I am engaging myself in a 7 year journey to Nothingness. Meaning I am writing myself here...all the way through my mind, birthing my Life Potential within and as my physical body and Being Here. I re-structure myself within and as words. I am sharing my process of self-forgiveness, self-corrective statements and self-realizations as I walk my journey to life. Cheers and Enjoy.
Sunday, 29 December 2013
Day 547 Life Drama
Continuing from my previous post, "Drama as a Guilty Pleasure"
I've been reflecting upon my Life as a Drama originating in conflict. I see there are many dimensions to this.
The main problem I see is that I've abused myself and contributed to the perpetuated abuse on planet earth as a result of myself exist within conflict/drama within my mind. I realize I have perpetuated such actions by continuing within these cycles as like getting fixated within a point of drama/conflict and within doing so creating layers/depth to the conflict/drama. I see and realize the absurd ridiculousness of such behaviour. I see how I have been often trying to avoid drama by like trying to escape drama/conflict by focusing on the positive/entertainment. Like my own personal happiness. Like consuming myself within the pleasure of positive energyexperience. I see how this is like an endless exhausting search that does not result in self-satisfaction but in fact actually grows/stimulates the conflicting drama within myself that is also reflecting externally as the shared reality in which I am an integral part of.
Solution: Standing in and as the face of drama/conflict and realizing and understanding myself as the director of drama/conflict...in that I create solutions for all issues/problems/conflicts that exist within and without of myself as the self-realization that all that is here is a reflection of me and that as I direct me I am able to assist and support others to direct themselves...and together we can stand within and as self-direction in taking self-responsibility for the external problems of our shared reality that are a result of all of our internal acceptances and allowance.
I realize and understand as I continue to sort out my external reality I am able to increasingly take on a greater role in standing in a position of great responsibility in providing solutions that are best for all Life here within and as our Planet Earth.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting the totality of planet earth as a result of neglecting the totality of myself here. I realize and understand myself responsibility to planet earth as care taking for myself/home/here.
I commit myself to caring for Myself/Earth/Life/Everyone/Everything.
I realize the practicality in systematically moving through point by point within myself. I realize and understand there are many intricacies to my mind programming conditioning. I realize and understanding that ignoring any point by allowing it to fester when the opportunity exists to take direct action is not in fact a viable solution.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for perpetuating myself to exist within a guilty conscience as like not pushing myself to work as diligently as I am capable to sort out every issue that exists within myself as a point of conflict. I realize and understand the practicality of digging to the depth of the core of my being in creating solutions for issues that exist within myself. I realize and understand the point of practical living consistent constant movement as I commitment to bringing forth conflict resolutions. I realize and understand the shame in delaying conflict resolution when I in fact see a point that requires direction and I don't respond immediately within and as the self-realization of what it in fact means to live here one and equal as self-responsibility and accountability. I realize and understand that I stand here within and integral role for the future development of Earth. And that my participation reflection the future of Earth. I realize and understand that there is no time to delay self-responsibility and accountability. I realize and understanding that delaying to face any point of self-responsibility is in fact an abdication and a travesty to Life as what is best for all Life Here. I commit myself to practically live conflict resolution. I commit myself to not fester within inaction in conflict within my mind. I commit myself to readily moving within and as the expression of self-responsibility. I commit myself to practically living the dedication to assisting and supporting what is best for all Life as the manifestation of Heaven on Earth.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for self-sabotaging myself within deflecting self-responsibility for conflicting drama that exists within my mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for deriving pleasure for deliberately instigating the play out of drama for my own personal amusement.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be distracted within my mind as like allowing myself to get lost within and as like a self-disillusioned temporary escape into la la land of my mind of imagination from the perspective of placing myself in and as a realm of disassociation with equality and oneness as all Life here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having become addicted to fueling drama within my mind as a result of participating within reactions in my external environment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the shame within allowing a point of reaction within my mind to fester for even a few minutes.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for compromising what is best for all Life within abusing myself by self-righteously festering within a relatively minor reactions within myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying and excusing relatively small reactions within my mind...as like thinking that these things are not really that big a deal...like I am not causing extensive harm to anyone by forming these opinions/thoughts/feelings/emotions in relationship to others. I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of accepting and allowing myself to regard myself as like so small within justifying and excusing a point of reaction by believing it to be no big deal and just kind of like a small point of insignificance.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rant and rave about the drama's of our shared reality without really thoroughly investigating the extent of each problem and presenting tangible practical living solutions. I realize and understand the uselessness of ranting and raving about problems without in fact directing practical solutions. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for deriving pleasure within ranting and raving about fuckedness as like an energetic release as like squirting out some ecstasy from the real nasty...and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the shame within myself for existing as like the real nasty in deriving pleasure within ranting and raving as a point of and as some sort of orgasmic energetic release without bringing forth any practical direction and solution as a gifting presentation of assistance and support.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to see the simplicity in problem solving with constant and consistent continuous movement in practically living solutions which are best for Life.
I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of choosing to enable resistance to seeing the simplicity in problem solving with constant and consistent continuous movement in practical living solutions which are best for Life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the shameful consequences within delaying a practical living solution for even 1 second. I realize and understand that this is in fact unacceptable abuse and is not to be tolerated. I commit myself to perfecting myself within and as my standing as the understanding assistance and support of what it in fact means to practically live and express myself here as the solution to what is best for all Life. I commit myself to the process journey to life as what is best for all Life. I commit myself to self being here all ways as what is best for Life Here.
I commit myself to developing and expanding my specificity in problem solving by creating viable solutions that can stand the testaments of time as a reflection and living presentation of what is in fact best for Life.
I commit myself to creation as that which is best for all Life.
I commit myself to stopping abuse.
I commit myself to becoming more specific in identifying problems and solutions as a way to more specifically provide practical physical living structured support.
I commit myself to specific specialized structured support for all Life.
I commit myself to simplifying the complexity of my process journey to life by realizing and understanding how by looking at the small details and accounting of each small detail, point by point,...I am in fact able to be all accounted for. I realize and understand this to be true because I have tested and proven to myself the effectiveness and practicality in detailing the specificity within simplifying the complexity of my process journey to life by making each step to be taken not like a drastic jump that is intangible...but a consistent and constant movement as a continuous movement that enables myself to develop a flow that continue to go as the movement of myself as sound here that becomes clear in removing the fear that has prevented and limited myself from being here.
To be continued as I take the time to continue to develop my specificity in practically living as the standing embodiment of solutions as what is best for all Life Here.
I see how by going into and sharing and resolving specific dramatic events within my life I can stand as a sharing bridge of support and assistance as the continuation and building of the path/journey/walk to the truth of myself here.
I commit myself to sharing my journey to Life!
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