborious effort we invest into and as our own vocabulary….because our effectiveness with words is in fact the dictating factor as to how our world will be…as like our spelling bee so to speak…because how we speak and move in co-ordination to how we speak…is in turn how we pollinate and develop the continuous operation and flourishing of potential expression here as a way to live that is epitomizing the highest value and regard for ourselves here as Life/Creation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing the time/moment of application…where in the moment I am faced with the consequential energy build up/debt I have accepted and allowed throughout time here….to actually take responsibility for wiping the debt clean and clear…and creating a new beginning fortune….trust….estate….standing for myself here.

I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding how in facing physically demanding moments where moving myself in action seems difficult….that this is it….this is the here point…where I can in fact actually develop my ‘trust fund’….my future well-being here….by investing in the moment in and as my future development…by seeing what is in fact triumphantly awesome and most possible…and so moving myself within and as this accord…a chord…way…note…music….expression…I guarantee myself the status standing capacity and agreement in which I am most fortunate.

I commit myself to taking responsibility for the creation of and as my fortune here.

I commit myself to reclaiming my status standing as the beneficiary of Life birthed from and as physicality here.

I commit myself to flourishing in and as my capacity and potential.

I commit myself to supporting and assisting in the blossoming of creative potential here.

I commit myself to supporting and assisting the future well-being of Life.

Day 643 - Make It Happen

It's interesting to examine how it is in fact that I am able to make things happen.

Many times I am faced with the point where a feeling/emotion/thought is presented as an obstacle to in fact making something in particular happen.

What I find interesting here is when and as I decide to let go of the thought/feeling/emotion and actually move myself beyond the limitation of the thought/feeling/emotion, I am in fact in the drivers seat so to speak to make "It" happen...like this is the point where I enable my ability to "create" here.

It's interesting to see how little I have actually directed for myself here from within and as the starting point of moving beyond thoughts/feelings/emotions as the points of limitation within and and as my actual physical movement here.

What I find interesting about the nature of thoughts/feelings/emotions is that it's like a self-induced hypnotic state/trance....and the decision exist within each individual here how long we in fact remain under the influence of our mind conditioning.

What I see here is cool, is the potential here for self-correction in every moment where we are faced with a point of resistance to "creating" and "expressing" self here within and as a point of self-movement/self-direction.

What is cool, is the self-satisfaction within actually making things happen as a result of moving beyond our self imposed limitation as the thought/feeling/emotions that bounds/binds us to self-manipulation/suppression/limitation/stuckness.

So,

A cool way to test and check this point for yourself is to, when you are faced with a task that you would in fact like to complete...but then a thought/feeling/emotion comes up as like a distraction as the "justification" to circumvent actual action within the point...to for a moment or a few moments...just look at the thought/feeling/emotion..and your experience within it...and actually relate/reflect it upon the point you in fact would actually like to make happen. What will become obvious here is that there is like a self-induced restraint and heaviness to actually being able to move into making the specific point happen...like, as long as attention is given to the thought/feeling/emotion that is "justifying" non action within a particular point of action...it's like by allowing the thought/feeling/emotion to remain here...it's a point of actually acting and accepting and allowing a "reason" and "justification" to exist as the self-hypnotic spell that keeps one from being able to effectively and efficiently self-direct and self-move here within a capacity to actually "make happen" what it is in fact you would actually like to "make happen".

So,

For an example, say you are going to do the dishes...and a thought comes up that says, "i'll just watch a show before I do the dishes"...try pausing for a moment...notice here this is a point where it's like you almost don't know what to do...because the fact that the thought came up...reflects a consideration in moving in a particular way...and the fact that you just paused...is like enabling you to see...that there is in fact still a pull/push towards the thought which is connected as a feeling/emotion.

Now, Commit yourself to moving on the point of actually just doing the dishes...and see what happens...like is there any more thoughts/feelings/emotions that come up...see here how we can move beyond our mind conditioning.

So,

This basic example illustrates how you can actually exist and operate/function here beyond automated reactions/directions as how you are suppose to move based upon the energy of a thought/feeling/emotion that you have previously created a relationship about within your mind.

Day 636 Relation Dynamics

Day by Day I am really beginning to appreciate all the moments of sharing that happen throughout the day. What I am realizing and understanding is how many moments are present to fully appreciate as a result of being here in myphysical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having disregarded the simplicity of physical participation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how small adjustments makes huge improvements.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the amount of assistance and support I receive in my environment is always in fact equal to that which I in fact give to myself....actually...it's like the more I support myself, the more and more and more support and assistance that is available to me from those I share my environment with.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I am receiving assistance and support when I am giving assistance and support.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding myself within Everything Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for participating within excuses and justifications that distract me from connecting/sharing/seeing a moment of support and assistance that is presented to me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for obsessing about the differences within people,...and within this not realizing and understanding the moments of self-reflection that are being presented to me here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to neglect the similarities that exist here within people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get lost within fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the nature of my existence here as like a holographic self-reflection.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for perpetuating inequality within and as our shared reality here as a result of accepting and allowing myself to exist within and as a fearful/survival mind set....of winners and losers.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I suppressed my abilities to effectively express myself as Who I really am within and as I harbored tidbits of self-righteous/Inferior Judgments/comparisons about others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting the practical living support within and as the words "solidarity" and "camaraderie".

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having feared to stand together with and as all of humanity here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to stand in front of the group as like a part of the circle as All as One and Equal Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for arguing/fighting with myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how dependent I became upon fighting within myself as a source of my attention.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have existed in separation from all of existence as a result of my fears of expressing myself here from moment to moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the absurdity of my relationship dynamics existing from within and as the depths of fear/survival...where and as suppressing self-expression makes sense and is justified within and as the self-deception of believing that I am right in my action/behavior.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how the ability to self-express myself here exists beyond the morality judgement of right and wrong.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having logically reasoned to make sense of my actions from and as a poverty/slave-master mind-set where my actions believable and justified.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing the on going and continuous commitment of moment to moment management and application where I am existing in real time physical reality and I stand as the epitome of responsibility...as I exhibit extraordinary ability to respond in the moment within and as the awesomeness of myself-expression here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having feared to risk self-expressing myself within particular moments...out of fear that I will be judged/not well regarded....I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding how within these particular moments I was in fact revealing to myself that I was in fact judging myself with low-regard and lack of self-worth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having disregarded myself within the realms of self-judgement...as like a justified self-induced separation from and as myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for pulling and pushing myself apart.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I pushed and pulled a part the relationships in my immediate environment as a direct reflection of and as how I was pushing and pulling myself a part, within and as attempts to escape my acceptances and allowances....without self-forgiving my opinions about myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how much I learn from and as communication.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent of my communication as a basic reflection and example of and as my ability to self-express myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for censoring communication out of fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how my communication has primarily existed within and as the starting point of fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing it is necessary to fear communicating.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for doubting my decisions when the decisions I make conflict with the general attitudes and directions of my environment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding my tremendous ability to relate points to one another as like having a great ability to forge bonds/connections here by illustrating the similarities within a point that is often missed when the focal point is to look at the separation existent. I see/realize and understand how to in fact remove the separation and strengthen the building of connections here that are best for life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the answers and solutions existing here as Our Physical Self-Reflection of and as Our Image and Likeness here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for over complicating the simplicity of things.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying and reasoning the need and a fascination to obsess and possess myself about and within relationships that I desire.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the mindfuck within obsessing over a particular point...as like how within and as this obsession...there is in fact a justification that is not seen/realized...as the obsession veils the justification.

When and as I see myself experiencing myself to be stuck within a point...as like a reluctance to move myself out of the point, I stop and breathe, I see/realize/understand that by beginning with a small adjustment,...that this is in fact the pivotal movement within and as self-direction/self-movement here as unconditional assistance and support.

I commit myself to the pivotal movement within and as self-direction/self-movement.

I commit myself to stop fearing to express myself in moments when and as I see I am faced with a point of suppression/fear/judgement/doubt/worry/justification.

When and as I see myself complicating things within my mind as a result of obsessing within thought, I stop and breathe..as I see/realize and understand this small adjustment is a pivotal point in changing my course of direction from self-suppression to self-expression.

I commit myself the the self-forgiveness and self-corrective application process in moment to moment application/self-expression of myself here.

I commit myself to removing all the manifested separation that exists within my mind.

Day 614 Creation

I'm looking at how it is that I create. I am seeing that how I in fact create is within the who I am as I create. Because I see the self-reflecting question within the 'how' as the 'who' I am as the starting point of creation here. 

What is interesting here is that I am noticing that I expect things to be created for me...like I have become reliant upon my mind of automatic creations...where I have a particular energetic experience and I just kind of roll with it. I see/realize and understand that I am in fact living out a pre-existing creation of my acceptances and allowances within my mind. I see/realize and understand my ability to create new moment of self-direction is in fact dependent upon me stopping the acceptance and allowances of my past mind creations as automatic energetic triggers within my mind....because what has become so apparent to me is how I have hardwired my mind to be in a seemingly somewhat constant perpetual state of reaction with momentary pauses here and there when I in fact give myself a chance to breathe for real as a point of self-direction in kind of like hey...let me take a breath and pauses for a moment...slow down...stop just impulsing within information bits that I have formed particular energetic connections/relationships to.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resistance at times to taking self-responsibility for my already existing creation here within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting to question the how and who within and as what I have created for myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stand within and as the starting point of practical living self-responsibility as the point of creation that is always best for all Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting to question what is best for all life within every moment of participation/creation here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for half hazardously accepting and allowing creations to exist that are in fact a disservice to my well being.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying the support for creations that are in fact a disservice to my well being.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to stand one and equal within and as Creation here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to orchestrate and correlate my Creation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to self-examine on a daily basis what it is I in fact created within myself here today.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for abdicating self-responsibility as a creator.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for hoping and waiting for someone else to authorize my abilities as a creator here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for seeking validation outside of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to exist as a Creator.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the irony within fearing to stand as practical living physical Creator here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to self-correct apparent design flaws within Creation here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for separating myself from and as the starting point of Creation here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to live the words Creator and Creation as practical living words of support and assistance as who and how I am existing here. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for negating self-direction and self-responsibility within and as the self-realization of myself here as a Creator and Creation Here.


To Be Continued