Day 702 - The Movement of Doing

The movement of doing....sounds kind of funny to me, like a religious or new age type of thing.

I write the "movement of doing" here because I am looking at the actually physical movement within and as my participation within and as being here engaged within tasks/responsibilities/activities/chores....

the point as "the movement of doing" comes up within me because I was noticing how there is many points existent within me where I have looked at and considered.....looked  at and considered from the perspective of and as actually moving/participating within.....you know doing these things. So in looking at points that I have looked at...I see how there hasn't necessairly been good reason for an actual lack of movement doing within and as these particular points. It's like sometimes in mind I kind od get tuned out of physical participation in reality....where my participation is passive in a sense because I am just moving/looking at things within my mind....and not then taking this insight/perspective/consideration into and as an actual physical realization playout. Where it's like a i look at the simulation of myself within a point....see that it would be cool and then....it's like on the to do bucket list of sorts....and there is no particular purpose created about doing it.

I am looking at here my relationship effectiveness within and as actually doing the things I would like to do.....moving within these points....opening them up for really...by beginning the physical participation dialogue....

I have noticed that I have become some what obsessed with taking in information and looking at things...without actually necessarily doing anything with the information I have worked with....like I see here I am not maximizing my potential support and assistance for myself in others in this world...by actually sharing my self-reflections....insights...and actually daring myself to participate more within points of self-development....instead of just thinking/looking about doing it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for weighing myself down from the perspective of not actually moving myself to my potential abilities to actually participate within points of interest and responsibility to in fact stand as a pillar of support in my environment/world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating reasons, justifications and excuses as ways in which I am able to talk/think myself out of moving within points I have looked at and would like to do.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for continually taking on new points of information to look at and investigate without actually finishing my investigations within a particular area of study.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting the patience to stay disciplined within learning and exploring new points/self-realizations/participations here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold myself back from actually moving within and as doing something within and as a specific area of study....because I do not see the whole finished outcome of how my participation/creation will unfold/turnout.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing and not really understanding the depth of self trust required to actually give and grant oneself permission to move into and as a solution/creation without actually knowing every detailed specific of how the point in question will manifest itself here/

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for avoiding participation within points that are not already well developed within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having some fear/angst about new beginnings and unknown outcomes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be controlled by fear and angst.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for self-sabotaging myself here by victimizing myself within fault and wrong doing....where I see and realize my mistakes...and allow myself to haunt myself by and through my misdoings.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having an apprehensiveness towards misdoings.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing mistakes/misdoings

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for existing in a polarized relationship about perfection....where I hold myself back within the notion of perfectionism where I suppress myself before I even begin participating as a point of inferiority.....and also from the point of self sabotage....where I justify doing less than my best work/effort because of the the mentality that it's unnecessary and unrealistic to actual do my best work. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating conflict towards the point of perfection.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for defining perfection within and as positive energetic light and also to sometime allow the point to exist within and as a negative energetic charge,

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating an artificial movement within myself in relationship to the living of the word Perfection.

I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding how I exist within my mind/body as a sort of articicial intelligence when and as I accept myself to have energetic conditions and charges attached to words as like my private associations that dictate my reaction to their particular company presentation and representation in the world I see.

I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding how the accepted and allowed charges and conditions as particular energies associated with words has been a direct result of the experiences felt within and as my body as emotions and feelings and therefore within this...I have victimized my vocabulary to the point of contamination where it's like an unnatural...artificial expression of myself that is existent here....because I can see and realize how I have program coded myself with words from the starting point of limitation....where I have justified the logic as the laws/rules of and as my feelings/emotions relationship to the experiences that have developed within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to actually look at my word and world relationships on a daily basis as a point of word and world responsibility and relationship development and sustainability.

I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding that effective world sustainability is within and as the effectiveness of living words!

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for dismissing responsibility away from my inner world of word relationships....and rather only look outward at word and world relationships....where within this approach, missing the truth and tyranny of myself as the most unfortunate unlawful charges held against myself which are most unnecessary forms of self-imprisonment and victimized abuse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent of legal abuse done unto myself as my word relationship charges I hold against myself as the specific memory impressions of particular experiences that shape the resonant hold on my being/body/mind ability to move within and as the doing expression and creation of myself that is possible to exist here beyond the restraints of systematic coding structured energetic restraints


To be continued

Day 628 Conceited

It's Fun Funny and Cool to play with the sounding of words to see what is sometimes missed within and as the actuality of what is here in and as a word relationship as how the letters come together in producing a structured sound expression.

I'm looking at the word "Conceited" Because this is a self-defensive word I have utilized as a tool to propagate the religion of myself as being Superior in competition/comparison/judgement to others. Interestingly enough, this reveals low/inflated self-worth. I believed that it was necessary to sell/promote my self-proclaimed greatness as a way to in fact achieve self-proclaimed greatness. Motivated within and as the desire to be be famous and regarded as Royalty in Superiority, I presented my beliefs/opinions whole heartily, triggering others to fuel my proclamations and stand with my behaviour/programming/words as a result of having the very same desires existent within themselves, however, not necessarily actively engaging desire to the extent in which I have been advocating/living.

CON-SEATED !!!

Notice also how the word "Cite" and "Cited" exists within and as the word "Conceited" and how the spelling of "Cited" is rearranged to spell "Ceited"...as "Con + Ceited = ConSeated"

It's Funny to see the actual play out of Conceited behaviour because it's like trying to encourage a hypnotic trance into getting what you want...Like instead of Asking for what it is that You would Like to Receive, there is this belief that if I deceive and I believe in what is is I am deceiving about...I will Achieve the result I am seeking without being direct in my asking for it...interestingly enough this behaviour is like a "beating around the bush" type of mentality that is the direct result of self-manipulation as a result of the accepted and allowed Fear of Inferiority.

OK, Let's look at a very specific example here:

"Let me tell You how great I am. I am the Best at Everything. Everything I do, I am so good at...I have accomplished this and this and that and this...and let me go on and on about all the things I am capable of...Also that I am not not afraid of this and this and this...which is actually quite impressively and truly remarkable because pretty much everyone is afraid and I am not...I am actually so much better than You..."

OK, the point of my example here is to illustrate the specific nature of "Conceitedness", where a specific desire exists to be regarded/perceived/judged/worshiped/proclaimed/complimented in a particular manner...as like to specifically tell someone what it is You want to hear. I find this really funny, because the ridiculous absurdity of it is not heard at all within the speaker...as like there is a cognitive dissonance towards the joke/funny being parlayed here because of the serious nature of the speaker...as like the roots of the situation are seriously fucked...as Fear...is like fucking our Ears ability to Hear...and so, Fear, is like the price/FARE we pay/speak without realizing and understanding the seriousness and severity of and as our own current situation/problem...and thus we miss the Joke that we are, which in truth is Soooooooo Ridiculously Absurd that it is Funny. Albeit and Arguably So, the truth of Our-self is the Most Unfortunate Tragic Comedy Existence as a Whole has in fact ever Witnessed. Ironically enough, Seeing that our finger pointing judgement/comparison/competition has all been in vain, as the reality of the situation is that we've really just been finger blasting our own Asshole as we did not realize and understand our Equality and Oneness and therefore consequently became the manifestation of and as total fucking assholes here...Not realizing how we've proliferated the belief in our own BULLSHIT by finger fucking our own asshole within our self-judgement/comparison/competition believed and propagated inferiority/superiority complex conditioning behaviour mentality frame of mind.


To Be Continued

Day 544 Stupid Conditioning Part 2

Continuing from my previous blog post, Day 543 Stupid Conditioning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging and defining my student as stupid based upon their learning ability.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how fucked it is to judge anyone's learning capacity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for blaming my student within and as the justification of stupidity and being slow witted.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for deflecting/abdicating self-responsibility within my duty of care for my students within accepting and allowing myself to form judgments about them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting/abdicating myself-responsibility to life as the duty of care to always exist within and as the starting point of response abilities that are best for Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for calling my student stupid.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing stupidity to exist within my reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself ofr having justified and validated stupidity and slow wittiness. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to mask insight and practical living clarity within good intentions and desires.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for blinding myself within good intentions and desires as a point of self-interest as separate from all Life as what is best for all Life.

When and as I see myself forming a judgement about one of my students, I stop and breathe, I let go of the judgement/formed impression about the student, I realize and understand the detrimental consequence within accepting and allowing myself to to exist within the parameters of judgment. I realize and understand the practical assistance and support can only be garnered within a starting point of oneness and equality. I realize and understand myself-responsibility to exist within the starting point of Equality and Oneness.

When and as I see myself having a judgement pop up within my head about someone, I stop and breathe, I delete the judgement, apply self forgiveness, Face the point of self-reflection as the self-realization of the point coming up within me is indicative of what I have been accepting and allowing myself to exist as. I realize and understand my effectiveness within our shared reality can only be as effective as the relationship I create with myself. I realize and understand If I accept anything less than what is best for myself....I am in fact compromising and suppressing my ability to have the best relationships with others beings. I realize and understand the point of oneness and equality as the same image and likeness. I commit myself to doing everything possible to insure that I have the best relationship with myself. I commit myself to have the best relationships with all Life here. I commit myself to stopping judgement.

When and as I see myself dwelling within a judgement I stop and breathe, I realize I have missed the point of self direction here and that I am required to stand as the living example/solution as my own remedy by enabling myself to create a path of self-corrective measures/directions as to enable myself to stop the perpetuation of problems/conflict and friction within myself. I realize and understand how self reflection works within opening the doors of self-forgiveness and self realization within bring all point back within myself as myself here as the starting point of creation/Oneness and Equality.

I commit myself to standing as the living example/solution as my own remedy to problems within my shared reality.

I commit myself to giving myself the best education.

I commit myself to becoming one and equal with and as the best educators here.

I commit myself to self-perfection. 


To be Contin

Day 543 Stupid Conditioning

A very interesting point came to my attention today. I noticed how sensitive I was in reacting to moments of stupidity. I had a student today who was quite stupid from the perspective of lacking common sense and being very slow witted. This bothered me a little bit. Where I found myself getting agitated within myself out how slow she was in processing information and making connections that were quite apparent/instantaneous/obvious for others.

I realized and understood that it was totally fucked for me to be judging my students ability in any capacity what so ever....that for me to take her starting point personally was actually quite stupid. Within realizing my own stupidity within my acceptances and allowances I didn't dwell within it. I looked at why I was bothered and agitated. I was actually getting mad/frustrated within myself. I realized again that this was ridiculous for me to be accepting and allowing such behaviour within myself. I questioned the point further as to why I would accept and allow such points within myself.

I saw how I would take points/interactions personally....where I could see that my student was reflecting and helping me to see that I was making the decision to fester within my own created stupidity. Kind of like where I would judge my stupidity with anger/frustration as like a form of self-righteous justification. What's interesting is that initially my seeing this was masked within the desire and good intentions...like being mad that the student wasn't better. I see here this is a point of self-reflection where I have harbored my own disappointment for not being better as like a self inflicted temporary road block perpetuating my own stalling in taking directive action in giving myself solutions so that I can in fact be better than what I am accepting and allowing myself to be.

The point also came up where I was suppressing myself in being the best teacher of support because I was allowing myself to be emotionally attached to my students performance, in that I was taking their state of performance/conditioning personally...and in turn I was being less than the best educator because I was in fact harboring/accepting and allowing spitefulness to exist within myself. It's like this spitefulness just existed within my secret mind...but this spitefulness was a point of separation I was choosing to be allowed to exist within myself as a form of self-created mental barrier that was hindering my abilities to be the absolute best point of support and assistance for myself and others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for conditioning stupidity within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the stupidity of judgment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying and validating stupidity to exist within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge stupidity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting and taking offense to stupidity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being reluctant to face the extent of my own self-created and perpetuated stupidity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having feared stupidity further manifesting within myself if I were to in fact face and own up to my own stupidity as like acceptances and allowances that are totally stupid.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing my learning ability and potential within the fear of being stupid.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for harboring disappointment within myself for my stupid acceptances and allowances.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be slow witted.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lack common sense.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing common sense within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the stupidity of impatience as like justifying the emotional experience of reaction within a moment as a result of seeing through the eyes of blame as like the veil of separation as like their always being this form of cognitive dissonance between me and another as the same image and likeness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having been spiteful to my student within getting agitated within myself that she was not smarted and quicker witted.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the shame within judging someone's intelligence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being derogatory and spiteful to those who I regard as stupid and slow witted.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for bullying myself and others within accepting and allowing myself to be derogatory and spiteful.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the shameful stupidity within self righteous indignation of judging another being's intellect/learning ability.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for participating within such shameful relationships with others where I place a sort of value score based upon how I regarded their intellect and their for value/worth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for limiting my potential to be a teacher who is always great.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how ridiculous it is for me to spite myself/all Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying and validating spite as through various forms of logical self-manipulation through accepting and allowing myself to perpetuate a spiral within an emotionalreaction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself patients to be difficult at times.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the practical simplicity in making the decision to always exercise patience as a matter of understanding and realizing prevention as the best cure.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how shameful it has been for me to have chosen to be patient only sometimes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the detailed specific intricacies within and as the practical simplicity in programming self-perfection within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the humbleness required within facing the shame of seeing my every acceptance and allowance that is not in accordance/harmony of the starting point principle of creation as Equality and Oneness Here...as that which is Best for All Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for putting myself through so many agonizing experiences as a result of allowing myself to be triggered/annoyed/frustrated/angered/disgusted/impatient within moments of stupidity/ridiculousness/dumb wittedness/cognitive dissonance/lack of common sense.


To Be Continued