day 800 - Integrity of Sharing

See the full share here:

https://steemit.com/life/@worldclassplayer/integrity-of-sharing


Note:  If You are Not in Fact familiar with Steemit, You should!  There's a lot of reasons why.  At the very least...it can change your life for the better.

Day 799 - Desteni and Dignity

 See the whole story here:

https://steemit.com/desteni/@worldclassplayer/dignity-and-desteni-my-vistit-to-the-desteni-farm-and-my-potential

Day 795 - I Manipulate with Justification

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate myself in my world through Justification where I am existing in and as a sort of Ignorance of my living of and as the word JUSTIFICATION.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to self-sabotage myself and my participation within my world within and as the execution of JUSTIFICATION to make sense of my accepted and allowed abdications of my best potential living here as Life made manifest as the realization of myself as All as One as Equal.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand how I create JUSTIFICATION as a form of Defense and Offense I administer regularly to aggressively hold myself within a state of Suppression. I realize this shows to me how deceptive I am, because within this I play dumb as a point of Inferiority, pretending I do not know what I am really doing to myself and others as I use and abuse my words specifically for a sort of reactionary play out of the truth of myself acceptances and allowances.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist slowing down within and as Vulnerability and Patience to investigate the usage of my words to be sure that I am standing clear in and as the meaning and the specificity of my share.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be so careless within and as JUSTIFICATION.


I realize the shame within and as the way I have lived Justification.


I realize the travesty of my living and understanding of how to best express Justification.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Weaponize Justification within myself where it's always been used from the starting point of me existing here on the field of battle, playing out my inner conflict and superimposing my suppression/depression onto the world as how I manipulate myself and others into the point of Inferiority.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand the fear within and as my usage of Justification, where it has been my accepted and allowed, Inferiority and Inadequacy in me that has kept me Justifying....where I created this Need within myself to Explain my Reactions as my actions, to Justify my self-righteousness as someone who is ok, or even better than ok, someone who is good and is even in fact admirable.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to superimpose deceit within my structuring of words.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand the origins of the trauma from my childhood as the source memories of myself physically integrating/learning how to Defend and Attack myself with Justification.



I commit myself to exposing the ridiculousness of Justification used from the starting point of making sense and rationalizing the explanations of failure without being asked and or questioned about such things.



I commit myself to question myself and others in and as the usage of Justification.


I commit myself to show how Justification is an effective tool in and as Manipulation.


I commit myself to use Justification as a tool of self-support in questioning my acceptances and allowances....and to from here be Vulnerable and Intimate with myself in going deep into the discomfort within and as my body...and from here, access the memories of my past where i accepted and allowed suppression as a result of not realizing nor investigating the specificity of my reactions.

Day 794 - FaceOff "JUSTIFICATION"

I've been facing the characters of myself as how I have conditioned myself to respond in a plethora of scenarios.  What's interesting to see is myself as the array of characters and also to within various forms of interactions/engagements where sometimes i have a particular resistance towards a certain type of character and it's like i want to move on and away from that character as quickly as possible because I see something in them that I don't like.

Lets look at this point of seeing something in another person that i don't like.

The things i see in other people at times are ugly, undesirable, awkward, overcompensation, fake, fucked, bullshit, superiority, inferiority, volatile, scripted, Routine, justification and excuses.

These are all points of myself that i am working through.

for practical purposes here: I am going to take one word:

JUSTIFICATION


I've been getting so angry when reading and speaking with others and Justification comes up.  Like this up sets me very much. The irony of this is it is showing a deeply embedded point within me.

What I have noticed about myself within and as my day to day living as JUSTIFICATION, is that it has been a point of self-suppression, a form of accepted and allowed defense system that I use as a form of Offense and Attack on myself that is projected outward onto others to compensate with a form of suppression/depression existent within myself.

Let me further clarify:

Justification has been used by me as a sort of Self-narration to Explain myself to others my Point of View as in why I am Right within my Living as the decisions I am making and have made.  Justification is the Excuses I create as the ways to validate Inferiority within myself as Accepting less than my Best Potential.

I've been using Justification as a form of aggressive Offense where I would instantly go into an automated reactionary response where I experience the urgency to Explain myself and my actions to others.  Fucked up in a lot of ways, because what this reveals upon further investigation is how I am manipulating myself in participation through others.  Meaning, I use my participations with others to validate my behavior and pattern where i superimpose a sort of Validating and Accepting response/reaction in others the way i position my sharing of information as JUSTIFICATION.

SEE:

Justification has been my way to say, " Just If I see a Tie On".  Meaning also: Just if  I/Me/You can see the connection I am making here and accept it as the terms of the Contract I am presenting here as my word scheme as my Pyramid layered self-deception.

Vulnerability has been a support word for me in going deeper into investigating JUSTIFICATION within myself.

Vulnerability is cool because I within and as Vulnerability I am strong in standing in and as Weakness.  I move past my dissonance and stand as the point of accounting for my acceptances and allowances that are not cool.

The experiences I encounter within and as my vulnerability are very challenging at times as there is often a certain amount of intensity that comes up and that has manifested in a myriad of ways in my body in various moments...and so I've made a sort of game and challenge for myself in being my own DETECTIVE in making a play and work of Identifying the Specifics of the experience that surfaces and comes up within myself.  What is very fascinating about this detective process of self-investigation for me is that my behavior and patterns are Learned over time, Layered within and as Specific Memories of past acceptances and allowances. So much fun and excitement in a way of creating the path of self-discovery with going into the seemingly Unknown of myself.  Unknown from the point of not realizing and understanding how exactly i self-sabotaged, self-suppressed myself in the first place!

This process of self-exploration as taking on the staring point responsibility here as an Existential Detective has been a journey and an adventure for each and everyone.  My ability to relate and share and teach and learn has improved immensely.  The quality of my life is a continued improvement because I Keep letting go of baggage that is unnecessary to hold onto as impressions of suppression as the points and moments in memory as Not Understanding and Realizing myself here as Life, One and Equal.

I enjoy learning so much.

I encourage each and everyone to dare to go deep within and as your participation's with others and the activities you participate within alone...and really see what you think about others and the activities you participate within ,,,and really get to know your weaknesses, you know, The Justifications.....the Just if I see a Tie On.

Remember:

Justification in and of itself can be a cool tool to see where we work to create explanation in our actions...and actually understanding the nature of justification as why we are wanting to manipulate our information in a particular way.

Do we see how Manipulation is Complimentary in action to Justification?

Day 792 - Royally Fucked

Royally Fucked

“I realize all forms of Inferiority and Superiority are essentially the same thing as points of self-suppression and that it's like Inferiority is less suppression than superiority....where superiority is superior suppression. Funny to see the irony of suppression within Inferiority and Superiority where it's Inferior suppression and Superior Suppression.....like fucked and double fucked.”

“I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having become so used to being royally fucked that I experience myself as uncomfortable in being less than royally fucked. Where being less than royally fucked, feels strange and almost embarrassing and shameful...where i should want to fuck around more so i can get back to being royally fucked. The irony is profoundly fucked lol.”

The Fact that within our world we have the word “Royalty” and “Royal” is an indication of the ingrained Debt Servitude relationship as Inferior and Superior. This is showcased well as the basis of energetic conflict within and as Mind. Polarization. Friction. Battle. War. Slave Mentality.

What do I mean when I say, “Debt Servitude”?

Servicing and Creating Debt. In Service of Debt. Like Debt is the Superior and the Service is Inferior. Where the Debt and the Service need each other to exist...because it's like a point of both being incomplete without the other one...and so each is bound, bonded to the other.

Relation Fucked. Meaning, the basic framework in which relationships are designed is within and as this debt based construction of More than and Less than. Money has become the medium to support the servicing of charges. Energy is another expression and outflow of money. Meaning, Our positive feelings and negative emotions as our relationships to everything here.

Why Relation Fucked?

Relation Fucked, because the basic mode of conditioning, our behaviour within and as mind set up has been, Royally Fucked. Ironically, it is because of our own Accepted and Allowed Royal Acclaim. And our own accepted and allowed Royal Servants. Where each is a manifested representation of ourselves here in all ways and our reaction/impression about it, is like valid confirmation for mind justification in continuing to mine and mind the feeling and emotion about what we see....because what we see is what we are...and it's been going on for so long as the Specificity in Definition Impressions. Where it's like we just layer and layer and layer the Self-Deception. Only, we don't regard our behaviour necessairly as draconian...but more of a sort of human evolution of our greatness...and that our greatness is just very complex and sophisticated like our intelligence...I mean deception. Cough Cough.

Where am I going with this bit, “Royally Fucked”

It's a point of self-reflection for me in and as the world here. Where I am in the process of taking responsibility for all characterizations of myself here. Removing the Separation existent within myself as how I separated myself from all characters here by believing myself to be an individual character that is totally a Separate Setup from all other characters here. See, it's interesting because we have the whole spectrum of characterizations within ourselves...and it's a range of vocabulary and a range of feelings and emotions...just as we have a range of colour here that makes up the spectrum of colour. Point of Investigation is ourselves here as Life.....What is Life...Life is Sound. So in really investigating through words the structure of myself and the world, word by word in a way where I can specifically investigate how I have articulated...made my artistry into the point of ecstasy excretion through perpetually suffering and torture,  making slave labour by keeping my Body and Beingness in a state ingrained debt servitude to my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand how I created the design and definition of Royalty within my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand how the definition of royalty existent within my body and mind as supported the world as a whole being exactly the way it is.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to really go into myself to see who and how I am existing within and as my mind as Royalty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to face myself as Royally Fucked.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deny and suppress myself here as Royalty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying the suppression of myself as Inferior to Royalty because of various phrases such as: “its just the way things are”, “there's just royalty and non royalty”, “our family just isn't the royal one”, “not everyone can be royal”, “Royalty wouldn't exist if everyone was royalty”, “royalty is a necessary position and part of our world and society”.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into conflict with “Royalty” where I would be angry and frustrated with the status of the world, my words, myself here....while most of the time, only projecting my disgust outwards onto others I define as Superior to Me here in this world as for instance the Queen of England and her Royal Family.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame people in this world who are regarded as Royalty for the problems within and as the class system of inequality existent within humanity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to fight against the world out of frustration for my understanding of the relationships that exist within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to really take the time to place myself as each individual thing here....to really stand in and as each One here in this world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having created a preference towards conflict and destruction over collaborative structured creations. I realize the ridiculousness of fighting for my limitation. I realize that working together is to get things done...is to actually move as the point of democracy here...in making things happen as a result of weathering the weather as a result of creating the ripple that is the momentum that moves the current which is currency which is our weather system which is our water which is our weather, which is our environment.

I realize I like to use synonyms for words, as this is like this and this is like this and this is like this....I realize this is a support in seeing how words are capable and able of supporting and assisting each other in working and playing together as a form of compliment and complimentary action.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge my usage of words and how I create the flow of my words in sentence structure.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the judgment and condemnation of others for the flow and presentation of myself here in and as Word.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become apathetic within and as my Words...specifically the structuring and the sounding placement of how I lay things out. I realize I created an apathy towards practically structuring my reality. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create Apathy within myself....and within this, justify the suppression of my ability to structure and create new Potential.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lock myself up within my word relationships in such a sneaky and deceptive manner of self-trickery that I resist to even speak or write about it....because the pain of self-condemnation as an Inferior and an Imbecile is heart breakingly embarrassing to myself as Mind Superior Royalty who is Superior to such characterizations and behaviours.

To be continued

Day 791 - Inferiority and Money

 I found some self-forgiveness writing I had done some time ago on "Inferiority and Money".  Interesting, I had some resistance to sitting with my words here.  So here they are:



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create and superimpose this sort of inadequate self-acceptance in relationship towards money and activities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to put pressure onto myself to explain my financial situations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to question being vulnerably open about money and expenditures.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to to brag about wealth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a sort of inferiority/superiority character construction play out in regards/relationship to money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into an experience of inferiority within myself where i experience a sort of needing desire to explain myself to another in a way where they see me as all sorted out...well put together and well taken care of.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be very concerned about how others regards and perceive me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have created a Want,.....specifically a Want to be regarded and perceived in a certain manner.....a manner where I am generally regarded as Superior to others....especially in regards to matters of Money, and quality of Life, and overall Well Being, and Intelligence/Awareness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project competition outside of myself from a starting point of separation where I create a want to explain myself to others from a a starting point of separation.....where within this, I go into the experience of justification as an outflow form of belief...in believing i must say this and this so that so and so knows this and that about me...and so they can perceive me in this way.

Asking myself what comes up...why the resistance here?

The Fear of Seeing myself within acceptances and allowances that are less than admirable in my own mind.

In my own mind I am great, the most superior, even in points of skill development i haven't yet developed, the belief is there that i can if i want to, that i can do whatever I want, that i really don't have many limits or walls on my physical ability....and for me it is simply a matter of making a decision to do whatever it is I want to do.

My general Attitude is that I get what I want. If I want it, I got it. My will is my way. I can figure out any problem.

To Investigate myself acceptances within Inferiority is an Unmasking of myself as the hiding I created as a sort of defense mechanism within my mind...to in a way, keep me locked within an Elitism mentality of Self-Righteousness where I keep the Fight for Survival alive where I am always superimposing myself as a Winner in relationship to the deep down self-acceptance of myself as a Loser.

This goes deep into myself here, and the seriousness of competition I place upon myself as like the pressure and buildup i carry around and let loose....though it's interesting because it's like I have held myself back from being One and Equal as Life here, as my Potential to be a Real Team Player, because of this point of Inferiority....Inferiority to such an extent where i dismiss and discount myself. So much of this has been hidden from me in really seeing clearly, because I always deflected self-responsibility, self-reflection away from myself and built up a wall of self-denial in so many ways....where it's like I've always been trying to be clever in building up my defenses within myself where I can mess around.

Ironically, this messing around and avoiding the deep seated truths of myself has been anything but easy. Sure, I've made things look easy at times, but it's been an act of sorts to play down an effortful performance. It's like I've become an expert in deception. Specifically specializing in self-deception, Masking myself disregard, accepted inadequacy with Superiority, and self-imposed greatness as a sort of religious belief about myself that was logically justified one day as a result of the thinking, 'this makes sense, if i am to be great, i must believe myself to be great, i must say it” Within this, there is some coolness....but, not all the way there, because i didn't totally own these words as myself, where i didn't totally live this as me...it's like i just took on a glossed on the top attitude and persona of greatness to cover up how I've really felt about myself for a long long time....so long that i didn't even understand how I could accept and allow myself to be Inferior. I didn't even know what Inferiority was, but I took it on. I accepted it within my mind....and from that moment it's like I've been in an internal conflict of Inferiority versus Superiority where Superiority must triumph over Inferiority to self-validate the experience of worth while and valuable. To be wealthy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand the irony of Inferiority versus Superiority where Superiority must win because it's like the experience of Inferiority is Superimposed within Superiority to existing as Super Inferior, where it's the experience of being Better, Winning, feeling more than that which you define as Less than. Which, is quite funny in and of itself because it's like hey, “I'm going to fight for my limitation here....see I've defined myself as 'less than' this particular thing...and so I am going to fight to become even less than this particular thing....but I will feel mighty and powerful over this point i accept and allow myself to be Less Than....So much so, I will trick myself into existing as 'more than'...and it will be gloriously victorious”

I forgive myself to suppress myself within self-definitions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize the extent to which i suppress myself within my words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to superimpose suppression upon myself as a result of resisting to investigate and in fact purify my word and world relationships where I see I exist in some sort of Inferiority or Superiority.

I realize all forms of Inferiority and Superiority are essentially the same thing as points of self-suppression and that it's like Inferiority is less suppression than superiority....where superiority is superior suppression. Funny to see the irony of suppression within Inferiority and Superiority where it's Inferior suppression and Superior Suppression.....like fucked and double fucked.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resistance to being less fucked than I previously was.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having become so used to being royally fucked that I experience myself as uncomfortable in being less than royally fucked. Where being less than royally fucked, feels strange and almost embarrassing and shameful...where i should want to fuck around more so i can get back to being royally fucked. The irony is profoundly fucked, lol.

To Be Continued with: “Royally Fucked ....Maybe, Just, Royally Screwed”

Day 790 - Addiction

What Do You Know About Addiction?

Addiction:

Addition of Diction. Diction is the choice and use of words. Notice with any Addiction there is a specific Affinity about a particular Action. Within the Action which is a form of participation, there is a specific choice and use of words...about the particulars within and which make up the activity.

What makes Addiction difficult to Stop?

Not realizing the specific definitions giving to the experience that results from feeding the addiction.

See: The definitions of the experience is within our words and our emotions and feelings.

The way the relationship is fuelled is from a starting point of Internal Conflict. The Addiction, meaning the action and participation within a certain type of behaviour, is perpetuated by having created a Need to get this Fix. “A need to get this Fix”.

How an Addiction becomes Itself in reality?

Repetition. Repeating the same actions over and over within oneself to generate a very specific Experience. Scientifically, it is a form of Suppression and Depression.

Why is Addiction a form of Suppression and Depression?

Because the Life-force of the body is being hosted by the mind relationship to get an Experience. Specifically, Chemically...it is a form of self-created custom designed Ecstasy Heroin, which is completely individualized as your preferred High.

Why is Stopping Difficult?

Not understanding How. What do I mean by that? How to actually give yourself permission to do what you want. See: when your relationship towards moving and doing things is from the starting point of Addiction....being compelled from an experience within yourself....you just do it without any effort....because you are motivated unconsciously to chase that feeling.

Judgement. Stop the Judgement. Judging yourself within your addiction just perpetuates the build up.....build up, meaning the energy friction conflict within yourself that has become dependent on getting this fix.....this fix being a very specific experienc.

Notice this dimension: “getting a fix”

Deep Deep down within yourself is the acceptance and allowance of yourself as 'Just Not Good Enough', 'Inadequate', 'Inferiority', 'Anger', 'Frustration' and 'Irritation'. (there may also be other specific words deep down....but these are core words that fuel this self-created problem)

Someone who recognizes they have an addiction is usually somewhat aware of these core points mentioned above.

However what is difficult to do...and is often missed and over looked is the flip side of the coin. Meaning all the positive experiences inside yourself. The energetic Highs. Positive energy. See: It is actually this desire to get a High...whether the High experience comes in the Form of an Upper or Downer or Trip-Out experience is irrelevant. It's a specific individualized self-created custom high experience.

How to Take Care of Yourself in Stopping Your Addiction?

It's a matter of getting a divorce. A divorce, meaning, putting a stop to the agreement that's been created about the Addiction.

See it's all in the words.

Start with writing about How much You Love the Addiction. Why you Started Doing it. Your experience right now, may be experienced more Like Hate....that you Hate the Addiction....But if you self-honestly look back to when you started, You Loved It!

So, No judgment.

Write out what you love/loved about it.

Take your time, Go into it. Make Notes.

From Here, You start understanding the relationship you have created....that in it's very nature it's extremely charged. See the real test of character....self-honesty here is the willingness to go into the Positive....what you like about it.....because, it's easy to want to sort of Hide and Deceive and Delude and Justify with words.

Understand that many people look for reasons outside of themselves as to how they can stop. It's interesting, because this can be effective....but it isn't the recommended way to go....because you go further into Inferiority inside yourself through self-projected Superiority....you know, being a Hero, or a Martyr...A real “Good Person”. And the fascinating thing, is that people will recognize you as that point.....so now it's like you've just transmutated the addiction into another channel/avenue to continue feeding the fix experience. Ironically enough....it's like even more secret...and less obvious to even yourself....because the point is now further layered into you.

So,

The way out of the addiction is a matter of Word Regard. Go all the way within opening up the Good and the Bad. In doing this, One can remove the HYPE...the energetic build up....See it's a Balance of the Good and the Bad....The positive energy and the negative energy.

Day 789 - TRUST and SELF-TRUST

TRUST and Self-Trust

In Asking myself how do I define Trust, What comes up within me is Honesty, meaning my truth and responsibility. I take the meaning of Trust a step further into myself as Self-Trust...myself as It....and so Here is where my Self-Honesty and Self-Responsibility are.

In opening up my investigation into Trust, I questioned whether or not there was any other Key words to support myself within and as Trust. What came up is: Confidence, Ability, Strength and, The Assured Reliance on the Character.

The Assured Reliance on the Character; Confidence, Ability, and Strength.

What Jumps Out at me Here is STRENGTH

In Questioning: Why have I had moments of difficult within and as Trust/Self-Trust?

The Answer: Moments of Weakness. I did not allow myself the truth of myself in moments of weakness. Meaning, I did not completely understand the dimension of Strength within and as my Trust. I resisted allowing myself to really face myself as How I am Living Who I am.

This lack of regard for my Strength became a massive point of suppression within myself. See, without Strength it is difficult to turn weaknesses into strengths.

What has now opened up for me is Understanding and Realizing the Complimentary Nature of: Self-Trust, Self-Honesty, Self-Responsibility, and Strength. Self-Strength.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand what it means to live Self-Strength.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to dismiss any regard for Strength within and as Trust and Self-Trust.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand the complimentary structured support within and as Strength.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand how I've abdicated Strength of Character as Who I Am as Self-Strength.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress myself here as Strength.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand how my mind has been showing me my Weakness within and as Strength. I realize my mind has shown me my weakness within and as Strength/Self-Strength as a result of how i've been accepting and allowing relationship judgments of Characters as either Inferior or Superior.

I realize the polarity game of Inferiority and Superiority, reveals self-accepted and allowed Inferiority. This is so, regardless of whether or not You believe yourself to be Superior or Inferior in relationships. Stop it.

I commit myself to stand within as Self-Trust. Self-Trust being my self-assurance in who I am here as self-honesty, self-responsibility and Self-Strength.

I realize my ability to live words effectively as Who I Am, is a result of How I Give meaning to the words I speak. I realize I must first question and understand the meanings of my words if I am to ever establish Clarity and Purity within myself here as Life.

I realize the process of word investigation is a process of self-intimacy that is unique to each individual.

I realize and understand the self-satisfaction within purifying....fine-tuning an imperfection within my Word and World Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand that when I struggle within making decisions, it is a result of have conflicting charges existing within my words. I realize and understand the solution is within investigating the specifics of each word in regards to the problem. What I mean by Problem...is the Decision that has become stuck within a point of Indecision. Ironically, I realize that Indecision is also in fact a Decision.

When and as I see myself making a decision to exist within Indecision, I stop and breathe, I Ask myself, “Is this practical for me to make the decision of Indecision?” I realize that taking the time to make a decision is in fact a decision for indecision. This is so, in the sense that I am allowing myself to test things out, take time to sort things out...to see and investigate all considerations involved within the Focal Point of being faced with a Decision.

I commit myself to simplicity within and as my word and world here.

I realize, Life Simplicity is the Key to Me. Life Simplicity is Specificity. Specificity is Self/Life Regard.

Day 788 - Attitude

The Tune of where You are at.  It's like a status update. Attitude in it's fullest sense is a complete range of expressions....from high to low in octave...or the other way round....or any other which way for that matter.  From pleasant to scary to everything else in between.

The Gratitude of Attitude is to live Great your Attitude.  What does this in fact mean?  It means simply,  to own it.....because guess what, You are It.  Tag, each is always it....whether you like it or not.  And in the recognition of realizing that sometimes you will not like things, it is more than OK to express that disgust in a moment.  In fact it is a reality check into one's own self-honesty....a genuine point of self-intimacy.

A point of attention here is the culture of minimizing and perpetuating conflict....where it's like people love to hate conflict...yet perpetuate conflict as a means of trying to minimize it....as like,  'just let me drop the last bomb and then I'll stop'.  So much so this has become the narrative within our Words to each other, as so much so, This is a reflection of our inner narrative expressed externally.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take Conflict personally as an act of War where I either go into Defense or Offense.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to marginalize Attitude.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to disregard myself as Attitude.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself within and as a Positive Attitude.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist a Negative Attitude.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate my Best Words as a result of being possessed within and as a Positive Attitude.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Fear a Bad Attitude.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take a Bad Attitude personally.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Separate myself from the totality of Attitude.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to control my Attitude...and to Fear my Attitude getting out of control if I let go of Control over my Attitude.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Inferiorize myself within Control of Myself.

Let's Look at that last sentence here again:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to inferiorize myself within Control of Myself.

How am  I controlling myself....my attitude? Fear.  
How So? Conditioning my attitude to my wants based upon my desires which are rooted in the fact that I have knots within myself...as the things i don't want to experience as myself here...and so enter in the attitude and overall nature of Control.

I see Attitude as like the Weather, our Expression through our body from moment to moment as Our Stand here.  It is a point of Self-Confidence and Individuality. Someone who is a Self-Confident Individual, does not fear the Expression of themselves here.  This is where the enjoyment in sharing comes in.  I mean really have a look at what prevents the living of Attitude.  It is the Fear in and as Vulnerability.  Why?  Because you are exposed completely. Who, how and what you are in a moment is Here.  It is the Judgement we have conditioned to our Structured Sentencing that Fucks Ourselves into Oblivion, Because our Words have been abused like Codes we haven't taken the time to fully understand or realize.  Consequently resulting in and perpetuating our own Bullshit and a Greater World of Bullshit.  How can this Be?  It's because of our capacity to be Deceptive. We've dressed up and hidden our own Bullshit to such an extent that we Gloss over it and Misinterpret Ourselves and Others as a Result of Our Own Hiding and Fearing the Brutality of our very worst Disguise. Ironically, here lies the Design of Demise.

Day 783 - Real Time Learning/Movement is Always Here...Where Have I Been?

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create resistance and hesitance within my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand how much opportunity and support is available for me in every moment here in so many ways.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress Learning within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand my potential to Learn and for Learning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create judgements about learning particular things.....like thinking I can and cannot learn from so and so or such and and such.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself  to inferiorize my Learning and movement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand how I created stagnation within and as my learning as a result of accepting and allowing myself to Fear moving myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how synonymous Learning and Movement are.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lose sight of myself within and as Inferiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand the conditioning of inferiority as a built up resistance towards movement/participation within activities in this world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand the irony of Inferiority......where inferiority exists as a result of not physically moving oneself into a direction of self-accountability for one's acceptances and allowances in regards to a particular point....and therefore by choosing to 'not move', knot one's movement potential and response-ability...and therefore submit into the status of mind movement activity of inferiority as like creating one's own inner turmoil.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand my capacity to play and work effectively is very much directly related to my enjoyment and openness to Learning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be closed minded with regards to Learning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be self-righteous about Learning...and therfore ironically suppress my learning ability and potential.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for existing in conflict about Learning new things....where I have a resistance and hesitance to actually dare myself to move myself and play for the fun of it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress the fun within Learning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress the play within Learning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress my creativity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my creativity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself within learning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my appearance and vulnerability within learning something new.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to self-sabotage myself.

Day 780 - Awareness in Inter-Action

How Aware am I of my Every Interaction?

Are my interactions like various forms of debts I take on? Is this the very case and point, if I in fact accept and allow less than what is Best for myself as All Life here? Could it be that I am the source of myself/existence here? And, Each exists as the very same source point of Existence Here?

Is considering all as One and Equal a tough pill to swallow?

Have I conditioned myself within my behaviour and various specific types of Interactions to Suppress the Regard and Practical daily Living of the Realization and Understanding of Myself/Life as Oneness and Equality?

Do I fear Oneness and Equality?

How can I Stop the conditions of my Behaviour and various specific types of Interactions that suppress the regard and practicality of the realization and understanding of Oneness and Equality?

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist examinations of all moments/interactions/participations/behaviours where there is an energetic movement and resonance existent within me as a point of dissonance from the realization and understanding of Oneness and Equality, as the meaning and understanding that we are all one here alone as beings here and every being here is a part of team life...and all parts of team life are valid....and, energetic polarity is the fictitious facade of our mind consciousness we made a real big deal of, and is in fact a reflection of our very own self-deception that keeps ourselves...our Team Life here, divided and conquered to a certain extent,....while, ironically, “trying” to win...not realizing how we are beating ourselves up and down in the process. I realize the ridiculousness of fearing to physically hurt our mind consciousness. I realize the ridiculousness of fearing to lose our mind consciousness. I realize the ridiculousness of trying to hurt or lose our mind consciousness. I realize and understand the dichotomy of existing within a love and hate relationship of energetic extremes as the spectrum of emotion and feeling from the lowest low tonality to the highest high tonality and pitch. I realize and understand that our sound here without the taint of consciousness separation, as a polarized conflict within word relationships is in fact our true nature and the truth of ourselves here...and the irony of our suppression's and potent expressions. I realize potency in expression is in essence the simplicity ourselves here existing in and as sound....here...on point...our starting point....the end point....the point of everything.....the creation point.....Oneness and Equality.....Oneness and Equality together as One....the unity of and as our agreed upon harmony of words as our complimentary physical living actions, which are creative by the simple fact of our very existence here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to neglect and disregard the accounting / housekeeping for all of my words I share.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to neglect and disregard the accounting and housekeeping for all of my words that I have charged.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for to neglect and disregard the accounting and housekeeping for all the words that are directed to me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist taking self-responsibility for misdirection in and as the best usage of our words....where for example it is clear to me that a word is being leveraged in a very charged way. I see realize and understand that leveraging words in a very charged way require attention and specific direction and clear definition and terminology need to be established through the engagement of clarification on meaning. I see and realize myself responsibility within and as practical living Word and World regard through the daily practical living of Questions as Who, How, What, and Why of myself/Existence/Creation/Life Here. I know the “Where” Question is always a matter of Here...though for a practical point of regard in specificity in daily living Questions to my utmost potential and to make for detailed structure in story telling my Quests, I see the value in and as the inclusion of “where” within my basic Questions I practically live every day here.

I commit myself to daily practical living of the Questions, Who/what/where/why/When/How? I commit myself to being open minded to the arrangement and ordering of my basic simple Questions of: What, Where, When, How, Why, and Who? I commit myself to expanding myself within and as the Asking of Questions. I commit myself to using the basic simple questions outlined here as a basic framework and structured support system and network for networking the specificity of any particular point of investigation. I therefore realize and understand that I am capable and able to to figure out the particulars/specifics of anything and everything. I realize and understand there is a plethora of ways within and as the very nature of all ways...and that asking questions is a way to create one's life here in a way one would like to live.

I commit myself to investigate my fascination and interest within points/relationships/interactions/words.

To Be Continued

Day 778 - Cheating myself out of Life

For a long while I've been pretty loose with the rules while playing golf, where I would improve my lie (how the ball is laying on the ground...making it more forgiving),  take generous drops,  give myself putts, take mulligans, and be forgiving with out of bounds and penalty stroke rules.

I bring attention to this here....because I reflect back to playing when I was fairly young, and me and my friend were fairly competitive about posting the lowest scores we could. And what happened slowly but surely is I became forgiving on points/rules of enforcement...I mean it would be a gimme on a putt here...or a mulligan on the first hole....or like saying one mulligan per round....or saying we can fluff our ball's lies.

I've started playing golf again with a competitive spirit about scoring as best as i am possibly able to.  I am also very serious in developing my performance to an elite level.  My ability at the moment is above average.  I've come to recognize that I've tainted my best golf development over the years by being so slack with the rules.  I see this as consequential because it's like I resisted making mistakes...and when i would make mistakes i would cover them up, forgive them without really completely taking responsibility for it and learning from it, understanding the specific mechanics of my error.

In fact, i see how I have accepted and allowed myself to create emotions and feelings about my swings and scores in golf....where it's like a point of perfection or imperfection on each shot and result....so like, multiple judgement system relationships here.

I am also noticing how I don't want to continue within this type of relationship patterned behavior with regards to my relationship with golf.  I am seeing a lot of layers here that need to be fine tuned.

I am also questioning how my relationship within golf relates and reflects to other areas within my life.  To take this question to the core of myself within the perspective and consideration of personality character design and construction; What stand out to me is:  Superiority and Inferiority and the relationship with perfection and and Imperfection where these words are forms of polarized judgements.  I notice  how I write the construct down here as, "superiority and inferiority"...that i want to put superiority first as like a desire to associate myself more with superiority and how i wish to come across and be more closely associated as superior.  In writing here i can see how superiority and inferiority are words that exist within me that are closely related in a polarized way to perfection and imperfection.

I see this as a topic for me to explore more into specifics.

At this point i would like to open up self-forgiveness on points that stick out for me here:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to cheat myself at golf and at life.  I realize it is my relationship within and as how I play in regards to my thoughts, feelings and emotions that can be improved upon, as I realize and understand the way in which i have accepted and allowed myself to participate within golf has sort of perpetuated and compounded myself existing within and as a sort of ego conflict within myself where i am polarized into reacting consistently at the results/actions of myself where there is a an ongoing scoring evaluation of myself within judgement in the form of emotion and feeling, so much so related to my definitions of perfection and imperfection

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing my feelings and emotions within seeing the shame about how i have defined my feelings and emotions in relationship to perfection and imperfection.  I realize that taking a neutral approach is totally tied to keeping the inferiority and superiority character construction in tact within myself as like playing it neutral is almost like playing it cool when all is not cool within oneself....or like playing it extra chill when one is totally not experiencing them-self as super chill but wants to put on the front of being super chill.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stress myself out within taking the time to actually look at how I have accepted and allowed myself to cheat the best development of my potential within golf/life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being embarrassed and shameful to talk and share about the fact that i have existed within inferiority and superiority within myself.  I realize the inequality within accepting this type of attitude and perception about myself in regards to others here.  I realize taking on this attitude and thinking is a mistake, is consequential of existing within and as a state of mind consciousness with a polarized energetically charged vocabulary.  I commit myself to stopping this patterned behavior and walking the fine tuning of myself here as my words, where i remove the charges against myself...I re-establish the terms/definitions of my words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking it normal to fuck with oneself in reacting and creating forms of stress on the body within and as one's relationship to words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to cheat myself within my mind of thinking thoughts where i buy into the highs and lows of my feelings and emotions and allow myself to become distracted by them and influence my movement and ability to create and live my utmost potential.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to slack off on myself discipline with regards to my competitive spirit in regards to athletics and sports.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to inferiorize myself within competitions and at the same time desire superiority.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand how I have created inferiority within and as my best ability as a result of being dishonest with myself and tainting my vocabulary within and as results of perfection and imperfection.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand how so much so my life and abilities within my life are correlated with how I live words within my physical body here....that my words are my living actions and there is many ways in which i can express myself through my words.  I realize my actions are a reflection of my words.  I realize my participation within all things is a reflection of my self-development and word/world agreements.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to frustrate myself within looking at what I have accepted and allowed throughout my life that is less that my best potential.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become overwhelmed within looking at the definitions terms/words of agreements I agreed to participate within.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist taking self-responsibility for my consent within all my relationships.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear vulnerability in exposing/sharing my mistakes.

I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding the irony within fearing the vulnerability to share/expose my mistakes.  I see, realize and know the irony here as being  tragically comical because within sharing one's mistakes, one is able to assist and support others to learn lessons without having to necessarily remain within the same suppression that I was existing within.  I realize that sharing one's mistakes and the lessons learned, is in fact an act of compassion in care/regard to support another as oneself here. I see this as the practical living embodiment of self-respect, self-regard, self-nourishment, and self-development.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear sharing myself as a result of being competitive within myself from a polarized relationship of inferiority and superiority. I realize the ridiculousness of defining myself into opposition within myself through and as the confusion of my word relationships and agreements.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize the tragic comedy of energetically inferior and superior word and world relationships....where more value is given to that which is regarded as more, and less value to that which is disregarded as less....from the perspective of everything Being Life equality and oneness here...and a dissonance existing as the very design of polarized energetic resonance through and as the accepted and allowed  inferiority and superiority within and as one's word and world relationships within oneself as all Life here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define  myself in ways that are less than great.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to take self-responsibility for my less than great self-definitions here.

I realize and understand my self-responsibility for myself-definitions here...and that my relationships within and as words is key to myself living for real in physical reality here.

I commit myself to self-improvement through and as self-responsibility in and as my practical every day living and usage of words.

I commit myself to share my process of self-realization and understanding.

I commit myself to humbleness within vulnerability as i see myself within and as the mistakes I make.  I commit myself to being efficient and effective at learning from my mistakes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to pad my stats within and as my results within activities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fuck with my legitimacy, integrity and resolve.

I commit myself to practically living the words Legitimacy, Integrity, and Resolve as points of self-commitment in walking through my mistakes as learning lessons...and to learn as effectively and efficiently as possible within walking through learning lessons.  I commit myself to being open and vulnerable within and as I walk my process journey to Life.

I commit myself to accountability and integrity within and as my thoughts/words/deeds. 

I commit myself to practically living the word Ownership in regard to self-accountability and self-responsibility as points of practically living the best care taking.

Day 777 - The Ink in my Thinking as Personified Television - Channel Surfing (2)

I've come to notice that my everyday movement within actually doing things is tainted to an extent with the amount of time i spend within my mind thinking about things.  It's not that I don't do anything, it's that I've come to recognize that I would like to stop needlessly flipping the channels.

What I mean by 'flipping the channels', is just kind of going down the rabbit hole in thought....where it's like you can go on endlessly man.

Also, I really enjoy physical activity, and channel surfing....moving in the mind is like as far away as it gets from Legit physical activty..  I mean moving in the mind is connected to physical activity, because the body and mind are connected, but it's more of a reactionary response.

What is the experience of flipping channels...moving through thoughts?

Looking for more.

Why does this happen?

The more attention/energy you give to it, the more you create your own momentum....a sort of mind momentum.

How do I stop myself from the momentum of my mind movement and addiction to channel surfing?

-One breath at a time.
-The breath is the best way to slow oneself down and stop mind/energetic movement within the body.
-Self-forgiveness is a tried tested and true tool that works in the deconstruction of the specifics of layered physical body mind energy constructions.
-It's all about our words
-Purifying our vocabulary, (cleaning the pollution out of the water that exists within ourselves as our memories....as water is the holder of sound....and when our words are glossed in various shades of energetic coating, as like degrees of separation and disconnection from the source of ourselves as all life here...we are marginalizing our effectiveness within our everyday lives.)
-Fine tuning and specifying our Living Words.
-The Who/How/What am I Doing Here Questions to support Directions as our practical living Words as our Instructions and Expressions.


It's comical to actually look and not do what it is you would like to do.  You know, to keep looking at what it is you would like and not do it.   Like to obsessively look without really checking out the points of interest for real, as like to actually move within the points to actually make a further deduction, experiment, discovery. Our creation potential is within and as our ability to look and do....to play and work with what is here....it's like our looking is the way in which we read information....and our action is a reflection of how we put our information into application.

Whether we like it or not...which is a form of irony in and of itself.....we are all great composers....Life is a musical of sorts and we are always composing shit.  Shit gets complicated when when we misinform ourselves about our shit....like for instance, being deceptive about the quality of our Information....the integrity of our Relationships here. And to look at the matters simply here, Is simply a matter of Word Regard...and Everyone coming to terms...So all Our Information here is a balanced Sound Equation rooted in common Sense...you know,.....kind of like a piano, in that each sound/key is specifically what it is.  A sound structured alignment.  In-Tune.

Day 775 - In Fear You're It

 




Inferiority - In fear you are it. You are it in fear. Inferior I tied to the why of the fear I fear. Inferior it is why. A less than experience and acceptance and allowance.  Often masked and projected externally as superiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize how I have existed as the Inferiority character construction within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not even believe it possible that I could exist within and as the point of Inferiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my very own inferiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide and deny acknowledging points/moments/reactions within and as Inferiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to regard inferiority as such a bad thing, like one of the worst things a person could be.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that inferiority is a choice and a decision so much so and that if you are ever faced within and as the point of inferiority, you should hide it by presenting a false front, lie and deny it, as a way to not accept it within yourself.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realizes how I created coping defense mechanisms within my mind as ways to 'survive' within and as the moments of inferiority. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing how recognition of moments of inferiority is a great point of strength in seeing how and where you are not measuring up to par within and as a point/application/ability.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having made inferiority a perpetuated weakness within myself, by being afraid to admit points of inadequacy within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to regard inferiority as wrong.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to understand and really know inferiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating a preference towards hiding from my inferiority within and as the outward projection of superiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compound the existence of inferiority within myself as a result of believing myself to be high, mighty and powerful within the character reaction of superiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create abuse within myself internally and externally as a result of fearing to face myself within the full spectrum of polarized characterizations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing how I constructed a primary character throughout my life as Inferiority who reacts in fear and projects superiority as a coverup job and operation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live a lie as my very own self-deception and self-manipulation as the reactionary inferiority character that created and energetic addiction towards channeling a high and might experience within myself as my energetic release for the built of layers of shit that I would compound within myself as my mind activity here in defense and conflict with myself and world as everyone here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing the extent and scope to which I created clever coping mechanisms to induce a positive energy high experience and escape for myself as a result of fearing to get real with myself and acknowledge/face/know/understand my weakness as Inferiority and Inadequacy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to associate vulnerability and sensitivity to being undesirable forms of weakness connected to inferiority and that it is my choice to disregard and deny the reality of these words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to construct myself in and as inferiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing my potential as a result of fearing to get real.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be on the run from myself...as like constantly being on the move within fear as my accepted and allowed mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating all sort of beautiful words and ideas and concepts as various ways of my word patterned communications to perpetuate a false front....a false flag operation..a lie, a veil, a misrepresentation of the actuality of what I am accepting and allowing within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have thought that is what you are suppose to do with points of inferiority and any other sort of weakness that comes up within one's mind and body experience here...as to make something up that you like better.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realizing and understanding how to substantiate my vocabulary effectively as a structurally sound foundation within myself, as the words existing within me here in and as equality and oneness, from the perspective that words are innocent and do not require me to make up charges held against the words as them being polarized within the scope of positive, neutral and negative energies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to support a world of impotence, as a sort of powerlessness that is governed and controlled, ruled through and as my accepted and allowed fear...a sort of self-inflicted spitefulness as the lack of understanding of what Inferiority in fact means.

I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding the sense of irony existed within and as word and world relationships here, within and as our oneness and equality, as that is the one point always here...our oneness and equality...and the irony of course is within and as our self-definition as how we imprison our very cells here at a resonant level as the scope of the entirety of ourselves as all of existence within and as our sound.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that my potential to exist here as sound, has been suppressed, that I have been existing here within and as a sort of noise, a derivative of sound, a less than experience...the epitome of inferiority...rooted in and as self-abuse, being in conflict with myself and not even realizing how I am in fact perpetuating and prolonging a war within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize the propaganda I would create in and as various forms of reaction/fear of myself being here within and as a point of reaction....where I would then create a disinformation agenda to quickly move into another character to hide the scope of the truth of myself, which has been the very initial reaction/fear within myself, as fear it self.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear fear itself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a battle/conflict of epic proportions with Fear...believing Fear to be the ultimate enemy and point of separation that I must fight against as the very quick moving reactionary defense systems within my mind.  I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding how extensively I have been on the attack and the defense at the same time...the complete reflection of and as the military war machine here in all ways, penetrating the totality of my existence here.


When and as I see myself reacting in Inferiority/inadequacy, I stop and breathe, I take a moment to correctly identify the specifics of my reactionary defense/weakness.  I realize this is a weakness that requires specific self-correction because it is being revealed to me in my mind as a form of military defense and offense upon myself and all of existence here.  I realize it is my self-responsibility to come to terms within myself as a removing myself from the field of battle, where I release myself from participation within and as the enemy construct here. I see, realize and understand the solution of myself here at peace with all of existence as a point of agreement within and as my word relationships here, where I in fact am at ease with my word and world relationships here, where I mean no offense or defense.  I commit myself to the process of settling the terms of negotiation within myself as the vocabulary that exists within myself as a form of energetic dissonance.  I realize and understand the process of self-transformation as the self-direction of my existence within and as energetic information, to that of physical sound substance here as the physical universe here.  I realize, understand, and know the process of status correction here to be a labored physical process of nurturing myself back together again, from disharmony and disease to harmony here as the sound of music at ease.  I realize the substance of self-expression here is in fact our sound.  I commit myself to birthing myself as sound/life here.