Continuing with the Making a Decision Story experience blog
from the previous day. Will resume the Food Religion blog soon.
Before I began to write here I decided I should re-read the
previous blog to make sure I am continuing without missing anything...the point
that jumped out at me was the following: justification. I noticed justification
specifically towards the end of the blog after I had mentioned that I made the
decision to stop skiing for the day. I made a bit of a justification by stating
a particular reasoned justification to support my decision for having decided
to stop skiing and not continue with the group who planned to ski all day. The
point I use as justification is that I will be teaching skiing this winter.
Upon re-reading the previous blog and seeing the point of
justifying my decision to stop skiing for the day....I was like "what the
fuck?" "so if I didn't have future plans it would have been ok for me
to ski all day despite the fact that i was physically fatigued with extremely
sore feet?"
I see how ridiculous it is for me to throw justifications on
top of decisions to like make myself feel better for not continuing to participate
within a particular action. It's really in vain because the starting point is
kind of whack....because it represent me making a decision and looking/wanting
re-assurance in the decision I am making, so then I project what I want to hear
as like a way to strengthen the case for the specific decision I made.
This morning I planned to go skiing again today. Many of my muscles felt physically strained.
I wanted to go. I didn't want to have physically strained muscles. I didn't
want to say No to my buddies that I wouldn't be going skiing today. I didn't
want to let them do. I thought I am here to ski and If I dont ski than I am
wasting my money.
I saw the point of being controlled by money in making a
decision to ski today because I already had a lift ticket purchased.
I saw how that physically I really did not want to ski
today. I saw how mentally I was kind of wanting to ski. I see how I was
allowing myself to consider going out of fear of losing the money that a single
lift ticket costs. I see how I considered compromising physical comfort and
rest in order to prevent the fear of missing out on an
opportunity/savings/money. I see how I accepted and allowed myself to be
influenced by the fear of missing out on an opportunity/savings/money.
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