Day 525 Story of Making A Decision

I was skiing today for the first time this winter. I was skiing with a bunch of people who wanted to ski all day. I said I was tired...my feet hurt from the new ski boots I bought...initially I was thinking I can't just stop I got to keep moving with what the group wants to do. And after I acknowledged about half way through the day that I had enough skiing and was physically tired and was going to ski back to the chalet which was quite a long way away. A couple other dudes within the big group said they planned to do just 2 more runs and that they would be able to give me a ride back to my buddy's place where I was staying...the buddy I refer to is one of the people in the group who wished to ski all day.

So I said ok in thinking that I could compromise and do 2 runs instead of 1. Interesting that point of making a compromise...like why ever compromise physical well being?

So as I started traversing across the top of this big mountain, I told the 2 dudes who planned to do 2 runs that I was just going to do this one last run and that I would wait for them at the bottom if they want to do 2 runs. It's interesting because they decided that they were fine with doing this one last run.

I see how in some instances there are things that I would like to do within a group participation as like what other members of the group are doing. Like in this particular instance, skiing all day. Within looking at the point, it wasn't practical for me to force myself to participate in that particular manner...that in fact, forcing myself to ski all day so that I am following along with the group could have been quite consequential to my health/physical well being.

What's interesting and I see as cool from this ski story experience of making a decision to support myself regardless of what others peoples decisions are.....was the fact that I wouldn't have been able to do another run effectively...like it was a struggle for me to perform my skills effectively on that last run even....like I had pushed myself so hard physically already...that my muscles were fatigued...and thus  it was making my descent much more challenging than if I were not fatigued.

At the moment I am committed to teach skiing all winter...and well....putting myself in a situation where I have specific physical tasks to perform and my physical stability is compromised is dangerous and reckless......

I see here how I probably should have called it quits a run earlier. I see how I conformed to the group mentality of not wanting to deviate from the group mentality of wanting and desiring to move along with what the group wants to do. 

I see how I resisted making a decision to make a decision that is best for myself within desiring to follow along within the majority group.

I see how  it is crucial that I make decisions from the starting point that is what is best for me and that I do not accept and allow myself to compromise what is best for me within wanting to conform to peer pressure as like not wanting to move away from the group.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing the judgement of others saying something about me making a decision to move out of a particular participation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not wanting to stop participating within activities that others wish to continue participating in, out of fear of being regarded as weak and less skillful within the activity .