Day 636 Relation Dynamics

Day by Day I am really beginning to appreciate all the moments of sharing that happen throughout the day. What I am realizing and understanding is how many moments are present to fully appreciate as a result of being here in myphysical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having disregarded the simplicity of physical participation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how small adjustments makes huge improvements.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the amount of assistance and support I receive in my environment is always in fact equal to that which I in fact give to myself....actually...it's like the more I support myself, the more and more and more support and assistance that is available to me from those I share my environment with.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I am receiving assistance and support when I am giving assistance and support.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding myself within Everything Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for participating within excuses and justifications that distract me from connecting/sharing/seeing a moment of support and assistance that is presented to me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for obsessing about the differences within people,...and within this not realizing and understanding the moments of self-reflection that are being presented to me here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to neglect the similarities that exist here within people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get lost within fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the nature of my existence here as like a holographic self-reflection.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for perpetuating inequality within and as our shared reality here as a result of accepting and allowing myself to exist within and as a fearful/survival mind set....of winners and losers.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I suppressed my abilities to effectively express myself as Who I really am within and as I harbored tidbits of self-righteous/Inferior Judgments/comparisons about others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting the practical living support within and as the words "solidarity" and "camaraderie".

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having feared to stand together with and as all of humanity here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to stand in front of the group as like a part of the circle as All as One and Equal Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for arguing/fighting with myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how dependent I became upon fighting within myself as a source of my attention.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have existed in separation from all of existence as a result of my fears of expressing myself here from moment to moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the absurdity of my relationship dynamics existing from within and as the depths of fear/survival...where and as suppressing self-expression makes sense and is justified within and as the self-deception of believing that I am right in my action/behavior.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how the ability to self-express myself here exists beyond the morality judgement of right and wrong.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having logically reasoned to make sense of my actions from and as a poverty/slave-master mind-set where my actions believable and justified.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing the on going and continuous commitment of moment to moment management and application where I am existing in real time physical reality and I stand as the epitome of responsibility...as I exhibit extraordinary ability to respond in the moment within and as the awesomeness of myself-expression here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having feared to risk self-expressing myself within particular moments...out of fear that I will be judged/not well regarded....I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding how within these particular moments I was in fact revealing to myself that I was in fact judging myself with low-regard and lack of self-worth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having disregarded myself within the realms of self-judgement...as like a justified self-induced separation from and as myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for pulling and pushing myself apart.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I pushed and pulled a part the relationships in my immediate environment as a direct reflection of and as how I was pushing and pulling myself a part, within and as attempts to escape my acceptances and allowances....without self-forgiving my opinions about myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how much I learn from and as communication.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent of my communication as a basic reflection and example of and as my ability to self-express myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for censoring communication out of fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how my communication has primarily existed within and as the starting point of fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing it is necessary to fear communicating.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for doubting my decisions when the decisions I make conflict with the general attitudes and directions of my environment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding my tremendous ability to relate points to one another as like having a great ability to forge bonds/connections here by illustrating the similarities within a point that is often missed when the focal point is to look at the separation existent. I see/realize and understand how to in fact remove the separation and strengthen the building of connections here that are best for life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the answers and solutions existing here as Our Physical Self-Reflection of and as Our Image and Likeness here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for over complicating the simplicity of things.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying and reasoning the need and a fascination to obsess and possess myself about and within relationships that I desire.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the mindfuck within obsessing over a particular point...as like how within and as this obsession...there is in fact a justification that is not seen/realized...as the obsession veils the justification.

When and as I see myself experiencing myself to be stuck within a point...as like a reluctance to move myself out of the point, I stop and breathe, I see/realize/understand that by beginning with a small adjustment,...that this is in fact the pivotal movement within and as self-direction/self-movement here as unconditional assistance and support.

I commit myself to the pivotal movement within and as self-direction/self-movement.

I commit myself to stop fearing to express myself in moments when and as I see I am faced with a point of suppression/fear/judgement/doubt/worry/justification.

When and as I see myself complicating things within my mind as a result of obsessing within thought, I stop and breathe..as I see/realize and understand this small adjustment is a pivotal point in changing my course of direction from self-suppression to self-expression.

I commit myself the the self-forgiveness and self-corrective application process in moment to moment application/self-expression of myself here.

I commit myself to removing all the manifested separation that exists within my mind.

Day 635 Perseverance

Perseverance sounds kind of like "personal endurance"...though it is not exact, yes, I realize that, however I do see the similarities in the sounding of the words here. Also, let me look here at Perseverance some more:

Per Severance.

What is a Severance?  What first comes to mind is a "severance package" or "severance pay" which comes as a result of being laid off, or the terms of compensation for an employee ending services rendered for an employer.

Severance can also more bluntly be regarded as the "severing" of something. Severance also means the ending of a relationship. It can mean a "breaking off of a friendship"...like to sever the ties of the relationship and or agreement. In law it can be referred to as a "a division into parts, as of liabilities or provisions; removal of a part from the whole."

So, when I first started looking at the word severance I had a small reaction, "as like oh shit...I was looking to see the awesomeness in Perseverance...and now I have found "Severance" which can easily be regarded as something that is seemingly so much less than awesome"

What's interesting about this initially observed reaction I faced...is that I took the opportunity to investigate the extent of it...which yielded some insight I would like to share.

So, in facing the fact of the matter that relationships do in fact end...that people do in fact lose their jobs...that death is a very real matter of our existence here...I began to wonder why it is that I regard the "end" of various forms of relationships as "bad". Within this self-reflective examination I noted how I have been conditioned within the tendency to immediately classify information with a particular connotation of being either "good" or "bad"....and within this it is not to say that "good" and "bad" do not in fact both exist here...but to see the interdependence of both "good" and "bad" here and that good and bad is really beyond the relationship association of my feelings and or emotions attached to information.

OK, so to bring more clarity to my investigation here, I became aware of the fact that I wasn't able to see the "Good"within the apparent "bad"...in this particular situation...how specifically it could be "good" for Severances to occur. So, this lead me on another Quest as the Question brought through the answer here for me to see...and that being, "aha, hey, look, it is in fact really supportive in one's process of development to remediate the mistakes that have been made"...Which infers that in order to live "Perseverance" One must in fact Sever relationships that are contradictory to the well being of one's ambition, goals, process of learning and expanding a particular skill set. For example, and this is a very elementary example:

"Bobby wants to be a writer but spends all his time playing video games"....See, for Bobby to begin writing here, he has to "change" the nature of his relationship to playing video games all the time. Within this relationship here, "See" that he does not require to cut out video games from his life completely...he just needs to change the dynamics of his relationship with video games...so that he can enable himself the Time to cultivate a new relationship with Writing."

So, this is an interesting example here because this reflects to me a point of fine-tuning "Change"...and also the point of "Recognition"...where there is a sort of re-alignment happening within One's cognition/awareness Here.

So, Obviously I am illustrating but 1 example of an "Adjustment" required within and as a point of understanding "Perseverance" as the changing nature of our relationships here.

So, also note here, that it is not to say that in practically living the effectiveness of "Perseverance" that some relationship connections will  be seemingly deleted/cut-off completely.  I say here "seemingly" because of for instance the "stopping" and or "breaking" of a particular habit. However, if you look closely here,even though you stopped your particular relationship association with the habit here....does it in fact mean that lets say You cut-off/cut-out video games completely from your participation....it doesn't in fact mean that video games are now non existent within the greater shared reality which we are all in fact a part of. So, see here how it is basically always the relationship dynamics that change of a point in Question...as like "What is the starting point of and as Our Association Here?"

Oneness and Equality is the Starting point of and as Our Relationship/Agreement Here. Obviously here, within this understanding and insight is "where" in fact Our "Perseverance" is required and practically able to be lived as the self-correction of cognitive-dissonance into and as the "Joy" to the World/Words in and as the restoration of Life Being and Meaning Precious and Premier Value that will be protected, supported, regarded, recognized as what is Creative and Structured Assistance and Support as the Best Giving and Receiving Relationship Agreement.

What's so cool in various degrees/dimensions of "Awesomeness" here is the fact that each One of us is a self-reflection of and as the "terms" of and as "Our" "Agreements/Relationships" here. So, Here, I again emphasize the importance in understanding Our Word/World Relationships Here as the basic tenants in and as our ability/capacity to cultivate the development of harmonious gift givings.


Note: to "Play" with what we "Say" is how we "Service" Our "Work" and "World" from day to day as the meaning of "Life Gift-Giving" as Our "Today" which is always Our "Present" Sharing the Life of Our Words Here...as Our Creative Structured Support In "Walking" Our "Talking" as What it means to in fact practically live Our "Words"


I commit myself to living Perseverance within facilitating a Practical Living World that is Best for All Life.


Perseverance is steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.

Words synonymous with Perseverance include:

persistence, tenacity, determination, staying power, indefatigable, steadfastness, purposefulness; patience, endurance, application, diligence, dedication, commitment, doggedness, assiduity, tirelessness, stamina; intransigence, obstinacy; informal stick-to-it-iveness; formal pertinacity; "in a competitive environment perseverance is an invaluable asset"

Day 634 Creative Word "Adjustment"

Ok, I feel tight and cramped…like my muscles are strained maybe a bit from the walking I did but I think more so it has to do with the consecutive days in which I have been hunched in front of the computer…like no real accountability for the pose as the post that I was expressing…it’s like I just kind of was in a slumped and slouched position because I believed that I had to…that I didn’t want to work at expressing myself in those particular moments at the computer…it’s like I justified that I shouldn’t have to express myself while sitting down…it’s like my whole relationship with sitting down is out of wack…like somehow…I’ve disregarded my back and shoulders…and the core area of my body…my stomach and ab muscles….like really neglecting my ass muscles too…like really not caring to utilize my self-strength and stamina…beating myself up within the belief…as like avoiding the effort of work that it would take to hold myself up within my seat…and I’ve looked at the point of posture before and realized the significance of posture being the pose and post you are…as a poster of and as yourself expression position in how you are aligned within the physical body…what I neglected to see was the justification as to why I really resist supporting myself within my sitting…well I see here how I’ve justified it within believing like ok well I am sitting at the table using my computer and the couch is positioned this way and my laptop is here so I really have no other choice but to bend over…and sulk…and it’s; ridiculous…that I have subscribed to such a belief and idea…justification…because I am capable of Adjustment…Adjusting my positioning and the things in my environment to make sure that when and as I am working with things in my environment I do not necessarily strain myself as a result of being resistant to Adjusting my stance and balance positioning…like it is actually a point of learning to freestyle my self-expression in and as the point of Adaptation…meaning, seeing how I can live myself here in and as the self-expression of Premier Performance….as yes, if I neglect giving myself Premier Positioning within and as the way that I seat myself from moment to moment…like what the fuck…obviously I see the point here where I actually have to give a fucking concern about myself here and my physicality and direct myself to stop half assing my seating…I mean, I am responsible for where and how I sit in every moment here...because how I sit…relates to and as my ability to eat…as I often eat in my seat…and to further the point I am getting at…is my home is where I am at…and I am at home when I sit...and rest…I am, at home always wherever I am …I am here…so the question and answer is why would I allow myself to fuck with my personal living in home comfort deliberately…I mean, really...Is it too much effort for me to really make sure…and take the time and effort to give myself the comfort of myself movement…as the moves and positioning that really support me living here…I mean yes this is it…this is the point here… is that for me to live here in a practical physical way…I got to be self-responsibility as like a point of and as self-managing my physical body here…like me as the driver of my body here…gots to make the effort to not over work particular parts of my body...and take the time to utilize and exercise my strength in physical body positioning…by playing within and as my creative self-expression here,…I mean within and as the self-realization here…it’s always play time ..regardless of what work and self-responsibilities are required…because it’s who I am within and as how I move myself and how I station myself in sitting to do a particular task…so Yes, I see that it’s all me in being here and yes there is point of and as meticulous detail that describes me as an artistic expression. As like yes how I sit here up right at my computer for the first time in some time…and I allow myself to flow as a point of strength building in my character as I reflect on and as the words I write…to make my application in self-discipline more tight….removing the looseness in and as my character flaws/weakness…by exposing myself to myself as all is always exposed…and slowing down to notice myself here and see…hey this is what’s been going on in me…I see realize and understand how to self-correct my misalignments…I’ve through and as my writing myself here…reasoned and rationalized in a self-supportive way as to how I have been behaving and what I have to say about my behaviour…and see here how I can add refinement to my behaviour as like the living definition of my words as the creativity in and as my self-expression…as me music here…in my play working together as I use this method of mediumship…meaning writing as a structured tool of support to look at me as what exists within me as my structured word relationship as the self-reflection of what the fuck is going on…and so yo, this has been a cool point of adjustment…ADD Just Meant…Adjustment.,….A just meant…meaning a nobleness to the meaning in which I speak/live…move…as the self-governing body maintenance…as I see realize and understand myself here as a word body mechanic…the basic mechanics is like basic mathematics…and the intricacies are here...as yes there are many variables and relationships at play…but the funny thing is, is that I am in the process of simplification…so that anything that seems overtly difficult and strenuous as like a real strain on my physical beingness…is because I am not effectively and correctively aligned within and as the point of simplicity as my epitome Equality and Oneness starting point of creation here…as the core of my beingness stems from and as the roots of and as Physical Equality and Oneness...that is and as my bark as my voice embodiment of me here as the living words….ok yo…so I just added in this little bit after the first initial looking investigation at the word Adjustment...see this is what is so cool in playing with words…is the we have aha I see…I going to flow and go and just see what I do as I do what I do as I trust myself to play and explore for real as yes I say oh galore…I really do enjoy the galore of knowing there is so much more…meaning this continuous on going opportunity of me to self-direct the creative playing of and as myself-expression physical movement from moment to moment…as like yo the style and grace to a self-dynamic directive flow…in and as I decide how to decision my precious precision as the surgeon doctoring the practical living words…like the recipes and the remedy’s as the spelling so it is sewed together so we remember our roots so we can pull out the weeds so we're not burning away the buds and the stems as thinking there is some divine higher spiritual power up in the clouds up in smoke as like just needing a toke as the way to get to nirvana as like some sort of dive intervention...thinking I got gods herbs…not realizing I’ve been lying as like even facing the spelling of the lie is tricky because it’s difficult to comprehend in the beginning because in a way it facing your death and your end…and so you can begin to re-plant the tree that you are…as like re-nourish the essence of and as our true beginning and our core structure foundation as our natural learning ability comes through as ya it’s an effortless flow when and as we develop the basic core vocabulary to have the bricks in place to be a master builder demonstrating the harmonical rhythmics of and as our words being the building blocks that shape the fabric of and as our fabrications here…and its interesting because I’ve only really just begun to explore the depth of my character in and as my physical body Adjustment...as like stepping out of mind indebt servitude to an equal and one play field role play...where I am the synthesizer as mc mc master music maker as I am alive with organs...and no I don’t need no transplants…because I planted the seeds within me as the words oh so proper this time because I put the o’s in and as my orgasmic expression as I blast from moment to moment as I spray with and as what I say because this word play comes out the mouth Like a faucet I am a fountain facet of expression living the who I am in and as the moment to moment application that yo yo Osho exemplified in and as his portal turn sharing moment self-expression. The word Adjustment here is what I got myself started with here,…because I could see my body posture positioning needed Adjustment…as yes the consequence of all my slouching behaviour…and go figure I was getting tired of slouching all the time…it’s like trying to hold yourself up without really holding yourself up…I mean its quite ridiculous when you think about it…because I need to be up and in position to move myself in action as the living actionable words I write…and so by barely holding myself upright in position by neglecting the stability of my core as the focal point of my stability…how am I able to really flow in and as my ability to play…I mean Premier Performance is really lacking when the core support structure is virtually non-existent as a main consideration in the games I play in being here as the expression I make in participation within and as my self-response-abilities.

Day 633 Premier

Premier is so prime as the the primer that it used to prevent destruction and therefore it so Premier to realize and understand Yourself as the World Premiere...and the Words Premier and Premiere..Because it is only within and as our self-reflection here can we see and realize the best in everything here...as the best...and what's best for all life here starts within our-self...because we must understand and realize what is best within our-self and give our self the support and assistance of what is best...so that we can always live a premier life. It is so premier that we see and realize our prime potential. To be Premier is to give Premier is to live Premier. We are Premier. When we regard all Life as Premier, our experience here is extraordinarily Premier.

For those of You that have forgotten, "Premier"....Premier is of Prime Importance....I mean Premier is of utmost importance, order and position. Premier is the best. Premier is the starting point of Creation...the earliest part of creation. Premier is the essence of Oneness and Equality. Premier is all around awesome.

What is interesting to see here is that problems have come about from the acceptance and allowance of and as what is less than Premier here...which is interesting that we would create an existence where we give ourselves less than a Premier Performance at any given time...I mean this is a bit of a serious what the fuck situation....like think back looooooooooooooooooooooooong long ago to a time when Premier Performance was Everywhere...that all that was shared was Premier...like everything was always so Prime...I mean there was no real taking at play here....because everything was given...and what was given was always the best...so there was no need to take without asking...because an interesting thing existed here at the time...there was no greater divine king than another...everyone stood equal as the great king/queen of existence here...mean how we governed our shared togetherness here was to make sure that we always give our very best...like there was no half assed performances...so everything that was done was really fucking awesome...awesome fucking...so obviously...how everyone/everything existed was really fucking Prime...I mean Premier Fucking...Now that's a Prime way to Fuck.

Who would want to express as less than the best... I mean that's like what the fuck...that's like receiving the best gifts/tools...and saying thanks but no thanks..."I'd prefer to be fucking around my own way, even if it's not that good of fucking"....I mean like what the fuck is the psychology of this type of mentality?...Obviously this mentality of being less than the best is a consequence of a long long time ago...and We are in a day and age where we can see the consequence of this less than Premier giving and sub par fucking around....I mean the irony here is to say that we've  primarily fucked ourselves into oblivion...However...No not quite...Not gonna Happen...till here no further...because...the cause be our Self-Premier Process of Self-Expression Self-Correction as Our Physical Structural Alignment here as how we can hear and integrate within and as Our Premier here that we had disregarded and distraught-fully neglected as a result of and as our misguided beliefs as how we ought to be and behave...not realizing and understanding the blame which was how we laminated the lame game as a less than premier performance piece here...and what's so funny/interesting/cool/Premier about tuning into our Shared Here..is that it's all Inclusive, Each is the puzzle piece connection connotation correlation as the key maker creator to stopping the destruction of Premier and standing as the embodiment of Premier Here to Care take the remedy solution and prevention for ever more of the prolific rape as the travesty of our shared game gamer throne reality of and as the consequence of participating within less than Premier Fucking.

So, next time you sit/squat on your holy throne and you pop a shit, look down and say, "holy shit I'm so divine...I see and understand how I'm responsible for taking care to clean up and manage my king asshole.  Holy Shit I've been a real Fucking Asshole". WOW!

Day 632 Seeing, the "I am Patience" within a Moment of "Impatience"

It's interestingly cool to see the, "I am" within and as the word "Impatience". What's so interestingly cool about this is that within seeing a Word for what it is...You can clearly See what it is not. The more clear the understanding of what something is...the more clear the understanding of what it is not. So, this illustrates how one can realize and understand "patience" by and through the examination/investigation of one's moments of "Impatience."


I also find it interesting to see how "justified" Impatience can be...as like a point of arguing for one's own self-inflicted limitation/stress/strain/suppression. An easy example that comes to mind is: telling someone to just calm down....and they respond/react by saying, "No, I will not calm down...blah blah blah blah blah...it's my right and you have no right to tell me what to do...blah blah blah blah blah...it's my birthday and I can cry if I want to....You would to if it happened to you." I'm sure everyone knows the justifying attitude I am referring to here.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the "I am Patience" within examining and understanding my momentary reactions as Impatience.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the simplicity that is possible in strengthening my Character of of Self-Expression within investigating the nature of and as my word relationships...as like how I am behaving within and as a particular action and or re-action.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the insight that I am able to garner from taking the time to investigate my behavior from moment to moment as like the nature of my thoughts/feelings/emotions that pop up within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the fear that is existent within "impatience" as like either a positive or negative energy push/pull relationship...where I have felt pushed/pulled towards doing something as like a there is an impatience/rushing desire where this energy experience generates this feeling of "I just can't wait...I need to do it...have to do it now...I just can't wait...If I don't do it now, I might miss out on being able to do it later"

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having an a polarized energetically charged relationship within and as the word "Impatience".

I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding how I have in fact acted out impatience.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding Impatience.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for rushing in my mind Impatiently.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting the "I am Patience" within and as the playout reactionary experience of and as "Impatience".

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying the energetic playout of Impatience within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for garnering motivation and inspiration from reactionary moments of Impatience within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to move myself unconditionally within and as the self-expression, "I am Patience".

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for compromising my premier performance within and as the Justification of Impatience being my starting point motivation and inspiration for movement.

When and as I see myself Justifying moments of Impatience within myself, I stop and breathe, i see/realize and understand the self-deception within and as the justification of impatience. I commit myself to the self-expression 'I am patience'. I direct myself as I am patience in moments where there is an urge/impulse...push/pull energy to react in and as "Impatience". I see/realize and understand My Premier Performance here as Effective Efficient Self-Movement/Self-Expression exists within and as the Understanding of and as "Patience".

I commit myself to taking the time to be patient with Impatience.

I commit myself to stop resisting I am Patience within Impatience.

I commit myself to practically living I am Patience as a point of support and assistance.

I commit myself to sharing the joy that is possible within and as Self-Patience.

When and as I see myself rushing within my mind, I stop and breathe, I slow way down as I see/realize/understand my premier performance within and as my self-movement here is dependent upon my ability to self-express my understanding of Patience. I see/realize/understand the best performances are self-directed as a point of patience in Motion.

I commit myself to my best performances.

I commit myself to practically living the insight of Patience in Motion.

I commit myself to self-directed movement from and as the starting point of Patience.

Day 631 Moral Dilemma

So, I've noticed how sometimes I have over committed myself within the words I have spoken. Where for example I make a statement about something or say that I will or will not be participating in a particular activity. Within looking at this point, I've come to see how in some particular instances...my initial wording statements about something or my commitment towards participation or non-participation within a point have been in vain from and as the perspective that my starting point was based within and as a reactionary nature/energy. Meaning, my words in relationship to the particular point in question carried a polarized energetic charge, as a reflection of the cognitive dissonance towards the point in question.

OK, So, This has been somewhat problematic for me, because the resulting consequence of such a scenario playing out...is that I am faced with the truth of myself here as like why I initially reacted to the point in question, and who/how I am in relationship to the point in question. What's interesting here is that sometimes, seemingly very automatically, I would perpetuate this discomfort and experience within myself of feeling like I am stuck, and not knowing what to do...as like a so called moral dilemma, because my initial Wording was out of alignment from and as a starting point rooted in Equality and Oneness. Which therefore results in the morality dilemma play out of "Damned if I do" and "Damned if don't."

This whole "damned if I do...and damned if I don't" scenario is very peculiar, because there is a point of deliberate neglect within it. The truth of the matter and root cause as to "why" this moral dilemma developed in the first place, Requires Self-Reflection and Self-Correction in order to purify the Equality and Oneness of my Character Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the problems I am creating for myself when and as I answer a question from and as a starting point of energetic reaction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to take the time to labor the changes required in free myself from the bondage of the world holds I have placed upon myself without realizing and understanding how I was in fact suppressing the nature of my self-expression within and as the moment of Initial Reaction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how the Wording of myself here from moment to moment shapes my status standing acceptances and allowances here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to tangle myself up within and as a web or words with various energetic relationship triggers that act as particular limitations/suppression and rules/laws of who/how and why I behave the way that I do within a particular moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how the truth of myself-expression is buried within and as the moments where I speak words from and as a starting point of being energetically triggered.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the simplicity in living I create for myself, when and as I commit myself to self-investigating every reaction that comes up within myself...and from here, making the commitment to stop the perpetuating playout of reactionary energy within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing the importance of stopping myself from communicating from a starting point of fear/reaction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent to which fear exists within communication...as like this unconscious energy play out that mostly goes unnoticed and disregarded most of the time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the simplicity in sorting out a problematic situation as a "moral dilemma"...where there is an experience of "damned if I do and damned if I don't"

When and as I see myself Speaking from a starting point of reaction, as like having something to hide...fearing to lose, I stop and breathe, I see/realize/understand that I am here and that I do not wish to perpetuate the mind fuck that encompasses continuously perpetuating energetic reactionary participations. I see/realize/understand the absurd ridiculousness of trying to hide from the fear that exists within and as a point of energetic reaction. I see/realize/understand the irony that exists within reaction as a point of fear. I commit myself to taking self-responsibility for my reactions/fears immediately and steadfastly by realizing and understanding how I am in fact able to practically adjust my course of actions in the moment as I see/realize and understand my potential abilities to express myself here in the moment free from the debt of fear/cognitive dissonance.

When and as I see myself cycling within my mind about what to do...as like experiencing myself as stuck within a point, I stop and breathe...I see/realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of the situation as I commit myself to taking the time to really slow myself down with my breathing...and daring myself to look at what I have resisted looking at that is causing me conflict/indecision as like a stuckness in knowing what to do. I commit myself to self-directing myself from situations/moments of stuckness by facing the ugly truth of the matter as the self-suppression that exists within myself.

Day 630 LazzzzzzzY

It's funny and fun to see words for what they are. I was looking at the word "Lazy" today. I wanted to understand why "Lazy" is in fact what it is.

L-A-Z-Y

LAZY

L A-Z Y

La Z Why

La...like the french "the"....also I noticed that "La" means an imaginary paradise.....a dream land if you will...

"Z" I associated with catching some Z's...like to sleep...thinking how the letter Z is commonly associated with sleep from the perspective of getting some Z's. "Z" is slang for sleep. "Z" is the 26th letter of the alphabet...the last letter i n the sequence of letters...it's at the end

"Y" sounds like "why"..."Why" is the answer/explanation of something...a reason or purpose.

So, looking at why lazy is lazy...it is obvious that it is because it is what it is...I mean everything is what is because. As the cause that be why...the buy...how we've sold it so...said it so...so say...the spell of and as our spelling here.

LAZY...to be lazy...is to be a sleep in action...like it's reasoned/purposed excused justification to limit ability/functionality...explains the postponement or lack of effort on a the doing of a task..

Being lazy is to be sleeping while a wake...like in an imaginary utopia...like the ultimate mind fuck...choosing to disregard physical movement...

When You are Lazy...You need to wake Up and stop being so LAZY...You can't be really awake and presently here when you are lazy...because lazy is like a mind trance state of mind...where there is a lack of self-willed motivation to move/express/live/be here....which is ironic in and of itself because...LAZY is a focused committed decision and choice

It's interesting to see the work involved in being lazy..like purposefully working on not working...putting effort/energy into a resistance towards self-expression,

LAZY is not far off from HAZY...which is some what closely related in structure to CRAZY....which can mean all sorts of things and is more complex in it's definition if you have a look because crazy is to see our A-Z and understand Why as the understanding of what is here.

So,

Next time You see that You are being Lazy, Look and Understand Why You are being "Lazy" and Make the Decision to WAKE THE FUCK UP!

Day 629 Information Transaction

 It's interesting how we live here in and as Information. Like the happenings here are a result of and as Information. Like We are here in and as an Information transference...Like All the time Transactions are happening. Have a look at how money moves as a point of Transactions...I mean look at how we communicate, essentially our sharing as how our communication is received and regarded is like an on going transaction...where and how we are always in the process of Buying and Selling.

Why do I see we are Always in the process of Buying and Selling? Well I see this as the way our sharing exists because there is a point of Choice Acceptance and Allowance. Meaning, we can willing accept and allow particular transactions to take place or we can stop particular transactions/transference's from happening.

What I am in the process of doing is taking accountability and individual self-responsibility for and as my every Acceptance and Allowance Here.

Why?

Because I see the Value in and as Life Equality and Oneness Here. I see how it is in and as the Best Interest of Life Accountability Here to Forgive the Debt I have accrued in Buying into bad Acceptances and Allowances? What is a bad acceptance and allowance? This is where I have accepted and allowed myself to invest in and as the development of a Word Association Relationship that is defined as Less than What is the Best Standing Representation of Life Here. It's Interesting to see here how I am the Ultimate Share Holder of and as My Sharing of Words Here...and thus I see that it is an Individual Personal Self-Responsibility to make sure that the standing presentation and representation of and as our every communication of Our Word's is Aligned within and as the Life Interest of and as Equality and Oneness...as this is the Understanding Self-Trust within and as the Self-Honesty of What is Best for All Life is Always the Best Gift Here.

Our Presentation, Practical Living Self-Expression as Our Self-Movement from Moment to Moment is Easy to be Well Received as an Insured Agreement Guarantee when and as there is absolute clarity within and as what is being Shared. Like there is no mystery in being straight forward...as it is clear to see what is being presented to you. Nothing Hidden.

Interesting how I became aware of how disagreement and uncertainty comes about within our Confidence in Agreement Transactions Here as a result of Fear...as the Fee we Pay as the consequential Fare of and as Self-Doubt which is a resulting factor of and as the inherent history of our track record of deceitful actions with and as our track record of receipts. Interesting to see here how we hold the key's/Tools to releasing Our-Self Here from and as Our Own Indebted Servitude. This Here I speak is in fact the Process Tool and Key which I call Self-Forgiveness.

To change our Status Standing Here from Citizen Debtor to Real Life Living Creditor as The Life Source Giving/Gifting Our-Self Life Credit. I mean, How are we suppose to be in Service of and as what is Best for all Life Here, If we do not Start by Utilizing the Taking of the Opportunity Here with and as our Time to Give Our-Self the Best Life Here?

The Process of Gifting/Giving Our-Self the Best Life Here, Starts within and as the Practical Living Application of and as Self-Forgiveness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent of and as my debt within and as my participation within Information Transactions...as the sharing/Speaking of Words from and as a Starting point of and as Conflict/friction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for perpetuating a debt within myself as a result of speaking words from within and as the starting point of debt/conflict/friction/dissonance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the amount of support that exists here within and as the Living of Words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the self-reflection and self-expression that exists within and as the practicality of Living Words effectively within and as the greatest meaning/value/potential/support/assistance/possibility possible Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding my potential ability to express myself here within and as the practical living of words within and as the greatest value.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the value of Life Equality and Oneness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as less than the Highest/Greatest/Supreme Value of and as Life Equality and Oneness.

I realize and understand the Magnificence of and as Self-Expression Here.
I realize and understand the Equality and Oneness within and as the practical living of Words Here as what is Best for all Life.
I realize and understand the self-responsibility, self-trust, self-honesty required within and as the Self-Expression of and as Our-Self Creation Here as Living Words.
I see/realize and understand the process of Self-Correction as a result of and as the accumulation of Self-Forgiveness Here.

I commit myself to the practical living process of Self-Forgiveness and Self-Correction.
I commit myself to Self-Direction within and as the process of Self-Forgiveness and Self-Correction.

When and as I see a point of conflict/fear existing/moving within myself, I stop and breathe, I locate the word within myself that represent the particular cognitive dissonance I am experiencing within Myself...As I face/see/Understand/realize the word relationship association that exists within myself that is out of alignment within and as Life Equality and Oneness, I take the time to remediate the word relationship association to it's self-corrective positioning as what is best for all Life.

I Commit Myself to the Status Standing Creditor and Beneficiary of and as What is Best for All Life Here.

Day 628 Conceited

It's Fun Funny and Cool to play with the sounding of words to see what is sometimes missed within and as the actuality of what is here in and as a word relationship as how the letters come together in producing a structured sound expression.

I'm looking at the word "Conceited" Because this is a self-defensive word I have utilized as a tool to propagate the religion of myself as being Superior in competition/comparison/judgement to others. Interestingly enough, this reveals low/inflated self-worth. I believed that it was necessary to sell/promote my self-proclaimed greatness as a way to in fact achieve self-proclaimed greatness. Motivated within and as the desire to be be famous and regarded as Royalty in Superiority, I presented my beliefs/opinions whole heartily, triggering others to fuel my proclamations and stand with my behaviour/programming/words as a result of having the very same desires existent within themselves, however, not necessarily actively engaging desire to the extent in which I have been advocating/living.

CON-SEATED !!!

Notice also how the word "Cite" and "Cited" exists within and as the word "Conceited" and how the spelling of "Cited" is rearranged to spell "Ceited"...as "Con + Ceited = ConSeated"

It's Funny to see the actual play out of Conceited behaviour because it's like trying to encourage a hypnotic trance into getting what you want...Like instead of Asking for what it is that You would Like to Receive, there is this belief that if I deceive and I believe in what is is I am deceiving about...I will Achieve the result I am seeking without being direct in my asking for it...interestingly enough this behaviour is like a "beating around the bush" type of mentality that is the direct result of self-manipulation as a result of the accepted and allowed Fear of Inferiority.

OK, Let's look at a very specific example here:

"Let me tell You how great I am. I am the Best at Everything. Everything I do, I am so good at...I have accomplished this and this and that and this...and let me go on and on about all the things I am capable of...Also that I am not not afraid of this and this and this...which is actually quite impressively and truly remarkable because pretty much everyone is afraid and I am not...I am actually so much better than You..."

OK, the point of my example here is to illustrate the specific nature of "Conceitedness", where a specific desire exists to be regarded/perceived/judged/worshiped/proclaimed/complimented in a particular manner...as like to specifically tell someone what it is You want to hear. I find this really funny, because the ridiculous absurdity of it is not heard at all within the speaker...as like there is a cognitive dissonance towards the joke/funny being parlayed here because of the serious nature of the speaker...as like the roots of the situation are seriously fucked...as Fear...is like fucking our Ears ability to Hear...and so, Fear, is like the price/FARE we pay/speak without realizing and understanding the seriousness and severity of and as our own current situation/problem...and thus we miss the Joke that we are, which in truth is Soooooooo Ridiculously Absurd that it is Funny. Albeit and Arguably So, the truth of Our-self is the Most Unfortunate Tragic Comedy Existence as a Whole has in fact ever Witnessed. Ironically enough, Seeing that our finger pointing judgement/comparison/competition has all been in vain, as the reality of the situation is that we've really just been finger blasting our own Asshole as we did not realize and understand our Equality and Oneness and therefore consequently became the manifestation of and as total fucking assholes here...Not realizing how we've proliferated the belief in our own BULLSHIT by finger fucking our own asshole within our self-judgement/comparison/competition believed and propagated inferiority/superiority complex conditioning behaviour mentality frame of mind.


To Be Continued

Day 627 Self-Obsession and Mastery

For Context for my writing today, please check out, "Activist's Journey to Life - Day 525 Self-Obsession and Mastery"

Most people are completely obsessed with one thing and live their entire lives within the pull of this massive force of gravity that is their obsession. That obsession is SELF - me, myself and I. Becoming very good at something - mastering a skill - is hard work and often requires that you rise above yourself and become something else - whether it is the music, the art, the job - whatever. What seems to happen with people who have experienced a really traumatic event that involves loss is that they shift their focus from themselves to someone, or something else. That shift of obsession seems to cause a change in their motivation, the force that drives them forward in life. It is no longer the "I" that drives them, but some "other" force that allows for the opportunity for them to develop themselves and dedicate themselves completely to something outside of themselves. Let's face it - most of us never develop that kind of dedication, where we completely lose ourselves in something. Losing yourself implies that you are willing to let go of YOU and become something else - most of us are clinging on far too tightly to "Who I am" and the likes that we would never be willing to let go like that. In a sense it is the act of giving up control absolutely - that is a scary idea for most.

The point I am looking at here specifically is:

"Let's face it - most of us never develop that kind of dedication, where we completely lose ourselves in something. Losing yourself implies that you are willing to let go of YOU and become something else - most of us are clinging on far to tightly to "Who I am" and the likes that we would never be willing to let go like that. In a sense it is the act of giving up control absolutely - that is a scary idea for most."

I garner much support from looking at these words here. Notice how our physical expression here is linked to our ability to breathe here. Notice how often we exists within some shortness of breath...like maybe we hold our breath for a bit...but then need to gasp for air...as like clinging on for dear life....like fearing the death of our-self....this I find is quite an interesting parallel to the actual practical living of our-self here...and when I say practical living of our-self here...I imply the point of understanding that to practically live here...is to express oneself unconditionally...not holding our-self back...like...meaning that we will let go of our-self always...

This is a point I have played with much...very much like a piano in a lot of ways..in terms of my tone within myself...as like the attitude of the strangle hold I place upon myself..from the perspective of how much I restrict myself from doing particular things or how much I refrain myself from restriction and give myself unbounded access to any and all possible direction by not trying to control my direction from the perspective of fearing and worrying that I cannot respond/recover from a mistake...or basically like keep myself a float with my own self perpetual motion...like trusting my self movement...as the working with myself here as what I got to work with from moment to moment.

It's interesting here because our mind as thought/feeling/emotion is in a way the control...it's how we regulate....and interesting here because as we allow ourselves to step beyond our own self-hypnotic mind control...we dare to change our programming here... I mean really...stepping out of a pre-defined self-programming perception/perspective reality and into an unbound limitless potential reality from a certain perspective as we open up a plethora of mathematical potential ability and capability because our course of action as our ability to respond and act in particular manners is not regulated and pre-determined...pre-programmed based upon a time looping mind construction that just runs laps all day on auto repeat. Kind of bizarre really.

So, For instance there are instances where I have pushed myself to move beyond the curtains of control and into the unknown within and as the point of communication...basically pushing myself to trust myself in speaking and to allow myself to flow...and play with what I say while sharing here.

Also however...I have played the tailored opposite here where I am quite restricted within the strangle hold of fear over what I say...this is a frustratingly terrible way to go about communicating I must say...and why...because of the fear to let loose...lose control of the fear....controlling and regulating a fear...is kind of a bizarre approach and consideration...it's like seeing something is fucked and shouldn't really be here...isn't really here...but making believe it to be here.. and keeping it here and making a point of fucking with it. Mind mentality as fear...moving in fear...as the control methodology...


To be Continued

Day 626 Procrastination Energy

Problem:

Having an energetic experience of "I don't feel like doing this now...even though I know I have the time and opportunity to do this particular thing I need to get done"

Prolonging inner-turmoil as a result of allowing a point to be lingering as a result of non action. The point lingers on an emotional level and physical level because the energetic experience related to avoiding the point is not effectively dealt with...and the actual physical act of doing the work/deed/task hasn't been taken care of..

Not immediately directing an energy that comes up within me...is like perpetuating a bad debt/loan...that is just accumulating within interest/stress/strain...meaning that ultimately I am paying a greater price for a point that I could have put in less time/labor to initially deal with effectively in supporting myself.

Solution:

When and as I see myself having a particular energetic experience come up within me with regards to doing a particular task, I realize this energetic charge is a self-induced mind fuck that I can choose to in fact stop...as I see realize that this is not in fact a valid point of support for me here. I stop and breathe, I give attention to my breath awareness here...I see/realize/understand myself here within my physical body and that I am capable and able to move myself beyond the restraints of self-inflicted reactionary energies that come up within me. As I give attention to my breath awareness, I begin to see how the particular energetic experience wasn't really valid from the perspective that I cannot really be possessed within energy when and as I give attention to my breathing here. I direct myself to moving myself within the physical task that requires my participation.

Reward:

By not delaying to get the job/task/responsibility/work done immediately without postponed delay because of an energetic emotion/feeling as not wanting to do it....I have more time that is stress free...I have more time to accomplish/create more things...I am able to relax...I am able to play...I am able to stand within and as the starting point of self-responsibility in and as my expression here...I am able to express myself for real, as what is best for Life....My practical living becomes the epitome of Awesome.

It's interesting to see here how my best interests compound from and as the starting point of physically moving myself to get the work done without allowing any procrastination energy to get in my way of what it is I would like to do.