Day 543 Stupid Conditioning

A very interesting point came to my attention today. I noticed how sensitive I was in reacting to moments of stupidity. I had a student today who was quite stupid from the perspective of lacking common sense and being very slow witted. This bothered me a little bit. Where I found myself getting agitated within myself out how slow she was in processing information and making connections that were quite apparent/instantaneous/obvious for others.

I realized and understood that it was totally fucked for me to be judging my students ability in any capacity what so ever....that for me to take her starting point personally was actually quite stupid. Within realizing my own stupidity within my acceptances and allowances I didn't dwell within it. I looked at why I was bothered and agitated. I was actually getting mad/frustrated within myself. I realized again that this was ridiculous for me to be accepting and allowing such behaviour within myself. I questioned the point further as to why I would accept and allow such points within myself.

I saw how I would take points/interactions personally....where I could see that my student was reflecting and helping me to see that I was making the decision to fester within my own created stupidity. Kind of like where I would judge my stupidity with anger/frustration as like a form of self-righteous justification. What's interesting is that initially my seeing this was masked within the desire and good intentions...like being mad that the student wasn't better. I see here this is a point of self-reflection where I have harbored my own disappointment for not being better as like a self inflicted temporary road block perpetuating my own stalling in taking directive action in giving myself solutions so that I can in fact be better than what I am accepting and allowing myself to be.

The point also came up where I was suppressing myself in being the best teacher of support because I was allowing myself to be emotionally attached to my students performance, in that I was taking their state of performance/conditioning personally...and in turn I was being less than the best educator because I was in fact harboring/accepting and allowing spitefulness to exist within myself. It's like this spitefulness just existed within my secret mind...but this spitefulness was a point of separation I was choosing to be allowed to exist within myself as a form of self-created mental barrier that was hindering my abilities to be the absolute best point of support and assistance for myself and others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for conditioning stupidity within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the stupidity of judgment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying and validating stupidity to exist within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge stupidity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting and taking offense to stupidity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being reluctant to face the extent of my own self-created and perpetuated stupidity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having feared stupidity further manifesting within myself if I were to in fact face and own up to my own stupidity as like acceptances and allowances that are totally stupid.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing my learning ability and potential within the fear of being stupid.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for harboring disappointment within myself for my stupid acceptances and allowances.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be slow witted.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lack common sense.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing common sense within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the stupidity of impatience as like justifying the emotional experience of reaction within a moment as a result of seeing through the eyes of blame as like the veil of separation as like their always being this form of cognitive dissonance between me and another as the same image and likeness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having been spiteful to my student within getting agitated within myself that she was not smarted and quicker witted.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the shame within judging someone's intelligence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being derogatory and spiteful to those who I regard as stupid and slow witted.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for bullying myself and others within accepting and allowing myself to be derogatory and spiteful.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the shameful stupidity within self righteous indignation of judging another being's intellect/learning ability.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for participating within such shameful relationships with others where I place a sort of value score based upon how I regarded their intellect and their for value/worth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for limiting my potential to be a teacher who is always great.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how ridiculous it is for me to spite myself/all Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying and validating spite as through various forms of logical self-manipulation through accepting and allowing myself to perpetuate a spiral within an emotionalreaction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself patients to be difficult at times.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the practical simplicity in making the decision to always exercise patience as a matter of understanding and realizing prevention as the best cure.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how shameful it has been for me to have chosen to be patient only sometimes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the detailed specific intricacies within and as the practical simplicity in programming self-perfection within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the humbleness required within facing the shame of seeing my every acceptance and allowance that is not in accordance/harmony of the starting point principle of creation as Equality and Oneness Here...as that which is Best for All Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for putting myself through so many agonizing experiences as a result of allowing myself to be triggered/annoyed/frustrated/angered/disgusted/impatient within moments of stupidity/ridiculousness/dumb wittedness/cognitive dissonance/lack of common sense.


To Be Continued