Day 636 Relation Dynamics

Day by Day I am really beginning to appreciate all the moments of sharing that happen throughout the day. What I am realizing and understanding is how many moments are present to fully appreciate as a result of being here in myphysical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having disregarded the simplicity of physical participation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how small adjustments makes huge improvements.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the amount of assistance and support I receive in my environment is always in fact equal to that which I in fact give to myself....actually...it's like the more I support myself, the more and more and more support and assistance that is available to me from those I share my environment with.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I am receiving assistance and support when I am giving assistance and support.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding myself within Everything Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for participating within excuses and justifications that distract me from connecting/sharing/seeing a moment of support and assistance that is presented to me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for obsessing about the differences within people,...and within this not realizing and understanding the moments of self-reflection that are being presented to me here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to neglect the similarities that exist here within people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get lost within fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the nature of my existence here as like a holographic self-reflection.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for perpetuating inequality within and as our shared reality here as a result of accepting and allowing myself to exist within and as a fearful/survival mind set....of winners and losers.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I suppressed my abilities to effectively express myself as Who I really am within and as I harbored tidbits of self-righteous/Inferior Judgments/comparisons about others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting the practical living support within and as the words "solidarity" and "camaraderie".

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having feared to stand together with and as all of humanity here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to stand in front of the group as like a part of the circle as All as One and Equal Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for arguing/fighting with myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how dependent I became upon fighting within myself as a source of my attention.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have existed in separation from all of existence as a result of my fears of expressing myself here from moment to moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the absurdity of my relationship dynamics existing from within and as the depths of fear/survival...where and as suppressing self-expression makes sense and is justified within and as the self-deception of believing that I am right in my action/behavior.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how the ability to self-express myself here exists beyond the morality judgement of right and wrong.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having logically reasoned to make sense of my actions from and as a poverty/slave-master mind-set where my actions believable and justified.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing the on going and continuous commitment of moment to moment management and application where I am existing in real time physical reality and I stand as the epitome of responsibility...as I exhibit extraordinary ability to respond in the moment within and as the awesomeness of myself-expression here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having feared to risk self-expressing myself within particular moments...out of fear that I will be judged/not well regarded....I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding how within these particular moments I was in fact revealing to myself that I was in fact judging myself with low-regard and lack of self-worth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having disregarded myself within the realms of self-judgement...as like a justified self-induced separation from and as myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for pulling and pushing myself apart.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I pushed and pulled a part the relationships in my immediate environment as a direct reflection of and as how I was pushing and pulling myself a part, within and as attempts to escape my acceptances and allowances....without self-forgiving my opinions about myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how much I learn from and as communication.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent of my communication as a basic reflection and example of and as my ability to self-express myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for censoring communication out of fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how my communication has primarily existed within and as the starting point of fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing it is necessary to fear communicating.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for doubting my decisions when the decisions I make conflict with the general attitudes and directions of my environment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding my tremendous ability to relate points to one another as like having a great ability to forge bonds/connections here by illustrating the similarities within a point that is often missed when the focal point is to look at the separation existent. I see/realize and understand how to in fact remove the separation and strengthen the building of connections here that are best for life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the answers and solutions existing here as Our Physical Self-Reflection of and as Our Image and Likeness here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for over complicating the simplicity of things.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying and reasoning the need and a fascination to obsess and possess myself about and within relationships that I desire.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the mindfuck within obsessing over a particular point...as like how within and as this obsession...there is in fact a justification that is not seen/realized...as the obsession veils the justification.

When and as I see myself experiencing myself to be stuck within a point...as like a reluctance to move myself out of the point, I stop and breathe, I see/realize/understand that by beginning with a small adjustment,...that this is in fact the pivotal movement within and as self-direction/self-movement here as unconditional assistance and support.

I commit myself to the pivotal movement within and as self-direction/self-movement.

I commit myself to stop fearing to express myself in moments when and as I see I am faced with a point of suppression/fear/judgement/doubt/worry/justification.

When and as I see myself complicating things within my mind as a result of obsessing within thought, I stop and breathe..as I see/realize and understand this small adjustment is a pivotal point in changing my course of direction from self-suppression to self-expression.

I commit myself the the self-forgiveness and self-corrective application process in moment to moment application/self-expression of myself here.

I commit myself to removing all the manifested separation that exists within my mind.

Day 619 Waiting for the Right Moment

So, this evening I found myself waiting and looking for the right moment to begin writing my blog. this was a ridiculously absurd notion...as like the point was here...and it's like I was wanting a particular energy to direct me...and...momentarily I was allowing this waiting and searching for the right energy to influence me...as like I had this attitude of I don't feel like doing this writing here now...and I mean it's kind of funny because I always do enjoy very much writing here...so it's kind of ridiculous and absurd to see how I can stew within a thought/feeling/emotion/energy even for a moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting my moment to moment management even for a moment.

When and as I see myself neglecting to manage my moment here as what is best for all Life as my self-expression in and as self-responsibility and self-awareness here, I stop and breathe, I say,"I am here",,,I move myself into self-directive action and allow myself to practically live self-responsibility in taking care of myself here. I see/realize/understand that as I take care of myself from within and as the point of giving myself the best support and assistance, I develop and expand self-intimacy here which makes me better prepared to assist and support another as myself. I commit myself to assisting and supporting myself from moment to moment as a point of moment management from within and as the starting point of and as what is best for all Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying the strain and tension within delaying self-responsibility within a moment of seeing the point that requires self-direction.

When and as I see a point that requires self-direction, I stop and breathe, I say, "I am here" I direct myself to do what is best within the moment as a point of self-honesty and self-trust. I see/realize/understand self-honesty and self-trust to be a in the moment practical living/working self-application that is based in and as the physical common sense here within and as the moment. I commit myself to self-honesty and self-trust within and as the moment of physical awareness here. I commit myself to and as self-direction as what is best for all Life. I commit myself to stop justifying strain and tension as a result of delaying self-responsibility within a moment of seeing the point that requires self-direction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging the moments as the right time or the wrong time. 

When and as I see myself judging time, I stop and breathe, I say, "I am here"...I see and realize the absurd ridiculousness of judging my time. I see/realize/understand the absurd ridiculousness of getting lost within the judgement of time. I commit myself to stop jeopardizing myself here within judging time.

Day 602 Conflict of Interest

I find the point of "conflict of interest" to be a ridiculously absurd scenario that is far too regularized within society.

Here is why:

I see that "Interesting" comes from Interest and so I relate the point of "conflict of interest" to that of "Conflict of Stimulation"...Meaning that it is Obviously All about being Stimulated....and being Stimulated particularly in the right way...you know the right kind of stimulation....which is an interesting thing within and of itself, because getting rubbed the wrong way is stimulation too.

So, 

I notice, "Conflict of Interest" to be about unfavorable masturbation....I mean getting rubbed the wrong way.

What the fuck is unfavorable masturbation?

Unfavorable masturbation I see as having 2 main outflows:

1)Mental masturbation: getting worked-up/stimulated emotionally about something. To put it bluntly, being triggered and reacting to some dumb ass bull shit

The irony is that all forms of mental masturbation are self induced. And being triggered by some sophisticated clever intellectual shit is one and the same as reacting to some dumb as bull shit.

I see that this is a consequence of being addicted to fucking with yourself to such an extent that you believe you can't have the good fucking without the bad fucking.

What a stupid rationalization this is, "You can't have the good without the bad".  This induces the mentality that you must be bi-polar. Like, in a win/loss relationship with yourself. Fighting for peace. Like deliberately giving yourself pain/grief/sorrow/depression/despair as the necessary chemical concoctions believed to be necessary to extract the experiences of ecstasy/pleasure/relief/happiness. 

2) Physical Masturbation triggered by Mental Masturbation: jerking off to porn/desire/fantasy...rubbing one out because you're all worked up.

Now, some of you may be wondering like, 'what the fuck'...how the fuck am I suppose to rub one out...or, 'oh shit, rubbing one out with porn is a conflict of interest'...what the fuck, I don't get it...or maybe something along the lines of, 'you think what I am saying is total bullshit'...and well...fuck...if there's been any reaction to my words...than I've just helped you rub one out...triggering your conflict of interest....how stimulating....

To Be Continued

Day 593 Postponed Greatness?

Planet Earth is the place Here as Heaven on Earth. Obviously the living potential on planet earth is being largely suppressed due to the conditioned nature of humanity. Within and as this consideration, the question comes up, "Why are we postponing the living of Greatness as Heaven on Earth Here? I mean what the fuck?"

So within exploring this point and seeing how I have enabled the point of postponement to exist within myself at an individual level, I see and realize how collectively...humanity...as a species is creating disharmony and Hell on Earth. I see Greatness as the end game result of our potential...and the question here is why the fuck do we postpone access to our full potential as greatness. Obviously that isn't a very great thing to do...and were at a very primitive point within our education process where were learning through horrendous consequences the result of our own self inflicted postponement/acceptances and allowances. 

Like for instance, lets look at how even accepting and allowing a point of lets say, "Things just can't be perfect...a Heaven on Earth is like some bullshit fairy tale dream." Why perpetuate such a belief and outlook? What good does this serve? Does this just contribute to the postponement of seeing that you know, Heaven on Earth is in fact possible through and as the fruits of our labor here? So if Heaven on Earth is in fact as simple as the end results of and as the fruits of our labor here, Why the fuck would we postpone the self-direction in and as the harvesting of our labored efforts as what is best for Life? Obviously there is some educational issues here that require reassessment. 

It's interesting to see how absolutely fucking retarded our thoughts/feelings/emotions can be...I mean within really investigating the extent of our acceptances and allowances it becomes ridiculously obvious how at an individual level we have created the Hell on Earth that exists within and as the human condition...as like the walking dead...walking zombies...and this point of zombification is the result of our self-automated perpetuation within and as our constant and continuous reaction as the rooted nature in and as our thoughts/feelings/emotions.

So, what has become ever so blatantly apparent to me is the self-responsibility I bestow to take accountability for my every thought/feeling/emotion. I mean really look at how ridiculous it is to create a justification as an excused way out of participating within and as a point of greatness. It's like as a result of our education here we've been taught to forge connections and make sense of things as our justification within and as just if I see a tie on...I can tie everything all together and make sense of everything as my reasoned justification/excuse/validation/belief/religion...that this is the way things are/ours as a result of my/our forgery/crime against Life education indoctrination. 

What we resist will persist. So if we resist greatness than resisting greatness will persist...but I mean this is completely ridiculously absurd and if we keep at a point persistently than we actively activate the potential to exist in learning to understand/realize/create the impossible...making the impossible possible as simply becoming I am possible within and as the realm of possibilities that always exist. 

To be Continued

Day 562 Starting Point of 'Investigate'

In a way we are always here as investigative detectives. What is interesting about this perspective is that even though we are always here within and as investigative detectives...our effectiveness existing as the best investigative detectives is compromised and suppressed when and as our starting point is not clearly aligned within and as the starting point of Oneness and Equality.

The starting point of 'Investigate' became clear to me today as I was faced with challenging work related circumstances and I allowed myself to form some personal self-righteous judgments and take the challenging work related circumstances personally. Within this, the point of self-reflection is required. Within and as the principle of Oneness and Equality, self-reflection is always here. 

It's interesting to see how we can compromise being the best investigative detectives within taking things personally and not wanting to question why particular things become so challenging for ourselves. Like for instance the particular challenges I was faced with was primarily within my ability to place myself within and as the shoes of others. I created such difficulty for myself as a result of clinging to particular biased/judgement/assumptions/beliefs/opinions that really hindered my physical well being...and within this I was missing the pertinent points/opportunities/clues/gifts that were available here for me to see. What's interesting about this is that as a result of automatically creating these biased judgments/assumptions/beliefs/opinions...I was blocking myself from having access to myself-investigation/education here. Consequently, I allowed myself to accumulate stress as a result of perpetuating thought within my mind to support the initial biased judgments/assumptions/beliefs/opinions I formed as like automatic reactions within beginning this particular work assignment.

The points in particular the opened up that I was resistant to see within myself, related to parents catering to children's desires and children just wanting to have their way no matter what. Also the point of self-entitlement/self-regard...and not realizing how I was being triggered by this point.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how if I let even one moment of automated backchat within my mind be accepted and allowed within myself without further investigation, that the backchat will continue to accumulate and build so that I am able to see it in a bigger manifested presentation of consequence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I created 'challenging circumstances for myself' as a result of my inability to effectively self-reflect upon the nature of my backchat within moments while working. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having just wanted to shutdown and go to sleep as like to re-set my mind and forget about the points I faced within my day today that require further investigation so that I can re-align myself from and as the starting point of Equality and Oneness and and prevent myself from ever perpetuating a similar instance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for taking personally what I see and within this utilize this as my self-righteous bias to feel validated in forming and perpetuating automated backchat about the particular circumstances I am witnessing and participating within.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting to realize and understand the mind processes I am witnessing and participating within in any give moment. I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding how my mind is the point of self-reflection for me to see what and how I have polarized my physical well being here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to face the point of myself as a child being spoiled within my parents catering to my every desire...or almost every desire.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being irritated/frustrated and annoyed in seeing children being persistent in doing everything they can to get there way within fulfilling their individula desires.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the shame that exists within me as a result of seeing and realizing how ruthless I have existed within primarily focusing myself here on the obtainment of my momentary desires while totally disregarding everything else within my environment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting angry/irritated/frustrated and annoyed with facing the nasty acceptances and allowances that have existed within myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for abusing myself within playing out the self-automated defense coping systems for not wanting to face the nasty acceptances and allowances that have existed within myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating a self-automated defense coping systems for not wanting to face the nasty accpetances and allowances that exist within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the scope of irony that exists within creating self-automated defensive coping systems within myself. I realize and understand how I have perpetuated that which I have resisted and fighted against...and within this if anything have only ever validated the nasty acceptances and allowances that exist within myself within accepting and allowing myself to passively accept and allow myself to play out and perpetuated automated backchat as the automated defense coping system.

I realize and understand my effectiveness in my ability to physically express myself here in and as the standing of what is best for all life within and as the principle of Oneness and Equality is a breath by breathaccumulation....because it is is in each moment of breath that I make the decision of what I accept and allow to exist within myself. I realize and understand myself-responsibility within witnessing self-automated backchat within myself to investigate the origins through the process of self-investigation. I realize and understand that self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements are required in these particular incidences. I realize and understand backchat is like an accident/incident that is happening within my mind and that is my self-responsibility to investigate and report the accident/incidents...as I realize it is myself-responsibility to prevent the accident/incident from perpetuating into a more sever problem and situation...and within taking self-responsibility for myself in the moment...I revive myself here as Life...bit by bit...piece by piece....breath by breath...as I realize I am in the midst of an ongoing process/investigation of self-realization as I walk the journey to life in and as the purification of the law of my being here as Equality and Oneness.

To Be Continued

Day 534 Why Do I Resist Doing Things?

I noticed how there is a tendency within myself to resist doing things sometimes…like I create a judgement and comparison preference towards participating or not participating within particular things/opportunities…like there’s this heaviness energy within myself…where I believe that participating in particular things brings my self-interest into question/jeopardy. Like, I will think of things that produce or keep me in alignment with a particular energetic state. For example with the heaviness experience, it’s like in particular instances it’s as though I would rather not commit to anything…that by not committing to particular engagements I believe I will have more free time…like more time to indulge myself within self-interested pursuits of entertainment. I see how sometimes I create judgements towards moving myself…like wanting to remain within a point of laziness…like the laziness energy is this heaviness…and remaining within that experience requires no physical effort what so ever.  And it’s really quite bizarre because once I commit myself to participating within particular things where I have resistance to doing so, I actually quite enjoy myself within self-expression while participating within particular things/activities.

I think this laziness energy and resistance to doing things is related to me within the years where I smoked copious amounts of marijuana where I often turned down events/activities/opportunities because I preferred to just sit around and get high…like making commitments to doing things seemed like a lot of effort that I wasn't really that interested in.

I realize and understand I exist within a physical reality where participation and movement is required.

I see me having resistance sometimes to participating within social interactions and gatherings, like I would prefer to just remain by myself and do my own thing. Though again this is interesting because I do enjoy engaging/communicating/sharing self-expression with others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for holding onto this laziness/heavy energetic experience within myself where I prefer to remain within this heaviness lethargic state as opposed to moving myself into physical participation with others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for preferring to be by myself as opposed to being with others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating conflict towards being by myself and being with others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting social opportunities of activity and relationship out of preference to being by myself within entertainment indulgences of self-interest.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging myself for taking the time to spend time by myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for feeling conflicted at times for wanting to take the time for myself when I see and realize that many of my peers do not take the time for themselves within self-investigation pursuits.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how there was a time when I never really wanted to be by myself and always existing within socializing experiences of entertainment out of like the fear of being/spending time by myself without the companionship of others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having difficulty within finding the perfect balance between social interactions and private time to/for myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for flip flopping within extremes of always socializing and isolation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging myself for isolating myself sometimes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for defining isolation as negative.

I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding how I have often focused socializing upon self-interested pursuits.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting socializing if I do not see any particular benefits/rewards/self-interested pursuits within socializing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself and feel guilty when I do not see any practical support/benefit/reward/self-interested pursuits within socializing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating judgement within myself to saying no to particular social interactions....like believing that I should always say yes when offered to participate within social activities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for compromising self-responsibilities within fearing to say no sometimes to participating within social activities with peers.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for giving social activities precedence of self-responsibilities/obligations.

When and as I see myself judging whether or not to socialize with others from within the starting point of self-interest, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand the suppressing myself expression within socializing within the point of self-righteous self-interest is not practical self-support.

To be Continued

Day 523 Food Religion Part 2

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be judgmental about food.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for discriminating and limiting the potential support 

I can garner from food.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having bad attitudes about the food I put into my body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for spiting my body and the food I eat by accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the food I eat.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having an elitist attitude about food.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting the oneness and equality of and as food…as like it is what it is…and that placing labelled judgments about foods without investigating them can in fact be damaging and detrimental to my well being.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for choosing to believe what other people believe about foods being good or bad without effectively testing the point with my body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for limiting my physical body self-expression within eating food.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for blaming food on the condition of my physicality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being paranoid about what I eat.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring a more athletic physique.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within conflict while eating food.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to eat as a point of stress relief.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the practical self support within taking the time to really enjoy my food.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being ungrateful for the food I eat.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take eating food for granted.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be religious about food.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for worry about food being supportive for my body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for separating myself from food.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding physical expression within eating food.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to zone out within eating food.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing  myself for not realizing and understanding the importance of appreciation within and as the food I eat as like a point of gratefulness/gratitude.

To be Continued