Day 781 - Go for It - The Movement and Moment of Doing

Taking the Time Here to Recognize the Act of Making something Happen....You know, that moment of Doing, That moment where you make the decision to move yourself for yourself....you know, because you see a possible play here and you want to make it work.....So, You go for it.

Now, timing is a funny thing in the act and moment of doing...because we play/work in time and it's the fine tuning of our actions in time that assists us in seeing the results of our creations here.  See, there is so many ways for us to move ourselves and some ways are more efficient and others are less efficient...and some just are not in relation to being efficient or inefficient....they just are simply what they are and there is no competition or friction about the play and working of oneself in motion here.

I'm recognizing a correlation within myself with regards to my attitude in mind and my ability to move myself physically. Like, specifically....what I mean is the me here within and as my Beingness here as the Player who exists within and as both Body and Mind...but is also the decision maker...and word regulator.....sound technician..the story writer author of my movement/physical life here.

Writing with this regard towards physical movment, sounds kind of strange and sort of obscure....because it's like a mind fuck of sorts that comes up within me...like this conscious thinking that i've always been moving myself this whole time...this whole life of mine.....But the reality  and truth of myself is in fact a lie of sorts, because I have come to understand that me as the Being Player here hasn't always been calling the shots and making the plays for myself here....it's like I've been taking orders from myself as my mind as consciousness/ego, a lesser version of the best of myself here as my Beingness Signature and Expression in every movement and moment.

I had a my weakness come through in my mind this evening as the thoughts about how I could let slide my writing of my blog this evening.  The fact of the matter here as me from the core of my Being here, is that I really do enjoy expressing myself through writing....I enjoy the flow of connecting my sounds through the addition of words in and as the formation of sentences coming together to share the flow that exists within and as the inside of me outside as like a sort of weather and temperature thing....the waterfall that is me. Hmmm, maybe i need to play and work within this temperature thing as the water that is me....that sounding of how that came out doesnt seem quite right....but hey maybe that's because there is an inkling of an inclination to stop myself and censor myself from actually moving myself within and as my words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stop myself from moving/living my potential as a result of not realizing and understanding the mechanics of  my mind consciousness programming where I talk myself out of doing/moving and continue within and as thinking within and as mind consciousness. I realize I am in the process of getting to know myself for real....because it's like to a certain extent as I aged throughout my life here...i learned to cover myself up and hide the truth of myself as like my Beingness sound signature here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being made fun of and being embarassed as a result of sounding unfamiliar and or out of tune with what is typically already known and obvious within and as basic programmed predicatable behavior.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist stepping outside of my comfort zone from the perspective of expanding my potential and my life as my home here...as like the movement of myself here within and as how i challenge myself-development here.  I commit myself to learning.  I commit myself to making improvements within and as my work and play time here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to understand and know the truth of myself here as words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sabotage myself within and as my words from and as the perspective of Ego Mind Consciousness as the real disregard for my well Being Here in and as my physical Body.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to neglect awareness for myself within and as word and world here as my vocabulary and my physicality here...as like all is part of my self/flesh here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the amount of times I make a mistake before I got the point within myself as a complete knowing and understanding that I can share and explain the various relationship dynamics/mechanics of and as the various states of motion that one can experience within and as the mistake where one reacts within  one of the many realms of intenseness as a result and consequence of our emotional outflow....where we are in fact allowing ourselves to be self-victimized by our very own reactions of Ego.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Fear letting my ego go.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not now what it is like to live always without  the thoughts of self-sabotage as the thinking my way out of doing something.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing nor understanding how the trap of my mind as ego within and as consciousnesses energy was to over think things for myself...as the specifics of talking my way out of actually doing anything....because you see...I am quite capable and able to talk my walk as i write myself here...and the fact of the matter is....that as I write...I see myself here for real...is like as I write...I can hear myself loud and clear...as like the me that has always been here...yearning to be heard as the voice that has been suppressed in favor of self-suppression as the fear ego mantra of submission in energy patterned behavior of various dimensions of polarized constructions, also know as the war between good and evil picked from the tree of knowledge.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand myself as the Tree here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to pick on myself and others from and as the starting point of bullying where I cut myself down as like not allowing myself to grow and develop where I have the potential to branch out and blossom in a whole assortment of ways that are seemingly unimaginable.  I realize myself here as a tree. I realize to see myself as what I previous could not perceive myself as, is a great assistance in expanding my perspective and perception of and as my capacity for developing my very own personal self-responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing nor understanding the terror of self-inferiorization....as the parasitic vampire like self-inflicted condition of twisting and turning words around within the mind to reflect the feeling and or emotion of the moment...and to be so convinced that is the totality of myself ability in the moment that I don't want to even question my status update, because the fear of not being real is so real that desire and urge to be accepted by anyone other than myself is so great....because ironically, the definition of authority has been transmuted outside of self...myself here.  I commit myself to re-establishing myself here as Authority and Author of myself here as the Director of myself here,,,and I commit myself to share with others how self-direction is a matter of self-regard and the willingness to speak for real on behalf of yourself here making a stand for all life here as one and equal.

I commit myself  to stop slacking off in regard for my words here...and within this i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to isolate myself into inaction as a result and consequence of fearing  the moment of moving myself within and as the practical application of myself living words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand my creative capacity for self-developing solutions that are great.

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my potential here as a creative solution developer.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to disregard...and really disassociate myself with the word "Developer"

I commit myself to playing and working with the word  "Developer".

I commit myself to delving...and diving into and as the practical living of my potential within and as the word "developer"


To Be Continued

Day 726 - Moment Management

I've noticed the Moment to often be a very Pivotal point.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be influenced and controlled by fear within the moment as a particular feeling/emotion that contradicts my Planning

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being consistently inconsistent with my commitments as a result of accepting and allowing momentary Fear as various dimensions of reaction to influence and regulate my movement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to embrace all of my fears and actually move myself regardless of and as the excuse that is presented as coming up in the moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making a big deal about moving through an accepted and allowed suppression I see within a moment. I realize that this is in fact no big deal here....and that the only way this would become a big deal is if I avoided taking self-responsibility for the point I see I have been suppressing.  Within this new realization...the moment is a very cool pivot point in and as the process of self-perfection, because the opportunity exists to become a better version of oneself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how Life works as a series of Moments put together....but that all there every is is the present moment here....which leads into new present moments here....and All the While from Present Moment to Present Moment, I am the Leader as My Life is My Self-Responsibility and The Creation of My Life is a Result of and as the Effectiveness of My Leadership Here. I realize and understand Leadership starts within and as Self-Responsibility here.  I realize I have Great Responsibilities and that Self-Responsibility is the Key within and as Self-Empowerment/Self-Creation Here as Heaven on Earth

I commit myself to Self-Creation Here as Heaven on Earth.

I commit myself to Self-Responsibility

I commit myself to Living the Self-Empowerment within and as Self-Responsibility

When and as I see myself faced with a moment where I experience a feeling of like "not wanting to participate within my self-responsibility", I stop and breathe, I see/realize/understand the self-sabotage within thinking oneself out of doing what is required to be done as the practical living of self-responsibility. I Move myself in Doing the point that I face resistance towards Doing. I realize the movement of my doing is the Key to Practical Living Creation here as the How To put the Plans in Motion. I see realize and understand the Planning and Planting that Happens within and as the Movement of Doing. I see, realize and understand the Commitment within and as The Decision to Do it....as the Moving Beyond thinking about doing It...and Just Doing It.  I realize the More I do it...the more I get Done.  I realize my potential existent here is within and as self-creation and that my self-creation comes from the act of doing things...as the building and development of Greatness within and as Always All Ways...as Always Great.

I commit myself to and as Greatness Here.

Day 627 Self-Obsession and Mastery

For Context for my writing today, please check out, "Activist's Journey to Life - Day 525 Self-Obsession and Mastery"

Most people are completely obsessed with one thing and live their entire lives within the pull of this massive force of gravity that is their obsession. That obsession is SELF - me, myself and I. Becoming very good at something - mastering a skill - is hard work and often requires that you rise above yourself and become something else - whether it is the music, the art, the job - whatever. What seems to happen with people who have experienced a really traumatic event that involves loss is that they shift their focus from themselves to someone, or something else. That shift of obsession seems to cause a change in their motivation, the force that drives them forward in life. It is no longer the "I" that drives them, but some "other" force that allows for the opportunity for them to develop themselves and dedicate themselves completely to something outside of themselves. Let's face it - most of us never develop that kind of dedication, where we completely lose ourselves in something. Losing yourself implies that you are willing to let go of YOU and become something else - most of us are clinging on far too tightly to "Who I am" and the likes that we would never be willing to let go like that. In a sense it is the act of giving up control absolutely - that is a scary idea for most.

The point I am looking at here specifically is:

"Let's face it - most of us never develop that kind of dedication, where we completely lose ourselves in something. Losing yourself implies that you are willing to let go of YOU and become something else - most of us are clinging on far to tightly to "Who I am" and the likes that we would never be willing to let go like that. In a sense it is the act of giving up control absolutely - that is a scary idea for most."

I garner much support from looking at these words here. Notice how our physical expression here is linked to our ability to breathe here. Notice how often we exists within some shortness of breath...like maybe we hold our breath for a bit...but then need to gasp for air...as like clinging on for dear life....like fearing the death of our-self....this I find is quite an interesting parallel to the actual practical living of our-self here...and when I say practical living of our-self here...I imply the point of understanding that to practically live here...is to express oneself unconditionally...not holding our-self back...like...meaning that we will let go of our-self always...

This is a point I have played with much...very much like a piano in a lot of ways..in terms of my tone within myself...as like the attitude of the strangle hold I place upon myself..from the perspective of how much I restrict myself from doing particular things or how much I refrain myself from restriction and give myself unbounded access to any and all possible direction by not trying to control my direction from the perspective of fearing and worrying that I cannot respond/recover from a mistake...or basically like keep myself a float with my own self perpetual motion...like trusting my self movement...as the working with myself here as what I got to work with from moment to moment.

It's interesting here because our mind as thought/feeling/emotion is in a way the control...it's how we regulate....and interesting here because as we allow ourselves to step beyond our own self-hypnotic mind control...we dare to change our programming here... I mean really...stepping out of a pre-defined self-programming perception/perspective reality and into an unbound limitless potential reality from a certain perspective as we open up a plethora of mathematical potential ability and capability because our course of action as our ability to respond and act in particular manners is not regulated and pre-determined...pre-programmed based upon a time looping mind construction that just runs laps all day on auto repeat. Kind of bizarre really.

So, For instance there are instances where I have pushed myself to move beyond the curtains of control and into the unknown within and as the point of communication...basically pushing myself to trust myself in speaking and to allow myself to flow...and play with what I say while sharing here.

Also however...I have played the tailored opposite here where I am quite restricted within the strangle hold of fear over what I say...this is a frustratingly terrible way to go about communicating I must say...and why...because of the fear to let loose...lose control of the fear....controlling and regulating a fear...is kind of a bizarre approach and consideration...it's like seeing something is fucked and shouldn't really be here...isn't really here...but making believe it to be here.. and keeping it here and making a point of fucking with it. Mind mentality as fear...moving in fear...as the control methodology...


To be Continued

Day 619 Waiting for the Right Moment

So, this evening I found myself waiting and looking for the right moment to begin writing my blog. this was a ridiculously absurd notion...as like the point was here...and it's like I was wanting a particular energy to direct me...and...momentarily I was allowing this waiting and searching for the right energy to influence me...as like I had this attitude of I don't feel like doing this writing here now...and I mean it's kind of funny because I always do enjoy very much writing here...so it's kind of ridiculous and absurd to see how I can stew within a thought/feeling/emotion/energy even for a moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting my moment to moment management even for a moment.

When and as I see myself neglecting to manage my moment here as what is best for all Life as my self-expression in and as self-responsibility and self-awareness here, I stop and breathe, I say,"I am here",,,I move myself into self-directive action and allow myself to practically live self-responsibility in taking care of myself here. I see/realize/understand that as I take care of myself from within and as the point of giving myself the best support and assistance, I develop and expand self-intimacy here which makes me better prepared to assist and support another as myself. I commit myself to assisting and supporting myself from moment to moment as a point of moment management from within and as the starting point of and as what is best for all Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying the strain and tension within delaying self-responsibility within a moment of seeing the point that requires self-direction.

When and as I see a point that requires self-direction, I stop and breathe, I say, "I am here" I direct myself to do what is best within the moment as a point of self-honesty and self-trust. I see/realize/understand self-honesty and self-trust to be a in the moment practical living/working self-application that is based in and as the physical common sense here within and as the moment. I commit myself to self-honesty and self-trust within and as the moment of physical awareness here. I commit myself to and as self-direction as what is best for all Life. I commit myself to stop justifying strain and tension as a result of delaying self-responsibility within a moment of seeing the point that requires self-direction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging the moments as the right time or the wrong time. 

When and as I see myself judging time, I stop and breathe, I say, "I am here"...I see and realize the absurd ridiculousness of judging my time. I see/realize/understand the absurd ridiculousness of getting lost within the judgement of time. I commit myself to stop jeopardizing myself here within judging time.

Day 592 Postponement

I notice that I am very flexible to re-adjusting/re-scheduling/delaying participation within particular engagements. I am questioning this flexibility because I see it as a false sense of flexibility in certain circumstances because the point of postponement becomes like a reasoned excuse to justify my self-diligence within particular moments where I require to be steadfast within staying on task and making something work.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting to regard the consequences of postponement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have used the point of re-scheduling/postponement in a self-deceptive manner.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having become self-reliant on postponement as a way of coping with my accepted and allowed reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being lazy within and as my self-responsibility of and as my self-direction here in every moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for talking myself out of commitments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for postponing commitments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for using the point of postponement and re-scheduling as a way to avoid commitment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for dreading commitment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating conflict towards honoring myself-commitments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating justifications as the reasoned excuses that I give value to.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for placing value within justification...and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the absurd ridiculousness and self deceptionwithin placing value in justification.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding that the word "commitment" starts within and as myself here. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding that any particular area of my life where I struggle with commitment reflects and an opportunity/gift for self-expansion because by thoroughly investigating the dimensions of the point in question, I am able and capable to transcend my own self-induced limitations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having allowed myself to be influenced by positive and or negative energies as the source of reasoning/justification in order to orchestrate moments of postponement. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent of irrationality within being influenced by emotions/feelings/thoughts that randomly come up that act as a trigger reaction in deflecting my self-directive commitment and course or practical living self-responsibility.

When and as I see myself orchestrating reasons/justifications to change plans to accommodate thoughts/feelings/emotions that have just come up within myself, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand this reflects self-sabotage and that the root origins of my mind as thoughts/feelings/emotions is fear based and that any resistance towards a particular commitment/task is a clear indication of the importance and responsibility of myself to step into the point of resistance and direct the point into conflict resolution as a result of effectively and efficiently walking through the resistance. I realize and understand that any time that I suppress a point of resistance/commitment, I am in fact perpetuating a cognitive dissonance towards that particular point and moving through the point will seem more tedious/difficult. I commit myself to stop suppressing points of resistance/commitments. I commit myself take self-responsibility for my commitments and to exercise the living of self-diligence within and as my self-commitments here. I commit myself to stop being flexible within and as the point of postponement from and as a perspective of being willing to deviate from personal responsibilities because of a particular thought/feeling/emotion energy came up within my mind. I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to be ruled and controlled by thoughts/feelings/emotions. I commit myself to investigating my thoughts/feelings/emotions as I realize and understand the self-reflection within and as my thoughts/feelings/emotions as a way to expose my self-dishonesty here. I commit myself to self-correct my self-dishonesty. I commit myself to stop fearing to face myself dishonesty. I commit myself to be humble within facing my acceptances and allowances.