Day 533 Ranting and Raving Friendship Judgement

There's hesitance in me to write this evening. A point that surfaced early in my day today was the point of attraction...where I saw and realized there is judgement within and as the point of attraction within myself. Like, I was looking at this with regards to friendship and the particular type of people I am interested in engaging and how there is so many people that I don't even register any particular interest to really engage. It's like an immediate judgement...where I size someone up and I see if this is someone who seems to align with all my particular self-interests. Like basically someone who is exactly like me...where It could be said, ya were on the same page...like I like this page and you also like this page....we got the same attitude about things. 

It's interesting how extensive this point is. I see how I am influenced by the presentation of people...like without really even knowing much about someone...just seeing them within a classroom setting...it's like I have tailored my picks of people to talk to based upon the way in which they are presented.

I see how my interaction with people has been conditioned within the veils of self-righteousness. Where I will or will not communicate with people so often because of my self-righteous judgement and the desire to align within and as my self-righteous judgement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being extremely self-righteous and judgmental about developing friendships/relationships.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to develop relationships that are in my immediate environment out of spitefully holding out for a believed better person/people to develop relationships/friendships with.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being close minded within developing relationships.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to connect with people who are exactly like me within and as starting point attitude of shared self-interests.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing the expansion and development of relationships within my reality as a result of not realizing and understanding how spiteful and self-righteous I have accepted and allowed myself to be.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how extensively I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of my own nastiness as spite and self-righteousness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have been influencing people with my accepted and allowed spite and self-righteous attitude of judgement as accepted and allowed hierarchy of inequality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being disappointed and shamed within facing unpleasant truths about the nature of my acceptances and allowances.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for bullying myself and others within spite and self-righteousness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for holding myself within the belief perception of and as an authority within and as self-righteousness where I believe and perceive myself to know and trust in my own self-judgement and self-righteousness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being discriminatory within my communication as like being energetically inclined to want to communicate with people who have the same self-interests as me and less inclined to communicate with people who do not obviously appear to share the same self-interests as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging people based upon how cool I think they are...like even if they do share some of the same self-interests as me...like based upon how cool I think their external appearance is...

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for limiting my communication with people as a result of judging people's external appearance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating a hierarchy of cool...as like believing myself to be the authority of cool as separate from others...and judging others as to where they fit in within and as the scale of cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not being interested in letting go of self-interested judgments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for holding onto self-interested judgments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for feeling guilty within seeing and realizing how extensively I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and discriminate against other beings within my reality.

TO BE CONTINUED