Day 529 Blasting the Music So Loud

So I'm in the library and I had been looking at the point of frustration and irritation where I realized and understood frustration and irritation to be a decision. Within looking at this, I realize and understand that there are many things that I have accepted and allowed within myself that have brought up reactions as frustration and irritation...as that it is necessary for me to face all the accepted and allowed points of irritation and frustration within myself in order to stop the decision to participate in frustration and irritation.

What's funny about this is that how long a point of frustration or irritation bothers me is totally my decision because when and as a point of reaction comes up within me, I can immediately take self-responsibility for the point and therefor not allow myself to be consumed within the point of reaction.

Interestingly enough, just after I saw this point of decision making with regards to frustration and irritation, this girl started blasting her music so loud through her headphones that is was loud for me to hear. I reacted initially to her behaviour as like what the fuck...were in the library this is suppose to be a quiet space. I looked at the point a little more and saw the point about how I used to blast my music so loud that others around me could here it and that I didn't really care because I was just kind of buzzing on the sounds of the music I was listening to...like allowing myself to get amerced within the music and totally disregarding my surroundings, like just kind of getting hooked on a feeling.

Initially I wanted to just create conflict with the girl. I paused for a moment here and checked myself,...like why was I getting so bothered by hearing the music. I mean how can stop accepting and allowing myself to be bothered by the music? Am I bothered by hearing the music because of what I have accepted and allowed within  myself?

Obviously the point is one of self reflection as I realize and understand that everything is always a point of self-reflection.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being inconsiderate of others around me in blasting my music so loud.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for disregarding my eardrums in blasting my music so loud.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for listening to my music so loud to get an energetic high feeling experience.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for disregarding any consequence of blasting my music so loud because I was more concerned with having the energetic experience that comes with blasting my music so loud.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for blaming another for myself experiencing frustration and irritation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how this girl in the library assisted and supported me to see a point within myself that I was holding onto within and as a form of self-judgement...because I was accepting and allowing myself for condemning myself within this self judgment by being irritated and frustrated.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that it is rude for someone to blast there music loud.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be offended by someone blasting their music real loud.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to have confrontation with the girl who is blasting her music so loud.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to have confrontation with the girl is blasting her music so loud.


So, I'm writing this blog in the library here in real time...and as I saw the point of resisting to ask the girl to turn her music down....I saw this point of resistance as what I got to move through and so I said to the girl, "excuse me, can you turn your music down it's really loud and my ears are really sensitive".....she then apologized to me and told me that she didn't even realize that her music was that loud. She was happy to oblige my request.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the point of speaking up in moments where there is a point of conflict as the solution to remedy the conflict.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having feared to remedy conflict within my world by speaking up in moments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding that communicating can be a point of awareness expansion as like in this particular instance I assumed that the girl was aware of how loud she was blasting her music...when in reality, she was not aware of how loud she was blasting her music...I also became aware that she had not been aware of this...and I became aware of the importance of speaking up and facing a point where there is potential conflict/confrontation because my speaking/sharing in and and as communication can act as a point of support for myself and others.

I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of fearing to speak up in a moment.

When and as I see myself faced with a point of reaction, I see and realize the practicality of immediately investigating the reaction within myself as I realize and understand myself as the starting point origin of the reaction manifesting and that the external point acted as the trigger/teacher....assisting and supporting me to see and realize a point of self suppression. I am grateful to immediately investigate moments of reactions as I realize and understand that their is an unlimited potential that can be gained from the process of self-investigation into the nature of our acceptances and allowances.

I commit myself to being steadfast within and as my immediate investigation into moments of reaction.

I realize and understand the self support in moving through points of resistance.

I realize and understand that moving through a moment of resistance is like changing my decision making process where I realise and understand the resistance is an accepted and allowed mistake and therefore I am in real time correcting the mistake and therefor preventing the mistake from happening again by standing up for myself and walking the living practical self correction as the remedied solution in the moment as what is best for myself as all Life.

I commit myself to making decisions that are best for all Life.

I commit myself to learning and expanding my awareness within and as communication.

I commit myself to expanding my awareness of myself through communication.

I commit myself to sharing my awareness with others as a point of self-support.