Day 783 - Real Time Learning/Movement is Always Here...Where Have I Been?

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create resistance and hesitance within my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand how much opportunity and support is available for me in every moment here in so many ways.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress Learning within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand my potential to Learn and for Learning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create judgements about learning particular things.....like thinking I can and cannot learn from so and so or such and and such.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself  to inferiorize my Learning and movement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand how I created stagnation within and as my learning as a result of accepting and allowing myself to Fear moving myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how synonymous Learning and Movement are.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lose sight of myself within and as Inferiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand the conditioning of inferiority as a built up resistance towards movement/participation within activities in this world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand the irony of Inferiority......where inferiority exists as a result of not physically moving oneself into a direction of self-accountability for one's acceptances and allowances in regards to a particular point....and therefore by choosing to 'not move', knot one's movement potential and response-ability...and therefore submit into the status of mind movement activity of inferiority as like creating one's own inner turmoil.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand my capacity to play and work effectively is very much directly related to my enjoyment and openness to Learning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be closed minded with regards to Learning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be self-righteous about Learning...and therfore ironically suppress my learning ability and potential.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for existing in conflict about Learning new things....where I have a resistance and hesitance to actually dare myself to move myself and play for the fun of it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress the fun within Learning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress the play within Learning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress my creativity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my creativity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself within learning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my appearance and vulnerability within learning something new.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to self-sabotage myself.

Day 781 - Go for It - The Movement and Moment of Doing

Taking the Time Here to Recognize the Act of Making something Happen....You know, that moment of Doing, That moment where you make the decision to move yourself for yourself....you know, because you see a possible play here and you want to make it work.....So, You go for it.

Now, timing is a funny thing in the act and moment of doing...because we play/work in time and it's the fine tuning of our actions in time that assists us in seeing the results of our creations here.  See, there is so many ways for us to move ourselves and some ways are more efficient and others are less efficient...and some just are not in relation to being efficient or inefficient....they just are simply what they are and there is no competition or friction about the play and working of oneself in motion here.

I'm recognizing a correlation within myself with regards to my attitude in mind and my ability to move myself physically. Like, specifically....what I mean is the me here within and as my Beingness here as the Player who exists within and as both Body and Mind...but is also the decision maker...and word regulator.....sound technician..the story writer author of my movement/physical life here.

Writing with this regard towards physical movment, sounds kind of strange and sort of obscure....because it's like a mind fuck of sorts that comes up within me...like this conscious thinking that i've always been moving myself this whole time...this whole life of mine.....But the reality  and truth of myself is in fact a lie of sorts, because I have come to understand that me as the Being Player here hasn't always been calling the shots and making the plays for myself here....it's like I've been taking orders from myself as my mind as consciousness/ego, a lesser version of the best of myself here as my Beingness Signature and Expression in every movement and moment.

I had a my weakness come through in my mind this evening as the thoughts about how I could let slide my writing of my blog this evening.  The fact of the matter here as me from the core of my Being here, is that I really do enjoy expressing myself through writing....I enjoy the flow of connecting my sounds through the addition of words in and as the formation of sentences coming together to share the flow that exists within and as the inside of me outside as like a sort of weather and temperature thing....the waterfall that is me. Hmmm, maybe i need to play and work within this temperature thing as the water that is me....that sounding of how that came out doesnt seem quite right....but hey maybe that's because there is an inkling of an inclination to stop myself and censor myself from actually moving myself within and as my words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stop myself from moving/living my potential as a result of not realizing and understanding the mechanics of  my mind consciousness programming where I talk myself out of doing/moving and continue within and as thinking within and as mind consciousness. I realize I am in the process of getting to know myself for real....because it's like to a certain extent as I aged throughout my life here...i learned to cover myself up and hide the truth of myself as like my Beingness sound signature here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being made fun of and being embarassed as a result of sounding unfamiliar and or out of tune with what is typically already known and obvious within and as basic programmed predicatable behavior.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist stepping outside of my comfort zone from the perspective of expanding my potential and my life as my home here...as like the movement of myself here within and as how i challenge myself-development here.  I commit myself to learning.  I commit myself to making improvements within and as my work and play time here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to understand and know the truth of myself here as words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sabotage myself within and as my words from and as the perspective of Ego Mind Consciousness as the real disregard for my well Being Here in and as my physical Body.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to neglect awareness for myself within and as word and world here as my vocabulary and my physicality here...as like all is part of my self/flesh here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the amount of times I make a mistake before I got the point within myself as a complete knowing and understanding that I can share and explain the various relationship dynamics/mechanics of and as the various states of motion that one can experience within and as the mistake where one reacts within  one of the many realms of intenseness as a result and consequence of our emotional outflow....where we are in fact allowing ourselves to be self-victimized by our very own reactions of Ego.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Fear letting my ego go.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not now what it is like to live always without  the thoughts of self-sabotage as the thinking my way out of doing something.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing nor understanding how the trap of my mind as ego within and as consciousnesses energy was to over think things for myself...as the specifics of talking my way out of actually doing anything....because you see...I am quite capable and able to talk my walk as i write myself here...and the fact of the matter is....that as I write...I see myself here for real...is like as I write...I can hear myself loud and clear...as like the me that has always been here...yearning to be heard as the voice that has been suppressed in favor of self-suppression as the fear ego mantra of submission in energy patterned behavior of various dimensions of polarized constructions, also know as the war between good and evil picked from the tree of knowledge.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand myself as the Tree here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to pick on myself and others from and as the starting point of bullying where I cut myself down as like not allowing myself to grow and develop where I have the potential to branch out and blossom in a whole assortment of ways that are seemingly unimaginable.  I realize myself here as a tree. I realize to see myself as what I previous could not perceive myself as, is a great assistance in expanding my perspective and perception of and as my capacity for developing my very own personal self-responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing nor understanding the terror of self-inferiorization....as the parasitic vampire like self-inflicted condition of twisting and turning words around within the mind to reflect the feeling and or emotion of the moment...and to be so convinced that is the totality of myself ability in the moment that I don't want to even question my status update, because the fear of not being real is so real that desire and urge to be accepted by anyone other than myself is so great....because ironically, the definition of authority has been transmuted outside of self...myself here.  I commit myself to re-establishing myself here as Authority and Author of myself here as the Director of myself here,,,and I commit myself to share with others how self-direction is a matter of self-regard and the willingness to speak for real on behalf of yourself here making a stand for all life here as one and equal.

I commit myself  to stop slacking off in regard for my words here...and within this i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to isolate myself into inaction as a result and consequence of fearing  the moment of moving myself within and as the practical application of myself living words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize and understand my creative capacity for self-developing solutions that are great.

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my potential here as a creative solution developer.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to disregard...and really disassociate myself with the word "Developer"

I commit myself to playing and working with the word  "Developer".

I commit myself to delving...and diving into and as the practical living of my potential within and as the word "developer"


To Be Continued

Day 768 - Lame Communication

 


I am working on developing my effectiveness in communication.  I see communication as Paramount.  Communication is Life. Communication is integral in building the best quality Life Here. Communication is Everything.


I bring up these seemingly obvious points about Communication here because I am taking a moment here to give regard to my accepted and allowed communication:

Some cool self reflection opened op for me today in hosting, "Desteni Movie Night Hangout -Cheech and Chong's Up in Smoke."
 My guest cancelled last minute / confused the start time.  This presented me with the opportunity to go it alone, and that I did.  I wasn't expecting to talk for 52 minutes, doing a monologue, I was expecting to have a conversation with my guest, asking and directing the response of questions, while making some comments here and there.

About 10 minutes or so in...and i think also sooner than that, the point came into mind that i am sort of bombing this hangout...like a little bit stumbling and bumbly with my word flow sharing expression and knowing where i want to go and take things....and also kind of placing a little bit of pressure/judgement upon myself as like I am doing this live without any preparation and nobody is tuning in live....'what's the point....my performance is kind of lame...not nearly as tight and polished as I could be...my flow is less than what I would regard as stellar...the experience of myself within this is somewhat challenging...as like bailing out would stop the bleeding, as like i am experiencing the wounds of my accpeted and allowed discomforts within expressing/communicating myself here unconditional on the spot without a preprogrammed rehearsal so that i can give a sort of automative predicatable performance that i know already.

So in looking at these points and having a real Care to push myself to continue on with the show, I showcased myself some weakeness in my communication.  This was really cool for myself as it was like a wow moment and an aha, as towards the end of the hanging there was a bit of a shit that happened within me as like finally coming into my confidence and and my flow/trust/expression was coming through a bit more.  I do see that this showing here on a whole was a bit of a flop from my perspective of being a solo performer doing a big set.  I mean how often is it that we put ourselves out there and monologue for 52 minutes? I found this to be a real tipping point for myself in my process here, as someone who is committed to the development and mastery of the law of my being here, as the practical living sound embodiment of words.  A word smith if you will...

I see the tremendous value in committing myself to vlogging as a process point of support for myself and others here.  I see that not doing this is a real know within the process of self-purification here.  I speak from experience as I created a sorted of justified censorship on speaking/sharing my voice publically out of concern for public judgment/ridicule/consequence.  Ultimately my reasoning was very much logical within my mind as the programming of my conditioned thinking...and this state of mind, kept me from noticing deficiencies within my word expressions here, and really has been a tragic comedy of sorts because my effectiveness in communication is less than my best potential at the moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the profound support within vlogging.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for dismissing the value within vlogging as a result of my accepted and allowed ego defense systems.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying a sort of self sacrifice of my potential out of fear for survival here, as like ways to prevent possible conflicting engagements that may require my response capable communication.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to see the points within myself that are lame.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to hide from what I have accepted and allowed that is lame.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing my self-regard to such an extent that I would justify remaining lame within points that could be development into a practical living potential.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for censoring myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have resisted to engage myself on points of self-suppression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not wanting to appear less than well developed within a point.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting the learning/birthing process here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding that paying attention here is the epitome of patience, and that to really pay attention is to in fact practically live the word care....and within the word care is where the fun is.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to mindfuck myself within and as how i think my communication should go.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to trust myself unconditionally here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying self-censorship as a means of avoiding and adverting conflict.

I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding how i have accepted and allowed myself to perpetuate the existence of conflict within myself by 'trying' to avoid conflict in communication with others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding my flexibility as self-responsibility here to actually and practically create solutions that are awesome in all ways here. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to live the patience required to actually Care to be here in this world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for pushing through my life without taking the time to care about what it is i am accepting and allowing within my thoughts/words/deeds.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying the reliance of others to stimulate my movement and communication here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent to which I have allowed myself to be dependent on existing in reaction here....as like mostly being moved as a result of the positive or negative i experience within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to really challenge my acceptances and allowances.  I realizing that engaging myself is a real practical way to live patience and self-intimacy here.  I realize that this is actually a lot of fun!

I commit myself to the process of developing myself in communication as thought, word and deed.

I commit myself to working and playing with my words.

I commit myself to trusting myself in thought/word/deed/

I commit myself to investigating my thoughts/words/deeds/

I realize the process of self-investigation as thoughts/words/deeds is a very fruitful opportunity, and I am grateful to give myself this opportunity that has so much potential.  I realize the potential is a result of my dedicated labor here.  I realize and understand the balance between work and play as like how the to can exist together complimentary and also as opposites in focused specificty...and i see how the words are in me always and that my fine tuning of moment to moment management is where my expression is as i get to direct the specifics of myself here.

I commit myself to vlogging.

I commit myself to sharing the self-realization that vlogging is a tremendous tool of profound support that is like one of the best gifts one can give to oneself here.

I commit myself to engaging myself to face the difficult points within myself and to from here, forgive myself and to create solutions for myself as new pathways of self-development in my personal process walking here.

I commit myself to using my voice as a point of self-reflection here.  I commit myself to self-investigation.

I commit myself to sharing Life regard.

I commit myself to engaging myself within and as Communication.

When and as I see myself resisting to do a vlog, I stop and breathe, I allow myself to make one.  I realize that making vlogging a regular part of my process here is awesome in all ways always.

I commit myself to the process of developing my self-expressions within vlogging.

I commit myself to stop fearing what other people think of me.

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to suppress my voice here.

I commit myself to developing and enhancing my voice here as a result of working and playing with my voice here.

I commit myself to practically living my voice here.

I realize and understand my voice to be a fantastic tool here to express myself within/as/without.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging/fearing lame communication.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing vulnerability in developing weaknesses into strengths.


I commit myself to stop resisting to face points that are difficult/awkward.  I commit myself to seek out points of resistance, that are lame and awkward within myself to in fact take these points on as seeds I will nurture into a practical living potential here.

I commit myself to word and world regard here as what is best for all Life.



'Lao Tzu, the ancient father of Taoism, put it: “Time is a created thing. To say ‘I don't have time,’ is like saying, ‘I don't want to.’”  Make the time to communicate'

Day 763 - What Moves You?

 


Have you ever noticed a pull or a push inside yourself towards or away from something....like a motivation or a lack of motivation to move/participate within something? Like for instance; to get up off the couch and clean the dishes....or getting out of bed and getting going.....or joining in for an activity you've been invited to participate within.

Have you ever noticed that you can actually take a moment and look at the pull/push that exists within you towards or away from participation within a particular point.....This Looking is a Real time Living in the Moment Look....And, within this seeing Here, there exists an opportunity to step out of the polarity flip flop of push/pull energetic definition.  How does this opportunity exist? The first step is in identifying, being honest about the push/pulll bias that exists....and then from here, deliberately challenging oneself to in the moment go beyond the barrier/control of the push/pull resistance that has been created in one's own mind as the programming definition.  It's interesting, because is like a point of swimming, because you are moving into new waters so to speak....it's funny because the water has always been here....and you've always had access to this area of swimming....yet due to the self imposed restraints....self has had restricted access and an accepted and allowed inability to actually express that response and ability and navigate through that space in time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I self-censor my response abilities to express myself and to create a world that is best for all life.

I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding that every time i submit myself into an accepted and allowed self-submission, as a real self-suppression....by resisting to stand out and direct myself out of being pulled or pushed into or out of something as like a sort of accepted and allowed fight and conflict within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being very very defensive about getting involved within things and participating within things that i am being asked to join in, and take part within.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing how defensive i can be within my mind of thoughts/feelings/emotions, and how so much so this has hindered my ability to really listen, look, and hear what is here....because of the accepted and allowed Fear/Defensiveness nature of my accepting and allowed mind conditioning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for tricking myself into my own self-victimization through a sort of buying into the belief of and as my very own justified self-righteous indignation that i have professed to myself as gospel as the making sense of the push/pull experience i find myself in.....and within this...I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not really even making sense of myself within my experiences...but rather contain myself in a sort of self-censorship bubble of my very own comfort zone.

I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of fearing to face my own discomfort.

I realize and understand how I have conditioned myself through my mind to self-censor my potential by defining my comfort zone within the spectrum of fear energy knowing control.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to lose control...I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how out of control this world/my life is within and as a result of being influenced to move only be a polarity friction.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing that this very movement is a grand statement of accepted and allowed suppression...lack of understanding.....fear.....self-victimization......mind control.

I commit myself to examining/investigating my self-defined boundaries as like the basis of my self-created bubble shield from all of existence here.

I commit myself to equalizing myself with all Life here.  I commit myself to removing the the conflict from myself as the walls/boundaries i have created as my defense system.

I commit myself to challenge and engage others to break through their self-created bubbles.

I commit myself to the process of self-movement.
I realize myself movement to by like an ongoing stretching of sorts as like it is challenging at times to push myself through my own stiffness/stubbornness/rigidness....and it;s actually like a labored stretch to move beyond the boundary i created myself to be stuck within....so the stretching i see is like a sort of climbing for myself....climbing up and out of self-created suppression/depression in various ways.

I realize this climbing within myself here as like the stretching movement, is so much so a self-direction in the moment....because i notice my body is always telling me where i am sort of out of alignment/strained within myself...and so the stretching movement...and directing myself into participating in different actions in my world, is like a sort of ironing out the kinks/dissonance within myself, as like the making and unfolding of actual potential here.  I commit myself to work/play with the process here of self-movement/self-direction.

Day 741 - When The Going Gets Tough – The Moment You're Tired

When The Going Gets Tough – The Moment You're Tired

So I am Here in this moment pushing myself to share a bit of myself here in further establishing a new consistency in writing my blogs. I have been looking at the dedication and determination within and as the Self-responsibility to actually walk appoint as the Self-Authority on making what happens Best…Best as in for myself and all others as myself here.

The point is clear here…that sharing is caring through writing antidotes of support as words that assist myself and others as myself. Therefore I see it is paramount that I push myself to make this writing happen on a daily basis.

I looked at the point of time practicality and that somebody's will be much more of a squeeze than other days. This is the nature of learning how to juggle the effectiveness of time management. I mean things wouldn’t bee challenging ever at times if there wasn’t any resistance to walk through.

This evening for instance am I quite tired and would like to get to sleep earlier than is usual. This is somewhat of a consequence of my previous day time management where I stayed on later than expected and had to get up quite early…and I had a full day of activity today. This here is like a point of parenting in a way….I mean if you have a child and the child needs attention and you are tired or were sleeping and the child is calling for you…..you may want to go to sleep but the self-authority point of self-responsibility as that which is always best is to tend to the child in the best practical ways.

I see myself as taking on the parental guidance of my own individual application. I mean I am an adult…yet I see and recognize the child within me as like I am an adult child in a way…as I very much am still intact within and as the playfulness that is a child. I see that we are all children in a way…where even though we grow old…there is still a childish nature about ourselves. This I see here where the harmony is key in and as the balance of self seriousness and self playfulness.

I am quite enjoying myself here as I flow out words a like a fountain of support that is me here taking step by step word by word to substantiate the strength of my character here in ways that are Best for myself and Everyone as myself here.

This writing here today is the push …as like I was facing the pull of the tiredness energy within myself and all the excuses were coming into my mind as like I need to go to sleep now…there’s not enough time for me to write today…I’ll just write double tomorrow as a way to make up for today….these points of immediate thoughts coming up within myself as a solution of sorts that I wasn’t even really looking for are a disguise and a veil of sorts….a trap …an entrapment…where it’s like subtle suggestions in a way to submit to less than the potential I am to stick to the dedication and determination that I am to write myself Here.

I see realize and understand how to push myself through a pull experience in the mind when and as the going gets tough and the mind wants a shutdown experience of suppression as like the overwhelming experience of tiredness where one can easily justify the death of self in a moment…where it’s like believed to be logically rational that one just physically can’t go on any further. I mean here is the self-honesty…this is the equation ….the solution….the Solution as what is best in fact…and here the support I utlize in the moment is the questions as point of assisted and supported guided direction as my moral compass if you will where I see if and as I am in fact capable and able to do more than what my mind as my internal gps system is suggesting for me as the direction for my Life.

I realize and understand that my potential ability and capability exists beyond what comes up in my mind. It is not to say that I can not have a cool supportive thought…or that all thoughts cannot be supportive in one way or another….the point I am emphasizing is the self-honesty within and as the assessment of moment management as the recognition of what is in fact my potential ability in this very moment as Me Here the standing epitome of and as Self-Responsibility.

I am noticing that great questions for myself are somewhat rhetorical as like a question and an exclamation because I see here within and as this regard…that I am so much more than what I have ever believed that I am…and this is fascinating because I am beginning to recognize myself Authority as the writer/player/director that has so many solutions in any given moment as always all ways…and there is a lot of good ways/routes of assistance and support to aid in myself pushing myself as the resistance strength training where I prove to myself that I am in fact here as Substantial Endurance and Stamina and that physical ability far exceeds my thoughts and that I am just learning to get comfortable with the recognition that I am capable of more than I ever thought was possible for myself and all Life as myself here.

Life is remarkable as we are the writers that make the marks as how we exclaim ourselves to be so as the sewing things so as to how to have sown in the best possible ways the assistance and support that is substantially great to aid in the best development of Ourselves…our cells and the whole body of everyone here as to make the self-honest contribution to Life as the realization recognition and understanding of what it means for expression to exist as “I live to Give” At Your service as the best service to myself is the best service to You…as You is me in another Life and I am You in and as this Life.” Together we are both Here. Alone Here and All One together Individuals put together to share as the “I am Here to Give to Life as I am Life.”

To Be Continued J

Day 734 - House Boat...Life Boat...Daily Applications at SEE

A point came up earlier as a point of of our individual lives from the perspective of House's here. This is a cool perspective. What is interesting about this perspective is that those of us who are adults....have to a certain extent or another....fixer uppers from the perspective that there is things within our life developments that we have accepted and allowed to exist within our House/Self here that is less than what is best for our Self/House. So with this perspective in mind, we can't just collapse/destroy our House and start over....because that's like giving up and dieing kind of thing....so we Are the fixer upper's and renovator's. Now this is quite interesting because the potential end result is the same as a blank slate fresh start creation....yet the process journey in getting to that fruition is a different path/harvest/renovation.

So, the question comes up:

How much focuses attention do you spend renovating/restoring your House/Self on a Daily Basis?


This was kind of like a wow question for myself....because the point comes up that I have been coping to a certain extent with my house/self here and not really pushing my house/self total potential. There's been a certain amount of complacency...as like existing within it it...and, kind of dwelling to a certain extent. Which is ironic, because the point does exist within me where I do want to renovate and expand my potential here. The point of preoccupation i see that I have given to much attention to is dwelling within myself/house as like making a big deal and giving to much attention to things that don't really need so much attention from the perspective of renovating and expanding my House/Life.

Let's look at one of the definitions of Dwelling :

Think, speak or write at length about (a particular subject, especially one that is a source of unhappiness, anxiety or dissatisfaction)


I bring attention here because it's a point of recognition to the ridiculousness in perpetuating the existence within Dwelling as a point of unhappiness, anxiety or dissatisfaction.  The irony here is that that the more one gives attention/thinking about that which is unhappy/anxiety/dissatisfaction.....the more one writes the story as the ink in which you think that stains you as the window panes that be your life vision as your in house / self insight as the very actual television programming that was told to oneself....day after day after day.

Next questions:

What do You tell yourself Everyday?

This is a point of practical consideration and regard.  The game plan if you will. The live action movie script and direction. The plans for the renovation....whether they are the day plans...or the grad plans of many days.


When do you take the time to write/plan/create the incoming days possibilities?

See there is a certain amount of advantage to having a game plan when you are here to get a job done. One is able to be more precise with the days movements and moments when and as one has already created and walked the simulation as the do it yourself how to.

Is the self-regard and consideration clear as to the actual benefit in taking the time for oneself to plan and in-vision the upcoming work to be done...and specifically creating the way in which to do it and actually seeing how to do it...so that the actual doing gets done...and it;s not like this stutter step that you don't want to take because you don't know because you didnt take the time to create a way for you moving play...


Can you treat the time like accounting?

Yes, have a look....time is creation potential here....and that is cash money.....because have a look....everything is life here....and to get basically anything here is cash/money....and yes....even the words within me are cash/money because it's the proficiency in the usage of my words that dictates my ability to receive cash/money....because very much so...the sewing of my labor as how I move is in and as the relationship to my words as the song that is sung within myself here from moment to moment as my ongoing movement.


What's interesting to consider here about this time like treat of accounting for the moment to moment management....is the recognition that the internal going on is a regulator of the external going on....and so it begins within to extend without. So, knowing this....it's in what one accepts and allows to play within oneself...as like the music workings going on...if the think as the thought is one's you wouldn't want to be caught with....destroy the evidence....delete it from the memory history as like get rid of it...so there;s no more repeating repeats that aren't worth repeating. In this way we can forgive ourselves for playing over and over a song that shouldn't be sung as like a waste of space....because really to think about the stink of a stench over and over and like sit within it without getting rid of it is....like, what the fuck....not cool....so face the heat or get cooked like a bad burn because you didn't recognize the chore in farming the manure or putting on the sunscreen of flipping over to even out the tan....you know things are all about a matter or timing...which brings me back to the starting point and the time management and regard recognition as like to support the specific implementation of points of planned responsible time from day to day as a way to for sure the proper cognition as sound mind music maker moving as the dance of live that is lived when you already know the verse as to how this responsibility can be conversed.

Final thought thinking's here as my celebration good bye as the great buy gold nugget to take away here......is the:

"Your Wish is Your Command"


and check it out....Realize...See for real....the Wish.....the Command....is Your Living Words! So Abracadabra is the meaning of Life here as the I speak what I create as the sound is sewn as the seeds that grow.....Abracadabra....Your wish is Your Command.....So, be filled with Care for What you wish for...and cultivate the caring regard for yourself daily as giving attention to the seeds you See as what you planted as the focused planning and remember you are the farmer/cultivator and curator of said results...so knowing this is like the great potential to fine tune greatness as enabling a certain level of room for adaptability for results that were not previously seen that are beyond the initial wish or planning but are in alignment with the sound structured greatness that you are....as it is all ours...Each Got it to give....so Give it to Yourself...the music ...the words....the talk...the walk...to make and create that which is great.


To Be Continued

Day 704 - Perfection

I noticed that I had created a polarity play within myself in regards to effectively living "perfection" without a bias and conflict.

Within reflecting upon my upbringing, I noticed I developed to a certain extent, the fear of making mistakes....or being wrong....and not wanting to be exposed as someone who doesn't know something or isn't very good at something. And on the flip side of this, existed the desire to be the best...perfection....being right....not making mistakes.

And if you look at the nature of this relationship interplay in regards to perfection...Fear is the root cause of such dissonance within myself, In seeing such fear within myself as like fear being on both sides of myself...it's kind of a paralyzing situation where there becomes a real stuckness. An example of this is like saying I'll go to the gym once I'm fit.....or, I'll start yoga once I'm flexible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for defining perfection within and as a positive energy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating fear within and as an extension of perfection.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as less than perfection.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create an experience of stuckness for myself in relationship to the point of perfection.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing failure and desiring success.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as less than success and perfection within and as being the best within and as points of participation here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating self-sabotage in relationship to my perception of perfection...and within this the fear of failure/mistakes and the desire for greatness/success.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for impairing my mobility...as like paralyzing my mobility in particular points of participation as a result of allowing myself to fear consequence and at the same time desiring to perform well within participations/performances.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I would create a stuckness for myself as like a non movement within points as a result of and as the acceptance and allowance of fear within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be limited in movement as a result of and as the experience of fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding my mobility and responsibility to actually in fact live perfection from and as a point of allowing myself to participate and perform tasks...and within this actually develop and hone my skills within particular areas of focus that are points of new development.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have impeded learning growth and development within myself as a result of accepting and allowing myself to be stuck within fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for choosing to be stuck within fear.

When and as I see myself stuck within and as my ability to effectively move within a point, I stop and breathe, I face the fear that I am accepting and allowing....I dare myself to move beyond the stuckness experience and actually participate....I see/realize and understand that I can in fact let go of the stuckness experience by making the decision to move myself within a moment and actually participate here within a particular area of focus where I have resistance towards...and that by doing so, I actually in fact remove the resistance and develop myself within the point...where in fact I open up the potential to live self-perfection....because by allowing myself to participate in movement here, I am able to fine tune my abilities by learning from my participations here.

I commit myself to participating here. I commit myself to movement here. I realize and understand life to exist within movement and growth. I commit myself to movement and growth.
I commit myself to develop and self-perfect myself within movement here.

Looking at the word Perfect.....

Perfect Ion....

Perfect I On....

Perfection sounds kind of like perception....and perfect reminds me of performance....and perception is in regards to seeing...and performance is in regards to the movement/participation within and as a point...and therefore by actually allowing myself to be the perfection within and as the moment of myself here...I am allowing myself to see as the self-realization of myself here...which is in fact my self-honesty.....which I in fact live and in fact am able to exercise as my expression within and as the self-trust to actually move/apply myself here within and as specific point of participation/expression here.

I realize the commitment in fact within and as the word perfection...as it's a total immersion within and as a point of participation ....and so it's like perfection is always here within and as everything...as like everything is perfectly in fact exactly what it is as each and everything thing is behaving/operating the way that it in fact is....because it is perfectly that.

Perfect can be in regards to good or bad. As like that is a perfect example of what to do....or that is a perfect example of what not do . Either way, you see both example of perfect here...as being perfect in regards to what exactly they were.

I understand that in point of self-development that one can in fact learn to expand points of perfection....and I see this as the process of self-perfection as the natural learning process....where one's best is able to become better...as an improvement where you become better than your best....

In looking up the dictionary definition of perfection...I see it is in relationship to the quality of being free from flaw...as like flawless....and what is interesting to regard about this is the interdependence upon flaws...to in become flawless...because flawless is to have less flaws than what you previously did...or to be without flaws...and to get to a point of being without flaws is the process of and as self-perfection...where one enables oneself to move freely within participation and therefore one in fact can remedy a flaw/mistake by enacting a self-correction which is really the epitome of living practically self-perfection...because this is where self-realization is lived physically...as it's taking the seeing of a point and moving and transforming the ability as like the effective usage and understanding of one's very own response abilities....and here is how it all comes together within and as self-responsibility.

Day 702 - The Movement of Doing

The movement of doing....sounds kind of funny to me, like a religious or new age type of thing.

I write the "movement of doing" here because I am looking at the actually physical movement within and as my participation within and as being here engaged within tasks/responsibilities/activities/chores....

the point as "the movement of doing" comes up within me because I was noticing how there is many points existent within me where I have looked at and considered.....looked  at and considered from the perspective of and as actually moving/participating within.....you know doing these things. So in looking at points that I have looked at...I see how there hasn't necessairly been good reason for an actual lack of movement doing within and as these particular points. It's like sometimes in mind I kind od get tuned out of physical participation in reality....where my participation is passive in a sense because I am just moving/looking at things within my mind....and not then taking this insight/perspective/consideration into and as an actual physical realization playout. Where it's like a i look at the simulation of myself within a point....see that it would be cool and then....it's like on the to do bucket list of sorts....and there is no particular purpose created about doing it.

I am looking at here my relationship effectiveness within and as actually doing the things I would like to do.....moving within these points....opening them up for really...by beginning the physical participation dialogue....

I have noticed that I have become some what obsessed with taking in information and looking at things...without actually necessarily doing anything with the information I have worked with....like I see here I am not maximizing my potential support and assistance for myself in others in this world...by actually sharing my self-reflections....insights...and actually daring myself to participate more within points of self-development....instead of just thinking/looking about doing it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for weighing myself down from the perspective of not actually moving myself to my potential abilities to actually participate within points of interest and responsibility to in fact stand as a pillar of support in my environment/world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating reasons, justifications and excuses as ways in which I am able to talk/think myself out of moving within points I have looked at and would like to do.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for continually taking on new points of information to look at and investigate without actually finishing my investigations within a particular area of study.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting the patience to stay disciplined within learning and exploring new points/self-realizations/participations here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold myself back from actually moving within and as doing something within and as a specific area of study....because I do not see the whole finished outcome of how my participation/creation will unfold/turnout.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing and not really understanding the depth of self trust required to actually give and grant oneself permission to move into and as a solution/creation without actually knowing every detailed specific of how the point in question will manifest itself here/

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for avoiding participation within points that are not already well developed within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having some fear/angst about new beginnings and unknown outcomes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be controlled by fear and angst.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for self-sabotaging myself here by victimizing myself within fault and wrong doing....where I see and realize my mistakes...and allow myself to haunt myself by and through my misdoings.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having an apprehensiveness towards misdoings.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing mistakes/misdoings

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for existing in a polarized relationship about perfection....where I hold myself back within the notion of perfectionism where I suppress myself before I even begin participating as a point of inferiority.....and also from the point of self sabotage....where I justify doing less than my best work/effort because of the the mentality that it's unnecessary and unrealistic to actual do my best work. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating conflict towards the point of perfection.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for defining perfection within and as positive energetic light and also to sometime allow the point to exist within and as a negative energetic charge,

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating an artificial movement within myself in relationship to the living of the word Perfection.

I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding how I exist within my mind/body as a sort of articicial intelligence when and as I accept myself to have energetic conditions and charges attached to words as like my private associations that dictate my reaction to their particular company presentation and representation in the world I see.

I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding how the accepted and allowed charges and conditions as particular energies associated with words has been a direct result of the experiences felt within and as my body as emotions and feelings and therefore within this...I have victimized my vocabulary to the point of contamination where it's like an unnatural...artificial expression of myself that is existent here....because I can see and realize how I have program coded myself with words from the starting point of limitation....where I have justified the logic as the laws/rules of and as my feelings/emotions relationship to the experiences that have developed within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to actually look at my word and world relationships on a daily basis as a point of word and world responsibility and relationship development and sustainability.

I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding that effective world sustainability is within and as the effectiveness of living words!

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for dismissing responsibility away from my inner world of word relationships....and rather only look outward at word and world relationships....where within this approach, missing the truth and tyranny of myself as the most unfortunate unlawful charges held against myself which are most unnecessary forms of self-imprisonment and victimized abuse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent of legal abuse done unto myself as my word relationship charges I hold against myself as the specific memory impressions of particular experiences that shape the resonant hold on my being/body/mind ability to move within and as the doing expression and creation of myself that is possible to exist here beyond the restraints of systematic coding structured energetic restraints


To be continued

Day 700 - Fortitude of Purpose

Purpose.

Fortitude.


Purpose plus fortitude is a formula strong in nature. I see purpose and fortitude together as one and equal as the infusion of Life all ways always in and as the movement of self here.

The question has come to my attention, "If you lack purpose, do you in fact lack quality of Life?"

"What is the fortitude of purpose?"

"Does having any purpose guarantee a high quality of life....or is there a certain fortitude required in order to insure creation of a high quality Life?"

"Is life meant to be high quality,,,and is it in fact a point of becoming aware of our fortitude of purpose...as like it's in us to give...as a result of what has been given to us?"



At different times in my life I have briefly reflected on what it is I want to do with my life. Interestingly enough, every time I had asked myself such a question and or reflected about such a question...my thinking was in an absolute sense...and I often had difficulty with this...the commitment aspect of making a decision that I felt I would be bound to once in fact I made it....and what was interesting is that it's like I've been looking for sometime throughout my life as something I can give to myself as a responsibility to walk indefinitely...a Purpose of Fortitude of You will as the Meaning I give to my Life Living daily application and expression of myself here.

Now, what has been peculiar within my process of self-reflection throughout the years is that I have allowed myself to get distracted and preoccupied with things. And in this doing, kind of allowed a procrastination to ensue about activating fully the Fortitude of Purpose I wish to give to myself.

Entertainment has been my primary source of distraction from and as the development of and as my self willed purpose of fortitude. Ironically enough, I have seeked  a plethora of avenues within entertainment as a means to finding what it is I would like to find...and that ultimately being my self-expression. What do I mean by my self-expression? Many many many things. Looking for substantial greatness in all things....Ironically this thirst for greatness in various modes of entertainment has been a result of holding myself back as great entertainer.

It's interesting, my writing here...because even as have just written the above paragraph...I faced immediate reaction, where, specifically I turned away and did not even want to look at the words I have written. Me a great entertainer? But why? Why is this I see as a point worthy of my attention...and to such an extent where I can claim a fortitude of purpose?

I see tremendous value in Education. This is a rather obvious point for many I am sure...in that most would agree with the tremendous value within and as Education.  I mean education is a point where really, I think everyone can agree upon the importance in and as it's value. I see Entertainment as a a medium of Education. Within this, I see that there is great responsibility in standing as an entertainer within this world....because not only is one providing entertainment as a point of fun to be had....but first and foremost the entertainer is an educator...a teacher.

I have been looking to lots of teacher's in this world....lots of entertainers to be what I think they can be...and this is not fair to any of them....for in this regard...I have placed expectations on others as separate from myself to be operating and performing of a high quality particular standard of greatness that I have not even consistently held myself accountable to. In a way...I have been afraid to actually commit myself to the fortitude of purpose....as like actually existing here as the strength of character that does not give up or bow down to anyone. This is not to say that I must be fighting or welcoming to conflict...but at the same time being open to dancing with conflict that I am presented with...you know...in a way like a ninja master....where the problems/issues are directed into and as solutions.

The irony of course within everything is myself.  So often I have reflected outwards about irony as a seemingly separate entanglement that only loosely relates back to me and is not really knotted deeply in attachment to my particular acceptances and allowances. This perception being a scapegoat defense mechanism where I ultimately excused the deep seated self-reflection required in really getting to the origins of myself here as who and what I am really all about.  It's fascinating to examine the conspiracies of my acceptances and allowances if you will. I sure each and everyone can relate to the conspiracies within and as our very acceptances and allowances...as this is an area that can be easily dismissed from the giving patience and time as the necessary ingredients required to actually look at the story of self here...and the questioning of Fortitude of Purpose.

Anytime I would come across something that would reveal a depth of character....or be rich in substance...I would yearn for more and more exposure to such things....whether it be a show or production, a book, a person, a sport,...it's like all the while...I was always missing the core of myself within and as it....where full appreciation was not quite grasped...because I don't think I have ever really fully appreciated myself to the fullest extent of and as the meaning of appreciation. Reflecting back on my various modes enthrallment from the perspective of entertainment interests...my satisfaction and thirst for more was never ending...and within this...the reflection to me is clear on the point of enjoyment...self-enjoyment....where it is an alone and together thing....where it's a shared thing between two or more.

I am reminded of the court jester....the joker if you will...as the comedic relief to the absurd ridiculousness of aristocracy and monarchy. Within and as such a position...the joker is like the master educator...world teacher in a sense...where his immunity is granted for him alone because of his chosen profession...and the reasoning that this is the joker...and no matter how serious the reflection may be...this is the court jester...the joker...who is permitted...authorized to ridicule the ridiculousness of the accepted and allowed crown rule.  I think of this in terms relatable to stand up comedy and movie and television entertainment. Where there is potential within such a position to me an intermediary role player bridging the gaps of dissonance with common sense critique. Exposing the absurd ridiculousness in absurdly ridiculous ways with cleverly creative points of comparison and association...making a mockery of a mockery while at the same time, giving the antidote...the formula....the recipe....the solution as to how the absurd ridiculousness can be solved...as being no longer relevant and therefore remedied,,,because after having the aha moment of a laugh and seeing for real...it is clear...crystal clear like water...the perfect solution as the how to do....I get it, I got it...I  do it...I am doing it attitude that is contagious in and as itself being a point that is addictively spread as the messages worth repeating.

What's interesting within as a my moments of reflection here is...that I as each I is the gate keeper of I...for it is for I...and I for an I that make everything to I...as to grant to I...is to for real be to I...as Realized...as aha...yes...I see it is all to and for I...as to and from I ...as the perfect relationship...I Give and Get Given here for it is the Gift of me/you/life here.
Meaning the play is in and as our permission authority to play...as like will allow ourselves to play...will we ask others to play....will we show others how to play...will we talk about our play...and to such a point where our work can become the play..in such a way where the play is a work in progress..as like a continued play day...play date that can stand the testaments of time as like...yes playing and working with what is here will stand the testaments of time...in and as the way to educate and entertain effectively....because education and entertainment together as a point of enjoyment shared between two or more is something rather harmoniously marvelous as the simplistic euphoria of the warmth of touch. This is life awareness here. This is who I am ....this is who we are. This is what I am about. This is how I choose to express and share the expression/creation of myself here.

,...it seems daunting and far to easy to actually be the way forward here...that trauma and suffering is not actually required...that simplicity is key in self exploration and creation. That really we can have a lot of fun in creating our fortitude of purpose and within this enacting a self-responsibility that will insure the future well being for generations to come as the knowing that this is substantial support that is fostering the facilitation of greatness in all ways always. It's important to note that obviously this enactment of purposeful living of and as self-responsibility will be a challenge in and of itself...because I realize I have been conditioned to operate in a way that is less than beneficial to all life here....so in breaking the restraints of my conditioned limitations may in fact very well be somewhat traumatically challenging....though I see here...the way in which I remove the layers of deception from myself as being related to me and my investigative digging...meaning that my willingness to pull off the layers of my deceit self-willing will be a challenge yes...but far less traumatic if I avoid doing so and therefore require to only realize through the consequence of my programmed planning conditioning playing out.

To be Continued

Day 689 - Realizing and Living My Utmost Potential

1. "Realizing and Living My Utmost Potential". (The Desteni of Living - A Declaration of Principles)


This point here I have come to see and realize as a point of self-mastery...in that there is the potential for a constant and continuous refinement of ability here....where on a daily basis, one is playing/working with the basics and seeing how to better oneself in application....like a constant and continuous learning here....so in this regard the 'Realization and Living of My Utmost Potential' has been a growing and expanding point. Growing and expanding...as I give myself access to potential.

What I have learned about myself thus far is that Realizing and Living my Utmost Potential is a work and play in progress...Meaning that this is something that I am working and playing with....and I will continue to work and play with....This is a primary principle that will remain within me indefinitely.

This primary principle here, is an opening up of awareness if you will...as like there is an openness in receptiveness to see for real what is here. Seeing the acceptances and allowances that are here isn't always a pleasant experience....Well, it is really pleasant....when you consider and regard the fact...that, "Hey I am seeing and realizing something that I wasn't noticing before...so in that new seeing....there is in fact a gift...and really this is pleasant...because, now the opportunity exists for actual living action....from beyond reaction into in fact actual creation...as a self directive initiative takes form...in and as the molding and shaping of and as substantiated self-responsibility as the developed ability in and as self-mobility as how to live the self-expression of and as the words we are....the principles you will into being, as the "who I am"...as the definition in what I stand for and as.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the simplicity in and as the 'realization and living of my utmost potential' as daily self-commitment to the basics...where I am constantly and continuously committed to perfection within the basics....and am always looking for ways to expand development within and as the basics.

I realize and understand the commitment required to practically working and playing with the basics.

I commit myself to the self-enjoyment of the Basics within and as my day to day living.

I realize self-honesty in working and playing with the Basics here.

I commit myself to keeping self-mastery simple in application as the realization of sticking to the Basics....where Self-Honesty is Key.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having complicated things within my life as a result of not sticking to the Basics...which I realize is a result of self-dishonesty....which is the neglect of taking action on the self-honesty that exists here.

I see and realize self-honesty here.

I see and realize if I do not direct self-honestly than that is a choice to exist as self-dishonesty...which is an indication of being out of alignment with the practical living application of the word play "responsibility" where one has and knows how to exercise the best response ability in and as the movement here...based in and as the looking/realizing what is here self-honestly and making an assessment and a committed action from within and as the starting point of 'Self-Trust'...where one gives oneself permission to move/create for real...beyond the confinements of doubt and fear.

I commit myself to the responsibility that exists in the realization and understanding of self-honesty in application existing here beyond the confinements of doubt and fear....where and as 'Self-Trust' is a commitment that gives one-self permission to live the realization of utmost potential in the moment.

I realize the basics to exist as:

Self-Honesty - To see and realize what is being accepted and allowed here....and also, to see and realize what is in fact best for all Life here.

Self-Forgiveness - is the gift giving of self-responsibility in taking accountability for one's acceptances and allowances...and making sure that the structural alignment of what you accept and allow is from the starting point principle of 'Oneness and equality'. Self-forgiveness is also an Equalization point...where one actually pieces oneself back together...where the accepted and allowed separation is till here no further.

Self-Trust - is the commitment to actually move and apply oneself here...basically putting oneself into application as the dare to care in playing and working with what is here. Obviously there is an interconnectedness with self-honesty here. The application of self-trust over time becomes the outflow of common sense mathematics....realizing and living the basic principles of self-honesty, self-forgiveness, and self-trust.

Self-Commitment - Is the common sense mathematics of self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-trust...where you in fact see the realization and living of your utmost potential...and You therefore commit yourself to practical living Greatness as who you are. Obviously the practical living of Greatness is self-substantiated over time...as the result of constant and consistent application of the realization of the Basic principle fundamentals here.

Self-Here - You are practical living Greatness that has been self-substantiated over time as a result of and as the constant and consistent application of self-perfecting the Basic principles Here.