Day 226 Being a Poor Sport

So I played floor hockey tonight and my team lost 2-1. There was some anger/disappointment/frustration/irritation/blame being expressed amonst the team members.

The team I am playing on is with people who grew up playing competitive sports...and winning is of utmost importance....where it's fun to win and it's not fun to lose. I too grew up with the attitude it's all about winning.

My dad would asked me if I had fun after playing a game of hockey or soccer on the drive home...and it bothered me when he would ask me if I had fun when I lost...I mean I did see the point in him asking the question and I am grateful he asked me this question as a point of support to not get swallowed up in obsession/possession as like totally energteically charged as emotionally attached to the outcome of a game/sport.

So, playing hockey tonight I had a few reactions to my teammates getting upset about losing the game and not exhibiting great sportsmanship towards the other team at the end of the game. This reflect my past acceptances and allowances as being a poor sport.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing winning to be of utmost importance.

I forgive myself for accepting and and allowing myself for limiting self enjoyment within sports and games to only having fun if I win and if I lose than I didn't have any fun.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not enjoying the whole process within sports and games...and for determining my self enjoyment at the final outcome of the sport/game

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be a poor sport.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for investing emotions and feelings in losing or winning as like I am on positive feeling high when I win a game and an emotional low negatively when I lose a game.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising how I would shift into different character personalities based upon the outcome of a game.

I forgive myself for not realising the connection play out of desire to be superior and the fear of being inferior within sport as like investing so much feeling and emotion into the game as like being serious about fearing to lose the game.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having devlopped a ridiculous relationship within winning and losing as like winning is everything and losing is terrible defeat as like the end of the world.

I forgive myself for not at all considering the people I am playing against who experience a loss when I experience a win.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for projecting blame upon on others when I lose as like reasoning as excuses and justifications as to why the loss happen so as to delfect any responsibility and accountability for the loss and to in fact give my power a way to those I blame.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the attitude of winning at all costs where in fact I disregard myself and others for the self interested energetic experience.

I forgive myself for not realising the consequence of self interested experiences as the root causes in global abuse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having limmited self enjoyment within sports and games as consequence of the win/loss relationship of feeling/emotion energy game.

I forgive myself for not realising the ridiculousness of accepting and allowing myself for taking a win or a loss personally as like accepting and allowing myself stability to be influenced within energetic fluctuation of the outcome of the game/support as winnin/lossing/tie.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting to sports and games within the energetic experiences of winning or losing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for abusing my body within sports as consequence of chasing after the desire to win at all costs.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for sacrificing my body to win in sports.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself fo rhaving perpetuated the output of mind consciousness systems within myself as polarity frictioned energies as positive feelings and negative emotions stemming from the fear of loss and the desire to win which is a derivative of the fear of loss.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for connecting feelings and emotions to sports and games.

I forgive myself for not realising the benefits of equalizing myself within sports and and games as a stable particpant here regardless of winning or losing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having perpetuated the attitude of winning is everything and losing is a shame/terrible/worst experience to be avoided.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for praising others when they win a competition and consoling others when they lose a competition.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having attached emotions and feeling to competiion.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising the benefits that are best for all life here in equalizing the relationship to and as competition.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing competition to be rooted in fear of loss.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for particpating within a superiority/inferiority complex within sports/games/competitions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the emotional and feeling extremes to exist as love and hate within sport/game competitions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising the ridiculousness of attaching love and hate as feeling and emotion extremes to sport/game competitions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having projected blame and hatred towards sports and games upon realising my relationship within sports and games as like blaming sports and games as the reasoning why I created the relationships of polarity frictioned conflict within spors/games competition.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having deflected blame as believing blame to be separate from myself as like to defend my ego of self itnerest so as to shield the ridiculousness of my relationship accepted and allowed participations within sports and games.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting within sports and games.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having justified and self validated the existence of feelings and emotions within sports and games.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for connecting positve energy feelings to winning sports/games.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing negative emotions to losing sports and games.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating addictions towards polarized energetic experiences.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for feeding the high experiences within sports and games as consequence of accepting and allowing emotional lows within sports and games.

I realise the ridiuclousness of accepting and allowing positve feeling high experiences within sports and games.

I realise the ridiculousness of accepting and allowing emotional low experiences within sports and games.

I realise the ridiculousness of sacrificing physical well being in sports and games as a consequence of chasing after the desire to be the best as the winner within sports and games.

I realise the ridiculousness of taking a win or loss within sports and games personally as like allowing myself to be influenced by a win or a loss.

I realise the benefits of equalizing myself within sports and games as the winner and the loser.

I realise the ridiculousness of polarizing the relationship of winner and loser within sports and games.

I realise the ridiculousness of acting out positive energetic experiences within sports and games.

I realise the ridiculousness of acting out the negative energetic experiences within sports and games.

I realise the brutal nastyness of participating within sports and games within the starting point of a polarized relationship as separation as like fragmenting myself.

I realise the ridiculousness of reacting to the outcome of sports and games as like sacrificing my physical body as like participating in the play out of eitheir the high/low/neutral experience within sports and games.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing a polarized relationship within participating in sports and games, I stop and breathe and allow myself a laugh at the ridiuclousness of accepting and allowing such a relationship and therfore I stop the abusive relationship and build a supportive relationship as equality and oneness as what's best for all sports and games.

When and as I see myself reacting to another participants reactions within sports and games, I stop and breathe and realise the ridiculousness of taking reactions personally.

When and as I see myself desiring to win and fearing to lose, I stop and breathe and take a moment to laugh/chuckle/giggle at the ridiculousness of accepting and allowing such a relationship...and I allow myself to share the ridiculousness with those around me as living words of support as a means of preventing future participations within a polarized relationship of abusrd ridiculousness.

When and as I see myself engaing in the act of blame within sports and games, I stop and breathe and realise the ridiculousness of particpating as a poor sport...as like the ridiculousness of polarizing myself within conflict and friction.

When and as I see myself supporting others particpations within the play out of polarized energies within sports and games, I stop and breath and all myself to speak words of support so as to expose the ridiculousness of accepting and allowing such a relationship...and therfore open up the funny as self realisation as the ridiculousness exposed as a means of self support and prevention of perpetuating unnecessary abuse.

I commit myself to exposing the ridiculousness of emotions and feelings within games and supports.

I commit myself to using comedy as a means of facilitating self realisation in exposing ridiculousn absurdities.

I commit myself to equalizing my relationships within sports and games,

I commit myself to sharing the self realisation that equality within sports/games/competion is the best way to participate within sports/games/competions and is consistently the most enjoyable way to participate within sports/games/competitions.