Day 740 - Self-Responsibility within Dedication and Determination

Continuing from previous blog entry.

Self-Responsibility is a gift in and as self-empowerment. It is a gift you give give to yourself. Self-responsibility is part of the epitome of practically living any and all words. It's the Authority self-authorization to move and express oneself here however you see fit.

I am looking at Self-Responsibility here in relationship to Dedication and Determination.  What I am doing is clarifying the way to create certainty within and as the development of my full potential.

Some, Self-forgiveness I see relevant here:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding that the commitment to and as the practical living of Dedication and Determination is enshrined within and as the giving and living Self-Responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for many times shying away from taking on self-responsibility within point I would like to be dedicated and determined within.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how if the Self-responsibility one bestows to oneself is not clear...it is easy to get lost/muddled within effectively living commitments to the best of one's ability.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent to which Passion exists within and as Relationship to the words: Self-Responsibility, Dedication and Determination.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself having resisted many times how to really establish a structural sound foundation within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent to which investigation of the Vocabulary in Relationships is of tremendous support and assistance in being able to know how to live self-responsibility within and as specific relationships.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the complexity of relationships as a result of and as the extent of vocabulary existent.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to always utilize a simplistic approach within and as self-investigation...where I start with a word and i examine the relationship interconnectedness that exists and myself reflection within it all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to actually give myself the Authorization to create Self-Responsibility for myself as a a Live of Dedication and and Determination within and as the work/play that I do.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting self-responsibility/dedication/determination within many moments of movement of myself here as like lacking the clarity of purpose within and as my movement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent to which I Authorize the Establishment of Self-Responsibility within myself as my Dedication and Determination.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the substantial Life I can create for myself within understanding and knowing how to live the words: Self-Responsibility, Dedication, Determination, Authority, and Passion.

To Be Continued

Day 710 - Legging go of the Knee'd for Ego

Read this blog here that is a transcription of the video "Revenge of the Ego". Read the words, Hear the words. Take your time.

In writing the title for my blog here, the thoughts that came into my mind were "wait, hold on, I don't want to let go of the Ego do? Don't I maybe need it...or like is it possible for me to exist without it....what are other people saying about the ego....isn't there something about just kind of managing your ego....maybe I should investigate the ego more before I decide to commit to a title that supports the notion of letting go of the need for Ego."

I see my knee injury that I am facing as coming at a very pivotal time in my life. I have been utilizing this is a point of support. Support from the perspective of reflecting upon the consequential build up of my mind consciousness system acceptances and allowances.

I see this knee injury as being a wake up call of sorts from the perspective of like, "hey my body is telling me something....my mind has been telling me lots of things that I have been buying into as idea's that is like contributing to me existing here as Ego...Dare I say Super Ego....as a being who has been influenced and controlled by energy, the very energy i have given credence to...as the ego....the motivation...the motive to do or not do in so many instances...as the pull/push...why....the purpose having been the energy as the what I believed came natural to me as what I wanted...and my belief in being devout in giving myself everything I want...as like creating this compromising position of sorts...a self-sabotage...self-manipulation if you will....where the wants become congruent with the needs to such an extent that there is like a blur between what is actually what...and just become an auto-pilot drifter of sorts as following the code....the code i created within myself as the ego markings...the map of how I respond to stimuli...how I am able to function....like an addict....doing whatever it takes to feed the want that has become a believed need...and making this a purpose of sorts as kind of enveloping within myself create black hole.

The irony of course is being careless and negligent within heir of superiority as the super ego stronghold....which is like a beingness lock down into suppression where the ability to see and breathe is often negated as like an unfortunate result of being so engulfed within a state of one's own personality possession. I see this as the consequence of bad Accounting...meaning, the neglect of my words/actions/deeds....where the pile-up/build-up became a pressure point crystalization that was just too much....a tipping point. a breaking point if you will....an explosion of sorts was the experience of my knee in a moment of physical activity where it seemed like I should be able to bend and contort my body into such a position without consequence.  And reflecting on past instances...I see that I was in fact able to make such pivoting maneuvers without pain and injury....but in looking back, I did not have the accumulation buildup that I had when I went into this particular fall....it's like the pressure buildup was just too much....there was no escaping it.

This consequential fall is quite interesting in and of itself and I am grateful to be here reflecting on the points as I see here this is all part of me Learning, expanding my realization of what in fact Self-responsibility is. Seeing here how my neglect of responsibility manifested and revealed itself in my physical body as me participating in an activity without the ability to immediately bounce back up and recover...it's like I had the idea/belief that I should be able to..and that nothing will happen to me....yet I see I didn't even consider why I wasn't able to...as like initially my Ego was too much to even see what I have been doing to myself in and as my thought/word and deed without and even realizing the severity of how creation in fact works as the working of words as the put together manuals and instructions for how things are to be formed as the information used to build the structures. No, I didn't think it of any paramount importance for me to be so disciplined that I accounted for Everything within myself...each and every single thing.

So, Oopsie, I have had a slip up a mighty great fall...due to some seriously neglected...disregarded and regarded accounting...as my self valuation...self-evaluation....and the irony here...is in and as how I have been living my-self-created-evaluation...and so the results are specific to me here...as my relationship reflection of me here as/with/within Everything here...and fuck....it is clear that the moment to moment application of practical living self-responsibility has been less than effective..and therefore I am facing the consequences of believing Life to be the Kneed for Ego...as like the only way to function here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the kneed for Ego I created within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that if everyone here is an ego, than might as well be a super ego.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to trap myself within ego.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I've fucked myself so hard within ego.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having continuously fucked myself within and as ego.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting lost within my own ego.  I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding the trick of ego in being for getting and the forgetting that ensues within the starting point of being all for getting...as like not seeing and realizing the togetherness of words as complimentary players here...but just abusing words as instruments of consumption.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for abusing words as a result of accepting and allowing myself to often regard words as meaningless...and to therefore never really care about myself or take myself as the living words seriously.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for seriously fucking within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for seriously fucking Everyone, Everything up.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to face myself and take responsibility for fucking everything up.....like....always believing to such an extent...that I do not require to be totally accountable as being the One here who is responsible for Everything being fucked up.

I forgive myself for fearing my own judgement within placing myself in a position of standing accountable for Everything here. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging myself as being too big an Ego to actually stand as a self-responsibility completely, embodying self-ownership for the total fuckup that exists here as everything.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get fearful in talking about Everything as a point of Existing and Life regard.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking of myself as Everything...and that being like too much.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as too little from the perspective of my potential ability to live self-responsibility here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to substantiate myself for real with my acceptances and allowances.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting stuck in personality character constructions that are less than Who I really am.


To Be Continued

13/03/2015 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- >>> 01/01/21

THE JOURNEY CONTINUES,

Picking up where I last left off here:

"TOO LITTLE" and "TOO MUCH" is EGO.

Equality and Oneness Together as One WORKS WELL to  Prevent the possibility of self-compromising.

PROCESS is for the PROS TO SAY ------- > PRO SAYS #worldclassplayer

To Be Continued

Day 694 - Freedom

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating positive energy about the word "freedom".

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating a negative energy definition as reaction to realizing and understanding how I created a positive energetic definition about "freedom".

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get stuck within and as my word relationships by polarizing them within energies as either being positive/negative/neutral.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing how I have perpetuated the polarity play of words within myself as an outflow and energetic reaction of myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not recognizing the extent to which freedom exists as kind of an ironic term from the perspective that no real freedom exists within and as the acceptance of a polarized vocabulary from the perspective of having words charged with emotion and or feeling.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent of programming that exists within and as my mind consciousness system as a result of and as my individual self-defined emotion and feeling associations to words as the various energetic attachments onto words which perpetuate a polarized disharmony.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the simplicity of freedom existing within and as responsibility...as the ability to express oneself here from and as the starting point of responding and or directing creation as what is best for Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and recognizing myself as the starting point of creation here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for separating myself from and as the word "creation"

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent of the cosmic joke that is 'fighting for freedom'...because this perpetuates the peace/war polarity...where one perpetuates the other...and is really anything but harmonious.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for denying to investigate all energetic word relationships that exist within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making up blame as a defense to why freedom doesn't really exist. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have perpetuated conflict within myself as a result of participating within blame and holding onto the belief that freedom cannot exist.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from and as "freedom"

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding freedom from the perspective of freeing myself from my own accepted and allowed enslavement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for looking to create an energy about freedom as a way to generate some sort of feeling or emotion in relation to the experience of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing how the seemingly natural reaction when investigating word relationships is to take on the opposite polarity as the believed to be correct/right adjustment and new way of seeing. I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of jumping back and forth between positive and negative energy.

When and as I see myself faced with a reaction, I first allow myself to take a breath and actually stop the energetic movement that is existing within myself as the reaction energy...I look at the energy specificity and I see/realize the word associations in relationship to the specific reaction I just experienced....I purify my word relationships here by first recognizing the impurity and then by forgiving the impurity and the particular energetic charge attached to the impurity and then I allow myself to play with the word for a moment as I work out an agreement to live as the word...from and as the perspective of substantiating the best potential for myself and the word here. I commit myself to living words as the best structures of support. I commit myself to specificity with my word selection.

When and as I see myself resisting responsibility.....responsibility from the perspective of seeing and realizing a potential opportunity here.....I take a moment to focus on my breathing a 4 count breath and actually stop my thoughts/feelings/emotions and take a self-honest look at the opportunity of responsibility that is available here for me to jump into and as a point of self-direction. I allow myself the opportunity to move within and as the moment of self-responsibility. I see realize and understand my potential abilities and skills are developed effectively as the outflow of my living and directing myself responsibilities. I realize and understand the ridiculousness of holding back on potential as a result of resisting to push self-responsibility.

I commit myself to living self-responsibility.

I commit myself to developing my talents/skills/abilities as a result of living self-responsibility.

I realize Freedom to exist within and as the living of self-responsibility/self-honesty.

I commit myself to practically living self-responsibility and self-honesty.

When and as I see myself faced with a moment of thought that seems so right, I stop and breathe, I allow myself to forgive my thought...as I see realize and understand the righteousness of thought is a hindrance to a holistic perspective here....I realize and understand the the self-responsibility in directing each and every thought through the application of self-forgiveness.

I commit myself to living self-forgiveness as an expression of Freedom here. I realize and understand self-forgiveness is a tool that is fun to use....when and as oneself realize the awesomeness potential of and as self-forgiveness as the gift giving tool that it is.

Day 684 - Profound

What I find interesting is that everything here is really rather profound. I mean the fact that I am here typing on the computer as an accumulation of networking relations really... I mean how many relationships are networking within the physical body?

What I find interesting is everything here. There is so much here! I really enjoy communication!

Communication is like a communion of sorts as like a common I see a connection or tie on...
Well, maybe communication isn't always portrayed and express as a sharing of a connection....In some particular instances it is the exact opposite of such circumstances.

What I have noticed is that it is so awesome in enjoyment to speak from the starting point of agreement. What do I mean when I say to speak from the starting point of agreement? Well, first of all it starts from within yourself and the starting point relationship you have with the words you are speaking. To speak words from beyond the energetic friction and conflict of a disharmony. This is an interesting conundrum of sorts at times...because as a result of participating with others in communication, sometimes we are faced with momentary reactionary energy that comes up within ourself...and the energy is like a pull/push experience where there is a somewhat of a learned conditioned tendency to want to push the energy out of ourselves as a sort of reactionary response within our communication dialogue...because it's justified within our mind as being of a particular validity because of the energy/emotion connection and connotation.

What I have personally found to be quite cool, is to actually recognize the moment the reactionary energy surfaces within myself and to then take a breath and speak from a point of self trust that exists beyond the energy emotion reaction...where I create a real time direction harmony agreement within and as the words I am speaking which are in relationship to the person I am communicating with.

I am learning about how effective this is in articulating any information effectively.

What I find fascinating about this process of communication that we are all networked within is that we are all so sensitive within our communications and our very communication indicates our particular points of sensitivity because everyone is essentially existing within the same basic operating systems....meaning that we are dealing with language...our base method of conversing with one another is through language. Our language can be verbal or non verbal. I have noticed specific correlations with our physical body postured positions and our internal body acceptances and allowances which I see are indicative of our word world relationships.

I was having a discussion today with a fellow and we are talking about the ridiculousness that its very uncommon...and quite rare really that anyone has the vocabulary of all the words that makeup that parts and the processes of our physical body. We were discussing how doctors are very much specialized experts into particular areas of understanding of the physical body...and how there are family doctors who have a general understanding of the overall functioning process of the body. And, of course there are nurses who have a general understanding of a bunch of the processes in the body...But the point we were looking at is...."who really knows everything about the human physical body?"  I mean this is quite a fascinating question in and of itself. Because, we are all existing within and as our physical bodies here...yet the detailed specifics of our complete realization of ourselves existing within our physical bodies is a mystery of sorts...because we haven't really been educated into the extensive nature of all the detailed specifics.

In looking at this discussion I was having and sharing....it seemed quite peculiar that this point of ourselves would be negated...as like a non consideration really....or a something that is easily dismissive because it seems to complicated in being able to do the mathematical accounting for all the vocabulary that is somewhat foreign from regular dialogue on a regular basis.

We got into talking about the magnificence of the physical body as like a representation of planet earth and how perhaps the best way to design a world that is best for all Life would be in accordance with actually studying and understanding the human physical body and it's effectiveness in existing here as a networking harmony of relationship agreements.

In looking at why I have neglected to dedicate much time into understanding all the vocabulary and processes of the human physical body...I see that I created resistance towards such an investigation because of the idea/belief/justification that this is just too complex of an undertaking and that I don't know how long it would take for me to effectively have complete comprehension of myself here as the human physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making a belief/justification/idea that studying/realizing/knowing myself completely as the human physical body is just too complex of an undertaking and that because I don't know how long it will take for me to completely realize myself as the sum of all my parts here...I might as well forget about it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having a tendency to dismiss and resistance participating within things I define as being "too complex or too complicated" and "I don't know how I will do will get to the point of completion of such a complex investigation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the simplicity and profoundness of the statement," a journey of profound magnitude begins with the first movement"

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing vocabulary that I do not know.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being resistant towards investigating things where there is a structured vocabulary I know nothing or almost nothing about.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to investigate things that will take a committed effort of time and patience.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to gift myself the gift of "Investigation" into the areas that I do not know.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding that the "areas" I do not know are parts of myself I have yet to discover.

When and as I see myself being resistance and apprehensive about embarking upon new investigations and new discoveries, I stop and breathe, I see, realize and understand my profound potential to learn and explore effectively through the specific structured application of asking questions and doing the math within and as the deduction process in realizing the answer and solution to the question I asked....because I realize and understand myself to exist here as the question/answer/solution equal and one.

I commit myself to investigating all point I am resistant and apprehensive about.

I commit myself to stop making excuses and justifications as to why I need not expand my potential through self-investigative endeavors into that which I do not realize I know...but I am in fact questioning...

I commit myself to share myself.

I commit myself to seeing and realizing the profound insight that is always here

I commit myself to my best self constantly and consistently.

I commit myself to walk the process in expanding my relationship with words in learning through work and play with new vocabulary.

I commit myself to share my profound insights.

I commit myself to acknowledging profound insights.

I commit myself to profound greatness.

I commit myself to profound creation as the solution that is in all ways best for Life.

Day 658 - Creating the Success of Ourselves Here

I just watched a Ted Talk called, "Programming Your Mind For Success".

In the beginning of the video, the presenter asked for a volunteer to come up on stage. There was resistance amongst the audience for anyone to just jump up and go up to the stage. The presenter said a few more words of encouragement and someone eventually came up to the stage and the presenter gave them 20 pounds.

The point the presenter was demonstrating was "Fear" in and as our Mind Programming.

Lets look at the simplistic definition of Success:

"The accomplishment of an Aim or Purpose"

Notice the relationship similarity/likeness of "Success" to "Succeed"

The simplistic definition of Succeed:

"Achieve the desired Aim or Result"

"Take over a throne, inheritance, office or other position from."

"Come after and take the place of"

"To come next in time or succession"

See the "Seed" within what it means to in fact "Succeed".

Hear the "Seed" within and as the word "Succeed"

Be the Seed in what it means to "Succeed"

Hear the "suck" in "Success"

See and hear the sound "says" like the sounding of the word "said" in the ending of the spelling of the word "Success".

This is walking the talking.

Breathing into Being the Creation of Life.

We are the Planter and the Seed.

Look and "See" within the "Seed" as What it is in Fact/Word You would like to create/develop/participate/expand upon.  

OK, Question: 

If I see and realize and actually know the words "Success" and "Succeed"....Why is it that actually living/manifesting "Success" and the response ability to "Succeed" is seemingly so difficult to achieve?

Answer:

Because we have created the reasoned justifications, excuses...as to why our word/world relationships with "Success" and our response ability to succeed to be so "difficult"

To put things simply.....'We have complicated things for ourselves"

To sort out our difficulties....our complications....problems....we must specifically identify with our words what it is that is in fact so difficult/complicated/problematic.

In doing this, we begin to actively take a part....remove our difficulty....because we get to Know the problem....and when we specifically Know the problem....we can in fact create the Solution....because in Knowing the problem...We can utilize the tool of "prevention as the best cure"...in creating the solution based on the starting point of Stopping/preventing the problem from occurring.

So, lets look at the point of Fear:

In seeing how we prevent our movement/success/achievement/purposes from being achieved because of our Fear....We can in fact forgive Our Fear as the point of making the effort to actively talk/walk/work through the fear by making the decision to 'When and as I am faced with the fear,...to, no more accept and allow myself to be bound/controlled/indebted to this "Fear".

What is interesting to see here is how I Created My Fear Here...and so, I in fact KNOW My Fear Here....So I achieve what I believe...I get what I give...one and equal....I do what I know...I can learn to do what I don't yet know how to do.

Back to the question of Why, 'even though we know the words "Success" and "Succeed" is it in fact so difficult to achieve....? ? ?

Because it's Hardly Easy...I mean it isn't without effort/work...though I do see/know that great work can become effortless as a Natural Ability and true physical self-expression.

What's interesting about achievement I've found, is that "Making things happen is as easy or as difficult as we make it"....

Why would we ever create difficulty/hardship for ourselves here? Not realizing and understanding the scope of our ability....response ability here....

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing my very best results.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting nervous about achieving new goals and accomplishments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to make a mistake when I am playing for the win.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to lose and desiring to win.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making success/winning/being the best to be a competition of conflict I am in with myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for carrying around stress/tension/strain as a result of desiring to win and fearing to lose.  

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the absurd ridiculousness of superimposing stress/strain/tension upon myself as like a believed necessary motivation tool to kick my ass into being better...a winner....a success...

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself that best results only come through as a result of perpetuated self-inflicted abuse/trauma.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get excited and emotional unstable about success.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being too hard/difficult with myself at times and forgetting to laugh at myself as a point of knowing how to physically live aloud self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to neglect the practical living application of "leadership" within and as "success" and my ability to "succeed" in achieving my goals.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to stand as "leadership" here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having desired to follow somebody.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to look up to somebody.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating an addiction to fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I created an addiction to fear/energy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how my response capable abilities have been suppressed as a result of feeding/perpetuating an energetic/fear relationship within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to standing as a leader.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to make bad mistakes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for looking for answers/solutions outside of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for negating/neglecting the specificity required in practically living self-trust in every moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting to be able to just copy someone else instead of expressing myself for real and creating a practical living example.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself self-dishonesty within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding self-dishonesty to be irrational fear.

When and as I see myself faced with an opportunity to succeed as a result of my specific movement/performance in a specific moment, I stop and breathe, I see what is required to be done in order for me to succeed.....I accept and allow myself to know and trust the success of myself here...I commit myself to moving/performing as a self-created success story here.

I see/realize and understand myself as the author and authority that dictates my success here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the association between Expression and Success.....I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding myself as a self-success because of my response-ability in living/sharing my self-expression here.

I see/realize and understand the relationship between success and self-expression.

I commit myself to practically living the words "success" and "self-expression" and "succeed" in and as the creation or my Life Here.

I commit myself to practically living "integrity", "perseverance", "compassion", "passion", "stewardship". "like-able", "skillful", "natural talent", "keen" , "focus", "awareness", "comprehension", "reading", "mathematics", "bold", "daring", "fearlessness", "calm", "cool", "collected", "Money", "Extraordinary", "Stupendous", "excellent", "Greatness", "Flow", "breath", "garden". "plant", "growth", "relate-ability", "regard", "structure", "creation", "creativity", "ideas", "Words", "direction".

Day 565 Decision to Self-Investigate Self-Interest

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having polarized ideas about 'self-interest'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having feared to meticulously examine/investigate my self-defined self-interests.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for associating 'self-interests' with individuality and self-expression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a cognitive dissonance to exist in relationship to the word 'self'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how my perception is skewed and distorted within the belief and acceptances and allowances of different individual self-interests.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having a hard time to see a collective self-interest here...as like this One Life Here in which we are all a part of.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being defensive in wanting to protect and defend and keep myself occupied within my individual character persona defined self-interests.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to keep investigating the question what will I do and how will I exist if I let go of my individual self-interest.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for connecting individual self-interests to my personal entertainment/desired stimulation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being addicted to my established preferred forms of personal entertainment/desired stimulation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to see how I can expand my potential influence here within our shared physical reality by letting go of personal entertainment/desired stimulation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for connecting my personal satisfaction and happiness to be dependent upon having the ability to exercise at my leisure the various forms of personal entertainment/desired stimulation that I have a my disposal. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for choosing to resist seeing that if I let go of the illusion/veil of ignorance that I myself am separate from all Life here...that I can begin to recreate myself here within and as the understanding of myself as Life as Equality and Oneness and therefore I would move out of the arena of free choice and the ability to choose to focus my attention on gratifying particular preferred methods of stimulation/entertainment. I realize and understand the point of personal self-responsibility that exist within myself to stand in and as support for all Life here. I realize and understand focusing my attention on having particular desired experiences doesn't really take into account my personal self-responsibility to all Life here. I realize and understand it is extremely selfish for me to focus my the starting point of my Life on the individual pursuit of having as many positive stimulating experiences as possible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for associating the relationship with self-interest to be based upon generated particular positive energetically stimulated experiences within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for choosing to be numb within the desire to be stimulated constantly with a positive energetic charge.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for disregarding the consequences of focusing my attention upon indulging within my individual defined self-interests based upon the point of stimulating me in a positive manner of enjoyment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be controlled and regulated by positive energetic stimulation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have built up a dependency upon existing within the focal point of having my particularly preferred forms of external stimulation as to induce my personal experience of comfort and relaxation without regard for the consequences of my participations because the positive feeling experience I illicit within my indulgences dehydrates me and makes me thirsty for more in like a never ending pursuit of trying to quench my thirst/appetite within my addiction to positive energetic stimulation that perpetuates the pattern of self-destruction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being reluctant to see how I can in fact step out of the behaviour patterned program of self-destruction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how my individual pursuit of self-interested indulgences/entertainment has perpetuated the behaviour patterned program of self-destruction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to lose the individual pursuit of desired forms of stimulation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have perpetuated the pursuit of desired stimulation through and as the fear of loss...as like the fearing to miss out on a particular opportunity. I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding the irony within the fear of loss...as like the loss that is accelerated indefinitely through the perpetuation and and starting point roots of fearing to loss. I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding how I have programmed myself to lose as a result of being/becoming the very embodiment of what I fear. I realize and understand my abilities and capabilities to reverse engineer the win/loss relationship which is rooted in and as the fear of loss...to a relationship agreement rooted in and as win/win relationship of life and death...where Life and death no more have to be polarized within and as a win and a loss. I realize and understand the fear of death as like the ultimate loss is ridiculously absurd.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that I can become lost within death.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having feared death.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for regarding death as the ultimate loss.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a polarized relationship association with Life and Death. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for regarding Life as positive and Death as Negative.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I programmed a veil of ignorance within my perception within the belief conditioning that death is bad and Life is good. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for polarizing existence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how self-interest is less than what is the best interests of all Life here when and as one exist within the mind frame of polarity based energetic relationship associations with a spectrum of judgement of Life value. I realize and understand the disharmony that is created within and as the result of existing within a skewed value scale of personalized self-interest were some aspects of Life are given VIP status and some aspects of Life are regarded with a diminished less than value. I realize and understand the insanity of disregarding the Equality and Oneness of All Life Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to investigate the self-defined values I have given to the various points of self-interest that exist within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the shame in neglecting to take self-responsibility for the skewed energetic valued relationships I have accepted and allowed to remain hidden from self-responsibility and self-accountability within and as the process of purifying my being here as Equal and One with All Life Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to stop fearing myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having become dependent upon stimulating an energetic experience through the perpetually accepted and allowed fear/conflict/friction that exists within myself as a result of choosing to be polarized within indecision.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing the change that is possible within myself as a result of dropping my focus attention of pursuits of individual pursuits of self-interest to practical living solutions that are best for all Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for subscribing to the belief and idea that what is best for all Life is me pursuing my individual desires.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting to see the consequence that exists within the designed nature of our shared reality as a resulting pursuit of self-interested desires at the expense of another losing their self-interested desires because of the polarized relationship of one winning at the expense of another losing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having been apathetic to the co-existence of all Life here within and as the perfect harmony of individual self-expression as what is best for all Life here because within and as the consideration of what is best for all Life here, each individual benefits and prospers exponentially because of the massive compounding interest of sharing the same valuation of Life as being of the highest/greatest value.

Day 542 Planet Time Share

If you look at earth as Everyone's home here....we have a great big Time Share. Like everyone here existing within and as a Time Sharing. Like how things are done are within physical space and Time. Now the question is...why is it that our time is not talked about? Like why is it that most unfortunate times are allowed to exist? I mean were all here together making up the rules and regulations for our Planet Time Share. It seems so obvious that it is our due diligence and personal self-responsibility to make sure we are effective with our Time Sharing. Obviously there is much improvement required with regards to our Time Sharing. If you look at and regard Life, the purpose is obviously about providing the greatest service....as that which is best for Life. Life service....at Your Service...how can I help You...You help and I help You...and together we exist in agreement of Life assistance and support. How Awesome is this? This is the most awesomeness...the realization and understanding of Life Service Assistance and Support. Isn't this what the self-responsibility of a Creator is. To Create that which is Great?

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for abdicating myself responsibility here as my due diligence to provide the best Life support and assistance I am capable of.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the concept of Planet Time Share.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become separated and confused within space and Time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing my ability to give as I would like to receive in every moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing my giving capabilities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for separating giving and receiving.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a disconnect to exist within giving and receiving.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the importance and dependency required for what is best for all Life on and in Planet Time Share.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding my real estate of being on and in Planet Time Share within every moment of myself Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing and neglecting my real estate self-responsibilities here as the living maintenance assistance and support required for providing the best Life services Possible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for disregarding all inhabitants of Our Planet Time Share. I realize and understand the interconnectedness of all inhabitants of Planet Time Share.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting caught in thought webs of confusion as manifested cognitive dissonance on and in planet time share.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for misplacing myself trust, self-confidence, self-integrity, self-honesty, self-esteem, self-regard, self-love,......I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for misplacing physical dimensions of myself here. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for forgetting about the totality of myself. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for misplacing myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for avoiding the questions required answering as to enabling myself to see and realize the totality of myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being impatient with the labor required to physically create that which is great on and in and throughout Planet Time Share.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating that which is less than great on Planet Time Share here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for planting seeds/words that are less than what is the best support and sustenance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for planting/speaking words without sustenance/substance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself causing havoc to our Planet Time Share.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting my capabilities as a care take and custodian of Our Planet Time Share. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for abdicating my self-responsibilities as a care taking custodian and guardian of our Planet Time Share.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify and perpetuate moments of greed on our Planet Time Share. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing moments of weakness to exist within Our Planet Time Share.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to choose to be influenced by weakness of character personalities on and in and throughout Our Planet Time Share.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for choosing in moments to neglect giving myself the strength of Character to stand unconditionally as constant consistent unwavering physical stability as the Best Life Support and Assistance Always.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having dismissed and disregarded myself as One and Equal within and without Our Planet Time Share.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to question the greatness potential of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not fully equalizing myself within greatness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing the self-responsibility that comes with and as greatness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to disservice myself as Life through fearing to exist within and as the responsibilities that come with and as the embodiment of greatness...as that being that which is always Best for All Life....as like the living realization of Equality and Oneness.

I commit myself to greatness.

I commit myself to questioning greatness.

I commit myself to returning to the great nest where all things great are born.

I commit myself to birthing myself as Life Living Greatness...as the realization and understanding of the magnificent perfection of Equality and Oneness.

I commit myself to removing all fear as the temporary road blocks to servicing and enabling greatness.

I commit myself to Planet Time Share as that which is always the best planet time sharing.

I commit myself to Life Giving Greatness.

I commit myself to turning weakness into strength.

When and as I see myself resisting to share my time in ways that are best for Life, I stop and breathe, I realize my practical living self-responsibility in caring to share. I direct myself to share that which I resist sharing. I commit myself to sharing. 

When and as I see myself speaking from a point of superiority/inferiority, I stop and breathe and I realize and understand the self-responsibility within planting/speaking words from and as the starting point of equality and oneness. I direct myself to speaking from within and as the starting point of oneness and equality.

Day 541 Christmas Elite

In my last post a few points came to surface where I see that I have had the attitude of a super elitist. I made point of things like"I don't want to be vacationing when everyone else is vacationing"...thinking about over crowding within doing activities like skiing or snowboarding for example. Looking further into the point I questioned the point...and see the fun in sharing holidays with lots of other people...well basically sharing time in general with lots of others is cool...it doesn't have to be holidays/vacation...just sharing time together is cool. The point comes up like attention, attention this is the situation here on earth,,,All Life Time is shared here together. I mean WOW. We are all sharing this lifetime here on earth together.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the significance of sharing a Life Time with All Life Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for disregarding the fact that all Life Time is shared.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting to share my Life Time in Service of what is Best for all Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the interconnectedness of Life Time here on Earth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be selfish with my time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking and believing that my time is separate from your time and that this is no real interconnectedness within all our Life Time here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being reluctant to share my Life Time here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for treating my Life Time as like mine and deliberately focusing on my self-interests with my time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding my Life Time responsibilities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for harboring a super elitist attitude of believing I deserve more free time than others and that I should just be grateful and happy that I have more free time than others within our shared reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging how people spend their Life Time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being angry at how I have spent my Life Time thus far.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging my Life Time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being ashamed of my Life Time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for hiding from the shame in my Life Time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not wanting to face the Shame within my Life Time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding that if I do not face every point of shame within my Life Time then I cannot in fact change for real in this Life Time.

I commit myself to face the shame in my Life Time.
I commit myself to change for Real in this Life Time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that time is mine within and as my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to work overtime to make the changes required for what is best for all Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for abusing time within focusing and desiring participation within self-interested pursuits.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to keep attention upon self interested pursuits of happiness and at the same time hope and wish that the labor required to manifest heaven on earth can just be magically done/completed like some sort of instant gratification.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how when I blame the super elite for not doing enough I am really blaming myself for not doing enough to make myself in and as the world a better place.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to do less than enough to make myself and the world that which is best for all Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as less than what is best for all Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking of myself as better than the best.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be in conflict/friction with what is best for all Life Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the shame within deflecting responsibility and accountability for what is best for all Life here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for half assing Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for beating myself up within facing the brutality I have accepted and allowed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for brutally abusing Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting to think that I played no role in contributing to the brutal abuse here on Earth.

When and as I see myself disregarding the preciousness of time, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand that every moment of time counts within the accumulation of moments of time to see what is accepted and allowed within time. I realize the practicality in living the principle of what is best for all Life. I realize my self-responsibility in committing this Life Time to what is Best for All Life Time.

When and as I see myself blaming the super elite, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand this is the point of superiority I have accepted and allowed to exist within my ego frame of mind. I commit myself to stop suppressing my ability to see with real eyes what is here as Life.  I commit myself to dedicating my Life Time to what is best for all Life.

I commit myself to Life.

When and as I see myself resisting to work overtime for what is best for all Life, I stop and breathe, I commit myself to working overtime as what is best for all Life. I commit myself to working in service of what is best for all Life.

I commit myself to servicing Life assistance and support.

I commit myself to stop distracting myself from servicing Life assistance and support.

I commit myself to accepting and allowing myself to exist as what is best for all Life.

I commit myself to doing what is best for all Life.

When and as I see myself focusing my attention upon self interested activities, I stop and breathe, I make sure I am not distracting myself from any point of practical living assistance and support. I commit myself to aligning myself in and as the interests of what is best for all Life. I commit myself to stop separating myself from the best interests of all Life Here.

Day 540 This is Why Christmas is Bullshit

I just watched the video, "This is Why Christmas is Bullshit"

A point within the video that sticks out that is totally fucked up is how congested everything gets. Like shopping malls, airports, and highways. Movement becomes seriously restricted because everyone is trying to do the same things at the same time. This mentality/behaviour is most unfortunate.

I was looking at the irony of how everyone perpetuates this "most wonderful time of the year" where movement is seriously restricted because everyone is trying to do the same thing at the same time which results in a less than desirable time for everyone.

I'm teaching skiing this winter at a ski resort and some people were telling me today how they don't even bother to come skiing from December 23rd to January 4th because the ski hills are a zoo...like everybody is on holidays at the same time and the ski hills are just so over crowded that a person's movement/flow on the ski hill is restricted/hindered as well as the quality of the snow/terrain gets tracked out rather quickly. The ski hill becomes like a congested highway.

This point about the movement/travel/flow being restricted because everybody is trying to move at the same time has me looking at the general consensus with the way commerce works in our shared reality.  I see how holidays are in relationship to commerce...and I question whether or not there would be a better more consistent stable annual flow/movement/travel if there were no holidays/special times of the year.

I also reflect upon the nature of the typical work week of the Monday to Friday grind. Yesterday my roommate was asking me if I was going out last night, saying and reminding me that it is Friday night...you know Friday night is one of the 2 main nights to celebrate during the 7 day week because you don't require to go to work the next day...assuming that you are one of the average people who work they typical Monday to Friday grind.  Also Friday night is a popular night to go out because so many other people are going out to get drunk and wasted because they too are looking to take the edge off all the stress of the restricted movement/strain of the Monday to Friday daily work week grind.

I know I hated going to school Monday to Friday. I know I was so happy when it was Friday...especially Friday afternoon.

Is there a better way?

Could things be better for everyone?

Will things have to get shittier for some in order for things to get better for the majority?

I've been paying attention to the weather...and the weather seems to be all out of whack...like it's not really snowing that much where snow is typically required to be...and it's snowing in places where snow is not typically required to be.

Our current weather patterns reflect the nature of the times within humanity. Chaotic, sporadic, consistently inconsistent, and totally bi-polar.

What's interesting is that there is like this bullshit hope within humanity that things will just work out for ourselves where we will be fortunate and prosper while everything goes to shit all around us. Whether it be to get the perfect weather while the weather is wreaking havoc elsewhere, just kind of hoping that nature works out in our favor while not ever really considering the extent of our own nature and how nature as we see nature is a reflection of our inherent nature and that nature is reflecting to humanity it's forces and how destructive our forces can be when our forces are not in and as a balanced alignment.

So: money, travel, nature, work, holidays........hmm...

Money determines the amount we are able to travel.
Money determines the nature of our travel.
Money is what we work for.
Money determines our holidays
Money determines our work.

I question the planning of holidays.

Personally I do not want to go somewhere to vacation on holidays when everyone else is also on vacation on holidays.  It is not practical for the majority of people to be on vacation/holidays at the same time. Or is it? It makes it easier for the super elite to vacation when the majority are not able to be on vacation...because the majority are on vacation all at the same time...and this makes less traffic for the minority for most of the days throughout the year because the majority is slaving away, saving their few extra dollars for a less than stellar congested holiday that is burdened with more stress and strain because the system is not designed to be stressed and strained...and stress and strain are forms of unnecessary abuse.

Stress and strain are unnecessary forms of abuse? Why then do we accept and allow ourselves to perpetuate a global matrix system of continued ever evolving stress and strain? Who is responsible for stopping and changing the global matrix system of continued ever evolving stress and strain but ourselves?

But what if we don't want to give up our Christmas? Like to spite what is best for all Life...because we have memories that we want to cling to and hold onto forever more...that consume us and delude us from even realizing and understanding how these few positive memories block out all the horrendous trauma that is happening all the time because so much negative can secrete the tiniest small little bit of ecstasy and well that lovey dovey feeling is like a gooey warmth that drives/funnels/perpetuates abuse/evil/inhumane acts/ as everyone desires the almighty gooey orgasm lovey dovey energy secretion.

To Be Continued, As I realize and understand I am required to take self-responsibility for this super elitist position I find myself sitting within.

Day 456 Physical Body Talk

The physical body is always communicating.  The physical body is an instrument of communication.  The human body exists as a result of communication.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting to pay attention to my human body physical communication.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having many times just kind of ignored symptoms as specific human body communications because symptoms didn't seem severe.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to pay attention to communication unless I regard the communication as "severe"


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that I don't have to pay that close of attention to things that are not in a severe state....because of the belief that things don't need to be fixed if they are not "severe"


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having limited my ability to regard physical body communication from the perspective of not really paying the much attention unless the I believe the human physical body symptoms to be severe.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having waited in many instances for myself to be in a severe situation before acting/moving myself.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing the communication understanding of prevention is the best cure and within this understanding it's important to regard and monitor as like take note of all communication that is existing within oneself/environment/world.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the extent to which communication is everything.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the interconnectedness of communication as sound-expression.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having neglected to take care to make sure all words that exist within me are planted from and as a starting point of equality and oneness as the roots of creation here as what is best for Life.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having neglected non-verbal communication.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to thoroughly investigate my non verbal physical reactions.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the extent to which I am making a statement in every moment as physical body communication.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the human body as the point of self-honesty.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding how my physical body assists and supports me to understand Life physicality as Oneness and Equality.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having had a bad attitude about physical body communication as like not really seeing and understanding the significance of self-maintenance/government.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding my physicality as a point of self-governance.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting to see physical body communication as a result of distracting myself with what I hear.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the extent of what it means to see and hear here.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have difficulty with common sense in some moments.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resisted to listen to listen to my physical body communication.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for taking my human physical body for granted.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting to realise and understand the profound magnificence of my human physical body.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for taking my physical human body of profound magnificence for granted.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing the awesomeness which is is the human physical body as sound agreements working/playing together from the starting point of what is best for the whole body is best for me.   I realise and understand the point that each part contributes to the whole connection and that each part is integral in being the best.



Thank You!



A treat, a serendipitous discovery/treasure/cool musical expression....In Joy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxOF96FTlQ4