Day 533 Ranting and Raving Friendship Judgement

There's hesitance in me to write this evening. A point that surfaced early in my day today was the point of attraction...where I saw and realized there is judgement within and as the point of attraction within myself. Like, I was looking at this with regards to friendship and the particular type of people I am interested in engaging and how there is so many people that I don't even register any particular interest to really engage. It's like an immediate judgement...where I size someone up and I see if this is someone who seems to align with all my particular self-interests. Like basically someone who is exactly like me...where It could be said, ya were on the same page...like I like this page and you also like this page....we got the same attitude about things. 

It's interesting how extensive this point is. I see how I am influenced by the presentation of people...like without really even knowing much about someone...just seeing them within a classroom setting...it's like I have tailored my picks of people to talk to based upon the way in which they are presented.

I see how my interaction with people has been conditioned within the veils of self-righteousness. Where I will or will not communicate with people so often because of my self-righteous judgement and the desire to align within and as my self-righteous judgement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being extremely self-righteous and judgmental about developing friendships/relationships.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to develop relationships that are in my immediate environment out of spitefully holding out for a believed better person/people to develop relationships/friendships with.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being close minded within developing relationships.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to connect with people who are exactly like me within and as starting point attitude of shared self-interests.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing the expansion and development of relationships within my reality as a result of not realizing and understanding how spiteful and self-righteous I have accepted and allowed myself to be.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how extensively I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of my own nastiness as spite and self-righteousness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have been influencing people with my accepted and allowed spite and self-righteous attitude of judgement as accepted and allowed hierarchy of inequality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being disappointed and shamed within facing unpleasant truths about the nature of my acceptances and allowances.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for bullying myself and others within spite and self-righteousness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for holding myself within the belief perception of and as an authority within and as self-righteousness where I believe and perceive myself to know and trust in my own self-judgement and self-righteousness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being discriminatory within my communication as like being energetically inclined to want to communicate with people who have the same self-interests as me and less inclined to communicate with people who do not obviously appear to share the same self-interests as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging people based upon how cool I think they are...like even if they do share some of the same self-interests as me...like based upon how cool I think their external appearance is...

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for limiting my communication with people as a result of judging people's external appearance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating a hierarchy of cool...as like believing myself to be the authority of cool as separate from others...and judging others as to where they fit in within and as the scale of cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not being interested in letting go of self-interested judgments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for holding onto self-interested judgments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for feeling guilty within seeing and realizing how extensively I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and discriminate against other beings within my reality.

TO BE CONTINUED

Day 500 Self-Righteous Authority

It's been so easy for me to talk a little bit of shit about another person. Like you know, just a little bit, whether it be to them directly or indirectly through a form of self talk or gossip with another.

This type of behaviour in any capacity in simply unacceptable.

I see how I have in many instances felt the need to say something from within the believed justification/reasoning as that I am "just being honest".  Just being honest ? What the fuck ?
Just being honest from the perspective of exposing myself within and as the self-righteous Authority character persona.

I've noticed how subtle I would be in talking shit in some particular moments.  Like there being so much disdain within myself, it's like I felt compelled to just sprinkle a little bit of diaper mouth here, a little bit of diaper mouth there, having no regard for the fact that I don't even like hearing and seeing diaper mouth behaviour.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing myself to be "just being honest" within talking shit about another being.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent of self-righteous authority persona.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for letting self-righteous authority slide within my thoughts, as like just seeing and dismissing the separation forged and formed towards others within accepting and allowing myself to avoid/abdicate self responsibility in removing the accepted and allowed separation that exists within my mind consciousness system as a form of cognitive dissonance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for for desiring to tell people things from the point of separation as like having an energetic movement within myself and wanting to jump into and as the character that is represented by the particular energy charge that the reaction represents.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the degrees of self-righteous authority within acting out any particular reaction....as like acting out any particular reaction is a point of self-righteous authority...as like being possessed within and as my accepted and allowed mind fuck.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for allowing myself to become dependent upon acting out various characters from within the realm starting point of self-righteous authority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing self-righteous authority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding how I have always been that which I fear most and that is the really irony within and as the process of self-forgiveness, self-realization and self-correction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having desired to tell people how fucked they are.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that in telling someone how fucked they are, they will respond to me with immediate feedback of a transcendental self-realisation and an in the moment practical real time living change of character from that which is totally fucked to that which is the epitome of greatness as that which is best for all Life as an actual living character standing as an exampled expression of and what is best for all Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wishing others to be that which I would like to see within myself....and within that I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for focusing upon others before myself.  I realize and understand that I can ever only see others as I see myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself dismissing the point of self-first within process of self-forgiveness and self- realisation and self correction....because of wanting to play some sorta savior Christ like character persona of feeling high and mighty within myself and reigning down upon another with and as my accepted and allowed self-righteous authority because I got a particular itch unexpectedly in a moment as a reaction that just came up within me that I am interpreting and perceiving to be a a form of attack the I will call blame as like me deflecting the apparent responsibility onto another.,,and there for believing that I must give them the ownership of fault and failure as like designating them as a fuck up.  I realise and understand that this type of behaviour is totally ridiculously absurd as it totally fucked up and that acting this out whether verbally aloud to another....or just within the mind as like a thought wheel....train of though kind of thing....is unacceptable.

When and as I see myself having a thought about how I see another person as this or that, I stop and breathe, I direct myself to forgive myself for that which I see about the particular person as a way to show myself that I can release the reigns of self-righteous authority.

I commit myself to stopping self-righteous authority.

I commit myself to realising and understanding that even the littlest subtle little bit of self-righteous authority is unacceptable.

When and as I see myself feeling the need to say something as like an energetic movement within myself as like an instability as having formed a momentary reaction to something in my environment, I stop and breathe, I direct myself in forgiving myself for the momentary reaction that created an energetic movement of instability within myself. I piece myself back together by utilizing this momentary energetic reaction within myself as a key to see a point of accepted and allowed separation within myself...so I use this point to release my accepted and allowed delusion, I look within myself to see the earliest memory connection to this point, and I forgive myself for creating the particular energetic charged relationship within myself, I commit myself to stopping and this pattern within myself. I see and realise the ridiculous absurdity of the point.  I realise and understand the practicality of self-correcting myself in the moment a point comes up.

 When and as I see myself desiring to act out a particular character as a result of experiencing a momentary reaction within myself, I stop and breathe, I face the point of reaction, I identify the energy, I see the connection to earliest memories, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to go into energy possession play out, I correct/remedy the situation in real time.

I commit myself to stop being a diaper mouth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being a diaper mouth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding my own shit.


I commit myself to providing practical living support and assistance to facilitate the stopping and prevention of self righteous authority character persona participation's.

 I commit myself to reflecting point of understanding back to myself as way to showcase myself as the point example and so that when I am communicating with another I am not making an example out of them by pointing the finger at them and saying your so this...I see and realize that within taking this approach I give individuals the opportunity to realize their own fuckedness and avoid the misfortune of cycling through an offense/defense reaction of me telling them what they are as opposed to enabling another to realize and understand what they are in fact accepting and allowing through placing myself as the living story/example/self-realisation.....I see and realize within this approach that it's like I am walking with a person through the point...like walking them to the door of understanding and realization and enabling them the opportunity to move through the door on their own as a point of self-responsibility and self direction as an individual labored process of self-accountability, self-integrity and self-dignity in facing self-reflection.