Day 543 Stupid Conditioning

A very interesting point came to my attention today. I noticed how sensitive I was in reacting to moments of stupidity. I had a student today who was quite stupid from the perspective of lacking common sense and being very slow witted. This bothered me a little bit. Where I found myself getting agitated within myself out how slow she was in processing information and making connections that were quite apparent/instantaneous/obvious for others.

I realized and understood that it was totally fucked for me to be judging my students ability in any capacity what so ever....that for me to take her starting point personally was actually quite stupid. Within realizing my own stupidity within my acceptances and allowances I didn't dwell within it. I looked at why I was bothered and agitated. I was actually getting mad/frustrated within myself. I realized again that this was ridiculous for me to be accepting and allowing such behaviour within myself. I questioned the point further as to why I would accept and allow such points within myself.

I saw how I would take points/interactions personally....where I could see that my student was reflecting and helping me to see that I was making the decision to fester within my own created stupidity. Kind of like where I would judge my stupidity with anger/frustration as like a form of self-righteous justification. What's interesting is that initially my seeing this was masked within the desire and good intentions...like being mad that the student wasn't better. I see here this is a point of self-reflection where I have harbored my own disappointment for not being better as like a self inflicted temporary road block perpetuating my own stalling in taking directive action in giving myself solutions so that I can in fact be better than what I am accepting and allowing myself to be.

The point also came up where I was suppressing myself in being the best teacher of support because I was allowing myself to be emotionally attached to my students performance, in that I was taking their state of performance/conditioning personally...and in turn I was being less than the best educator because I was in fact harboring/accepting and allowing spitefulness to exist within myself. It's like this spitefulness just existed within my secret mind...but this spitefulness was a point of separation I was choosing to be allowed to exist within myself as a form of self-created mental barrier that was hindering my abilities to be the absolute best point of support and assistance for myself and others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for conditioning stupidity within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the stupidity of judgment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying and validating stupidity to exist within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge stupidity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting and taking offense to stupidity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being reluctant to face the extent of my own self-created and perpetuated stupidity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having feared stupidity further manifesting within myself if I were to in fact face and own up to my own stupidity as like acceptances and allowances that are totally stupid.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing my learning ability and potential within the fear of being stupid.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for harboring disappointment within myself for my stupid acceptances and allowances.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be slow witted.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lack common sense.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing common sense within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the stupidity of impatience as like justifying the emotional experience of reaction within a moment as a result of seeing through the eyes of blame as like the veil of separation as like their always being this form of cognitive dissonance between me and another as the same image and likeness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having been spiteful to my student within getting agitated within myself that she was not smarted and quicker witted.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the shame within judging someone's intelligence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being derogatory and spiteful to those who I regard as stupid and slow witted.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for bullying myself and others within accepting and allowing myself to be derogatory and spiteful.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the shameful stupidity within self righteous indignation of judging another being's intellect/learning ability.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for participating within such shameful relationships with others where I place a sort of value score based upon how I regarded their intellect and their for value/worth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for limiting my potential to be a teacher who is always great.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how ridiculous it is for me to spite myself/all Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying and validating spite as through various forms of logical self-manipulation through accepting and allowing myself to perpetuate a spiral within an emotionalreaction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself patients to be difficult at times.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the practical simplicity in making the decision to always exercise patience as a matter of understanding and realizing prevention as the best cure.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how shameful it has been for me to have chosen to be patient only sometimes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the detailed specific intricacies within and as the practical simplicity in programming self-perfection within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the humbleness required within facing the shame of seeing my every acceptance and allowance that is not in accordance/harmony of the starting point principle of creation as Equality and Oneness Here...as that which is Best for All Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for putting myself through so many agonizing experiences as a result of allowing myself to be triggered/annoyed/frustrated/angered/disgusted/impatient within moments of stupidity/ridiculousness/dumb wittedness/cognitive dissonance/lack of common sense.


To Be Continued

Day 536 Private Property and Licenses-The King of the Castle

Many times I've had selfish greedy thoughts about wanting to be in control of resources so that I can be the one who collects the profit at the expense of others having to pay me because I am the owner of property. Like for instance...I've always been really annoyed with the concept of royalty...like why the fuck it's accepted and allowed. How about I be declared the royal ruler of earth and everyone pays me because I am the owner of everything....or almost everything...and how about I stand in the position as the ruling authority to say how things should be so that I can have the perfect life where all my desires are satisfied...basically what I'm saying is that if someone should get a free ride and not have to work and do slave labor....why should I?

I see and realize how my particular thinking doesn't really solve the fuckedness of the situations that exist within the world...it;s more like me being spiteful and jealous of other spiteful people who happen to be standing in higher/greater positions of spitefulness and greed...and are benefiting from the power position at the expense of others suffering.

I realize it is fucked to just want myself to not be fucked and allow others to exist within a fucked up situation....and I realize and understand it's extremely fucked up to only regard myself and not consider everything else.

I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of close mindedness as the delusion of self interest and grandeur while not regarding the consequences of such close minded focused projections and desires.

I was thinking recently...why don't I create the need for more licensing requirements to do things...where I create the business where people are required to come to me and take a whatever course to become certified to do whatever and get a whatever it is specific license. Like I mean the whole licensing thing is getting ridiculous...and I know it;s all about money...and my thinking is how I can profit and make easy money so I can have an easy life....but what about the consequences...the spitefulness within creating and perpetuating bullshit so that I can have an easy time and privileges here...like I had thought...what if you needed a license to grow vegetables..and so everyone who grew vegetables had to pay me a licensing fee....or what about if you want to throw a ball around in public....what about a licensing fee to be able to throw a ball around....or what about a licensing fee to speak in public....or what about a license to take public transit in addition to paying a fee to take the bus or any other method of public transit....like what about requiring a license to be able to be a passenger in a plane...as a method of terrorism prevention....so you are pre-screened and therefore because you bought your license you don't have to go through all that bullshit airport security because you got your license you can just swipe your card....or what about just make people have a license to travel in addition to airport security....basically what I'm getting at is that due to the inherent fuckedness of how our money system functions in the world...increasingly there is more and more bullshit created through law and legislation that perpetuates and exacerbates the inherent fuckedness of our world/earth...so that new generations can be insured to grow up within an ever evolving levels of fuckedness...because people are needing to survive within this inherent fuckedness and the nature of the game we have created is to spit on each other in hopes that by spitting on someone else we wont get spit on and that we will be able to prosper from having created and accepted and allowed disregard for our fellow beings here.

I don't think these thoughts I've had are cool at all....there all quite nasty really...reflecting the inherent nastiness of  myself within and as a reflection of humanity.

Human civilization is quite a nasty thing.

The truth is, as long as we have a money system that does not regard and value Life with the utmost importance as the highest value....we are existing within a money system that is less than great that devalues Life.

What;s interesting when you ask yourself, what is Life? What qualifies as Life? Who and What is Life? You see and realize that all actual substance is Life. This self-introspection requires one to dare to be self-honest in investigating how we have disregarded the quality of our substance here...and have compromised and disregarded our substance because that is what we were born to do...substance abusers produced by substance abusers...I mean look how substance abuse is a real problem...the fact that we don't even generally typically  regard ourselves as substance abusers if we are not doing copious amounts of illicit drugs is absurd. Because have a look; our body, our earth is our substance here...and have a look at what is being accepted and allowed to happen to our body, our earth. Abuse. Unprecedented levels of abuse. For what? For Why? Because we don't even know why....because we justify why as our just if why...as our fictional justice system because our relationship with words is of questionable structural integrity...because resistance is futile...because were so narrow minded within our self-interested pursuits and desires to be happy within the most extreme dire straits....that the coping defense and protection mechanisms of our minds/ego programming is constantly evolving and upgrading in complexity and cleverness cunning ways to out wit and outsmart ourselves as to trick ourselves into not realizing and understand how fucked we are...that hey might as well just get fucked up and believe it to be a good time fucking up our body our earth because of peer pressure...like because it;s popular to be fucked up...and fuck why not right? like, fuck it. right?...we only live once so might as well say fuck it right? it;s all about the here after anyways right....how the fuck and what the fuck kind of here after is there going to be for anyone who diminishes their substance body of earth...how can anyone claim to be at peace in the hereafter when they contributed to the fuckedness that exists to this very day....would there not exist a here after until what is here has been established and accounted for as like the very very very basic mathematics of 1+1=2?

So the links posted below are few links I looked at prior to writing this blog...the first one economists Journey to Life How will companies be Nationalized is a cool read within and as a solution to implement and foster practical living change within and as the proposed Living Income Guaranteed.

If You are not familiar with Living Income Guaranteed, Google it.

http://economistjourneytolife.blogspot.ca/2013/12/day-255-how-will-companies-be.html

The Next couple of links here are examples reflecting upon my thoughts and desire for profit off of resources at the expense of others...looking at the company Nestle specifically and how the company supports the privatization of water and thinks that water being an inalienable human right is extreme and irrational and that... well... because, water is import/vital component of Life substance/subsistence that it should be bought and sold like most other components of Life at the expense of much suffering and abuse

http://www.trueactivist.com/nestle-ceo-water-is-not-a-human-right-should-be-privatized/

http://www.nestle-waters.com/healthy-hydration/water-body

NOTE: ALL LIFE IS VALUABLE, AND WE ARE ALL A PART OF TEAM LIFE....TIME TO START REALIZING AND UNDERSTANDING WHO YOUR TEAMMATES ARE AND TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE ABUSE YOU'VE INFLICTED ONTO YOUR FELLOW MATES.

Day 420 Self Righteous Scholar

Day 420 Self Righteous Scholar





Within doing some reading for school I've found myself having some reactions/judgments about the particular scholars works I am studying and within this I see how in many instances I take a position of self righteous superiority and create opinions within my mind where I am thinking along the lines like this person just doesn't get the whole picture...like I see the limitation in their perspective here...or I see that there just creating a work of like a total mind fuck...as like making arguments and assumptions back and forth as like total semantics...and within all this...I have allowed myself to be mildly bothered by the texts that I am reading...and within this finding it difficult to move through the material swiftly.

I see how holding onto judgments and opinions about particular scholars works that I am required to work with, so that I can complete all school course requirements...is in no way helping me and is in fact been a hindrance to my movement within this particular course.

I am thus taking the opportunity here to write a release and re-programming with regards to working with scholarly course material...as I see and realise a change in my starting point is necessary because I realise my behavior within and as forms of self righteous superiority is totally unacceptable.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for existing as a self righteous superiority character within doing readings for school...and within doing some making and forming judgments and oppinions about the scholars work I am reading...and within this making judgments/opinions about the individual as like what I think of them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising the exposure of points of myself here within making judgments/opinions within and as self righteous superiority about the scholars works that I am reading and that the fact that I think that they are this and they are that is because I know what this and that is because this and that is what I am accepting and allowing myself to exist as.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for going into a form of helplessness within doing my school studies by getting frustrated with the material that I am required to work with...and for not realising and understanding that the projections that I am pushing outward onto the scholars is in fact points that I need to face within myself and that the scholars are in fact acting as like teachers and examples for me...mirroring to me where I am existing within points of instability, as a result of having energetic reactions within me as thoughts/feelings/emotions/judgments about the other that I am deflecting accountability for within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the absurd ridiculousness of making opinions and judgments about others within/while I am doing my school readings...because making judgments and opinions about another while reading, just takes away my complete focus from moving through the material as quickly and swiftly as possible without any issues and difficulties. I realise and understand that I have caused and created difficulties for myself within doing school readings as a result of not staying disciplined within not accepting and allowing myself to project opinions and judgments...and when and as I see myself projecting an opinion and or judgement, I stop and breathe and I reflect the point of opinion and judgement upon myself and I find the memory as the point of cross reference for the particular opinion and or judgement and I do I forgiveness on the memory relations where I created the initial acceptance and allowance of such judgments and or opinions.  I realise this is a step by step process and some points are bigger than others...and that it is more practical and supportive for me to in some instances make a note of the initial memories in relation to the judgement/opinion and write them out. Also, I realise and understand the point of forgiving myself for separating myself from the point in which I created the judgement/opinion about.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for separating myself from the scholars and the scholarly works I am required to work with within my course studies. I realise and understand the absurd ridiculousness of separating myself form the material and the creators of the material...as I realise and understand that creating friction within the work I am doing...just retards/prolongs progress/process within and as the work I am doing and is therefore counter productive to my effectiveness within making progress and process the material effectively and efficiently.


I forgive  myself for accepting and allowing myself for having been addicted to making the process and progress of moving through school work extremely difficult and mentally exhausting.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding that it has been my relationship starting point within the doing the school work that has made moving through the school work extremely difficult.

I forgive  myself for accepting and allowing myself for kicking my own mentally as like inducing myself within forms of mental masturbation as judgments and opinions. I realise and understand that I am not interested in continuing such behaviours and I realise how participating within such behaviours is a waste of my time and it is not what I am interested in doing...and there is no practical and supportive benefit to Life in doing so...as in fact this is a form of abuse that I see and realise I should in no way tolerate...because I realise and understand that it myself responsibility for preventing abuse within myself...and therefore, when and as I see myself beginning to formulate opinions and judgments about others within and while doing school work, I stop and breathe and I realise stopping and breathing is the first act of preventing the continuation of abuse. I realise and understand the more I use the preventative measure as stopping and breathing when and as an opinion/judgement comes up within me as a form of reaction...the easier it is to do this.

I commit myself to stopping and breathing within moments of reaction as judgement and opinion about others.

I commit myself to using the stop and breathe technique as preventative measure to insure I do not continue to create time loops of perpetuation of thoughts/feelings/emotions within my mind.

I commit myself to taking responsibility for the thoughts/feelings/emotions that exist within my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for existing as a self righteous scholar.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding that every point with regards to scholars that bothers me is a point of self reflection and investigation...as I realise and understand that I am able to actually improve and expand myself within taking accountability for myself and making the necessary corrections where I see and realise problems to be existing within me.

I commit myself to investigating myself as a self righteous scholar as I move through my school work and within this...I commit myself changing myself from a self righteous scholar to a scholar of integrity and dignity as a scholar who stands within and as the principle of Oneness and Equality as Being who moves beyond superiority and inferiority complexes.

I commit myself to moving beyond inferiority and superiority complexes