Day 539 Making Sense of Assumption

I was faced with a couple of scenarios today where I temporarily mind fucked with making sense of an assumption. 1st scenario which happened more then once was while teaching skiing and the amount of times I had to educate a student about how to carry their ski's when heading to the gondola. I assumed that they would totally get it after a couple of times...or after a handful of times. What's ridiculous about this is that I was slightly irked that they didn't understand how to handle their equipment. I realized and further understood the point about a child's natural learning ability where sometimes a child learns things right away..or it takes a couple times of repetition...or some a few more....or some even many more....but eventually every one can get to the same point of understanding. I see I was slightly irked because I was inconsiderate of the person's learning ability. I judged them within making sense of the assumption that I believed they should have realized how they had been fucking up within miscarrying their ski equipment. This point is also reflective how I too do not always learn things right away and immediately incorporate the correction as realization and understanding of the lesson in question. Sometimes a point takes much repetition before the lesson is realized. I see here how I have harbored some judgement and frustration and irritation within myself by accepting and allowing myself to be irked by not understanding and realizing things as quickly as I would like to.  I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness in judging and reacting to my own or anyone's learning ability. 

Second scenario where I temporarily was irked was when I asked a friend for their phone number who I had talked to the other day. This particular friend was someone who I hadn't chatted with much in a long time...until just recently...and just the day before I told them that I had their phone number and I would give them a call. I was away from where I had written the phone number down...and had not put the number in my phone. I facebook messaged my friend on my phone asking what their number was...and they immediately respond..."i thought you said you already have it"....I reacted to this...like fuck this...fuck them...I'm not even going to bother giving them a call...why should I have to explain to them that I have it written down somewhere else....I was actually quite charged up energetically about the point for a moment....which is quite shameful and ridiculously absurd...I mean I see and realize here how I had a temporary moment of impatience which was just so extremely ridiculous. Thankfully, I breathed, realized and understand the point of patience and the ridiculousness of my immediate reaction....saw that I received a message with the phone number....called them ...and told them the little story about how I didn't have their number in my phone but that I had their number written in a notebook.

I notice how in this second scenario....I made sense of my own assumption within a split second of having a reaction....and it escalated myself into emotional instability temporarily where I was charged up energetically...because I made sense of an assumption...and this making of sense...was total non sense. I mean quite irrational. I see here how I also justified that I shouldn't have to explain myself. I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of justifying impatience as like a form of administering a self inflicting dosage of electroshock. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the shame within making sense of a reactionary thought/feeling/emotion as reasoning to justify a course of action or inaction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging an individual's natural learning ability.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being impatient with my natural learning ability.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for choosing to be impatient within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have electroshock myself within choosing to exist within the point of impatience.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how many times I have made the decision to temporarily electroshock myself within making assumptions/judgments about things where I hold onto and create a particular friction/conflict and energetic charge within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being a real ass in making sense of assumptions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding what an asshole I've been to others in making sense of assumptions about others as like a form of inflicted judgement within and through the veils of separation/cognitive dissonance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing myself to know what's going on within another being's mind. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the absurd ridiculousness of making sense of assumptions about what I believe another being is thinking/perceiving.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having limited my interaction with others as a result of making sense of assumptions I have accepted about other people as like what is going on within them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be irked within making sense about another's behaviour and forming a judgement about how I believe they should be behaving/functioning/operating.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being spiteful towards others within making sense of an assumption I form within my mind as a result of and as accepting and allowing myself to judge the being in and as separation of myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a cognitive dissonance to exist within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how shameful it is to see the spitefulness that I have accepted and allowed to exist within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having believed and assumed myself to be separate from the spitefulness that exists within our shared reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making sense within my mind where I am not really accountable and or responsible for any spiteful behaviour.

I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding how shameful it is to delude myself from facing the spiteful nature that exists within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing for being impatient with a student's learning ability.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how shameful it is to be impatient with a beings natural learning ability.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be so shameful within my mind of acceptances and allowances.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the shame that results from even temporarily reacting to another human being here within and as their individual process of self-realization and understanding.

When and as I see myself being irked within a moment, I stop and breathe, I realize the absurd ridiculousness of accepting and allowing myself to induce electroshock upon myself as a result of fueling a friction/conflicted energetic charge within myself as a form of cognitive dissonance.

When and as I see myself making sense of an assumption, I stop and breathe...I realize and understand the asshole mentality within making sense of an assumption as a shit head situation that can be avoided and prevented by taking self-responsibility and accountability for my own bullshit.

When and as I see myself considering to be impatient within a moment, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of choosing to be impatient. I see/realize and understand the practicality of patience.

I commit myself to realizing and understanding the natural learning ability.

I commit myself to assisting and supporting the natural learning ability.

I commit myself to patience.

I commit myself to stop making sense of assumptions.

I commit myself to stop choosing to electroshock myself within fueling reactions.

I commit myself to stand as physical living life assistance and support.

I commit myself to changing myself for the betterment of myself as reflection of all Life here.

I commit myself to facilitate change within seeing and realizing the shame within what I have accepted and allowed that is not in the best interests of all Life from and as the principle of Equality and Oneness.

I commit myself to the principle law of existence as Equality and Oneness.