Day 776 - The Ink in my Thinking as Personified Television

 



Thinking is something i have given much credence to.  I have placed so much value in thinking that it has been to my own detriment.  I'd like to make a distinction here between 'thinking' and 'looking', where thinking is a sort of random behavior without direction that we give attention to as like thoughts, things just pop up within our mind and as we give attention to it our mind continues to move and build momentum and increase it's activity production output as going deeper and deeper.  Where as 'Looking' is a self directed point of seeing into something that will often stem from a form of questioning. the question may be direct or indirectly asked within oneself as a sort of examination like process within getting to know/investigate a particular point.

For myself, i can see i have very much allowed myself to blur the lines between self-directed 'looking' and 'thinking'....where the looking and the thinking can be very much regarded as the same thing....but also within the mix is the random reactionary thought that i have gotten into the patterned habit of examining, where it's like I stop what i am solely focused on and begin a sort of juggling act by giving a certain amount of attention to this 'new thought application'.  This 'thought application' is like a random virus in the sense that my connection to it is emotional/feeling based where it typical starts off with a very small charge/pulse about it....and i form a specific impression as a 'new thought/feeling-emotion/action-reaction' and from there do a sort of spiral inward into layering the point, where it's like a sort of zap/zing suppression that is kind of like lightening in a bottle in that it is is so intense yet small yet quick, yet powerful.

Fortunately I have the tools to sort out....self-correct such conditioned behavior.

Why would I want to correct such behavior / application within myself?
What's the point?

The point is Specificity and Accountability.  Meaning, to live and create the best version of myself here.

To elaborate,  My expression and ability to perform tasks to the best of my abilities is tainted within allowing myself to be very much 'distracted/possessed' within my own Thinking.

I have seen first hand how much my mobility is limited/halted within allowing myself to drift/wander/watch my thoughts brew about a particular topic.  For example, In tree planting...a job i have done for many years, my ability to move/flow with effortless efficiency is in direct correlation with presence/thoughtlessness of the moment, where i am so committed to my physical movement and am just so here within the expression of me moving, that there is no room for any other activity, nor need.   However...sometimes i would allow myself to be preoccupied with points of thought/ideas while moving/tree-planting...and the longer i allowed myself to focus on the thinking while moving/working, the more my performance suffered as tree-planting effortless efficiency, meaning my ability to plant a tree quickly slowed down...sometimes this slowing down in movement was only a fraction of a second, and sometimes it was more.  Ironically, I was typically more exhausted at the end of a tree-planting day when i had planted fewer trees and thought more.


To be Continued

Day 741 - When The Going Gets Tough – The Moment You're Tired

When The Going Gets Tough – The Moment You're Tired

So I am Here in this moment pushing myself to share a bit of myself here in further establishing a new consistency in writing my blogs. I have been looking at the dedication and determination within and as the Self-responsibility to actually walk appoint as the Self-Authority on making what happens Best…Best as in for myself and all others as myself here.

The point is clear here…that sharing is caring through writing antidotes of support as words that assist myself and others as myself. Therefore I see it is paramount that I push myself to make this writing happen on a daily basis.

I looked at the point of time practicality and that somebody's will be much more of a squeeze than other days. This is the nature of learning how to juggle the effectiveness of time management. I mean things wouldn’t bee challenging ever at times if there wasn’t any resistance to walk through.

This evening for instance am I quite tired and would like to get to sleep earlier than is usual. This is somewhat of a consequence of my previous day time management where I stayed on later than expected and had to get up quite early…and I had a full day of activity today. This here is like a point of parenting in a way….I mean if you have a child and the child needs attention and you are tired or were sleeping and the child is calling for you…..you may want to go to sleep but the self-authority point of self-responsibility as that which is always best is to tend to the child in the best practical ways.

I see myself as taking on the parental guidance of my own individual application. I mean I am an adult…yet I see and recognize the child within me as like I am an adult child in a way…as I very much am still intact within and as the playfulness that is a child. I see that we are all children in a way…where even though we grow old…there is still a childish nature about ourselves. This I see here where the harmony is key in and as the balance of self seriousness and self playfulness.

I am quite enjoying myself here as I flow out words a like a fountain of support that is me here taking step by step word by word to substantiate the strength of my character here in ways that are Best for myself and Everyone as myself here.

This writing here today is the push …as like I was facing the pull of the tiredness energy within myself and all the excuses were coming into my mind as like I need to go to sleep now…there’s not enough time for me to write today…I’ll just write double tomorrow as a way to make up for today….these points of immediate thoughts coming up within myself as a solution of sorts that I wasn’t even really looking for are a disguise and a veil of sorts….a trap …an entrapment…where it’s like subtle suggestions in a way to submit to less than the potential I am to stick to the dedication and determination that I am to write myself Here.

I see realize and understand how to push myself through a pull experience in the mind when and as the going gets tough and the mind wants a shutdown experience of suppression as like the overwhelming experience of tiredness where one can easily justify the death of self in a moment…where it’s like believed to be logically rational that one just physically can’t go on any further. I mean here is the self-honesty…this is the equation ….the solution….the Solution as what is best in fact…and here the support I utlize in the moment is the questions as point of assisted and supported guided direction as my moral compass if you will where I see if and as I am in fact capable and able to do more than what my mind as my internal gps system is suggesting for me as the direction for my Life.

I realize and understand that my potential ability and capability exists beyond what comes up in my mind. It is not to say that I can not have a cool supportive thought…or that all thoughts cannot be supportive in one way or another….the point I am emphasizing is the self-honesty within and as the assessment of moment management as the recognition of what is in fact my potential ability in this very moment as Me Here the standing epitome of and as Self-Responsibility.

I am noticing that great questions for myself are somewhat rhetorical as like a question and an exclamation because I see here within and as this regard…that I am so much more than what I have ever believed that I am…and this is fascinating because I am beginning to recognize myself Authority as the writer/player/director that has so many solutions in any given moment as always all ways…and there is a lot of good ways/routes of assistance and support to aid in myself pushing myself as the resistance strength training where I prove to myself that I am in fact here as Substantial Endurance and Stamina and that physical ability far exceeds my thoughts and that I am just learning to get comfortable with the recognition that I am capable of more than I ever thought was possible for myself and all Life as myself here.

Life is remarkable as we are the writers that make the marks as how we exclaim ourselves to be so as the sewing things so as to how to have sown in the best possible ways the assistance and support that is substantially great to aid in the best development of Ourselves…our cells and the whole body of everyone here as to make the self-honest contribution to Life as the realization recognition and understanding of what it means for expression to exist as “I live to Give” At Your service as the best service to myself is the best service to You…as You is me in another Life and I am You in and as this Life.” Together we are both Here. Alone Here and All One together Individuals put together to share as the “I am Here to Give to Life as I am Life.”

To Be Continued J

Day 692 - Free Dumb of Speech....I Mean Free Doom....Freedom...

We live in interesting times. A time where we are faced with the question of, "what is and isn't acceptable behavior?"

It's interesting in looking at the topic of Freedom of Speech.  It's somewhat of a complex subject...yet the potential exists for it to be relatively simple.

I heard someone say that Freedom of speech is so controversial, because what is regarded as offensive and abusive to One person isn't necessarily abusive to another person.

It's like punching or slapping someone....some people might actually want you to do it....some might not really want you to do it, but they'll take it... and some will dish out a punch or slap of their own as a justified tit for tat kind of thing.An

What's interesting about this topic is the standards people have...as what is regarded as acceptable and not acceptable.

You may have heard the saying, "so and so has no filter"

Interesting to regard the fact that most water needs a filter to drink...if you didn't have a filter there would be too much non supportive things in the water....too much shit.

The point seems obvious about provisions of Freedom of Speech in regard to "Hate". Hate I see is and as where abuse originates from in speech. Hate is associated with violence...where the ends are believed to justify the means...or retribution and retaliation.

I am questioning here the general basics of how we typically communicate with one another. Like for instance, in specific regards to communication....the usage of opinion. I have generated some opinions within my writing here...and they are my statements of fact so to speak....but they are not actually absolute in terms of being this is this and only this kind of thing....I mean there is room for interpretation.

Do our opinions really matter when and as they are subjective?

Is this how Hate is created? Is Hate only ever Subjective? An Emotion?

Is this polarized also with Love? Is this subjective outlook of Love and Hate, problematic?

In choosing to Hate and choosing to Love....are we not less than our potential ability?

Is it a point of deception in choosing whether or not You will Love or Hate?

Why is a choice presented as a polarization of sorts...where it's like you either choose this or you choose this....either way you must make a choice?


Looking at "Freedom" and what does it really mean?  Isn't it interesting that when I look up the definition of freedom, there are so many definitions listed.....does this suggest that the very word relationship accepted within humanity in regards to freedom is complicated? Isn't war simply a result of complications? Isn't disease manifested as a result of physical body complications?

1.

the state of being free or at liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint:

He won his freedom after a retrial.

2.

exemption from external control, interference, regulation, etc.

3.

the power to determine action without restraint.

4.

political or national independence.

5.

personal liberty, as opposed to bondage or slavery:

a slave who bought his freedom.

6.

exemption from the presence of anything specified (usually followed byfrom):

freedom from fear.

7.

the absence of or release from ties, obligations, etc.

8.

ease or facility of movement or action:

to enjoy the freedom of living in the country.

9.

frankness of manner or speech.

10.

general exemption or immunity:

freedom from taxation.

11.

the absence of ceremony or reserve.

12.

a liberty taken.

13.

a particular immunity or privilege enjoyed, as by a city or corporation:

freedom to levy taxes.

14.

civil liberty, as opposed to subjection to an arbitrary or despotic government.

15.

the right to enjoy all the privileges or special rights of citizenship,membership, etc., in a community or the like.

16.

the right to frequent, enjoy, or use at will:

to have the freedom of a friend's library.

17.

Philosophy. the power to exercise choice and make decisions without constraint  from within or without; autonomy; self-determination.

Compare necessity (def 7).

See the Free within Freedom.....Notice the practical value of Free...I mean free is kind of synonymous with the number zero....because each represents/symbolizes Nothingness...a value is therefore absent in and as it's worth.

I find the whole notion of Freedom mildly entertaining as like there is all sorts of irony about it. This is a tragic comedy really.

Fighting for freedom is paradoxical....because it is like a dog chasing it's tail....the one is the other! Wait what? the dog is the tail and the tail is part of the dog....the tail and the dog are one?....Huh? Wait, what? Freedom and Fighting are the same thing? How so? Freedom is the choice to fight....freedom is in it's very nature a conflict of sorts...where decisions are made from and as the starting point of conflict....where there is a recognition of conflict and the decision to distance oneself from it...as like nah, not my problem....not going to take responsibility.....I choose self interest...I am free to do whatever I want....I want what I want.

Imagine if the sun was free to not work and and take vacations whenever?

What about your heart deciding to fuck off just because?

What about your legs decide to just stop working?

What about your eyeballs deciding they want to take a vacation and pop out of your skull?

Why should we humans be any different in and as our capacity for responsibility than the sum of our body parts?

Isn't it interesting that there is so much hoopla about freedom...when really this is a point that arguably contributes to the destruction of physical loving actions made visible as the acknowledgement and regard for the value of all life here.

Do you see how we humans have been conditioned to be in conflict with the regard and value for all Life here....beginning with our very self....cells here?

Notice the conflict that exists within and as the polarization of feelings and emotions.

Imagine the sun operating based on feelings and emotions that were always changing....like a bi-polar attitude flux of love/hate...where wanting to scorch and nurture...or like a good/bad duo....as like never really stable in and as its application? I mean what the fuck...right?

Is Freedom the enslavement to the acceptance and allowance of fear?

Think about it? Freedom....your free to feel how you want....free to do what you want....free to not listen to anyone else...free to choose....free ....free...free.....free dumb.....free doom..........fear is the freedom......it's like a control game really.....when you actually give up freedom you have freedom.....when you let go of desire you have desire.....when you give you get.....when you share you are cared for....when you live you in fact give.....in giving you get to live...

Freedom...in accepting and allowing anything and everything within yourself....freedom in chaos....freedom in an absence of principles/laws....order....harmony. Freedom in disharmony....freedom for disregard.....being free to regard...is not the same as practically living regard....because to practically live regard is beyond a choice....it's a commitment and responsibility....it's a realization.....what you see for real that is here.....it's passed the point of being able to choose whether or not you are able and or capable of seeing...you in fact in living your capability within and as your response ability...where responsibility is a loving action...where the physical actions are compassionately careful in nature as sharing is caring, a nurturing nourishment if you will. 

How have I been living freedom in the western world?  free to follow my desire that exists within my emotion/feeling predisposition as like giving all my attention to following along withing and as my train of thoughts....boarding and reboarding my thought trains when and as I feel like it...because the emotion and feeling act like the moral compass as the ultimate deciding factor as to how much I am interested in something is that buzz of the emotion and or feeling energy about the point...You know...like my focus is in relationship to my bliss....my energy....the memory relationships I have created in relationship to specific experiences as events therefore shaping and dictating my future governing of myself here. 

Isn't it interesting how specific events in history or perpetuating as landmark significance...and even celebrated on a yearly basis...as like to encourage a remembering and systematic upgrade coding and programming structure of perspective of how things are accepted and allowed to exist.

Isn't it interesting to actually investigate the very nature of our individual acceptances and allowances?

Isn't it interesting to see that our "programmed" self interest has been based on and in our mind consciousness freedom...where we as a mind consciousness system were free to choose....or shall I say free to believe in choice...as the thinking we have choice and freedom in particular matters...as like to believe that we exist here beyond the makeup of our information coding and actually dismissing the very facts of our acceptances and allowances that we fear to face about the history of self here...as an individual story that is collectively shared in various capacities...because each is a contributing player in and as the overall creation/structure here.

More Irony in relationship to Freedom....Nothing in this world is free.....funny statement here....because nothing is nothing...and this world is everything/everyone....and free is also a synonym of nothing...sharing/denoting the same value of zero in regard/relationship to money.

So this fighting for freedom has been like the destruction of life value and regard.  Freedom is such a word of abuse....does it really even need to exist....arguably one of the most abusive words to exist.....I mean really can greatness be practically lived when and as Freedom exists?  Well, I say No. Why? Look at the physical functioning of our body parts....does freedom exist there....no ....responsibility exists in replace of freedom....it's like being dumb is a choice and this is where the whole "freedom debacle" originated from....it's really a result of the information/education we bought into....it's like placing the value and regard outside of ourselves as a result of not realizing and understanding the extent of ourselves here and therefore our very mirrored reflections...self reflections have been negated and we have most unfortunately done harm unto ourselves and each other here.

Enough is enough....end the freedom brigade and take responsibility for the world system in which you are a part of....join the system and therefore empower yourself as actually being able to direct problems into solutions that are best....I mean this is real alchemy...where you can actually practically change the physical structure of the systems here to that which is best.

How we change our accountability and our actually grounding responsibility here within and as our practical living realization of words as the seeing for real what has always been here....this is in fact our awareness.

To Be Continued

Day 682 - Reading into Reactions

Continuing from my previous post, Day 681 - Reading Ability


Have you ever questioned your Reactions?

Questioning your reactions is a way to Read into the explanation of your Reaction. What I find interesting about our Reactions is the opportunity that exists for a split second where we can actually see, understand, and realize within a point of awareness as to why we are in fact reacting. This is a split second moment. However, what is most fascinating, is the fact that following this split second of seeing why it is we in fact reacting to a particular situation....We have the opportunity to remediate the situation within ourselves. This is what I call real time self-correction.

How is this real-time self-correction practically applied?

If we regard our reactions as mistakes, the opportunity exists to learn from our mistakes immediately, so that we do not require to repeat the same mistake over and over.

The quick and easy solution to sorting out our mistakes/reactions in real-time is to take a split second...maybe even a couple of seconds after realizing the extent of why it is you in fact reacted....and Forgive yourself for 'accepting and allowing yourself to react in the way that you specifically realized'.......being specific here is key...because in specifically seeing the mistake you made....you are correcting this particular patterned program within yourself....that has been essentially running within you realizing it...and or not understanding how to actually circumvent the reactive continuation playout of a particular programmed script within yourself.

What I do, after I have forgiven myself in the moment, Is I create a script as a practical living solution...application that I can utilize when I am faced with a similar moment where I previously reacted.

For example, the other day I was in my backyard with my dog and I was looking towards one of the neighbors houses. I have not met this particular neighbor. Anyways, the neighbor opened the door and he was looking back at me...I think, he too was letting his dog outside...however from where I was looking I couldn't see his dog...though fairly certain he has a dog. Anyways, he was looking at me for a moment....and then I considered waving...and then I just reacted and looked away....and then he closed his door and that was that. I could see here in that moment that I had a resistance towards waving to my neighbor....that I want into a fear reaction and turned away...as to avoid a moment of confrontation...funny...because had I actually waved...I may have been faced with a smile and a wave looking back at me...possibly a friendly comment....or perhaps the neighbor would not even have noticed because he wasn't wearing his glasses and he can't see anything without them.

What I did, was recognized....read my reaction....see the mistake/suppression of my potential expression. Then I forgave myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to wave at somebody who is looking at me who I am also looking at.

I forgive myself for reacting in fear when and as I was faced with the opportunity to wave at my neighbor.

I forgive myself for reacting in fear to waving at my neighbor and turning my head away to avoid eye contact.

When and as I am faced with an opportunity to wave at my neighbor, where we are both looking at each other from a distance, I take a breath, smile and hold my hand up high and wave at my neighbor. I realize it is fun and enjoyable to acknowledge my neighbors and say Hi.

I commit myself to being friendly.



So here is an example template solution as how to effectively read into a reaction....remediate the reaction...and see how one is able to unlock the potential for self-expression in a future moment as a result of taking responsibility for the reaction in the moment. A practical living learning from our mistake if you will.

Best Regards.

Day 662 - Habit Change and Routine

I've been investigating the point of "habit" and "routine".  I've noticed an interesting thing within these investigations. Making an adjustment to a habit and routine...can carry over into influencing other areas of your life. Meaning that by adjusting a habit/routine with regards to one particular point...may actually have profound impact on assisting and supporting other areas of your life...like, a fine tuning occurs...so....by adjusting one area of yourself...you automatically are re-aligning/fine-tuning other areas of yourself....it's like, see/regard yourself as a musical instrument...and consider that by adjusting your particular playing ability....You change the overall nature of the game for you....like an expansion and increase in effectiveness occurs as a ripple effect...if you will...

So, the point of this blog here,....Is to open up the point....that,....making small...seemingly insignificant change within your daily routines....can have significantly profound results.

Obviously, the reverse is also true here.  By struggling with complications/problems/stress in one area of your life....this can cause a ripple effect...into a consequentially negative impact into other areas of your life.  Take a couple of examples here.....stress/problems at work....carrying over into personal relationship issues. Or financial issues...impacting marital issues. Or, for example....neglecting to make the bed in the morning and keeping the bedroom tidy...carrying over into and influencing the effectiveness within and as the structured organization of one's work/business. I've personally noticed a parallel with a messy room and a messy mind.

I've noticed/realized I am most effective within tasks/activities when I create specific structured routines and habits for myself. I am able to be most effective within this approach because I create a "in the zone" space for myself to move within. What is interesting about this "in the zone" space is that I move myself to exist beyond having the time to think so much and stew within thoughts/feelings/emotions.  See it's interesting here, because, by not giving the time and attention to wander within thought/feeling/emotion as I participant within events/moments....my awareness within my immediate physical environment and participation is heightened.  Within seemingly short tasks that may take only a matter of seconds...by remaining committed to the task at hand I am performing said tasks fractions of seconds faster...and in some particular instances...many seconds faster. Now, a few seconds saved here and there might not seem like a lot...but, when you consider that our whole day is structured within the time frame of a matter of seconds...it is apparent that every second counts in doing the math in accumulating all the seconds within our 24 hour day.

To Be Continued

Day 652 The Art of Communication

Effective communication is like a communion of action where there is a coming together in and as an agreement. What I find fascinating about this is the very fact that this is based on comprehension of what is being said/articulated. Meaning, there can be many different points of view and perspectives within and as the communication between people...and that is actually quite cool...in fact, this is a point of sharing in and as the expansion of self-development here...where our world expands in and as the seeing of a new perspective about a point. And from this perspective here...the communication is not a battle/argument/conflict....it is an exchange of information from the starting point that sharing is caring...and sharing and caring are fucking awesome.

It's interesting to see how there is difficulty in communication when one or more parties involved in communication take some sort of offense to specific information that is shared...like, a reaction to the information is usually in the form of offense/defense...where the information is essentially not comprehended and processed effectively within one's mind....which creates a disharmony of sorts....which results in a temporary misalignment within the potential harmony and rhythm of the sharing exchange and transference of information.

What is so fascinating about communication is our movement. Whether it be verbal or non-verbal.

It has become self-evident to me that when a point is not comprehended effectively there is a reaction which results in a particular energetic movement within the body....and, this movement can be verbal or non-verbal. In becoming acutely aware of these energetic movements within self and therefore others here, one can stand within and as the self-responsibility of directing any and every disharmony that occurs within the sharing of information.

What is fascinating about taking self-responsibility, is that we in fact enable our ability to respond/communicate effectively. Ironically, without gifting and giving ourself the responsibility to self-correct and remove points of dissonance/disharmony as moments of energetic reaction,...One's ability to hear and be heard here is suppressed....which is a most unfortunate mind fuck, a tragic comedy really, because, ineffective communication is a mistake and contamination in and as one's own relationship with words/Self here.

I have noticed that within one's immediate family....there can be much disharmony in communication...because there is so much emotion and feeling related to one another....which makes the energetic reactions in and as voice tonality greater/stronger...because the charges against oneself are so much more extreme and there has been such a build of emotion and feeling within the memories of each family member....that one is often much more easily triggered when another family member speaks to them. I heard something said along the lines of, "end war in the family....and there will be no war in the world" This is a fascinating exposure here because essentially the war that exists externally throughout the World is a total mirror and self-reflection of the war of words that exist within ourselves here. So, as we take responsibility for our words and actions here, we take responsibility in remediating the war/conflicts that exist here....because the wars and conflicts that exist are in fact nothing more than a consequential outflow of improper comprehension of vocabulary.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting in moments of communication as a point of impatience...in not wanting to really shut up and listen and receive what is being shared with me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being self-righteous within communication from and as the perspective of not wanting to take the time to listen and actually process and comprehend what is being shared with me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying moments of blame within communication as a result of validating the use of judgement as a self-defense mechanism to super impose the position of blame. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how communication is in fact a simple point of sharing and that communication only becomes difficult when one decided within one's mind that they do not want to be patient and self-responsible within giving and receiving as what is best for Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the art of communication.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for investing emotions and feeling about particular words/things/people/places/behaviors and actions to such an extent that I feared letting go of the emotion/feeling/investment/relationship I created.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for disregarding my verbal and non verbal communication.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be lazy within my communication.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for disregarding my sounds within sharing my sounds here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how a contaminated vocabulary results in and as the suppression of particular self-expressions here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to hear/listen to myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take offense and defense in relationship to seeing and hearing what is here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to battle myself within and as the suppression of my sound here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compromise and suppress my sound/movement/expression/beingness here within and as a result of participating within energetic reactions.

I see, realize and understand how energetic reactions are less than who I really am as Life.

I see, realize and understand how energetic reactions are the suppression of life substance here.

I see, realize and understand how to stop suppressing myself here.

I see, realize and understand how to direct/self-correct reactions/disharmony here.

I see, realize and understand the importance of self-responsibility within and as communication here.

I see, realize and understand how to communicate effectively.

I see, realize and understand the art of communication.

I see, realize and understand the 'art of communication' to be a point of self-movement/self-expression here as how we play.


I commit myself to playing,

I commit myself to assisting and supporting myself and others to make the best plays and be the best players here.

I commit myself to practically living awesomeness within and as communication.

I commit myself to sound communication as the self-realization that who I am as sound is beyond the self-imposed limitations of energetic reactions as emotion and feeling.

I commit myself to sharing my sounds/words/movements in ways that are best for all Life here.

I commit myself to living and applying the 'art of communication' as who and how I am here as the starting point of self-responsibility and self-awareness that always exists here beyond consciousness.

Day 649 Justifying Reactions is a Tragic Comedy

It's interesting to see how ridiculous it is to justify reactions. Like, for instance, in a moment where we act out an outlandish and ridiculous behaviour as a way to validate the emotion/feeling as a judgement we had created in relationship towards a past action.

I've noticed how I have had a tendency to make sense of an emotion/feeling/thought by perpetuating it...where I would justify it so to speak...as like a going into a make belief...making sense of the experience of myself by buying into participating within the reactionary energy...which is ridiculously absurd...because the reaction in the first place was and is always ridiculously absurd... and building off that as a result of creating more thoughts/feelings/emotions about it...just compounds one's mind fuck.

What I have noticed within this, is that there is in fact always a split second decision available to me where in fact I do not have to exist within and as reactionary energy...where I in fact have the opportunity to stop, breathe, see my initial reaction that has come up within me, let it go and learn from my mistake.

What is interesting about this is that in many instances there has been like an urge/justification within myself to follow out a reaction playout...as like this is a a way to assert my righteousness and feel good...like there is an initial shame within actually seeing my mistake/error/misunderstanding/reaction, and therefore wanting to shift away from the so called "bad" of this mistake/error/misunderstanding/reaction and into the "good"...and what is interesting about this is that there is nothing really "good" about perpetuating reactionary behaviour within myself...as this reactionary behaviour I have come to realize and understand is unnecessary stress/strain/abuse that is done unto the physical body.

I see/realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of wanting to showcase reactions towards particular situations as like a belief within needing to be self-righteous and prove myself..

I see/realize/understand how ridiculous it is to make the decision to lose control within reactions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how absurdly ridiculous it is to perpetuate participation within a reaction for even another moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how absurdly ridiculous it is to believe I need to qualify my reactions to others...as like I am selling them on buying into my perceptual mind fuck.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for choosing to play out a reaction energy as a manipulation tactic.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for manipulating my physical well being within reaction energy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying moments of reaction within myself by making the decision to perpetuate the experience of reaction within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for participating within negative/positive reactions in hope and desire of receiving a reaction from another that I can leverage to perpetuate a positive buzz within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself negating self-responsibility and accountability for all of my positive and negative reactions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being judgmental about mistakes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how my natural learning ability is suppressed within making the decision to be judgmental about my mistakes. I see/realize and understand how I am able to learn at my utmost potential when and as I embrace my mistakes, so that I see my reactions for what they were...so that I can perfect and direct my actions in a way that is best.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that I need to prove myself to myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying reactions as a necessary way of making sense of the experience of myself in a moment...as like a constant re-enforcement of programming conditions/restraints on myself expression here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being careless within and as participation within reactions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting the well being of myself and others within being self-righteous in making the choice to react in particular moments. I see/realize and understand how I am able and capable of making the decision to help my self by stopping to participate within the play of and as reactionary energy that has surfaced within my mind.

I commit myself to accountability for my actions.

I commit myself to learning from my mistakes/reactions without delay.

I commit myself to stop justifying reactions within myself.

I commit myself to stop seeking approval within and as participation within reactions.

I commit myself to stop creating a need to perpetuate reactions within myself.

I commit myself to exercising patience as I move through the depths of my mind and take self-responsibility and accountability for every moment of emotion/thought/feeling instability.

I commit myself to living self-stability as who/how I am here.

Day 643 - Make It Happen

It's interesting to examine how it is in fact that I am able to make things happen.

Many times I am faced with the point where a feeling/emotion/thought is presented as an obstacle to in fact making something in particular happen.

What I find interesting here is when and as I decide to let go of the thought/feeling/emotion and actually move myself beyond the limitation of the thought/feeling/emotion, I am in fact in the drivers seat so to speak to make "It" happen...like this is the point where I enable my ability to "create" here.

It's interesting to see how little I have actually directed for myself here from within and as the starting point of moving beyond thoughts/feelings/emotions as the points of limitation within and and as my actual physical movement here.

What I find interesting about the nature of thoughts/feelings/emotions is that it's like a self-induced hypnotic state/trance....and the decision exist within each individual here how long we in fact remain under the influence of our mind conditioning.

What I see here is cool, is the potential here for self-correction in every moment where we are faced with a point of resistance to "creating" and "expressing" self here within and as a point of self-movement/self-direction.

What is cool, is the self-satisfaction within actually making things happen as a result of moving beyond our self imposed limitation as the thought/feeling/emotions that bounds/binds us to self-manipulation/suppression/limitation/stuckness.

So,

A cool way to test and check this point for yourself is to, when you are faced with a task that you would in fact like to complete...but then a thought/feeling/emotion comes up as like a distraction as the "justification" to circumvent actual action within the point...to for a moment or a few moments...just look at the thought/feeling/emotion..and your experience within it...and actually relate/reflect it upon the point you in fact would actually like to make happen. What will become obvious here is that there is like a self-induced restraint and heaviness to actually being able to move into making the specific point happen...like, as long as attention is given to the thought/feeling/emotion that is "justifying" non action within a particular point of action...it's like by allowing the thought/feeling/emotion to remain here...it's a point of actually acting and accepting and allowing a "reason" and "justification" to exist as the self-hypnotic spell that keeps one from being able to effectively and efficiently self-direct and self-move here within a capacity to actually "make happen" what it is in fact you would actually like to "make happen".

So,

For an example, say you are going to do the dishes...and a thought comes up that says, "i'll just watch a show before I do the dishes"...try pausing for a moment...notice here this is a point where it's like you almost don't know what to do...because the fact that the thought came up...reflects a consideration in moving in a particular way...and the fact that you just paused...is like enabling you to see...that there is in fact still a pull/push towards the thought which is connected as a feeling/emotion.

Now, Commit yourself to moving on the point of actually just doing the dishes...and see what happens...like is there any more thoughts/feelings/emotions that come up...see here how we can move beyond our mind conditioning.

So,

This basic example illustrates how you can actually exist and operate/function here beyond automated reactions/directions as how you are suppose to move based upon the energy of a thought/feeling/emotion that you have previously created a relationship about within your mind.

Day 628 Conceited

It's Fun Funny and Cool to play with the sounding of words to see what is sometimes missed within and as the actuality of what is here in and as a word relationship as how the letters come together in producing a structured sound expression.

I'm looking at the word "Conceited" Because this is a self-defensive word I have utilized as a tool to propagate the religion of myself as being Superior in competition/comparison/judgement to others. Interestingly enough, this reveals low/inflated self-worth. I believed that it was necessary to sell/promote my self-proclaimed greatness as a way to in fact achieve self-proclaimed greatness. Motivated within and as the desire to be be famous and regarded as Royalty in Superiority, I presented my beliefs/opinions whole heartily, triggering others to fuel my proclamations and stand with my behaviour/programming/words as a result of having the very same desires existent within themselves, however, not necessarily actively engaging desire to the extent in which I have been advocating/living.

CON-SEATED !!!

Notice also how the word "Cite" and "Cited" exists within and as the word "Conceited" and how the spelling of "Cited" is rearranged to spell "Ceited"...as "Con + Ceited = ConSeated"

It's Funny to see the actual play out of Conceited behaviour because it's like trying to encourage a hypnotic trance into getting what you want...Like instead of Asking for what it is that You would Like to Receive, there is this belief that if I deceive and I believe in what is is I am deceiving about...I will Achieve the result I am seeking without being direct in my asking for it...interestingly enough this behaviour is like a "beating around the bush" type of mentality that is the direct result of self-manipulation as a result of the accepted and allowed Fear of Inferiority.

OK, Let's look at a very specific example here:

"Let me tell You how great I am. I am the Best at Everything. Everything I do, I am so good at...I have accomplished this and this and that and this...and let me go on and on about all the things I am capable of...Also that I am not not afraid of this and this and this...which is actually quite impressively and truly remarkable because pretty much everyone is afraid and I am not...I am actually so much better than You..."

OK, the point of my example here is to illustrate the specific nature of "Conceitedness", where a specific desire exists to be regarded/perceived/judged/worshiped/proclaimed/complimented in a particular manner...as like to specifically tell someone what it is You want to hear. I find this really funny, because the ridiculous absurdity of it is not heard at all within the speaker...as like there is a cognitive dissonance towards the joke/funny being parlayed here because of the serious nature of the speaker...as like the roots of the situation are seriously fucked...as Fear...is like fucking our Ears ability to Hear...and so, Fear, is like the price/FARE we pay/speak without realizing and understanding the seriousness and severity of and as our own current situation/problem...and thus we miss the Joke that we are, which in truth is Soooooooo Ridiculously Absurd that it is Funny. Albeit and Arguably So, the truth of Our-self is the Most Unfortunate Tragic Comedy Existence as a Whole has in fact ever Witnessed. Ironically enough, Seeing that our finger pointing judgement/comparison/competition has all been in vain, as the reality of the situation is that we've really just been finger blasting our own Asshole as we did not realize and understand our Equality and Oneness and therefore consequently became the manifestation of and as total fucking assholes here...Not realizing how we've proliferated the belief in our own BULLSHIT by finger fucking our own asshole within our self-judgement/comparison/competition believed and propagated inferiority/superiority complex conditioning behaviour mentality frame of mind.


To Be Continued