Day 762- The Psychology of My Inhumanity in Regards to Christmas

 


Christmas has some pretty cool points about it:

Time with family and friends.

Sharing in activities...from preparing meals...to more recreational and leisurely activities.

Getting and Giving cool material things. The present swapping.

A sense of jovial regard for those in your environment...the well wishing of Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays...to everyone you encounter.


Some considerations about the above points:

These are timeless things...like sort of practical for having the best life here.  And let me be frank, it's not that the well wishing has to be of a merry Christmas....but the general regard of well wishing and being merry towards one another is cool.

The getting and giving of material things. This is cool. Lots of cool things exist. This is also a practical point of regular occurrence...meaning we regularly need things...and we also want things. so making a point of getting what we need and want is cool. Though i think the setup behind it with Christmas is kind of dumb,,,because to me the getting and giving is to be an all the time type thing...as like just one of the practical points within daily existence on planet earth. I mean it is not necessarily the most practical flow of movement on the planet for everyone to bee seeking/needing/wanting the same shit all the time. ( there's a lot of dimensions to consider within the seeking/needing/wanting of things point)  The attention i bring focus to about it....is that it is a sort of manufactured holiday in which the majority populace of the western world has consented to...and it's rooted in capitalistic materialism.  The War of this World in many ways.  It's is the Have's vs the Have knots.  The best celebrations of the holidays are by those that Have Money...the Shittiest celebration of the Holidays are by those who do not have money.

There is a a lot of arguably shitty decorations that are created about the holidays....most of all the shit that is created for the holidays is made by people in 3rd world countries who don't really have holiday's.  The symbolism behind what such events represent is really tragic when you consider how exclusive the Giving and Getting of Christmas is.  It's like a blunt reminder of the realms of disgrace that exist here as human relationships throughout the world.

So, there is a lot of shit in regard to Christmas...there is cool shit too at the surface...as like the on the surface fun to be had...as like the result of being a genetic lottery winner in this world....as like being better off than others within this world....and the peer pressure to participate in the elitist celebration because there is much good cheer about it...lots of desires/addictions to be served as like ok and cool...because it is popular holiday time.
So it's like, ya i like getting stuff...sure i would like to receive all the things that can be given to me....sure i will eat all that delicious food....sure i will have some laughs with family and friends....sure i will go to that christmas party...sounds like it will be fun....sure i will play some christmas games with you guys....sure, i willl bring a xmas dish over to the party....sure i will participate in the gift giving exchange.....sure.....

It's like all this good shit on offer....why wouldnt i want to particpate within it? 

Why would I want to question the whole orchestration of just going allowing with the popular movements?

Why would I question a good thing?

Why would I want to not have this christmas holiday when there is all these things that benefit my self interest...and make me feel good....and are sort of nostalgic to my early child hood memories.

I mean, it's too bad that things suck for many other people....but it would really suck if i didnt have all the luxuries that i have...and so I mean it doesnt really feel good to think about such things...and it's easy to dismiss shit that i don't like, because it gets in the way of the things that i do like.

I mean, why should i have to be the one who really cares or gives a shit...or challenges the acceptances and allowances of things here....when seemingly like everyone around me doesn't really give a shit about doing the same....maybe i will just procrastinate on the points of regard just a little longer...because no one else seems to notice... I mean everyone else around me is wanting to play this game we are allowing here... I mean why not just a little longer go along with this bullshit...Wait? did i just say bullshit?...that must have been a mistake in my vocabulary....because i love Christmas!  It's one of my favorite time's of year...as like the polarization of the year into monumental events...like Christmas being the end of the year big orgasm and capitalistic orgy...the work I slaved away within all year...as being a better paid slave than the many third world slaves...and even winning more money than many of the slaves within the 1st world....I am better than other people because I made more money....and at the same time, I can tell myself that money doesn't matter....that money is not really important here....but it really is in so many of ways...i mean the capacity for a quality life is so much so related to money....but hey...Christmas is a time of Giving/Celebrating...and so i even give a few bucks to charity...you know...because this is the time to be in the spirit of giving....you know, and it makes me feel righteously important like i am a good member of society that is helping to make the world a better place for those that are unfortunate.  Fortunately i am fortunate enough to not have to rely on the charity of the righteously fortunate. I mean it a result of my skill really....people who have things and fortune in this world are truly just more deserving and better than those without such things. I mean, these are the real survivors here....like the winners who would come up winning even if there starting point situation was shittier....it's unfortunate that there is so many losers in this world....but that's just the way things are...and Hey...Somebody has got to be the Best...or close to the Best...so ya...there is the winning team and the losing team....and the player in between that flip flopping between the winning team and the losing team...and so the rosters are not set in stone for most....because most are just not good enough and deserving of real greatness....But hey...that's just the way things are...and well...I am Lucky.


Note:  I have glossed in some strong statements of ridiculousness, that are in fact sarcastic in nature...yet at the same time...this sarcasm is a sort of tragic comedy because it reflects the dark nature of our collective humanity here.

I challenge you to check yourself to see if your found any of my words/statements to be offensive?  I question you to examine the scope of the offense?

Please do Share,  After all, this is the season of Giving!

Merry Christmas!

Day 700 - Fortitude of Purpose

Purpose.

Fortitude.


Purpose plus fortitude is a formula strong in nature. I see purpose and fortitude together as one and equal as the infusion of Life all ways always in and as the movement of self here.

The question has come to my attention, "If you lack purpose, do you in fact lack quality of Life?"

"What is the fortitude of purpose?"

"Does having any purpose guarantee a high quality of life....or is there a certain fortitude required in order to insure creation of a high quality Life?"

"Is life meant to be high quality,,,and is it in fact a point of becoming aware of our fortitude of purpose...as like it's in us to give...as a result of what has been given to us?"



At different times in my life I have briefly reflected on what it is I want to do with my life. Interestingly enough, every time I had asked myself such a question and or reflected about such a question...my thinking was in an absolute sense...and I often had difficulty with this...the commitment aspect of making a decision that I felt I would be bound to once in fact I made it....and what was interesting is that it's like I've been looking for sometime throughout my life as something I can give to myself as a responsibility to walk indefinitely...a Purpose of Fortitude of You will as the Meaning I give to my Life Living daily application and expression of myself here.

Now, what has been peculiar within my process of self-reflection throughout the years is that I have allowed myself to get distracted and preoccupied with things. And in this doing, kind of allowed a procrastination to ensue about activating fully the Fortitude of Purpose I wish to give to myself.

Entertainment has been my primary source of distraction from and as the development of and as my self willed purpose of fortitude. Ironically enough, I have seeked  a plethora of avenues within entertainment as a means to finding what it is I would like to find...and that ultimately being my self-expression. What do I mean by my self-expression? Many many many things. Looking for substantial greatness in all things....Ironically this thirst for greatness in various modes of entertainment has been a result of holding myself back as great entertainer.

It's interesting, my writing here...because even as have just written the above paragraph...I faced immediate reaction, where, specifically I turned away and did not even want to look at the words I have written. Me a great entertainer? But why? Why is this I see as a point worthy of my attention...and to such an extent where I can claim a fortitude of purpose?

I see tremendous value in Education. This is a rather obvious point for many I am sure...in that most would agree with the tremendous value within and as Education.  I mean education is a point where really, I think everyone can agree upon the importance in and as it's value. I see Entertainment as a a medium of Education. Within this, I see that there is great responsibility in standing as an entertainer within this world....because not only is one providing entertainment as a point of fun to be had....but first and foremost the entertainer is an educator...a teacher.

I have been looking to lots of teacher's in this world....lots of entertainers to be what I think they can be...and this is not fair to any of them....for in this regard...I have placed expectations on others as separate from myself to be operating and performing of a high quality particular standard of greatness that I have not even consistently held myself accountable to. In a way...I have been afraid to actually commit myself to the fortitude of purpose....as like actually existing here as the strength of character that does not give up or bow down to anyone. This is not to say that I must be fighting or welcoming to conflict...but at the same time being open to dancing with conflict that I am presented with...you know...in a way like a ninja master....where the problems/issues are directed into and as solutions.

The irony of course within everything is myself.  So often I have reflected outwards about irony as a seemingly separate entanglement that only loosely relates back to me and is not really knotted deeply in attachment to my particular acceptances and allowances. This perception being a scapegoat defense mechanism where I ultimately excused the deep seated self-reflection required in really getting to the origins of myself here as who and what I am really all about.  It's fascinating to examine the conspiracies of my acceptances and allowances if you will. I sure each and everyone can relate to the conspiracies within and as our very acceptances and allowances...as this is an area that can be easily dismissed from the giving patience and time as the necessary ingredients required to actually look at the story of self here...and the questioning of Fortitude of Purpose.

Anytime I would come across something that would reveal a depth of character....or be rich in substance...I would yearn for more and more exposure to such things....whether it be a show or production, a book, a person, a sport,...it's like all the while...I was always missing the core of myself within and as it....where full appreciation was not quite grasped...because I don't think I have ever really fully appreciated myself to the fullest extent of and as the meaning of appreciation. Reflecting back on my various modes enthrallment from the perspective of entertainment interests...my satisfaction and thirst for more was never ending...and within this...the reflection to me is clear on the point of enjoyment...self-enjoyment....where it is an alone and together thing....where it's a shared thing between two or more.

I am reminded of the court jester....the joker if you will...as the comedic relief to the absurd ridiculousness of aristocracy and monarchy. Within and as such a position...the joker is like the master educator...world teacher in a sense...where his immunity is granted for him alone because of his chosen profession...and the reasoning that this is the joker...and no matter how serious the reflection may be...this is the court jester...the joker...who is permitted...authorized to ridicule the ridiculousness of the accepted and allowed crown rule.  I think of this in terms relatable to stand up comedy and movie and television entertainment. Where there is potential within such a position to me an intermediary role player bridging the gaps of dissonance with common sense critique. Exposing the absurd ridiculousness in absurdly ridiculous ways with cleverly creative points of comparison and association...making a mockery of a mockery while at the same time, giving the antidote...the formula....the recipe....the solution as to how the absurd ridiculousness can be solved...as being no longer relevant and therefore remedied,,,because after having the aha moment of a laugh and seeing for real...it is clear...crystal clear like water...the perfect solution as the how to do....I get it, I got it...I  do it...I am doing it attitude that is contagious in and as itself being a point that is addictively spread as the messages worth repeating.

What's interesting within as a my moments of reflection here is...that I as each I is the gate keeper of I...for it is for I...and I for an I that make everything to I...as to grant to I...is to for real be to I...as Realized...as aha...yes...I see it is all to and for I...as to and from I ...as the perfect relationship...I Give and Get Given here for it is the Gift of me/you/life here.
Meaning the play is in and as our permission authority to play...as like will allow ourselves to play...will we ask others to play....will we show others how to play...will we talk about our play...and to such a point where our work can become the play..in such a way where the play is a work in progress..as like a continued play day...play date that can stand the testaments of time as like...yes playing and working with what is here will stand the testaments of time...in and as the way to educate and entertain effectively....because education and entertainment together as a point of enjoyment shared between two or more is something rather harmoniously marvelous as the simplistic euphoria of the warmth of touch. This is life awareness here. This is who I am ....this is who we are. This is what I am about. This is how I choose to express and share the expression/creation of myself here.

,...it seems daunting and far to easy to actually be the way forward here...that trauma and suffering is not actually required...that simplicity is key in self exploration and creation. That really we can have a lot of fun in creating our fortitude of purpose and within this enacting a self-responsibility that will insure the future well being for generations to come as the knowing that this is substantial support that is fostering the facilitation of greatness in all ways always. It's important to note that obviously this enactment of purposeful living of and as self-responsibility will be a challenge in and of itself...because I realize I have been conditioned to operate in a way that is less than beneficial to all life here....so in breaking the restraints of my conditioned limitations may in fact very well be somewhat traumatically challenging....though I see here...the way in which I remove the layers of deception from myself as being related to me and my investigative digging...meaning that my willingness to pull off the layers of my deceit self-willing will be a challenge yes...but far less traumatic if I avoid doing so and therefore require to only realize through the consequence of my programmed planning conditioning playing out.

To be Continued