Day 776 - The Ink in my Thinking as Personified Television

 



Thinking is something i have given much credence to.  I have placed so much value in thinking that it has been to my own detriment.  I'd like to make a distinction here between 'thinking' and 'looking', where thinking is a sort of random behavior without direction that we give attention to as like thoughts, things just pop up within our mind and as we give attention to it our mind continues to move and build momentum and increase it's activity production output as going deeper and deeper.  Where as 'Looking' is a self directed point of seeing into something that will often stem from a form of questioning. the question may be direct or indirectly asked within oneself as a sort of examination like process within getting to know/investigate a particular point.

For myself, i can see i have very much allowed myself to blur the lines between self-directed 'looking' and 'thinking'....where the looking and the thinking can be very much regarded as the same thing....but also within the mix is the random reactionary thought that i have gotten into the patterned habit of examining, where it's like I stop what i am solely focused on and begin a sort of juggling act by giving a certain amount of attention to this 'new thought application'.  This 'thought application' is like a random virus in the sense that my connection to it is emotional/feeling based where it typical starts off with a very small charge/pulse about it....and i form a specific impression as a 'new thought/feeling-emotion/action-reaction' and from there do a sort of spiral inward into layering the point, where it's like a sort of zap/zing suppression that is kind of like lightening in a bottle in that it is is so intense yet small yet quick, yet powerful.

Fortunately I have the tools to sort out....self-correct such conditioned behavior.

Why would I want to correct such behavior / application within myself?
What's the point?

The point is Specificity and Accountability.  Meaning, to live and create the best version of myself here.

To elaborate,  My expression and ability to perform tasks to the best of my abilities is tainted within allowing myself to be very much 'distracted/possessed' within my own Thinking.

I have seen first hand how much my mobility is limited/halted within allowing myself to drift/wander/watch my thoughts brew about a particular topic.  For example, In tree planting...a job i have done for many years, my ability to move/flow with effortless efficiency is in direct correlation with presence/thoughtlessness of the moment, where i am so committed to my physical movement and am just so here within the expression of me moving, that there is no room for any other activity, nor need.   However...sometimes i would allow myself to be preoccupied with points of thought/ideas while moving/tree-planting...and the longer i allowed myself to focus on the thinking while moving/working, the more my performance suffered as tree-planting effortless efficiency, meaning my ability to plant a tree quickly slowed down...sometimes this slowing down in movement was only a fraction of a second, and sometimes it was more.  Ironically, I was typically more exhausted at the end of a tree-planting day when i had planted fewer trees and thought more.


To be Continued

Day 752 - Consistency and Moderation

Moderation:  Is the process of eliminating or lessening extremes. It is used to to ensure normality throughout the medium on which it is being conducted.

Being within reasonable limits; not excessive or extreme

The state or an instance of being moderate; mildness; balance

The act of moderating

The quality of being moderate; restraint; temperance

Ensuring consistency and accuracy in the marking of student assessments.

A way of life emphasizing perfect amounts of Everything, not indulging too much in one thing, hence moderation.



Consistency: A degree of density, firmness, viscosity, etc...

Steadfast adherence to the same principles, form, course, etc...

Agreement, Harmony, or Compatibility. especially Correspondence or Uniformity of the parts of a complex thing.

The condition of Cohering or holding together and retaining form; solidity or firmness

Agreement or accordance with facts, form, or characteristics previously shown or stated.




To be Continued as I showcase the complimentary practical living support existent within and as Consistency and Moderation.

Stay tuned

Day 651 Laser Like Focus

Doing something exceptionally well requires a total commitment of Self within and as the specific participation, there is no room for compromise within one's mind because even giving a split second thought about something other than what one is immersed within creates a divide within effectiveness in action because then there is multiple points of division/immersion and so one's attention and focus is split.

I learned this point exceptionally well within the act of tree planting.

I have not yet mastered this point within my every moment of day to day participations.

I will master this point of total commitment within and as my commitment to my physical participation and self expressive movement as myself here in every moment.


Now for a little story;

Today I was talking on the phone to my girlfriend and I noticed how I was not giving my total attention to the conversation I was having with her....my attention was diverted within thoughts about different things I was allowing to linger within my mind.

It's totally ridiculous to allow oneself to drift in thought.

Consequently, I was not particularly enjoying myself drifting in though about various things that I had not sorted out and I was not particularly enjoying communicating with my girlfriend within such a limited self-induced manner.

When I would be tree planting and I would allow my mind to wonder...my overall skill level would diminish and in many instances I would have a trip and fall or a stumble or bang myself with my shovel....and prolonged involvement within wondering aimlessly within trains of thought would result in me feeling sluggish and being highly unproductive and very inefficient with my time management.

I learned it is much easier and simpler for me to take a breath and forgive the thought and energy that comes up when and as I am introduced to a point that surfaces within my mind...and in doing this, I found that I making the commitment and statement to not allow and enable distractions within and as my physical participation here. What results from this, is, self-enjoyment within and as my physical movement, exercising my potential and the expansion of my full potential, exceptional time management, masterful efficiency, strength, seemingly effortless flow as movement being expressed in perfect harmony here.


So, I ask myself the question now: "If I realize and understand my potential to exist here within and as the awesomeness that I see and realize that I in fact am, why would I ever dare to limit myself from exercising the living of my greatness here?"

To justify in any capacity the withholding of most excellent living potential here is a disgraceful disservice to all of existence here.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have justified the withholding of my most excellent living potential here within and as a result of choosing to divert my attention away from and as my participation in physical reality by engaging in various streams of thought without specific direction and self-correction.

I see, realize and understand how to immediately direct my thoughts as a point of self-responsibility within and as the sounding of self-forgiveness as soon as the thought takes shape within my mind.

I see, realize and understand how thoughts/feelings/emotions are like energetic weather patterns within myself that are kind of like clouds in nature from and as the perspective that when left unattended and without direction and or correction...my mind becomes cloudy and or hazy which results in and as an experience of overwhelmingness where there is such a build up that a storm seems inevitable because there is so much cloud seeding that has taken place....and here also is where the lightning takes place as almost anything and everything within my physical environment then becomes a reality check trigger as like a form of electro shock therapy in terms of wanting to just get away from it all and see anything and everything within my environment from a starting point of blame / cognitive dissonance / justification / abdication of self-responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the severity of self-inflicted impairment/dissonance I create withing myself as a result of abdicating and neglecting my commitment to direct and correct my thoughts/feelings/emotions within every moment of my physical living participation here.

I commit myself to embracing the living of my full potential here.

I commit myself to embracing my awesomeness in all ways awesome.

I commit myself to living exceptionally well.

I commit myself to sounding self-forgiveness and self-corrective applications as my sound here.
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When and as I see my attention being diverted in thought, taking me out of physical reality, I stop and breathe, grounding myself here and I forgive my thought and I let it go.

When and as I see myself having a conversation where I am not totally present within my participation because I am preoccupied within other thoughts, I stop and breathe, forgive myself and look to see what is best for me to do within and as the starting point of practical living "Self Responsibility"

Day 623 Information Assessment

When and as I see myself looking at information where I have a particular formed relationship connection/impression, I stop and breathe, I say, "I am here", I see/realize/understand the impracticality of taking personally the information I am examining/investigating. I see/realize/understand how forming a reaction to a point/question of self-realization is ridiculously absurd. I see/realize/understand how I can in fact look at information within myself without being consumed/possessed/influenced by the information within myself. I commit myself to rigorously self-investigating myself here as something I am passionate about. I commit myself self-enjoyment within the process of self-reflection and self-correction. 

When and as I see myself going into the particular energy that is associated with the information that I am looking at that exists within my mind, I stop and breathe, I say, "I am here", I direct myself to respond in a way where I give myself the best support and assistance in changing my ingrained acceptances and allowances. I commit myself to changing my acceptances and allowances that are not in alignment with what is best for all Life here. I commit myself to operating/existing/expressing from within the starting point of and as what is best for all Life here.

I commit myself to becoming more and more specific within and as my process of self-investigation.

I commit myself to Specificity within my communication...and I commit myself to Specificity within and as my Journey to Life.

I commit myself to developing Specificity as a Cool point of and as Self-Expression.

Day 501 Cell Phone Obsession

So lately I've noticed how I have been in the habit of quite religiously checking my phone for messages and emails. Like often I would do this before I get going on a particular priority/task/obligation that I am about to begin focusing on. What I noticed within myself is that this meticulously checking of my phone for new information has come from within a starting point of distraction and interference.  Like, I've accepted and allowed myself to look for distractions from getting right into commitments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for looking for distractions within my day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for compromising my living daily priorities within the starting point of looking for distractions as possible escapes from daily priorities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thirsting for new information to distract me and keep me entertained for a moment as like a way for me to just put off physically moving myself within priorities/commitments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding how it is unnecessary for me to be meticulously checking my phone for updates, emails, and messages...that for the most part I am not missing out on anything and that by giving myself a specific allocation of time to check these things...I do not have to be constantly thinking about checking these things...and I see that I can be more effective in managing my time and priorities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to miss out on the newest information.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing consequence of not being up to date on the latest news and information.

I forgive myself for obsessing over receiving information.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating a habit out of constantly checking my phone throughout the day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging myself for constantly checking my phone.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to receive new messages on my phone.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding how much time I utilize within the day just kind of messing around on my phone, because I started looking at my phone from a a starting point of looking for a distraction/escape from getting started on a particular priority committed responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for compromising myself within daily living priorities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying resistances within myself.


When and as I see myself looking for a distraction/escape from a particular priority/obligation/responsibility/commitment, I stop and breathe, I physically move myself into action/participation into and as the point I resisted going into.  I commit myself to focusing on the task at hand. I realise and understand that the resistance that comes up is like a form of interference that is created in my mind and is not not valid reasoning for me to not participate within physical decision to perform specific task.

When and as I see myself thinking that I should just look at my phone before I begin something, I stop and breath, I direct myself to let go of the point of checking my phone before I begin doing something. I get started within the particular point of focused attention.  I realise and understand the practicality of focused attention.

When and as I see myself wondering if someone left a message, I stop and breathe, I stay focused on the physical task I am engaged within, I realise thoughts that just pop up in a moment within my mind are a distraction to my physical participation here, and that I do not jump on trains of thought.

When and as I experience myself desiring to check my phone, I stop and breathe, I realise this desire coming up within me as a point of distraction from what I am physically participating within in the moment, and that the phone point is an escape/distraction presented to me by my mind.

I commit myself to stop indulging in distractions/interference's within my mind.

I commit myself to stop meticulously checking my phone for messages.

I commit myself to stop using my phone as a point of escape/distraction for physical movement priorities/responsibilities/tasks/obligations.

I commit myself to staying focused within physical movement priorities.

I commit myself to stop looking to escape physical movement responsibilities/priorities within my day by entertaining thoughts of distraction/escape.