Day 241 Daily Game Plan

I realize the assistance and support within having a daily game plan...as like a schedule of how the day will play out with regards to making time to complete specific tasks.

Even though I realize the effectivness of establishing a game plan to play out the day/night with...I've often neglected giving myself the gift of having a  specific game plan.  As consequence of neglecting a game plan...i've noticed how some days I am not nearly as effective as I am capable of being...and it's like when I dont have a specific written out game plan...I'm more likely to get distracted from points I want to accomplish....because when I don't have specific planning...I often would find it easy to adjust self responsibilities and make room for distraction/enetertainment/preoccupations.  It's like when I establish a game plan for myself I take myself more seriously...like sticking to my words so to speak...where when I don't have any specific game plan I find myself moving on trains of thought...which consequently results in me accomplishing less than I am capable of accomplishing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to slack off on establishing daily game plans the night before as to how I am going to utilize my time the following day the most effectively and supportively as assisting myself to live to my best potential.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for squandering moments in time as consequence of accepting and allowing myself to be distracted within mind/reaction participations.

I forgive myself for not realising and understanding that I only have so many minutes here in a day...and if I disregard even a few minutes....that's being wasteful of my resourcefulness here as a contribution to Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I got infinite time to fuck around and that I always have more than enough time to take care of personal responsibilities and that I don't need to be too serious about my day to day living effectiveness with regards to making sure I always maximize myself to the best of my abilities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for disregarding the gift of time as the opportunity for limitless possibilities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get myself into situations where I am trying to play catch up with time as like I'm behind in my time line as deadlines...and now Im scrambling in time to make it in time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for disregarding Life best interests as pushing myself to the best of my abilities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that I give myself more enjoyable free time...when my free time is given to me as like a reward for having completed specific obligations...I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be inconsistent with timing discipline as like a matter of punctuality and reliability.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sacrifice punctuality and reliability in favour of self interest indulgence as me as ego type pattern behaviour play outs where I disregard everyone.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise the self responsibility in utilizing the gift of time as limmitless opportunities to the best of my capabilities.

I commit myself to becoming much much more effective with my time management skills as like maximizing my efficiency and effectiveness on a daily basis.

I commit myself to take Life seriously from the perspective that Life is of the highest value as all creation here stems from the starting point of equality and oneness

I commit myself to gift myself with daily game plans for day and nigh time effectivness in facilitating  myself with maximum self enjoyment, satisfaction, well being, expansion, learning support, sharing, caring, nourishment here as self mastery.

Day 240 Going Against Self Interest

I'm pushing myself to forgive myself for self interested relationship with skiing. I was hesistant about doing this because I worried/feared that I wouldnt care about skiing anymore...like I wouldnt really like skiing like I do now.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to worry and fear that if I push points of resistance within myself with specific regards to and as my relationship within the activity of skiing that I will not like or want to ski anymore because I will see that it is a waste of my time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that if I make sure I don't have any positive feeling energies about skiing and establish an equality and oneness relationship with and as the activity skiiing I won't want to ski anymore.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to obsess about skiing as a self interested indulgence that occupies my thinking as like day dreaming and imagination.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to waste moments of my life here within day dreaming and imagination from and as the perspective of taking myself out of the here moment of physicality and to get lost within mental projections of and as desires.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be less than my capabilities and potential as consequence of accepting and allowing myself to indulge in day dreaming about skiiing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a positive energy relationship with skiiing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from and as the activity skiing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be less than fulfilled when I am not skiing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a relationship with skiing where and as I feel skiing completes me as who I am/

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand that I have given so much attention to the activity of skiing because I have created a love relationship towards skiing as like me emitting positive feelings about myself particpating within the activity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as a skier as that is who I am as like my personal self image.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to disregard the abuse that exists in favour of focusing on skiing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand that skiing as an activity is cool...but obsessing about the activity is ridiculous.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand that I have had a tendency to obsess about things I create positive feelings about....as like wanting to consume as much positive feeling about the point of self itnerest indulgence as  I can.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist pushing the point of releasing myself from being possessed by self interests indulgences as like an obsessive compulsive disorder.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myse to be o.c.d about skiiing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the realisation that I have accepted and allowed myself to be obsessive compulsive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I was separate from being obsessive and compulsive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be addicted to obsessive compulsive behaviours as like physical activities that I create a positive relationship towards.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be obsessive compulsive about self judgement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be obsessive compulsive about thinking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be surprised that the point of obsessive compulsion came out of facing the relationship I had created about participating in the activity skiing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the extent to which I have particpated within obsessive compulsions throughout my life based on feelings/emotions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attach a negative connotation as like an emotional energy onto obsessive compulsive behaviours.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be shocked and awed that the point of obsessive compulsive disorder came out of my writing here this evening.

I forgive myself for not realising and understanding the absoulute importance of equalizing all my positive energetically charged relationships.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to shift within positive enrgetically charged relationships as like different obsessive compulsions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to cope with being here by obsessively focusing on self interests as positively charged energetci addictions.

I forgive myself fot having not wanted to let go of all positively charged energetic addictions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising the gift I am giving to myself by releasing myself from being enslaved to positively charged energetic relationships.

I realise the ridiculous limitations of accepting and allowing myself to hold onto positively charged energetic relationships.

I realise my self responsibilitiy as what is best for all life here is for me to equalize myself as Life in always as the epitome of equality and oneness.

I realise that by going against my self interests as my self interests being positively charged energetic addictions, I am giving myself the opportunity to grow and expand as real Life here.

I realise going against self interests is an act of love as physical support as  nourishment and well being as like strenght training as like physical endurance conditioning...as like becoming stability and certainty within myself always as self trust and self honest.

I realize self forgiveness is a great gift I give myself that always succeed my wildest imaginations...as self forgiveness brings forth clarity as like enabling the ability to create what is best for all Life here.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to day dream about skiing, I stop and breathe and bring myself back to physical awareness as attention to breath.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to obsess about feelings or emotions as like really loving or hating something...I stop and I breathe and I allow myself to see the ridiculousness of my actions as like consuming myself with the perpetuation of an energetic buzz.

I commit myself to going deep into the point of obsessive compulisive disorder/behaviour.

I commit myself to pushing points of resistance as a physical act of self love.

I commit myself to sharing physical acts of love by pushing through resistance as self willed determination as the belief in myself as oneness and equality.

Day 239 What the Fuck Have I Been Doing?

Throughout my years here, I have focused on playing...you know, just having fun indulging in self interests....like playing as forms of entertainment as lots of sports and a little bit of work... as I always figured I gotta enjoy my time while I'm young as much as possible...and the older I've gotten, I've pereptuated the attitude that I gotta just keep pushing the playtime as perhaps I won't always be able to play and I might have to get serious about working full time.

In being brutally self honest with investigating my actions and attitude about being here and having existed within protecting self interests as self enjoyment activitites and hobbies...I've neglected really challenging myself to make great contributions to the betterment of humanity as the future of our shared reality.

For along time, I subscribed to the notion that our world is fucked up and nobody is really doing anything about it...so I might aswell just try to make the best of my time here and indulge myself in whatever I desire to do...as like living the dream of mind conscious desires as much as possible.  I justified my attitude and behaviour by believing that I gotta give myself the time to indulge in my desires because nobody else is pushing me to live the dream of fulfilling desires...as like the notion of my environment has always been, go to school....go to college or university and then get full time employment, get a house, get married have kids and support them to jump through the same hoops as like this is what life is.....

This mentality always seemed kind of fucked up to me and far from being what I considered to be how I would like to spend my time...as it seemed like this was a form of selling out so to speak...as like giving into the system...losing the playtime of acting like a kid...getting serious about being serious about being an adult in the system who spends most of their time working there 9-5 job 5 days a week for a 2 day weekend of playtime...this always seemed like a really shitty trade off like a raw fucking deal. 

When I was a child I talked with lots of adults...and there was a common sharing trend in my discussions with adults...that, the best days of their lives were behing them...that things were better when they were younger...like still in school before they got serious and began careers and had families. This kind of scared me and I kind of related it to like the Peter Pan scenario and the lost boys...as like living in never never land....where you stay like a kid forever and never grow old.

I wondered that maybe people were growing old and nasty and kind of scary looking really...was because they didn't really enjoy themselves...as like they just kind of accepted that this is what life is...this is how life works....and there is no real say in the matter...

I decided that I should go to university after highschool because to my understanding I needed to go to university in order to be able to make lots of money to exist in this world and I realised that if I am going to be able to enjoy my time here, I am going to need lots of money.

I figured I would go to university and become a gym teacher so that even though I would have a job working as a gym teacher,...I would be teaching physical education and therfore I would continue to be able to do the things that I enjoy and get paid to do so. I figured it would be pretty sweet to go to work in a track suit or sweat pants and a hoody and play sports and games all day.

So, I checked out what program I would have to take to become a gym teacher and I found out about human kinetics. I talked with the guidance counsellor and he showed me the marks of students who had gotten in to the human kinetics program in passed years.

School was never really that difficult for me...and I mean a bunch of different times in highschool I thought it would be really cool to get super high grades...and I started out with the intentions that I wanted super high grades,,,But,,,the tradeoff seemed kind of fucked to me...as like I would have to put in a lot of hours in order to do so, So, I took the approach that I will have a lot more free time to play and do things that amuse me if I don't spend tons of time on school work and just kind of make sure that I do all my work but not really study at all...as like I always reviewed the course breakdown as the marking system as how I would be graded...to the point where I figured out that if I completed all my assignments and did ok on them...it wouldnt even matter if I failed the exams because I would already have passing grades before I wrote the exams....

The year I graduated was a merger year...meaning I was the last of the grade 13's to graduate in the province of Ontario...as the education system was changing the curriculium around so that grade 13 would no longer exist and the material was condensed into having one less year of highschool. This meant that double the people were graduating. I didn't really consider that I would need higher grade averaged to get into the program I wanted to get into because there was double the competition. I just kind of figured that there was some sort of standard for getting into university programs...meaning that as long as you had atleast these marks you would get into the program of you choosing.

I graduated with like a 74 or 75 overall average.

My grades were pretty consistent throughout my entire education time in elementary and highschool...I had an 80 average for one semester in grade 8,,,,and other than that one semester my over all average was always mid to high 70's.....though I always scored in the 90's in physical education.

My attitude about physical education was always pure pleasure and satisfaction as something that I always enjoyed.  I would get angry in elementary school when teachers would take away my gym time as consequence of me and the class misbehaving.....this pissed me off so much...as like gym time was always the most fun time for me at school.

I didn't get accepted into the human kinetics program I wanted to take. I felt kind of misinformed because my grades were better than grades that were accepted into the program in previous years.

I did get accepted into university for an arts degree...I had picked canadian studies as my major. After going to the first day of the first year canadian studies introduction course...I looked at the course overview....and listened to the professor talk about the course...and I was like this is bullshit I am not interested at all in taking canadian studies. So I dropped the course...and picked up an introduction to psychology course and declared my major to be undeclared as I was taking a whole bunch of different first year bachelor of arts courses. I took french, geography, history, law and psychology.

Within the first week of university...I came across an advertisment for the men's hockey team tryouts...they were accepting walkouts...as like being able to try out for the team without a direct invitation. The hockey program was in a transition phase from being a competitive club who would play exhibition games againsts mostly colleges and some univeristies...to becoming a varsity team...who would participate as a University Varsity hockey team...meaning they would have a sanctioned full season and possible playoffs. Though the transition to varsity would be dependent on the next couple upcoming seasons....

I made the hockey team...and so I was going to university but my main focus was the same as it was when I was at elementary school and highschool...play sports/games...and just making sure I pass my schooling.

I didn't realise that I had to do more than just pass my classes at university...as like I had to have above a certain overall average or I would lose full time status and be put on academic warning and have a reduced course load. So this happened to me...I wasnt much bothered by this because I was like sweet I don't have to even as much work as I was doing before....like now I have way less assignments and even more free time to play...

I started picking my courses as like just taking whatever sounded interesting and was available...often I was getting some of the last picks as opportunities to choose classes for upcoming semesters because I had shitty grades and I was undeclared...meaning without a major study of focus.

After a little while I kind of thought I will just get a double major and a double minor...by taking a bunch of law and history classes...and some psychology and sociology courses...I figured I would just sign up for the classes and I fugured I will eventually I will have a fancy sounding degree. I never really looked into checking program specific requirements because...even though I was particpating in University it was mainly a social experiment experience for me...and also I learned that older adults were really impressed with me for being in university and taking all these different courses...and ya...I kind of used the whole university thing as like a hiding or postponement to having to get serious about work...and so basically university was a cover story for me to party, socialize and smoke copius amounts of weed.


The second year I was at university, I learned from some older dudes on the hockey team about treeplanting as a way for me to make a whole bunch of money in the spring or summer...like a dude was telling me how he was making $300 a day and he made like $15,000 in 2 months. He told me and a buddy about this after we had got caught smoking weed by the coached after a road game. We had just signed some papers on the way down saying we wouldnt do drugs and all this other stuff because we were athletes..and school policy type shit. Anyways it was the captain on the team who was telling me about tree planting....and he was joking around about the fact that I would be able to smoke as much dope there as I wanted.  This sounded amazing to me...as the previous summer I worked at the golf course making about $8 an hour and like $56 a day. I had been working at the golf course for the free golf.

I didn't smoke much weed before I started university. I played defense on the University Hockey Team and most of the guys smoked alot of weed...some of the forwards too...but it was a bunch of the defensemen who were big pot heads. I became a big pothead while playing hockey at university...the second year...I was playing stoned all the time...it started out as just a joke as we had an open skate before the tryouts and a bunch of us smoked up before playing...I enjoyed playing stoned quite a bit and it seemed to help my performance as I was just super calm...like previously I would get nervous some times....anyways ya, smoking dope escalated for a long while...and became like a full time activity...like an all the time thing...

After my 3rd summer tree planting I was enrolled in university in the fall to finish up a 3yr law degree...I just wanted to finish up some sort of schooling and be done with university as it had been basically just a cover for me to not have to take things to seriously. I had made a ton of money tree planting that summer. I was the best tree planter in the camp where I worked a spring and summer contract. I pushed myself physically to perform as best I could and also make as much money as I could as the job was piece rate meaning I got paid by the tree.

I enjoyed tree planting from the get go, as I enjoyed competing with myself as like challenging myself to work to the best of my abilities.

I learned that I could work a few months of the year planting trees and have the rest of the year to be on vacation.

I dropped out of university in the fall after my 3rd season planting trees. This was october 2007. I had been looking at the desteni material as well as a gazillion other things as like trying to make sense of the world in all ways possible. What really got me going into synthesizing all sorts of  various types of information was Michael Tsarion...as I saw Michael Tsarion as a really cool synthesizer and my good buddy had been investigating Michael Tsarion quite thoroughly while I was planting trees...and filled me so to speak as like showing me all the material he had gone through...and I was quite interested in what Michael Tsarion was talking about.

Learning all about the work of Michael Tsarion and indulging myself within the desteni material that was accumulating by the day...I saw that I had had a golden platter of assistance and support at my disposal that wasn't being offered to me at university...and at the time I figured spending any more time at university was a waste of my time...as the desteni material was like wow...I gotta commit myself to going through all the material.

So going through desteni material was my main focus for the next couple of years...while going tree planting in the spring summer and then taking the rest of the year to myself to vacation and check out desteni material.

After my 5th season tree planting which I didnt work as many days as I initially planned and spent the last part of the summer and fall working at a fancy golf course and playing lots of golf...I realised I wasnt going to have enough money to coast through the winter just taking it easy vacation styles just going through desteni material and any other information that interested me. So, one day while I was shitting and reading the newspaper I sad a job posting for ski instructors. I thought this would be a fun way to spend the winter and I would be in an environment where I could learn to snowboard. I didnt realise at the time that I would become more interested in improving my skiing abilities. Anyways ya, not having enough money to cruise through the winter was like a blessing in disguise as I became a ski instructor and I learned to snowboard...and it was lots of fun. This year I improved my ski credentials by getting a 2nd level ski certification and also I became certified snowboard instructor. Through getting involved with teaching skiing, I learned all about the specific body mechanics as prior to teaching skiing I was pretty much self taught...and didnt have the skills that I have now. Skiing and snowboarding has been cool physical self support...as I had kind of become a bit of a coach potatoe for the winters prior to teaching skiing. I mean I would play some ice hockey...but that was only like an hour or so here or there through the week.

Towards the end of the 2nd winter working as a ski instructor my parents were getting kind of concerned about me...as like they wanted me to go back to school and finish my degree and not rely on tree planting and skiing as my source of income. My parents offered me to come live with them free of charge and that if I paid for my schooling courses the would re-pay me upon graduating. I figured I better take them up on there offer as I had been thinking to myself that I should probably just finish up a university degree...I mean I had a lot of coursed already completed. Also, I thought of this as kind of easy living as I wouldnt have to pay rent or by groceries and I could still play on the ski hill by doing my courses part time.

My enthusiasm about skiing has increased exponentially since I started teaching skiing.

The first year I worked as a ski instructor I received the award of 'Instructor of the Year'. I consisdered myself to be the Ambassador of Awesome for the ski hill as like I was just sharing the awesomeness. I told everyone about the scienece of Awesome as Awe-So-Me.

Within writing here today as a point of self reflection...I've considered that maybe I should do a univeristy degree in human kinetics or kinesiology. I mean Human Kinetics was my first pick many years ago...and I just kind of gave up on it because I didn't get accepted...and I didn't even consider doing the work necessary to get myself into the program. Also, I'm going to research law school...I don't know what is required for me to get into a law school...i've heard a few different things about it...but I havent investigated the point yet....so I am going to check out these school opportunities. In looking at myself here in writing as me words...I feel like human kinetics would be a better alignment point for me as like I think I am more suited to study body mechanics...I mean I already have a quite exstensive background with physical activities and I think it would be really cool to understand all my body mechanics.

It's kind of funny and cool how the point of human kinetics came up in my writing today because it was a point that had been burried in my past as something I never thought I would do because I had just kind of dismissed doing a degree in human kinetics because I didn't get accepted to the program the first time I tried. I mean I didn't really put much effort into getting into the program...so go figure I didn't get into the program.

Earlier I was thinking about how I'm old enough to have finished medical school and be a doctor...and I am not quite finished a 3 year undergraduate degree in law. I mean this kind of shows me the point of how long something can take to complete without a disciplined self commitment to getting the task completed...as like just kind of doing the bare minimum. Also, therfore, the point is seen... how, with self willed directive force as self willed determination, anything is possible.

Day 238 Self-Forgiveness as Key Ingredient to Receiving Everything

My writing was influenced with assistance and support from Jesus interview series,...today specifically from:
http://eqafe.com/i/mmcdonald-the-crucifixion-of-jesus-part-25




"Give as you like to receive"

Self Forgiveness is the epitome of giving to yourself that which you would like to receive.

Self Forgiveness takes balls.

When I say, "self forgiveness takes balls"...., I mean courage, honor, integrity, discipline....No Fear....as the realization that accepting and allowing self to avoid taking self responsibility for a point of self forgiveness is to accept and allow fear within oneself...and therefore...self forgiveness is the tool as the Key Ingredient to receiving Everything...because within self forgiveness is the self realizations...of like holy fucking shit...I am the key code as the key maker that grants me Everything.........like holy fucking wow, I piece myself back together again with Self-Forgiveness.

Piece Myself Back Together? Piecing myself back together is only possible with BRUTAL Self Honesty. Note how I emphasize the Brutality of Brutal Self Honesty. Self Honesty is Brutal because the truth is ugly. Facing the ugliness as the beautiful lies is the way forward with self-forgiveness.

Communicating Self Forgiveness without Brutal Self Honesty is useless....is in fact, really fucking brutal...like some real nasty shit....you know, like the most beautiful lie....like total fucking bullshit, packaged and presented in such a way that the lie is missed and the focus is on the beauty....and note that tie rhymes with lie...and see the beau tie full as the full be a you tied together as like knotted within an entanglement of self deception as like a ball of yarn full of acceptances and allowances that is total fuckedness strung together.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to string fuckedness together as like to indulge myself within beautiful lies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself fro having communicated self forgiveness without brutal self honesty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for speaking self forgiveness from a starting point of manipulation, desire, greed, power, control as self interested righteousness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist going full out with self forgiveness on points where there is resitance to doing so.

I forgive myself for not realising and understanding that if I am not utilising resistance as my guide as like my life road map, then I am in fact not being brutal in self honesty...which means I am hiding the truth because it is ugly and I don't want to look at it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide the ugly truth of myself from myself and to hold myself hostage within the ugly truth as like my dirty little secrets.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ration the application of self forgiveness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold back on myself from moving forward within my applications of self forgiveness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be too gentle on myself in terms of pushing myself to live the application of self forgiveness as a daily expression I integrate in a moment when I see a point with brutal self honesty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to postpone the application of self forgiveness because I feel that now is not a good time to do self forgiveness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make excuses as reasons and justifications as why I will not do self forgiveness in the moment when I see a point of self correction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not give  to myself as I would like to receive and as consequence rely on hope as like a bullshit mental projection that is like an apathetic approach to self responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take an apathetic approach to self responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget the importance of self forgiveness as my daily bread as like the breath of life as a means of self governance as physical body regulation nourishment and support.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize how crucial it is for me to push myself in moving through as much self forgiveness as I can as like to create an actual momentum of progression within myself as like a constant state of acceleration as self expansion as self committed, willed, exponential increases/changes as what is best for Life in all ways.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that shit accumulates inside of me and that self forgiveness is the release button for the shit that has accumulated within myself...and therefore the importance is seen and understood that I must release more shit than I take in because I've already faced the point of myself being totally full of shit...and I am committed to moving forward within my process of self perfection.

I understand and realize that not going full out with self forgiveness will create a situation of brutal unfortunate consequence as like needing to perpetuate bullshit as a series of unfortunate events a high's and lows roller coaster of feelings and emotions if you will as experience...as time loops as the consequence of not being consistent within accelerating forward with the tool of self forgiveness in shoveling out the shit from within myself and letting more shit in...as like creating a situation of working for free...as like to be coping....like coping with a fucked up situation...like just trying to survive off the faint hope that somehow some way things will get better.

I forgive myself for not realizing and understand that I weather the weather in all ways all the time whether I know it or not.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to neglect writing as a means of self support to the extent where I have just allowed myself to give myself the bare necessities in terms of writing assistance and support.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not give myself everything within writing as a means of equalizing myself as all as one as equal.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist seeing points within myself that are clear as fucking day within other beings in my world. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist always reflecting points upon myself as the starting point of creation as the point of self responsibility as accountability as stability in stance and balance as like a tree standing tall and steady due to being ground in support as having good roots as a sound network of support.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize, consider and understand self-forgiveness as the key ingredient to receiving everything...and therefore realizing myself as giving myself full access to myself as like piecing myself back to full connectivity as re-structuring myself as equality and oneness as a harmonious sound equilibrium as what is best.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist myself as the best.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as less than my best potential.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist all creative opportunities that are available here for me to make my way forward in process as utilizing what is here as a means of assistance and support.



I commit myself to giving myself lots of daily bread as self forgiveness.

I commit myself to eating, chewing, digesting my words as real physical living sound self support and assistance as self directive communication.

I commit myself to correcting my words when and as I see my words are misaligned from the starting point of creating what is best for all Life as equality and oneness merged together.

I commit myself to making sure I give myself Everything..as like all of myself to myself as total self commitment as brutal self honesty within and as living the application of self forgiveness and self corrective action as the way forward as a constant acceleration of exponential increase and expansion the image and likeness of what is best.

Day 237 Change Support

I


 forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the difficulty in walking points of change if I don't commit myself to walk the change as like allowing myself to kind of want to change and kind of not want to change.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making change a battle as like a fighting to push through resistance as seemingly very difficult as consequence of accepting and allowing myself to be inconsistent in decision making.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for trying to move myself in walking points of change from a starting point of emotional turmoil.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be stubborn about change as like not wanting to change my acceptances and allowances because walking change seems labour intensive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for defining labour intensive as a negatively charged emotion as something that I should try to avoid as much as possible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fucking with myself as consequence of being indecisive within myself about self commitments to change and sticking to point of following through with the point of change.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fucking with myself wihtin points of change by reflecting back upon memories I created positive feelings about.

I forgive myself for not realising and understanding the exten to which I have fucked with my ability to change as consequence of accepting and allowing myself to fear no longer repeating past meoriy experiences that I defined as polarity charged positive feelings of highness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be greedy in holding myself back from great change.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limmit my abilities and capabilities of walking points of great change with relative ease.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I like to challenge myself by making things diffuclt on myself because I feel like I accomplished more when I figured something out that was difficult.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create reasoning as backchat justifications within myself as like ways and why's it is ok for myself to create diffuclty for myself in living to my fullest potential in all ways best.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wait on myself as like putting on weight as consequence of waiting for myself to stick to commitments of walking points of change without doubt and abandonment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be uncertain within commitments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear commitments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist making life changing commitments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allwoing myself to believe that I am protecting myself from danger and harm by not making very many serious commitments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear getting trapped within commitments and resposnibilities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting and desiring to be free from commitments and responsibilities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to avoid commitments and responsibilities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to do the bare minimum in terms of self commtiments and self responsibilities as consequence of accepting and allowing myself to fear making commitments and responsibilites.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to trap myself within fear as consequence of fearing to make commitments and create points of self responsibilites.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define resposnibilites as like burdensome as like limmiting me from having free time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to neglect self responsibilities as consequence of accepting and allowing myself to fear responsibilities and commitments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to choose to fear self responsibilities and commitments.

I forgive myself for not realising and understanding or considering the ridiculousness of choosing to fear commitments and responsibilites.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be selfish in avoiding responsibilites and commitments...as like wanting benefits...as like royal treatment without doing any labour...like creating expectations of justified superiority like righteousness within my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise the simplicity of change and the ability and capability to change within asking the question, "Do I want to change?"

I forgive myself for not realising the simplicity in making sure I am without a doubt committed to a point of change...and therefore realise that in making a self commitment as change as like a self correction....that, my will is my resolve...as I re---solve the problems I have created within myself as acceptances and allowances.

I commit myself to change as what is best for all life here.

I commit myself to be patient and steadfast within process of change as what is best for all life here.


When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself reacting to the difficulty I faced with, I stop and breath and allow myself to move through the difficulty with patience and steadfast self direction as the will I am committed to walking process of what is best for all life in all ways here.

I commit myself to utilising my words as assistance and support as like building blocks of support, so as like to sew within myself a sound foundation as physical structural creative sound as oneness and equality merged and fused together as myself always here in all ways best as what is best for life.

DAY 236 Great Change, "UnderDogg Styles"

"When the odds are stacked against You, The Pay Out is HUGE"...Join Desteni, also known as Team Life.

Saying, "Humanity will never change" is like saying, "What I know is stupid and I am not interested in being smart....Because stupid is safe and comfortable."


Talking shit about others being incapable of change is a disgusting point of self righteous inferiority guised as superiority.  I know this, because there was a time when I subscribed to this Bullshit mentality. The amount of self righteousness existent is extensive...and it is the result of self defense coping mechanisms to actually hide and denial the actual reality of one's situation. It feels good to put others down...because when you put others down, you are propping yourself up higher...like you feel high and mighty because the separation existent within self is so extensive one doesn't realise that by pushing another human being down, you are digging your own grave....it's like wow, totally ridiculous.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing for putting others down to prop myself up.

I forgive myself for not realising and understanding that when I put others down I am in fact digging my own grave.

I realise the ridiculousness of talking shit about another being as like being totally incapable of change.

I realise that doubting another on the point of change is a point of self doubt...and this means....one is choosing to go through more processes of pain and suffering as choosing to make the process of great change, long and difficult.

If there is a will there is a way as self direction

If there is no will....you can't swim upstream...which means you are useless in pushing through resistance and you are like dead weigh just being pushed/directed by the current.

The reward for giving a shit about humanity is HUGE, because if You are a being that really give a shit about Humanity, You are an underdog with all odds against you.....as the majority of beings at the moment don't believe we can all get along...that it's impossible....not going to happen....not in our life time.


When all of humanity exist together in agreement as the results of great change, who do you want to be in the history books? One of the one's that was deemed to be a major UnderDogg..you know, a Being who really gives a shit about Life...like Life in always best as supreme excellency...you know, awesomeness as all ways awesome as like awe-so-me....holy fucking Yes cool greatness here.....................OR, do you want to look back in history and be like ya, I was a fucking idiot....I totally didn't get the message...like holy fuck I was out to lunch....like I was so out to lunch...I went out looking for lunch and I couldn't find my lunch...so I just consumed my lunch mates because I figured if I didn't doubt my fellow mates....they would doubt me and I'd be fucked....so better I do the fucking and be the big fucker here as like the one who fucks you because I fear getting fucked in the ass....and it's like I fear being fucked in the ass so badly that I will do any type of stupid shit to remain in a state of ignorance as like totally self absorbed self righteousness, subscribing to the belief  of yes, I'm a fucking know it all...I know mankind can't change.....and there's a lot of other me's who agree with me...and it's like we share comfort and safety in our stupidity and we fear change.


Ok, so it's obvious, no one wants to be a fucking idiot....yet there's some irony here...........

LOL


The sooner you admit, you've been a fucking idiot....the sooner mankind can change.

The choice is up to you!


Choose to stop being a fucking idiot!


But you're not a fucking idiot are You?..........


Dare to Care, Be bold and radical......Because Self Honesty is Fucking Brutal.....like fucking WOW self honesty is fucking brutal....

Join us,

http://desteniiprocess.com

Day 235 What Did I Learn Today?

What did I learn Today?

I'm most productive with my day when I get myself up and moving when I wake up the first time...and therfore don't allow myself to postpone getting up...as postponement in the morning leasd to postponement in the day as like consequential setbacks and delays due to initial decision of postponement of starting daily participations.

Sharing perspectives and considerations about what I am studying opnes up cool discussions that facilitate further learning and self expansion.

I enjoy taking the time to prepare quality meals for myself.

I learn lots by listening.

People who are depressed sleep lots.

Working to the best of our abilities/capabilities is definition of self fulfilment.

Being somewhere and wanting to be somewhere else is ridiculous self induced limitation.

Sex is great physical self support.

Sex is connected to money and having lots of sex eqauls having lots of money.

Tutoring and teaching is lucrative and very employable business.

Living here is breath by breath and seeing the future is preprogrammed.

Opportunities here with every breath as living opportunity with/in/as every breath.

My dog Daisy is awesome daily physical support. Dogs are smart cool beings.

Letting go of desired self interests opens up opportunities for self expansion.

Writing out points that I learned is cool practical self support.

Day 234 Privacy and Access to Information

I just watched the documentary, "Stealing Africa" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNYemuiAOfU. 

Earlier today I was learning/studying about Privacy Protections and Access to Information.

In the documentary it was noted that transparency is key in stopping corruption.

In my studies I learned that transparency leads to good governance.


In my studies I was informed that Privacy and Access to Information are equally important BUT in Canada, where I live, there was a Supreme court ruling that declared Privacy legislation takes precedence over Access to Information.

This attitude suggests that it is more important to protect a few individual self interests within society than it is to support and facilitate what is best for society.

It's like saying, "it's more important to protect an individual's autonomy than it is to expose and individual's autonomy as greedy self righteousness." Which is to say, "greed is protected under privacy legislation because greed and corruption takes precedence over exposing who the most greedy and corrupt individuals"

What the fuck? !

At what point do the interests of the group justify the limitations of individual autonomy?

When Privacy legislation takes precedence over Access to Information legislation, it is impossible for transparency and good governance to exist....which exposes the juggernaut of the situation.

At the moment our legal system works congruently with the monetary system which is capitalism....which is based upon the starting point of individual self interest....more specifically the freedom and protection of individual self interest.


This mentality explains why there exists  extreme differences in quality of life of human beings....it's like according to our laws it's ok for some to have more than their fair share...and it's ok for many beings to have less than their fair share.

"History is our TIMELINE. If the TIMELINE is Not Reported EXACTLY How It Happened, We will NEVER LEARN from our Past.
When the History-TIMELINE is Reported with a FAVOURABLE VIEW of CERTAIN IDEOLOGIES to Justify IDEALS, THE IDEAL WORLD WILL NOT BE POSSIBLE."
http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/01/day-280-power-of-time.html


In Equal Money Capitalism http://equalmoney.org/ the legal system will work congruently with the monetary system...however the starting point will shift to Equality as the Law of Equality will take precedence of inequality always all ways as what is absolute best as ultimate supremacy.

It's interesting within creating a world which is best in all ways that we have much to work with here....because we just need to tweak points/systems into re-allignment from and as the starting point of our being here as the Law of Equality....and it's so simple because the Law of Equality is based upon common sense and all beings are bestowed with common sense.

So basically it's all in our words...as the wording as our information here that we have created the situation we have here today...our laws, our words all the systems that exists are required to be re-alligned as equality and oneness as what is best...as like always best.

Creation's Joureny to Life Blog, "Day 281 Property Worth Owning" gives perspecitve on the importance of purifying our vocabulary as the meaning and way forward in establishing excellence as our Living Words as our physical structural sound foundation that we built word by word as each word being the like a brick as physical structural sound.
http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/01/day-281-property-worth-owning.html

Day 233 Addictions Character

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to particpate within the addictions character as like just one more time or ok I'll change this point later.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within self postponement as a mechanism feeding addictions character personality.

I forgive myself for not realising and considering and in fact I hiding the truth of myself within addictions as like not wanting to see me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising the sadness within and as addiction as like total energetic possession.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create justifications and excuses and reasons as like the mechanics as ways in which to keep addictions sustained and systematically charged within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having thought, Ya I know I have some addictions and I;m just not ready to let go of these addictions yet, I'll do it later.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have physically stressed my body as consequence of perpetuating addictive character personalities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to know what is best and not live what is best.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stagnate self expansion as consequence of giving into fear as addiction is essentially fear driven/energetically charged.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to profess love within addiction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fuel addiction with memories of past experiences that I have defined as great as like the most positive feeling experiences.

I forgive myself for not realising and understanding the nergies at play within memories as like self definitions based in and as polarity frictions and therfore within this understanding know that all my memories are deceptive because my vision, clarity has been tainted as consequence of accepting and allowing judgment as polarity charged friction and conflict within the mind as positive feelings and negative emotions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing to judge the challenges I am faced with as I walk process.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to the challenges I am faced with.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowiing myself to forget about the ridiculousness of being overwhelmed with a new point that surfaces within process as like being surpirsed and taking offense to the new point of exposure that I had previously been totally oblivious and therfore indenial of.

I forgive myself for not realising the simplicity as the easy way to walk process as allowing myself to always examine the ridiculousness of a point to expose myself as the joke as the funny and to therofore utilise laughter as the best medicine in assisting and supporting myself to change that which must be re-alligned so that I am alligned as physical structural sound equality and oneness here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fuck with myself within points of opportunity for self transformation as what is best for all life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and consider the greediness the addiction character as like perpetuated by self righteous indignation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowiing myself to punish myself for a few moments as like emotional reactions upon seeing the brutality of my acceptances and allowances.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resisted always facing the brutality of myself withiout judgement so as not to take my shit personally...yet within this not accept and allow myself to use not taking my shit personally as an excuse or justification to continue fucking around as like believing I can fuck around without consequence because I am not taking my shit seriously.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as a bad joke as like fucking brutality here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide within positivity out of fear of getting to down on myself that I won't be able to pick myself up and swim.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising how when I give into temptation on a single point...I compromise many other seemingly unrelated things as like a residual consequential play out.

I forgive myself for not realising and understanding the synamics of self sabotage within and as letting one thing slide...and the resulting consequential ramifciations of letting even just one point slide under the radar when the point could have been dtected and given a proper thorough investigation so to purify and release on separation from and as the point in question as like self mergine with the question as the answer and solution.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to glorify points of process so as to make things all cool as like thinking and believing that even though I participated in a point of fuckedness it was kind of cool that I gave myself that experience.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create ridiculous perspective within my mind as like using my imagination within and as self interested righteous greed.

Day 232 "To Start is a Good Start"

So I just read Gian's Journey to Life blog today and the title was, "To Start is a Good Start".  Here is the link:  http://gianjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/01/day-269-to-start-is-good-start.html

Within Gian's blog he makes some great points about the simplicity of self movement as making things happening as like generating results, as like being effective with self movement by taking that first step without delay...as like the more first steps you can take is the more steps in the right direction you are taking.

Gian talks about some personal experience with regards to work, thinking about how he can make lots of money to support Desteni and the transitioning into and as a world that is best for all life here. I relate and identify with Gian's words as I have had the same thoughts. Gian also makes note how postponing immediate action when he has a task to do like for example cutting the lawn...leads to stress. I understand and agree with what he is saying here...as many times I have pushed back immediate action on a point...only to get to the point later...and have created stress upon myself as consequence of facing a a deadline and having squandered many minutes earlier about thinking about the task at hand and similar disregarding the importance of immediate action.

An importan point to see with Gian's and my sharing here is the great value in not waiting to share a point that one has to share. For example...I read Gian's blog as I had a few free minutes in my day...I mean it wasnt planned to read Gian's blog per say...I went to the Destonians website and picked his blog from the top of the list as it had just been submitted and his title caught my attention.  What I'm getting at is that holding back thoughts and considerations is not real practical as assistance and support can come from sharing thoughts and considerations. I read Gian's blog and then received a text message about some extra part time work that was being offered to me. I wasnt sure if I was interested in the work...But I thought, "to start is a good start" and so I inquired about more info into the specific details of the work. I was then told to contact so and so...and I had a thought for a moment as like ah I can do this later....and then I remembered and said, "to start is a good start" and I thought about Gian's blog sharing and the point of trying things out by taking those first starting steps and if things don't work out, fine...then try something else,..no big deal. So I called the guy who I didn't know but was referred to from a friend and explained who I was and what  I knew about the part time job opportunity. I am now meeting with this dude tomorrow morning at office headquarter for a meet and greet and to get a feel for what the job entails within the immediate work environment.  The dude also told me this is part time now...but could lead to full time work later. I told the dude I have a contract commitment outwest starting towards the end of April....the dude seemed kind of impressed...and still wanted to meet and chat...and so I am going in to explore this money making opportunity.

"To Start is a Good Start" as like if there is a WILL there is a way as the will is the way as willing a way forward as to carve a path as to create an oppneing as to give self opportunities by making the most out of the moments here.

"To Start is a Good Start" is like working out as a means of physical support as like ok, doing push ups as a means of physical self suport and stability and strenght training....at first you start with one...and then you build on that one...anddo another one...and you go from there, building off the initial starting point...as the start is a step in the right direction....a start is a step in self direction as even if the start as the the step doesnt lead to further steps taken in that direction...that direction is now known as not the way forward...so as to remove the unknown variables by walking the steps forward one by way...and realising therfore when to take steps in other directions as means of firection self direction....and directing self direction as what is best for all life starts with a start as, "To Start is a Good Start."

I really like this saying, "To Start is a good Start." Simple and practicle self directions as like the recipe for self perfection. It's funny because within Gian's blog he acknowledges how he realised the missing ingredient within his process over the last 4 and a half years as being dedicated to creating a world that is best for all Life here.

'To start is to start' is definitely a key ingredient in walking process as what's best for all life here.

Thanks Gian, I agree, to start is a good start!

A link to the Destonians web page where I found Gian's blog and the place where many Destonian's share cool words of assistance and supoport is: http://destonians.com/

Day 231 Legalising All Drugs

Problem:

Illegal drugs and organized crime....also known as the war on drugs.  War on drugs is a waste of humans resources and potential. Many lives lost due to the war on drugs. Drugs exist as like some form of medicine...and there are devasting consequences to not regulating the qualities of medicines available here as drugs. Drugs are compromised in their quality ofen to increase profit margins as a means of making more money/profits. Drug education is less than stellar within the education system largely due to the fact that there is a war on drugs. Defining drugs as bad and therfore illegal is not an effective way in producing a society/world that is best.

Looking at the money movement in relation to illegal drugs, there is some obvious absurd ridiculousness being accepted and allowed. Illegal drugs generate HUUUUUUUUUGE amounts of money...to big to even calculate....there are some various estimates...but the actually amount of untaxed money being made as a result of the movement of illegal drugs is not known because their is no taxes accounting for illegal drugs...as commodities that generate HUUUUUUUUGE profits without any tax deductions. 

Consider all the money that isnt founding programs of assistance and support for human beings on planet earth.

Consider all the money that has and is in the process of being spent on the war on drugs. Notice the effectiveness of the war on drugs.  The war on drugs has proven very effective in perpetuating the movement of HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE amounts of untaxed dollars. The war on drugs has not been at all effective in preventing the flow of illegal drugs.

Note, countless lives have been compromised as result of drugs being illegal. Consider all the people incarcerated for drug related charges.  Consider all the people murdered in drug related incidents. Consider all the people who over dosed on illegal drugs due to the product being of an inferior quality.  Consider the amount death prevention possible if proper education and instructions about drug consumption existed. Consider how many children are without a parent as consequence of parent being imprisoned or killed in drug related activities.

Solution:

Legalising the production, distribution and consumption of all drugs.


Reward:

Organized crime drastically reduces.

HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE amounts of funding for projects of assitance and support for the well being of humanity at a global level due to accounting as a means of taxing all drugs as a taxable commodity that taxes go towards assiting and supporting human civilization.

Reduction of shitty pharamaceutical drugs being used as prescriptions with a plethora of side affects.

The best quality of drugs available.

The best drug research and education available for everyone.

No more wasted tax dollars funding a never ending war on drugs. Which means more money available for projects that can actually benefit humanity in a way which is best.

More legitimate business opportunities.

Less boarder crossing delays.

Less imprisonment.

Less drug related death.

Less poverty.

Day 230 What Did I learn Today?

To Start, I listened to the Eqafe recording http://eqafe.com/i/mmcdonald-drifting-off-the-causes-and-correction-reptilians-part-138

Within this recording the point was mentioned about on a daily basis in writing, making a point of making it known what was learned today. This point resonated with me because often I make a mental note of ok, I learned this and just leave it at that...instead of sharing in writing the point I learned...also to leave a track record of my daily learnings.

What Did I Learn Today:

Emphasis strengthened on the point of not taking people's actions seriously as to get offeneded and go into a state of reaction as like taking people's reactions personally. Example, I was teaching many people how to ski today. Some of the people I was teaching how to ski were quite satisfied exploring the skills they had on the ski slopes and were not at all interested in learning new ski skills at the moment...like they needed to understand the skills they had a little more...or were more than content playing with what they got. Within teaching I want to progress the student as much as possible. I realised within this approach, that sometimes the student only wants to go so far with the progression at one time....and even though I would like to progress the student as far as possible....the progression cannot happen if the student isn't open to further progression.

Sometimes it's good to take a break and concentrate on something else. Example: Trying to cram so much knowledge within myself in working through university studies....after awhile I am not absorbing the info as quickly as initial rate of knowledge absorbtion and taking in the info becomes almost like a battle.....This is indication/indicator time of..,ok lets take a break and do something else so I can come back to studies later with fresh eyes. Lady I was teaching skiing who I shared thhis experience with, informed me how runners in training would go for 10  minutes and than walk for 1 minute and how even sometimes within races.....when a runner was quite fatigued and therfore stopped running and went into a walk for a few moments...was able to recooperate much quicker and return to a higher body performance than the individual who was fatigued and did'nt take a break but just tried to keep going. Emphasis of this learning here is that switching gears so to speak or shifting attention as a means of assistance and support is beneficial as like more can be accomplished within the same time frame by giving self opportunities to rest as like changing the pace of engagement/activity.

Blame is like a slippery slope as like a trick as like a fearful path to take as like being fear possessed and therfore trying to coverup self accepted and allowed inadequacy with deflection/projection away from self as like to shift attention aways from self as the root cause of consequence. Example, I hit the snooze on my alarm today and as consequence was a few minutes late getting to the ski hill...in my backchat I thought about blaming my girlfriend for the delay...as like telling my boss I was late because I had to pick my girlfriend up on the way to the hill. I realised the point of ridiculousness within this and faced the music so to speak as I walked through the consequence of hitting the snooze and being a few minutes late for my private ski lesson this morning.

Utilising the opportunity to talk as a means of opening up the point of sharing self expression is cool with and brings about unknown potential. Example: Riding up the ski lift with student: pushing the point of engagment through communication as like taking the time to get to know the individuals on a personal level as what they like to do when they are not skiing...their profession....how's school going....sharing jokes, silly sounds, sharing about me, asking questions, listening to their story.....emphasis here is an openess to giving and receiving as like giving like I like to receive. Communication is fun and cool. I am grateful for all the communication opportunities I have while working at the ski hill teaching children and adults how to ski.

Self support in communication as a point of self direction as assistance and support....as I speak words of assistance and support as equality and oneness I assist and support myself and others as equal and one as you is me and me is you. Example, Family dinner conversations....moments and opportunites come about to share....sharing as assistance and support is only available when self is not possessed or consumed by reactions as taking shit personally as like reacting to people's reactions. LOTS of cool and fun opportunities within self expressive communication to play with what one says as living words when one give's one the gift of being present within not accepting and allowing judgement about the company one is in the presents of....and notice the presents as being  in the company of presents...like people's presents. And again.....it's all a mirrored self reflection here.

I like eating salad as a lunch...or even eating just some lettuce is cool support for my body. Also...my body doesn't require as much food as sometimes I think I need...start with less and go back for more after finishing food and having atleast one glass of water if not satidfied...however I found that taking smaller portions is something I am capable of doing....and allowing myself to savour my food a little more...as like I don't have to eat my food as fast as I can out of fear that I will not be able to finish all the food I have taken if I don't eat super quickly...like I only have so many minutes to get in the food before my body is like that's it.

Best not to criticize girlfriend, especially when she's about to give me a blow job.

Day 229 The Ridiculousness of Professional Sports

Problem: Professional sports exist as big business entertainment with no real regard for human dignity and integrity.

If we look at the word "sport" and consider what synonyms exist for the word "sport" as a verb and a noun we will notice an interesting thing. Synonyms for the word "sport" as a noun include: fun, game, play, amusement. Synonyms for the word "sport" as a verb include: play and frolic. (source google definitions)

The point I am exposing about sports here is that the nature/spirit of Sport is physical self expression as to play and frolic about as like game playing amusement.

The Spirit and Nature of Sport is lost within our current capitalistic system at the professional level. It's a really bad joke as absurd ridiculousness.  Physical well being is tainted with abuse for moments of glory as like the mentality in professional sports is all about winning because 'money' is synonymous with 'winning'.

The ridiculousness is exstensive within professional sports at the moment. Professional sports are perpetuated by fanaticism.  Professional sports being perpetuated by fanaticism is no different than the ridiculousness of religion/spirituality.

Lets take a moment here and consider that our accepted and allowed almighty God of existence is MONEY. Meaning things happen because of GOD...the will of God....I mean...the will of MONEY.

Ok, so, MONEY moves people as like it's all God's will...and God is Money...so everything is determined according to the wrath of Money/God.

Professional Sports exist as Money Competitions. Professional Sports exist as God Competitions as like who is the biggest Ego of them all...as who is the best/winner....notice the best/winner never remains the best/winner....it's but a blip in time as the moment of glory....and the glory is glorified by all religious lunatics...I mean, fans...fanatics...people here in search and hope their preferred chosen one will be rise to the top as being like a temporary messiah in time as sharing the message and praise of adoration to all the fans...as giving thanks to all the fans as this would not be possible without the support of all the fans which it is important to note that fans are fanatics which is.....absurd ridiculousness.

Did you know that people are dieing every day of starvation because there losers? Really...because Life has been phrased as a Game...and if you're not a winner...you're a fucking loser...and Winner's of Sports win at the professional level by beating the shit out of the other team...and the win comes at the expense of the loser...like the messiahs cannot exist and be worshiped without all the worshippers/fanatics/losers...you know those that are just genetically inferior to those of us who are genetically superior....you know kind of like slavery.

Did you know the #1 ranked professional golfer in the world, Rory Mcllroy just signed a 10 year endorsement contract with Nike for 200 Million Dollars in American Currency? You know Nike right? Nike is one of the kings of sweatshop labour....where genetic losers slave away for a couple dollars a day making Rory's clothes and other winner's clothes, like the people who aren't deemed total losers by God/Money but really worship Mesiah's like Rory.

Isn't it cool that we humans have collectively allowed ourselves to place different monetary values upon ourselves....like we say ok this guy Rory and this guy Tiger get to be big winners....like such big winners that their winning's is going to come at the expense of 20 million losers....like you know....20 million people can have a terribly shit experience here on earth so that Rory and Tiger can be regarded and worshipped as Golf Gods. Fucking cool Right? I know my fucking sarcasm is brutal.

The Facts that make up our Global Labour force are beyond brutal...and Professional Sports assist and support the perpetuation of serious fuckedness within our shared existence.


Solution: "Equal Money Capitalism" see link for more info http://wiki.destonians.com/Equal_Money_System

Equal Money Capitalism could also read as Equal God Capitalism as each being is valued as an equal and one god of existence as all life being regarded and dignified so that never again do we create a winning at the expense of losing per diem where starvation is justified as the will of God/Wrath of Money.


Reward: Planet Earth Becomes Planet Awesome as Awe-So-Me as awesomeness in all ways that are awesomeness as beings are most excellent to each other in all ways as All Life is regarded and dignified within the principle of equality and oneness.

Sports become available for everyone to play.

No more pressure to perform in sports. Losing a game doesn't mean not becoming a saviour.

Everyone is a Messiah.

Poverty will no longer exist.

Team Life Plays the Game of Life for the first time as the Game of Life that is BEST FOR ALL LIFE as ALL LIFE WIN as No LIFE is Disregarded snd therfore All Life is Utilised as Greatest Potential...as All Life Participants here are Part of Team Life and the Greatest Potential of Team Life as All as One as Equal is like wow this is awe-so-me!

Day 228 Offended By Univeristy Info

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to the course material for my university law classess as being dumb, stupid, retarded, wow, like I cannot believe the amount of rhetoric and semantics and dumb ass'ness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for taking offense as like being personbally insulted at the quality of inofrmation I am required to work with while particpating in finishing my university law classes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for entertaining backchat as like fuck this bullshit I don't want to give any more time and attention to this shit.  I forgive myself for not realising and understanding the bullshit within myself that I am giving attention to as my backchat acceptances and allowances that are fucking with me and causing me problemes within moving through university studies with effortless ease.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for placing myself as superior to university studies and thus taking shit personally when I see that the information is not based in common sense as what is best for all life...and is made out to be logically flawed based upon competing self interests.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that I have to like what I am reading about to actually move through the work and particpate within it effectively.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having temper tantrums within myself while attempting to work through university law class work.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting angry, irritated and frustrated with the information I am working with in my university law studies.

I forgive myself for not realising and understanding the ridiculousness of reacting to information as like being possessed and put under a form of self hypnosis as like a spell being cast upon myself as consequence of my reactions to the information.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for giving my power away to feelings and emotions about information.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking and believeing that I must agree with the information I am working with in order to be effective in working with the information here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing myself to be separate from the information here as like being better than the information here na dabove and beyond the bullshit that is here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for struggling with the point of equality and oneness with regards to university studies and moving through information within the education system.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being so sensitive to information that I can be influenced by information.

I forgive mysel for accepting and allowing myself to be influenced by information in a way that is not supportive as like reactions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get emotional about information,

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for taking information personally.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not allowing an equal and one relationship with the law material I am required to understand and work through.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being my own worst enemy as like creating conflict within myself in working within university law studies.

I realise the ridiculousness of my actions as like self inducing reactional hypnosis to knowledge and information.

I realise the information is the information and reacting to the information as like taking offense to what the information is...is ridiculously absurd because that is accepting and allowing a point of conflict as like accepting and allowing oneself to feel attacked and threatened and hurt by what is said as the information.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for feeling attacked and threatened and sadened by the university law information I am reading.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting depressed working with the university law information.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for giving my power of self support as stability away to emotional reactions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating judgmental perceptions about university law studies.

I realise the ridiculousness in reacting to the course material...as the course material is the course material and me reacting and taking course material personally is just a ridiculous self induced mind fuck.

I realise that self inducing a mind fuck as consequence of reacting to university law material is absurd ridiculousness.

I realise inducing a temper tantrum within myself as consequence to being required to work with university law information is absurd ridiculousness.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself reacting to information....I stop and breathe and I realise the ridiculousness of taking offense to knowledge and information as like absurd ridiculousness.

Whena and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to have a temper tantrum within myself about the law material I am reading, I stop and breathe and allow myself a luagh at my own expsense as like  exposing a moment of ridiculousness as like oh shit I realise how ridiculous I am behaving...I am grateful to catch myself in the moment of ridiculousness so I can stop breathe and laugh as the cure to ending ensuing ridiculousness.

When and as I see myself existing within a relationship of conflict friction towards university law studies, I stop and breathe and accept and allow myself to stop the self induced battle and war...and I take a moment to smile/giggle/laugh at myself  and therfore I call a truce as equalizing myself with my university law studies...so that no separation/friction/conflict exists within me and my university law studies.

I commit myself to stop reacting to  knowledge and information.

I commit myself to not taking knowledge and information personally.

I commit myself to no longer be hypnotized within reactional state of possessedness to university law course material.

I commit myself to exposing the ridiculousness of taking offense to knowlegde and informtation.

I commit myself to stop being offensive/defensive and neutral in sharing knowledge and information.

I commit myself to equality and oneness within knowledge and information.

Day 227 Univeristy Resistances

I'm writing out my relationship towards my university studies as a means of giving myself more clarity and direction as focus and discipline within my studies.

At the moment, I care about my university studies in the sense that I want to complete my undergrad degree. I fear losing money invested into completing degree. I have trouble getting immediately engaged with university studies. University studies seem like a chore more than a joy.  I would prefer doing almost anything else than university studies. I get overwhelmed at all the readings and assignmnets I am required to complete...and sometimes I react to the amount of work that is required of me and I look for shortcuts as ways to get the work done quicker. I think about working on my university studies daily...but I have a hard time of actually working on my  university studies daily. I am holding a bit of a grudge against my university studies. I have been making a big deal about my university studies and have created difficulty in time efficiency with regards to appropriate amount of attention to studies and other things as consequence of accepting and allowing myself to give into temptations as distractions as any and all ways to advert attention else where. I feel like I am trying to force attention on university studies...and that schooling has always been something that I've had to really try and force upon myself to give attention to it...as like I've created strain and stress about moving through school work.

Ok, Im going to move through my above writing with the tool of self forgiveness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to finish my undergrad degree out of fear of not completing my undergrad degree and disapointing my parents.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to lose money if I don't complete my undergrad degree.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for placing stress on my university particpation in relation to money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating a love hate relationship with regards to university studies as I actually like the work some what when I allow myself to get engaged in what I am doing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing hatred and resentment at society as a whole with specific regards to the education system.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for manipulating myself and projecting blame as separate from myself outwards at society as like the education system being separate from myself.

I forgive myself for not realising and understanding that I have created trouble for myself in terms of getting engaged immediately within my university work because I have accepted and allowed myself to not actually want to immediately get engaged in univsrity studies and that I in fact hope there is some sort of way for me to avoid university studies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating the thought of hope that there is in fact a way for me to avoid my university studies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for connecting university to the word chore and for accepting and alllowing myself for defining chore as like work I don't really want to do and that I have resistance towards chores as I have accepted and allowed myself to define chores as unfortunate negative experiences that are required to correct.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for polarizing the word chore and for connecting university studies to the word chore.

I forgive myself for accpepting and allowing the word joy to be separate from the word chore due to accepting and allowing myself for polarizing the word chore.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowiing myself for mind fucking with myself in the sense that I think about things that I would prefer doing rather than what I am committed to doing...as I realise thinking about things I prefer doing more than school work serves no practical purpose when I made a self commitment to finish my undergraduate university studies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get overwhelmed by the work that is required of me to complete at university.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for stressing myself out about my university studies by connecting the money relationship to my studies in the sense of accepting and allowing the fear of loss as possible consequence of fucking up my studies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for worrying about completing my studies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for doubting my ability to move through my university studies effectively.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having a polarized relationship with my university studies as like placing my university studies beneath myself as like to project myself as more than my university studies and my university studies as inferior to me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a punishing relationship of avoidance and betrayal in relationship to my university studies.

I forgive myself for not realising that I don't maximize my time when I accept and allow myself  to distract myself from my studies because those moments of accepting and allowing initial distractions are moments where I commited and dedicate my time to working on university studies...and therefore by squandering that time by going into temptation as distractions...I am losing out on free time in the future because I will have to come back to the point that I am neglecting in the moment.

I forgive myself for not realising that I have been self sabotaging myself within my relationship to university studies in that I punish myself by taking away free time and leisure activites away from myself by not being dilligent and discipline in my focus and keen assertiveness to the task at hand as moving through reading material and assignments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging the material I am required to read as like defining the material as too much as like allowing myself to be annoyed and irritatted and dissapointed with the amount of material I am required to move through.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for holding a grudge against my university studies and withinin this I forgive myself for not realising and understanding that I have been holding a grudge against myself as consequence of not realising myself wihtin and as university studies as the living participant here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for  making a big deal about university studies as like this monumental challenge of a mountain that I am required to climb and there is no incentive for climibing the mountain.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that I need incentives in order to do things...and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resisted seeing the points of self perfections as means of self improvement that I can take and utilise from my relationship with university studies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for dimishing the importance of school.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making completion of final university credits extremely difficult.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for giving into backchat as a means of temptation as backdoor routes of paths of avoidance that I can follow.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for giving into temptation as backdoor routes within my mind that are based on self itnerest within and as polarized energies which is a direct result of accepting and allowing fear possessions within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing strees and strain upon myself as consequence of accepting and allowing an abusive relationship with university studies and schooling in general.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having regarded schooling as me against the system as like refusing and refuting brainwashing indoctrination.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for lowballing my universty studies in the sense that I have not been the most efficient with my time here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having pissed away many moments of my existence...operating at less than maximum potential and efficiency.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for slacking off on my university work and fucking with myself in the process.

I realise the ridiuclousness of my actions and my accepted and allowed behaviour relationships with regards to univeristy studies and the completion of my university studies.

I realise the absurd stupidity in wasting time giveing into temptation as like backdoor paths of avoidance because I will have to come back to the point eventually and thus I am just wasting my time by accepting and allowing myself to avoid direct immediate resposnibility in the moment.

I realise creating stress and strain towards university studies is dumb...and I no longer wish to particpate in dumb participations.

I realise I am capable and able to finish university studies with focus and dillignece in self discipline and that I can actually enjoy the process of walking university studies into completion.

I realise I am completing my university studies for me and it's not about my parents or anybody else...and that In fact as I move me for me...I stand as what is best for everyone.

I realise worrying about losing money invested into school is ridiculous because worrying leads to more worrying and worrying isnt a fun or cool way to spend even a second of one's time.

I commit myself to allowing myself to enjoy process of completing university studies.

I commit myself to stopping any and all distractions that come up as resistances to completing university studies.

I commit myself to making completion of university studies number one priority for myself.

I commit myself sharing my process through the completion of my university studies.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself squandering time I set aside for univeristy studies...I stop and breathe and return to my studies and realise the ridiculousness of self sabotage in squandering time as like missing and wasting opportunities of self change as self realisation and self correction and obvious self enjoyment as practical living self expression as the solution to Life birthed from the physical.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to talk shit about university studies...i stop and breathe and realise the ridiculousness of projecting blame as being lame.

When and as I see myself to loooking to escape self responsibility to completing university studies, I stop and breathe and face myself responsibilities as a means of nurturing my nature as assistance and support as equality and oneeness and what's best for all life here