Day 538 Shame Story

Today was my first day of work in the ski school, and early in the day I had the thoughts of wanting to quit my job. What's interesting about this is that I had some slight discomfort because I didn't know the routine of how everything works and it was a totally new environment for me and basically I just wanted to escape this not knowing experience and so the idea of returning to an environment where everything is familiar and known seemed appealing. I see and realize this thought process is ridiculously absurd. I see and realize how there is uncertainty within every moment. I see and realize as I walk breath by breath everything is uncertain because I don't know what will happen.

I see/realize and understand how even if I am familiar with an environment, the point of uncertainty still remains.

I see/realize and understand the importance and practicality of self-trust in every moment as support and assistance in standing within the uncertainty/unknown and directing self-expression.

I see/realize and understand how easy it is to get lost within the unknown/uncertainty of the moment/future when self-trust is abdicated in the name of fear formations as anxiety/nervousness/worry/paranoia/stress...

I see/realize and understand how easy it is to remain here within the unknown/uncertainty of the moment/future when self-trust is a practically applied and realized as a principle of creation as what is always best for Life.

I see/realize and understand how a masterpiece is not known before it is completed as the point of uncertainty exists within every moment as like anything is possible. I realize and understand how it is possible to walk a masterpiece into completion with self-trust every step of the way...as the moment to moment management and application of self-trust enables one to assess what is the best course of direction in each moment.  The only way to effectively create as what is best for all Life is to give/grant myself permission to operate/create/express myself within and as self-trust.

I see/realize and understand how a lack of self-trust is indicative of a lack of self-direction within a moment....and I realize and understand the lack of self-direction within a moment is a result of non-commitment/no-responsibility for self-here in and as the moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being ashamed to admit how moments I abdicated self-trust as a result of not taking self-responsibility for the moment as a creator here within and as the starting point of equality and oneness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for the shame within the realization and understanding that I avoided directing myself to commit to self-expression within so many moments because of the accepted and allowed fear/self-judgement/anxiety/paranoia/worry/doubt/abdication and avoidance of self-responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being ashamed to see and realize how limited myself expression has been as a result of accepting and allowing myself to be influenced by thoughts/feelings/emotions that have just come up within myself as reactions without my direction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for avoiding to take self-responsibility within seeing and realizing the shame that exists within abdicating self-expression for reactionary self-suppression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding myself responsibility as a creator.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for avoiding to see the shame that exists within choosing to accept and allow suppression of self-expression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having justified the suppression of myself-expression here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how shameful it is to fear the commitment to walking within self-trust within the uncertainty of every moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring safety/comfort within what is already known.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to live within the unknown certainty of breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for seeking asylum from physicality within my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for abusing physicality in defense of my mentality/frame of mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing conflict/friction to exist between my mentality and my physicality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to validate conflict/abuse upon my physicality within trusting in my thoughts/feelings/emotions to direct me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing I need to be directed by my thoughts/feelings/emotions,...that trusting myself to move myself from moment to moment would be too difficult.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how ashamed I am to have accepted and allowed myself for making the choice to be guided/influenced/controlled by thoughts/feelings/emotions

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as less than my thoughts/feelings/emotions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding my equality and oneness with my thoughts/feelings/emotions and what this in fact implies within and as self-responsibility and accountability for and as every thought/feeling/emotion within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wallow within moments of energetic possession as thought/feeling/emotion.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the shame within avoiding to practically live self-forgiveness from moment to moment of my day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resisted to really committing myself to mastering the in the moment application of self-forgiveness and self-corrective application.

I commit myself to practically living self-forgiveness in the moment.

I commit myself to practically living self-corrective applications.

I commit myself to self-trust.

I commit myself to self-honesty.

I commit myself to self-forgiveness.

I commit myself to self-integrity.

I commit myself to self-discipline.

I commit myself to self-confidence.

I commit myself to creation.

I commit myself to Life.

I commit myself to self-perfection.

I commit myself to directing self-expression.

I commit myself to taking self-responsibility and accountability for self-expression.

I commit myself to self-expression.

I commit myself to practical living.