Day 657 - Self-Responsibility, The Buried Treasure

Here I am with an abundant of opportunity to move and dictate the manifestation of my destiny...and the funny thing is...it's difficult for me to create direction for myself...like knowing that I can do whatever I want...and that because I have such potential...I see there is this responsibility that I have...yet it's interesting that I say that there is this "responsibility that I have"...yet it's like I have not fully realized and understood this word and point of "responsibility" that I have, and know, and am able to exercise it as much as I want....and, really living this point/word "responsibility" that I have and own.

See, what I am learning more and more on a daily basis is this "responsibility" in which I am in fact the owner....to be more specific...the "responsibility" that I have and own is "Self-Responsibility".

The funny thing here is that even though I know I got/have it(Self-Responsibility)....What has become apparent to me as like me taking on the Self-responsibility for myself here as my own parental figure...and go figure...I have been learning how to walk the point of self responsibility for myself here.

See it's interesting because I see myself enjoyment coming from actually living my self-responsibility. the interesting thing is...is that I so often was seeking this self enjoyment outside of myself...like making the starting point about a particular condition and state of experience...when all in all...I see here...me the director of and as the point of my Self-responsibility.

So, I'm more and more aware of when I am neglecting my potential to live self-responsibly...as the knowing and understanding of myself responsibilities...because what is interesting here is like self-responsibility is in fact a way to work and play in the best possible ways...and well when I neglect my self-responsibility...I neglect living/existing here in the best possible ways...and If i am not existing here in the best possible ways...what the fuck is that all about...if and as I am in fact able to be here in the best possible ways...exercising the best abilities available...making the most of myself/situations here...the point of bettering myself and this world...because of the point that I can always be making my best better...and thus I am always becoming better than my previous best...like an ongoing  fine-tuning perfection/harmony/play/heaven here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting my best possible ways of existing/expressing/creation here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself form self-enjoyment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the disservice I do to myself when I resist my very own self-enjoyment from moment to moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the self-enjoyment of myself from moment to moment to seem like a very difficult challenge at times...and like seemingly beyond comprehension.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the simplicity of my self-enjoyment being rooted in and as my response-ability to honor my self-honesty and self-trust here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for complicating the simplicity of and as my individual self-enjoyment from moment to moment as the author that I am all-ways here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for postponing greatness within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing my greatness in potential abilities here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for taking the bare minimum approach within self-responsibilities..as like a poverty type mind set...as like just enough to get by in coping with my unjust acceptances and allowances

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for compromising and sacrificing my best potential for the point of coping with unjust acceptances and allowances.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for perpetuating a poverty type mind set as a result of fearing to take on the status standing here as Self-Empowered Man of Self-Responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for working and playing in ways that are less than the best for myself and all life here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for excusing responsibility for lethargic behavior.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for validating and justifying lethargic tendencies within myself.

I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding the ridiculous absurdities of holding myself hostage within lethargy when it is in fact possible for me to do almost anything...as like giving myself whatever direction/future I would in fact like.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being reluctant to actually commit everything of myself here to my future here

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have neglected to give everything of myself to the future of myself here.

I forgive myself for myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how my self-responsibility is like an investment and insurance into and as my future well being.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting to really give a shit about my future well being.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having caste judgement upon my relationship within and about "responsibility"

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to take self-responsibility for myself in every moment here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding that taking self-responsibility for myself here in every moment is the point of actually taking ownership of my life and living here in every moment as the epitome of what is in fact best.

I commit myself to the epitome of what is in fact best.

I commit myself to taking ownership of my life and living here in every moment.

When and as I see myself being reluctant to do/give myself what is the best support/assistance...I stop and breathe...I have an aha moment as "yes", I see here and realize the opportunity I am presented with...and I welcome myself into and as the movement of receiving. I realize and understand the "movement of receiving". I see and realize and know that I cannot receive what is best for myself if I do not commit myself to moving myself into the point I wish to receive.

When and as I see myself faced with a point/gift I am resistant/apprehensive about receiving/getting...I embrace the fortune that I am bestowed...I commit myself to receiving the golden platter of support that is here for me...I realize and understand that sometimes it is quite a labor-full process in digging up the buried treasure...I see, realize and understand myself process journey to life as a digging and uncovering of buried treasure...as like it's all sorts of new discoveries of myself that I had previously mistakenly misplaced/buried/hidden.

I commit myself to the self-revealing process of my physical abilities/applications.

Day 626 Procrastination Energy

Problem:

Having an energetic experience of "I don't feel like doing this now...even though I know I have the time and opportunity to do this particular thing I need to get done"

Prolonging inner-turmoil as a result of allowing a point to be lingering as a result of non action. The point lingers on an emotional level and physical level because the energetic experience related to avoiding the point is not effectively dealt with...and the actual physical act of doing the work/deed/task hasn't been taken care of..

Not immediately directing an energy that comes up within me...is like perpetuating a bad debt/loan...that is just accumulating within interest/stress/strain...meaning that ultimately I am paying a greater price for a point that I could have put in less time/labor to initially deal with effectively in supporting myself.

Solution:

When and as I see myself having a particular energetic experience come up within me with regards to doing a particular task, I realize this energetic charge is a self-induced mind fuck that I can choose to in fact stop...as I see realize that this is not in fact a valid point of support for me here. I stop and breathe, I give attention to my breath awareness here...I see/realize/understand myself here within my physical body and that I am capable and able to move myself beyond the restraints of self-inflicted reactionary energies that come up within me. As I give attention to my breath awareness, I begin to see how the particular energetic experience wasn't really valid from the perspective that I cannot really be possessed within energy when and as I give attention to my breathing here. I direct myself to moving myself within the physical task that requires my participation.

Reward:

By not delaying to get the job/task/responsibility/work done immediately without postponed delay because of an energetic emotion/feeling as not wanting to do it....I have more time that is stress free...I have more time to accomplish/create more things...I am able to relax...I am able to play...I am able to stand within and as the starting point of self-responsibility in and as my expression here...I am able to express myself for real, as what is best for Life....My practical living becomes the epitome of Awesome.

It's interesting to see here how my best interests compound from and as the starting point of physically moving myself to get the work done without allowing any procrastination energy to get in my way of what it is I would like to do.

Day 500 Self-Righteous Authority

It's been so easy for me to talk a little bit of shit about another person. Like you know, just a little bit, whether it be to them directly or indirectly through a form of self talk or gossip with another.

This type of behaviour in any capacity in simply unacceptable.

I see how I have in many instances felt the need to say something from within the believed justification/reasoning as that I am "just being honest".  Just being honest ? What the fuck ?
Just being honest from the perspective of exposing myself within and as the self-righteous Authority character persona.

I've noticed how subtle I would be in talking shit in some particular moments.  Like there being so much disdain within myself, it's like I felt compelled to just sprinkle a little bit of diaper mouth here, a little bit of diaper mouth there, having no regard for the fact that I don't even like hearing and seeing diaper mouth behaviour.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing myself to be "just being honest" within talking shit about another being.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent of self-righteous authority persona.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for letting self-righteous authority slide within my thoughts, as like just seeing and dismissing the separation forged and formed towards others within accepting and allowing myself to avoid/abdicate self responsibility in removing the accepted and allowed separation that exists within my mind consciousness system as a form of cognitive dissonance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for for desiring to tell people things from the point of separation as like having an energetic movement within myself and wanting to jump into and as the character that is represented by the particular energy charge that the reaction represents.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the degrees of self-righteous authority within acting out any particular reaction....as like acting out any particular reaction is a point of self-righteous authority...as like being possessed within and as my accepted and allowed mind fuck.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for allowing myself to become dependent upon acting out various characters from within the realm starting point of self-righteous authority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing self-righteous authority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding how I have always been that which I fear most and that is the really irony within and as the process of self-forgiveness, self-realization and self-correction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having desired to tell people how fucked they are.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that in telling someone how fucked they are, they will respond to me with immediate feedback of a transcendental self-realisation and an in the moment practical real time living change of character from that which is totally fucked to that which is the epitome of greatness as that which is best for all Life as an actual living character standing as an exampled expression of and what is best for all Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wishing others to be that which I would like to see within myself....and within that I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for focusing upon others before myself.  I realize and understand that I can ever only see others as I see myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself dismissing the point of self-first within process of self-forgiveness and self- realisation and self correction....because of wanting to play some sorta savior Christ like character persona of feeling high and mighty within myself and reigning down upon another with and as my accepted and allowed self-righteous authority because I got a particular itch unexpectedly in a moment as a reaction that just came up within me that I am interpreting and perceiving to be a a form of attack the I will call blame as like me deflecting the apparent responsibility onto another.,,and there for believing that I must give them the ownership of fault and failure as like designating them as a fuck up.  I realise and understand that this type of behaviour is totally ridiculously absurd as it totally fucked up and that acting this out whether verbally aloud to another....or just within the mind as like a thought wheel....train of though kind of thing....is unacceptable.

When and as I see myself having a thought about how I see another person as this or that, I stop and breathe, I direct myself to forgive myself for that which I see about the particular person as a way to show myself that I can release the reigns of self-righteous authority.

I commit myself to stopping self-righteous authority.

I commit myself to realising and understanding that even the littlest subtle little bit of self-righteous authority is unacceptable.

When and as I see myself feeling the need to say something as like an energetic movement within myself as like an instability as having formed a momentary reaction to something in my environment, I stop and breathe, I direct myself in forgiving myself for the momentary reaction that created an energetic movement of instability within myself. I piece myself back together by utilizing this momentary energetic reaction within myself as a key to see a point of accepted and allowed separation within myself...so I use this point to release my accepted and allowed delusion, I look within myself to see the earliest memory connection to this point, and I forgive myself for creating the particular energetic charged relationship within myself, I commit myself to stopping and this pattern within myself. I see and realise the ridiculous absurdity of the point.  I realise and understand the practicality of self-correcting myself in the moment a point comes up.

 When and as I see myself desiring to act out a particular character as a result of experiencing a momentary reaction within myself, I stop and breathe, I face the point of reaction, I identify the energy, I see the connection to earliest memories, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to go into energy possession play out, I correct/remedy the situation in real time.

I commit myself to stop being a diaper mouth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being a diaper mouth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding my own shit.


I commit myself to providing practical living support and assistance to facilitate the stopping and prevention of self righteous authority character persona participation's.

 I commit myself to reflecting point of understanding back to myself as way to showcase myself as the point example and so that when I am communicating with another I am not making an example out of them by pointing the finger at them and saying your so this...I see and realize that within taking this approach I give individuals the opportunity to realize their own fuckedness and avoid the misfortune of cycling through an offense/defense reaction of me telling them what they are as opposed to enabling another to realize and understand what they are in fact accepting and allowing through placing myself as the living story/example/self-realisation.....I see and realize within this approach that it's like I am walking with a person through the point...like walking them to the door of understanding and realization and enabling them the opportunity to move through the door on their own as a point of self-responsibility and self direction as an individual labored process of self-accountability, self-integrity and self-dignity in facing self-reflection.