Day 701 - Flow within and as Fortitude of Purpose

I have given myself temporarily, and different moment a specific fortitude of purpose...and within and as this point...I allowed myself to move as a flow...where I would not accept and allow the excuses and justifications that came up within my mind to distract me from and as the flow of my movement as the steadfast determination within and as the practical living fortitude of purpose.

A point that is interesting within examining this here....is that as I look closely at this point...I see that I removed the choice....the option to entertain deceit as like a choice to not go along with my planning as the specific specification of and as my self-designed....self-enacted purpose of fortitude.

Now, I see that throughout my life I have had many, many more moments where my steadfast and determination as my fortitude of purpose, was in fact lacking the strength and vigor required to actually stick to and stand firmly grounded within and as my commitment.  This giving up on a purposeful direction has been somewhat of a weakness of mine...where I have often questioned my origins of creating such a point in the first place...and usually such a point was then excused when and as the going got tough and a point/thought/emotion/feeling came up within my mind that challenged the flow of my movement...and it's like I didn't know what to do...I didn't realize how fast I was engulfed within and as the possession of mind as like a point of distraction from and as my initial gift giving enactment to myself as a Fortitude of Purpose...a direction...a commitment....and perhaps in these many times, instances....it was a necessary experience for me to experience in order to see the truth of my acceptances and allowances as how I have accepted and allowed myself to be conditioned and influenced by my very own programming. Also, I would say the purposeful giving of myself lacked the fortitude with purpose as the strength of character that would not quit even though the option of quitting and giving up would be a readily apparent option, time and time again until I proved to myself that quitting wasn't an option. Slacking would not be tolerated. Accepting less than my potential is not accepted and allowed.

I have been reflecting here today on points of self-denial and self-deceit as programmed conditioned suppressions that have compromised my potential moments of self-expression....self-creation as who I really am.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand how I have conditioned myself into a weakness of character where deceit and denial of self are tolerated as particular coping mechanisms...as an outflow of the thoughts/emotions/feelings that I experience within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not really grasping the fact of how the alignment with thoughts/words/deeds reflects the overall character Being here....as either self-honesty of self-dishonesty. Self-honesty is and as the physical alignment of what is in fact best for all Life. Self-dishonesty is the disregard of consideration of all Life and to only regard oneself as separate from the rest of Life here....this is the epitome of self-interest from the perspective of focusing on interests that exhibit and reveal the consequence and the lack of consideration for the effects of one's actions on the lives of others here. Self-dishonesty is to superimpose the validation of the consciousness energetic polarized friction systematic conflicted movement of oneself here as a mind consciousness organic robot.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for denying myself access to the programming and conditioning of myself as a mind consciousness organic robot.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to investigate extensively the suppression of myself here.

I forgive myself for thinking I can pick and choose self-honesty and self-dishonesty...as like being self-honest about some things and self-dishonest about other things....like believing that by deliberately focusing on some points and avoiding other points I can be projected as self-honest while keep the self-dishonesty in tact. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have fought for my own limitation as suppression of potential expression here within and as a result of fearing to be self-honest always all ways...unconditionally self-honest here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying the play out of self-dishonesty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to take self-responsibility for points of fuckedness I have created as self-dishonest...self-deception.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the consequence of perpetuating the the self-inflicting misfortune of self-denial as a result of and as accepted and allowed self-deceit as like the fear to actually take responsibility for the creation and expression of One's Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for harboring anger and frustration and sadness and disdain towards myself for my accepted and allowed suppressions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for becoming addicted to dwelling within and as my very own sorrow to a point of actually being in self-denial about the suppression I have allowed to remain within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying the existence of suppression within my character as a result of and as the desire to be liked.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have allowed myself to live in fear of being disliked to such an extent that I would compromise the character of myself to such an extent that I would deliberately choose to not express myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing the controversy of self-honesty within and as myself here...as like the great unknown of my true potential here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold myself hostage within myself as a result of  and as the fear of of ridicule, judgement and unflattering opinions/judgments about my character here. I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding the irony within and as such acceptances and allowances as that I have actually been perpetually justifying the creation of that which I want to avoid as fear of ridicule, judgement, and unflattering opinions/judgments because I have kept these beliefs existent within me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how deeply rooted this point of desire to be liked has existed within me...that I have deliberately played out polarized relationships as a consequence of such conditioning...where I would deliberately put on an act to be liked...or deliberately put on an act to avoid the process of being engaged within relationships with various beings. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being so conditionally restrained within and as my ability to express myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not know what it is actually like to live my life unconditionally as self-honesty as who I am here in and as the self-trust of and as the self-expression of myself here...without the fear to live/give the best of myself here...as the constant stability of myself here as I remain here grounded within as the life physicality...beyond the energetic veils of consciousness programming.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how avoiding points of uncomfortability that exist within myself is like giving myself a false positive impression of myself as being all good when and as the truth of my reality is that I am being governed and controlled by my very accepted and allowed discomforts as fears.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being complacent within and as fear programming where I avoid going into my discomforts in order to prevent the continuation of such problems existing within myself. I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding how enacting/creating solutions can be an uncomfortable process at times...because it is totally new...and that the particular adjustments and points of comfort require to be established....so obviously, in developing/creating something new for myself...there is going to be discomfort....because this is how I can effectively learn to groom my comfort-ability within myself as the self-actualized learning from my discomforts. I see and realize here how by not being afraid to get uncomfortable....face the discomforts within my acceptances and allowances...that I can actually get to know myself better....become more self-intimate within myself here...facing my relationship conditioning and at the same time expanding my relationship with myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for complicating my ability to live as the flow within and as the Fortitude of Purpose.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting,needing, desiring the flow within and as the fortitude of purpose.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to give myself permission to practically live as the flow within and as the fortitude of purpose.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how in fact the flow within and as the fortitude of purpose exists within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for searching outside of myself for the flow within and as the fortitude of purpose.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting stressed about the practicality of giving myself purpose within and as my Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for becoming frustrated within seeing, realizing the inconsistency I have exhibited within and as my life as purposeful living.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being disappointed with points of inconsistency within and as my desteni process journey to life...as my daily writing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fall within the point of daily writing, where I have allowed excuses and justifications to exist as like a form of self-dishonesty as a means of validating self-interest that exists separate from the interests that are best for all Life here.

When and as I see myself entertaining an excuse/justification within my mind as a means of distraction as entertainment to keep me in a state of self-dishonesty where I am looking to deliberately avoid self-honesty, I stop and breathe, I am self-honest with myself as to actually take responsibility in forgiving and self-correcting the accepted and allowed suppression of character. I realize and understand the best character to be that which is principled within and as the starting point of what is best for all life. I realize and understand the regard and consideration for all life within and as the starting point principle of what is best for all life. I realize and regard myself as all Life within and as the principle of what is best for all life.

I commit myself to practically living the principle what is best for all life.

I realize my effectiveness within and as the living of what is best for all life has been a learning process as I have been facing my self-dishonesty and walking a process of self-correction where I am learning to be self-honest as a point of stability within and as myself here.

When and as I see myself desiring to be liked or fearing to be disliked, I stop and breathe, I see realize and understand the suppression within and as myself, I commit myself to expressing myself from within and as a starting point of self-trust. I realize and understand I will encounter doubt from time to time as like a cross referencing point of and as my self-trust and self-realization of myself here...and that doubt is a practical tool of self-support to assist and support self-stability within and as the process journey to life here.

Day 608 Self-Movement

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for restricting/resisting myself-movement here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understand my ability to move myself here is somewhat reflective in and as my relationship to words as like how I accept and allow words to exist within me. I see/realize/understand myself movement here in and as moments of self-expression as being a self-reflection and presentation of how I accept and allow myself to live words. What I find interesting about the living of words is the fact that the words are alive within myself as like all the words are all ready in place and basically from moment to moment I am able to direct the flow of my words as like a musical conductor directing the orchestra.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting to be self-disciplined and self-diligent within my daily investigation of and as the nature of word relationships within myself. I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding how my words are like musical notes and instruments that are specific in physical structure/being/sound...which is much like musical instruments in for example an orchestra...and the correlation I am connecting here is that if an instrument is not tuned properly it will be out of sync as like existing within and as suppressed ability to perform and function at its full potential. So, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the profound impact words have on my ability to perform and function within and as my self-movement/self-expression here. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing my Life potential within and as the living words. I see/realize/understand I am best able to express myself when and as I immediately self-correct a missed tuned word...as like a word that i need exists within and as a particular resonating disharmony.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having not realized and understood my profound ability to tune/program/deprogram myself here within and as a self-reflection of and as my word relationships. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand how my words impact and influence my world. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how my world as how I see is a result of my words as how I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in relationship to words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting to gift myself with the orchestration of specific plans on a daily basis as a way to prevent myself from being less than effective. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for giving myself the option/choice to cancel out on my orchestra of specifically detailed plans.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding myself here as the conductor of and as the orchestra/symphony/self-movement within and as the self-realization of myself here as a 'show and tell'.

When and as I see myself resisting to follow through with a plan, I stop and breathe, I say I am here, I look and see the points of practicality, I see/realize and understand the sound support within making and living decisions from and as a starting point of practicality.I commit myself to sound practicality.

When and as I see myself just kind of going through the motions of my emotions within a particular situation...which is the result of how I relate my words to my participation here, I stop and breathe, I say I am here, I self-correct the emotional experience/relationship/attachment, I direct myself to play with what I say...as I see/realize/understand myself to be playing/making music as I communicate myself verbally.

When and as I see myself having a thought/judgement/justification that just seemingly randomly pops up within my mind, I stop and breathe, I say I am here, I commit myself to purifying the nature of and as my words. I commit myself to investigating the extent of the nature of and as my words.

I commit myself to understanding practical living words as a point of and as self movement.

Day 486 Fitness Training

Fitness training is a point I'd like to open up in writing. I like physical activity, yet the idea of training to improve performance within specific physical activities/sports has always been a huge point of resistance for me.  I'd like to start with some self-forgiveness in regards to fitness training.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging fitness training as not enjoyable work.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging and comparing fitness training as less than the sports/activities I enjoy participating within.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to develop and strengthen my physical body with fitness training exercises.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking about fitness training as being valid support for myself but then justifying and excusing myself from participating within the point.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting to give myself the physical body support within fitness training.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting to develop my physical body strength and conditioning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have been dishonest with myself within deliberately avoiding and waiting to giving my body physical attention in strengthening my muscles.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting the labor involved in physically developing my body through fitness training as a point of support and assistance for  my well being here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for lacking the discipline and commitment to physical body nourishment and support through regular fitness training exercises.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for spiting my physical body within neglecting to utilize daily physical exercises as a point of enjoyment/support/self-expansion/awareness/learning development.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making excuses as to how I will implement fitness training exercises later.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for compromising my best athletic performances by neglecting to give any attention to training exercises that will assist me with optimum performances, as like enabling myself to express myself at my potential.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting my physical body potential

I commit myself to strengthening my physical body.

I commit myself to utilizing specific training exercises as a platform of support and assistance for my physical well being here.

I commit myself to fitness training as point of caring for my body and taking self-responsibility to prevent injury within specific sports/activities by adopting fitness training into my life as a practical living point of support.

When and as I see myself making excuses to dismiss scheduled fitness training, I stop and breathe, I realise and understand that fitness training is a point I would like to expand and grow within myself as a point of self-mastery.

I commit myself to practical living physical fitness.

I commit myself to playing within the point of physical fitness.

I commit myself to self-discipline within fitness training.