Day 755 - What's Your Deal?

Check out the video I made, "What's your Deal?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIAOXDrOoOU

The video was created as an expansion and outflow of the writing of the blog:  Day 754 - "Funny Thing about Deals"

IN-JOY!

:)

Day 753 Consistency and Moderation - A Complimentary and Practical Living Arrangement,,,Like a Fine Tune

 



When you take two things that are good and you pair them together, the potential increases....like a good investment....You know this...and I mean the song gets better....it's like adding depth to the pool you are swimming in.  It's fun to begin wading around in shallow waters...like a wading pool....I mean it's a cool place to play around within....though, that is not all there is.  Potential exists beyond the shallow waters of the wading pool.

Word Relations are a lot like the 'wading pool' analogy I present here. Though, that is not all they are.  Like for instance when you pair words together to create the specificity of your sentencing...the potential to increase the depth of your pool exists.  I mean words are like the water to swim with and within. And the words are like the giving ourselves depth to move about in so many ways as the expressions of ourselves that exist within and as ourselves here.

The better we trust ourselves to work and play with our words here....the more expansive our swimming pool gets...and ironically enough our response ability to play and work as our sound expression here, becomes more clear, as a finely tuned clearly defined shape....as we exercise/drive/sculpt/draw our formations together as a reflection of and as our-self standing here as Collaborator...a worker and player here.

So much so, the way I like to look at things here is from the perspective of expansive potential possibility.  This I see is the depth of the water to swim in that exists our Expression/Flow/Opportunity here as Creation Creators.

Movement is Dynamic.

There is a definite momentum to movement.

Words are movement.

Words are moving and standing still as sounds structurally sound. A fascinating surety here indeed. I mean there is a reflexive responsibility about words and at the same time there is a firmness holding on together about words. This seeing about words stems from the branches/roots that are parts/pieces of the Tree of Self/Life here as who we are as Sound.

There is so much more to say....

The orchestra of word arrangements is a timeless classic.


For the moment here, lets pay particular attention and regard to the acknowledgement and appreciation of:

Consistency and Moderation....together in unison....as the complimentary relationship pairing here that bodes well for the composer who combines these harmonies here in playing and working out various notes that make up the masterpiece that is the inevitable Greatness of Life living arrangements Here.



To Be Continued as I provide more specific direction into and as the diving board for the deep dive.

Day 746 - Supple Play Works

Take a Moment to work and play Here with Supple:

"Supple" is the ease of movement which is Graceful. Bending and Flexibility.

When you Look at Supple...there is a sort of Supply to It.,,Isn't there? Like if you are not supple than you're ability to apply responsibility is rather limited, isn't it

What about the supplement within and as supple...or rather the Supple within and as Supplement?

With these regards and considerations is it Seen that the ease of movement which is graceful is a rather complimentary act...and self-responsibility if you will....a sort of glad to be of service approach....whether the service is self-service or other as the service of another self-here....in this regard....Isn't the service of self always all ways to be regarded here?  I mean, really who else is Here, other than Self? All of ourselves here.....all of our cells here....all the individualized parts of self here.

Supplement like the add in point...the play in the move as the natural way not such a forcefulness but more of a grace.

There is a tremendous amount of effort within and as Supple quickness...It is very focused and specific...and so there is a grace about the movement and motions...however, excellency within and as such supple quickness in application is a result of Practiced Efforts...and so the powerful practice efforts appear to be effortless as the grace about them...but the truth of the matter is....is much work goes into that which is seen as easy....like walking for instance....all of us who can walk now, spent a long while practicing it before we perfected it...and there was a constant and consistent everyday effort that went into the mastery of walking....

I commit myself to the utilizing the words Supple and Quickness as process points of support and assistance in aiding in my development and substantiation of response abilities that are great.

Day 715 - Audacity in Creativity Living Rhapsody

The Song is me..
The Song is One.
The Song is Always Sung.
The Song is Won.
The Winning Song Is Always.
The Creative Audacity in Living Rhapsody.

The Playwrights is to Play with the right and the left side as part of the compass of moral discretion as the discernment to choose as Always loss Prevention. The protection is in the Play rite as the writing of passage...the laws governing the body of self doing it here.

The body of government is the creativity in audacity as Living Rhapsody.

The Yo of the flow...the recognition of re-cognition..the rewiring of lying as to fire the liars from communicating through the wires making this cellular as the status standing agreement of Our Cells here...the Seeing Ourselves all together here...as to get here...is to get her..as the understanding and realization of the mother-ship...ya the leadership boarding...No hoarding..

This is Greatness...the Nest that is Great,.

Grattiude?

Yes please....the pleasure of attitude be the One you want...the winning Won...because you know how it goes....self-regard....appreciation and acceptances be part of the daily bread in giving living allowance as the money that is our honey pot pie..as the why to the we high as we low...the as above so below and the side to side in the decide brigade as the cumming together of knowing how to masturbate...no need for debate...fuck the weed...no need....we doing the deed...Indeed...we live the daily doing deeds as our very pleasures Indeed.

Ski bop the hip hop like flowing down the mountain on the jungle gymnasium inside the cranium rock cap...rock rock to the beach house....all housing inclusive of the law of Gratitude be the Attitude...living the law Greatness is the nest of our residing as the desire in reside...check it..see it...cash money living life value.....regarding yes..as the agreement purpose point in postured positioning a stance of self-acceptance that is Great.

Grateful is Key in being full of Great...though check it as the money in the bank...with greatness comes great responsibility because it;s an actuality of living in physical reality...the maneuverability in the acquisition of substantiating a position.

Poster the Posture...for the Posture is the Post You are.
The Rhapsody of Self-Expression....
Orgasmic...
The Oar, The Gas and The Mic...
Tools Check...Making it Made...Motor Boating the landing whether or not weather permitting because I make the permits for my permissions as the standing authority in and as the recognition of moral allegory in principle posed positioning as what;s best for You is Best for Me. Yo!


Wordy wordage is part of the stretching in expanding the mobility as how you sketch it so...so you know...because sometimes it comes out as the aftermath of the shout...but check it...it was here already as the fountain flowing within...the water runs non stop...the mouth be the tap...whether you tap dance or not...the song is song in every note as the sounding of it why as the how and the when as the what the we got here.

Musician in an Orchestra with a Sea of Organs...playing each piece has it;s part...no part can direct all parts as each part has it's own individual part ...so each part can stand as the individuality creativity audacity rhapsody as the flow go you know and trust...can't rust when you bust,..because just a paused hiccup indicator symptom symbol like a stop sign to slow down...rewind try it again...check the tempo

Momentum is the mountainous movement of the moment when you go Uhm and than drop the hesitation and stick to performance presentation

Day 693 - Freedom of Denial

Is there anything that You are denying self-responsibility for?


In looking at the word "Deny", the definition that comes to my attention is: Refuse to give or grant (something requested or desired) to (someone).

This opened up the point of self-reflection on change here that is great and the application of self-forgiveness as a pivotal tool in supporting the forward movement and commitment statements to actually manifest great physical changes here.

The point also became more obvious that I am the starting point of giving here, as I am Forgiving...and this is such a cool realization in recognizing that we get to gift to ourselves that which we actually want, need and desire because we are the starting point of what it is in fact we accept and allow ourself to be given...as we are forgiven by our self here...self-responsibility to actually give to ourselves here.

We are here to give as to give is to live...and it starts with understanding how to self-forgive....because this is a basic tool in and as Self Living Here.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for denying myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for choosing to deny self-responsibility here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the absurd ridiculousness of denial that is perpetuated as a result of accepted and allowed fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for hiding from my potential as a result of accepting and allowing myself for choosing to deny the living of my utmost potential always.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging my potential.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for denying myself the privilege and opportunity to forgive myself for my acceptances and allowances that are less than the best.  I commit myself to follow up on my self-forgiveness statements with self-commitment statements as I realize and understand that forgiving myself is a stepping stone in actually enabling myself to move for real change that is best.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting change that is best for me and all Life here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for denying myself access to Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting my Life and therefore the Lives of others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the regard that I live for myself reflects the regard that I have for others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to bullshit myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for denying the facts of physical reality here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying and perpetuating deniability within myself by deliberately choosing to distract myself from and as the self-corrections I would like to make in my life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for sabotaging myself within and as self-denial.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding self-denial.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for going along with the attitude of "deny, deny, deny"....."protect the lie at all costs...can't get in trouble when and as you don't admit fault"...it's always best to deny deny deny"

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for denying myself from myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to neglect and deny self-responsibility for all of my thoughts/feelings/emotions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for choosing to believe that I am free to deny taking accountability for which ever thoughts/feelings/emotions I decide I don't want to deal with.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing there is freedom in avoiding self-responsibility / self-accountability for my acceptances and allowances here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having some anger in seeing points of self-denial within myself.

I realize that actually seeing points that I was previously denying is cool from the perspective of OK, now I see what I was missing before...so no need to cause myself any harm....best to actually be grateful for what it is I see and realize and commit myself to change that is best.

I commit myself to stop taking offense to new information I am realizing.

I commit myself to self-correcting points of self-denial.

I commit myself to stop self-denial.

I commit myself to facing and stopping every point of self-denial within myself.

I commit myself to stop fearing the truth of my acceptances and allowances.

Day 683 - Solution Focus

It's interesting to see how our Attitude effects our ability to focus solutions that are best. Gratitude is the Attitude...the One and only really...

Because, have a look....

Anything less than gratitude as the attitude...puts in you a fear state of sorts as less than the potential of response abled awareness.

I've noticed that my response abled applications are totally suppressed when my attitude is anything less than gratitude. Like moving in a point is much more arduous and the temptation to quit and give up before beginning to move effectively is overwhelming.

What's interesting is that having a positive outlook is beneficial to actually learning anything within that which you are participating. Having a negative attitude about participating in anything...is like making the decision to kill your potential before you have even given yourself permission to explore the possibilities within your potential.  It's interesting because this is a point of attitude. Positive attitude fits in with gratitude and appreciation. Whereas, a negative attitude is lack there of appreciation and regard for the potential opportunities that have been bestowed to you. See it's interesting that our ability to actually create and have access to great things is so much in the attitude we allow ourselves to exist within.

Let me give you some examples.


My French language skills are very poor. Yet I had opportunity to have excellent French language skills. I was exposed to much French Language education in school....more english than french...yet opportunity existed at one point had I shown a promising development in french language skills, that I could have made a transition in having more french time and less english time at school.  I however made a decision early on in my elementary education that french isn't worth my time...that I don't want to learn French....french is stupid...I just want more physical education....gym class...

I can even recall goofing of in french classes to such a degree where I was encouraging others to compete with me in seeing who get the lowest scores on the french tests....


 I had an awful attitude about learning french. I had my justifications as to why my attitude about learning french was the way it was. And, logically speaking it made sense to me.  So, I could rationalize my justifications to have a negative attitude and a blatant disregard about the opportunity to learn french. It's interesting because I made french to be like an enemy of me...where I believed that if french didn't exist...or was not necessary as a subject in the school I was attending, than I would have had more gym class.

Similar story with learning piano. I had piano lessons when I was in elementary school. I had a terrible attitude towards taking piano lessons. This negative attitude killed my development potential in piano. I took piano for 2 or 3 years and my development was minimal because I had created a terrible relationship towards learning how to play piano. I did not care about learning piano. Looking back upon my childhood it is unfortunate that I squandered such an opportunity because the opportunity was presented to me...and all I had to do was participate within and as gratitude being my great attitude. However I had made a point of being in conflict with piano...because I placed learning piano to be in opposition with other things I defined to be more worthy of my time...so, ironically in my attempt to spite my parents, I spited myself. Which goes to show...if you treat yourself great....You actually can and will treat others great. Though, it is also true...if you treat yourself like shit...you will treat others like shit...and vice versa. Treating others poorly reflections a poor relationship with oneself.



Throughout my life, in successfully learning and developing any skill, there have been some common characteristics/criteria involved....which include: Wanting to learn, a positive regard towards the point in question, being focused on solutions...as like how I could achieve particular end results/goals/skills...a committed determination that this is something that I am interested in and I will get it...I know I got this in me...I can do this...I am doing this...there is no doubt about it, confidence, lack of fear, persistence, enjoyment, curiosity...A will to learn.

A will to learn.

A will to learn.

A will to learn.


This is the Solution Focus.

The Solution Focus as A Will to Learn, can also be regarded as Creation or Growth development.


To Be Continued


A cool Ted Talk that I watched today that relates to my sharing here today can be viewed at the following link.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4tkkL9w2pw8

Day 678 - Effort

Continuing from, Day 677 - Effort-full


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting caught within the polarization of the word Effort from the perspective of trying to decide which is better of worse...things to require effort or without effort....like effort-full or effortless.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for associating effort with movement...and within this attaching a negative charge...where I have created a resistance to actually moving myself within points as a result of believing and experience negative emotion towards requiring effort to actually move myself within things.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having polarized my effort participations....where I have been effort-full in various applications....working very hard. And, in many other instances....doing almost nothing...virtually putting in no effort into particular relationship developments and living responsibilities. The contrast of doing my best work and my worst work....where it's like maximum effort in some applications and a most minimal effort in other applications....as like the very bare minimum.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have created a fight or flight type of survival relationship with the word "effort"...where it's like...OK...I will live/give effort if I believe it is absolutely necessary from the perspective of my immediate and relatively near future depends upon it....so like if I believe my survival is threatened....than it;s like I thrive in doing what I believe to be necessary. Otherwise....I believe...what is the bother....I don't really require to move....because no imminent threat/consequence that will jeopardize my immediate and relatively soon future survival.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for participating in a relationship with Effort from the perspective of short sightedness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the difficulty within actually and practically living a word effectively, when and as the word has emotional connotations rooted in the fear for survival.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I had impaired my full potential to express and live my best efforts as a result of justifying whether or not I should exercise my best efforts within my sharing and caring for myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the sharing and caring that encompasses the practical daily living application of Effort.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being negligent in my relationship towards practically living Effort.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being shocked with the absurd ridiculousness of actually seeing how I make believed a condition of learning impairment....where my actual effectiveness in learning and expressing myself was dependent upon my emotional disposition.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resistance to living Effort as always best for Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for abusing myself and others as a result of neglecting to live Effort in always Best always all ways.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the absurd ridiculousness of actually making an effort to avoid effort in life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing the irony within making a big Effort about Effort.

When and as I see myself faced with a moment where I am resisting to apply Effort, I stop and breathe....I see/realize and understand that I am faced with a moment where I have the opportunity to learn from my mistake and actually correct/remediate a contaminated relationship towards a particular point. I create the perfect correction as a result of giving forth my best effort in taking responsibility to do what needs to be done.

I commit myself to sharing my realizations about Effort and my past relationship suppressions within and as the point of Effort.

I commit myself to expanding my practical living application of Effort.

I commit myself to growing my expression of Effort.

I realize my Effort is the strength of my overall character here, both inside and outside.

I realize my self-responsibility to live/give my best Efforts...And, I realize Sharing and Caring are Paramount for Life Sustainability Here.

I commit myself to Life Sustainability as the Effort required to practically live/express/give as I would like to receive the realization that Sharing and Caring is Paramount Here.

I commit myself to Sharing and Caring as Paramount Here.

I commit myself to practically live to give....realizing that Life self-expression as who I am here is in and as the gifting.

I realize a strong depth of gratitude for the effort I have put into writing Self-Forgiveness.

Day 636 Relation Dynamics

Day by Day I am really beginning to appreciate all the moments of sharing that happen throughout the day. What I am realizing and understanding is how many moments are present to fully appreciate as a result of being here in myphysical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having disregarded the simplicity of physical participation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how small adjustments makes huge improvements.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the amount of assistance and support I receive in my environment is always in fact equal to that which I in fact give to myself....actually...it's like the more I support myself, the more and more and more support and assistance that is available to me from those I share my environment with.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I am receiving assistance and support when I am giving assistance and support.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding myself within Everything Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for participating within excuses and justifications that distract me from connecting/sharing/seeing a moment of support and assistance that is presented to me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for obsessing about the differences within people,...and within this not realizing and understanding the moments of self-reflection that are being presented to me here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to neglect the similarities that exist here within people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get lost within fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the nature of my existence here as like a holographic self-reflection.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for perpetuating inequality within and as our shared reality here as a result of accepting and allowing myself to exist within and as a fearful/survival mind set....of winners and losers.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I suppressed my abilities to effectively express myself as Who I really am within and as I harbored tidbits of self-righteous/Inferior Judgments/comparisons about others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting the practical living support within and as the words "solidarity" and "camaraderie".

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having feared to stand together with and as all of humanity here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to stand in front of the group as like a part of the circle as All as One and Equal Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for arguing/fighting with myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how dependent I became upon fighting within myself as a source of my attention.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have existed in separation from all of existence as a result of my fears of expressing myself here from moment to moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the absurdity of my relationship dynamics existing from within and as the depths of fear/survival...where and as suppressing self-expression makes sense and is justified within and as the self-deception of believing that I am right in my action/behavior.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how the ability to self-express myself here exists beyond the morality judgement of right and wrong.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having logically reasoned to make sense of my actions from and as a poverty/slave-master mind-set where my actions believable and justified.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing the on going and continuous commitment of moment to moment management and application where I am existing in real time physical reality and I stand as the epitome of responsibility...as I exhibit extraordinary ability to respond in the moment within and as the awesomeness of myself-expression here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having feared to risk self-expressing myself within particular moments...out of fear that I will be judged/not well regarded....I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding how within these particular moments I was in fact revealing to myself that I was in fact judging myself with low-regard and lack of self-worth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having disregarded myself within the realms of self-judgement...as like a justified self-induced separation from and as myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for pulling and pushing myself apart.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I pushed and pulled a part the relationships in my immediate environment as a direct reflection of and as how I was pushing and pulling myself a part, within and as attempts to escape my acceptances and allowances....without self-forgiving my opinions about myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how much I learn from and as communication.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent of my communication as a basic reflection and example of and as my ability to self-express myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for censoring communication out of fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how my communication has primarily existed within and as the starting point of fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing it is necessary to fear communicating.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for doubting my decisions when the decisions I make conflict with the general attitudes and directions of my environment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding my tremendous ability to relate points to one another as like having a great ability to forge bonds/connections here by illustrating the similarities within a point that is often missed when the focal point is to look at the separation existent. I see/realize and understand how to in fact remove the separation and strengthen the building of connections here that are best for life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the answers and solutions existing here as Our Physical Self-Reflection of and as Our Image and Likeness here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for over complicating the simplicity of things.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying and reasoning the need and a fascination to obsess and possess myself about and within relationships that I desire.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the mindfuck within obsessing over a particular point...as like how within and as this obsession...there is in fact a justification that is not seen/realized...as the obsession veils the justification.

When and as I see myself experiencing myself to be stuck within a point...as like a reluctance to move myself out of the point, I stop and breathe, I see/realize/understand that by beginning with a small adjustment,...that this is in fact the pivotal movement within and as self-direction/self-movement here as unconditional assistance and support.

I commit myself to the pivotal movement within and as self-direction/self-movement.

I commit myself to stop fearing to express myself in moments when and as I see I am faced with a point of suppression/fear/judgement/doubt/worry/justification.

When and as I see myself complicating things within my mind as a result of obsessing within thought, I stop and breathe..as I see/realize and understand this small adjustment is a pivotal point in changing my course of direction from self-suppression to self-expression.

I commit myself the the self-forgiveness and self-corrective application process in moment to moment application/self-expression of myself here.

I commit myself to removing all the manifested separation that exists within my mind.

Day 616 The Error in My Judgement

Within investigating the relationship dynamics I have with various people I am ashamed to see how I have limited the development of many prosperous life expanding relationships as a result of my accepted and allowed self-judgment. 

It's interesting to see how one's ability to have fulfilling relationships with beings is directly related to the point of "judgement". Specifically what I mean about judgement here, is with particular regards to one's personalized vocabulary. See, What I have noticed about myself is that my relationship with each and every word within myself reflects and illustrates my practical living effectiveness in and as my ability and capability in developing quality relationships with people in my reality. 

Meaning, if there is energetic polarization in my vocabulary...this is going to cause an inability for me to have genuine, effective, substantial, fulfilling, substantial, rewarding, supportive, assisting, and profoundly great relationships without self-imposed strain, tension, frustration, anger, irritation, and cognitive dissonance.

What is interesting to see here is how "justification" is a primary word of the individualized ego mentality of mind that has contributed in justifying my very own self-validated and self-defined vocabulary restraints.

Here's a little example and story to clarify the significance and importance of proper vocabulary alignment:

So, the word "alcohol"...I created many negative energetic charges in relationship and association to the word alcohol. Meaning I created an extensive amount of resistance around this particular word...to the point where for the most part I would disregard the majority of humanity who associate themselves with liking to drink alcohol. 

The consequence of such behaviour was the result of and as self-righteous justification. Interestingly enough within my mind, I believed my self-righteous justification to be logically reasoned within my mind as making sense because of how the word "alcohol" was accepted and allowed to exist within myself. What is interesting about the word "alcohol" and my experience with the word "alcohol"...is that basically I was holding onto extensive self-judgement/tension/strain in relationship to the word "alcohol"...where I in fact flip flopped from having initially regarded"alcohol" with positive energy.

See, my initial relationship with alcohol was from the starting point of regarding "alcohol" as something to do that is cool and is a way for me to have added courage within and as my socializing and expressing myself towards others...to the point where I in fact at one point in time regarded alcohol as my "liquid courage" and it was a social lubricant for me...making socializing a seemingly more natural process...because I had recognized that I had had some difficulty with socializing because I was at times shy and timid.

What is interesting about all this is that I never regarded the anger and frustration I harbored in relationship to this point. You see, because years later, I totally changed my stance about alcohol and my identity in relationship to alcohol. Also, I saw that I did not require alcohol to be comfortable within my own skin and that I did not see my initial relationship with alcohol as cool...as like, it was a form of a crutch...granted, I see and realize how a crutch can be a temporary point of assistance and support. 


To Be Continued:

Day 599 Certainty

So,

Sometimes I have found myself speaking from a point of uncertainty within myself. Like I am speaking to others from a starting point of treading lightly, like being overtly careful, due to having a fear of judgment inrelationship/association to the people I am speaking to. This can also be regarded as desiring a favorable response, wanting to be liked, wanting things to go your way, fearing conflict/disagreement/confrontation, lack of certainty within and as self-trust to speak from the heart as what is best for all. It's like a point of being in the middle of processing how to move about...a hesitance if you will...speaking without an all the way commitment to the speaking as a point of self-expression...kind of reactionary in nature due to being invested within the desire for positive reactions and being dreadful of negative reactions.

So,

Obviously this uncertainty within communication is absurdly ridiculous and is a complete hindrance on my ability to self-express myself free from fear.


So, 

Even just the tiniest little bit of judgement/fear/desire/doubt within our communication fucks with our ability to be certain about our self-direction within and as our self-expression from moment to moment.


So, 

I am looking at and investigating the word "Certainty".


So,


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting to realize and understand the practicality within aligning myself one and equal with "Certainty".

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting Certainty within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for trying to establish Certainty within myself without understanding and realizing the dimensional dynamics of uncertainty I have created within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the practicality of structuring my writing process around and within the process of specific word assistance and support, so that I am capable and able to take the specific words and immediately implant them into my daily living as seeds of assistance and support that will enhance and expand my ability to self-express myself here as what is best for all Life.


To be Continued

Day 595 Mourning Morning!

So,

Mourning sounds like Morning.

Mourning is what people typically do when someone they like/love dies.

Is it possible every time you wake up from sleeping, You die a little bit more?

I've heard it said that sleep is the cousin of death.

Interesting how many many many people are challenged by the waking up in the morning point.

Interesting how the word relationship to Morning may be be impacting how the practical living of the word Morning is put into application. It's like if a word exists within ourselves with a particular programmed behaviour condition/reaction/energy that can result in us not realizing and understanding why some things are so seemingly difficult.

The word "Morning" is a word I have not taken the time to really investigate and play with for myself within and as a point of self-in-to-me-I-see...hehehe....self-intimacy!

So,

As part of my playing around with the Morning I am taking it upon myself to begin my writing exploration and self-forgiveness process/applications...and self-corrections in the morning as a way of playing with me here in the Morning.

So,

More Ning!




To be continued

Day 587 Questions Give So Much Support

Continuing from my blog post, "Day 580 Gifting Myself Within Self-Reflection"


Here are questions that came up within me in my previous blog that require further investigation/exploration.


"Is it wrong for me to exist the way I have existed?"


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within the right/wrong frame of mind. I realize and understand that existing within and as the polarity equation of right/wrong frame of mind is not in fact what living life self-expression is in fact all about. I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of judging every action as right or wrong. I see and realize and understand this to be in fact a point of and as a conflicting reaction energy reality that perpetuates both the right and the wrong as like the right makes the wrong so and the wrong wouldn't be wrong without the right and it's just so limiting as like being caught within and as this inner turmoil war that is the fighting for peace as like trying to reconcile while not realising and understanding how holding the missile in pursuit of peace perpetuates the war of disregard within and as the two sides of the same coin kind of war that becomes a matter of subjective opinion that opens up and breeds questionable understanding because it creates and perpetuates this grey area mentality of this middle road delusion of the right and wrong being relative to where your standing and it's less than seeing the whole equation as it is what it is because of what is here and so, I commit myself to stop limiting myself within and as the self-appointed judgement upon my every action here as right or wrong within and as the realms of positive/negative energy persecution.

When and as I see myself questioning myself as am I right/wrong, I stop and breathe, I investigate why I am concerned with the valuation and definition upon a point of being defined as right and or wrong. I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of moving about from and as a starting point of justification...like justifying the right or the wrong. I commit myself to stop the fighting within myself as the right/wrong divide.


"Am I trying to justify self-interested pre-occupation when in fact I exist in a time/space reality that requires extensive assistance and support in re-aligning the framework rules to support what is best for all Life."

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying self-interested pre-occupations as a way to give myself an experience of contentment within and as a form of self-satisfaction that I am in fact right in doing what I am doing and therefore due to my righteousness I can garner a false sense of confidence because of the justification which I can utilize as the methodology to fuel the religion of self-belief from and as the perspective of my self versus your self as like this war/conflict that needs separation as the fuel/grease/oil to remain intact. I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of utilizing justification. I commit myself to stop searching for contentment and self-satisfaction. I commit myself to realizing and understanding myself as the source of and as content and satisfaction here. I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of creating a point outside of myself as the vehicle to transform the standing up of myself into and as physical sound ground in and as the harmonious balance of stability. I commit myself to trusting in and as physical self-expression as the key to me here in and as physical sound stability...existing beyond the limited dimensions of polarized energy equations of right versus wrong. I commit myself to practical living...and the question/answer to 'what is practical living' comes from within and as my self-trust here.

When and as I see myself consuming myself within self-interested pre-occupations that do not serve the best interest of all Life here, I stop and breathe, I investigate what I am avoiding to see, I face my accepted and allowed resistances/fears/conflicting energies and I take directive self-responsibility in sorting out the inequality that exists within myself. I commit myself to purifying my starting point for being/expressing myself here as Equality and Oneness.


To Be Continued with investigative exploration into and as the following quest-full questions:


"Do I fear letting go of my personal self-interest?"



"What else do I know besides my personal self-interest?"



"How would I exist here if I moved out of a desire based starting point of self-interest pre-occupation?"



"Should not the point of living here be for everyone to have the opportunity to investigate and explore their personal self-interests?"



"Why am I resistant to fully letting go of my personal self-interests when I know and realize our shared reality requires serious changes in order to assist and support all Life here as what is best? Would this not be a point of serious change?"



"Do I see how I argue for my own self-imposed limitation within justifying/desiring to spend my time within recreational/leisurely pursuits when our shared reality requires intensive labor investigative pursuits in order to stop the heinous abuse that is perpetuated as a result of disregarding what is best for all Life here?"



"Why have I allowed myself to regard my-self as separate from everything else here?"



"Is believing Self to be separate from everything else here  a way to justify the use of blame and abdication of personal self-responsibility and self-accountability?"



"Do I see how I have not really understood the extent of self-interest in the greatest most profound sense because I resisted living from the starting point of Equality and Oneness in every moment?"



"Do I see how self-interest from a starting point of self being separate from everything here creates a disharmony as a cognitive dissonance to the understanding and self-realization of what is best for all Life here...and how regard for self-interest in the most profound sense is the regard for what's best for all Life...as that's the best self-interest....the only real self-interest....because anything else is less than considering all Life One and Equal Here?"