Day 726 - Moment Management

I've noticed the Moment to often be a very Pivotal point.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be influenced and controlled by fear within the moment as a particular feeling/emotion that contradicts my Planning

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being consistently inconsistent with my commitments as a result of accepting and allowing momentary Fear as various dimensions of reaction to influence and regulate my movement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to embrace all of my fears and actually move myself regardless of and as the excuse that is presented as coming up in the moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making a big deal about moving through an accepted and allowed suppression I see within a moment. I realize that this is in fact no big deal here....and that the only way this would become a big deal is if I avoided taking self-responsibility for the point I see I have been suppressing.  Within this new realization...the moment is a very cool pivot point in and as the process of self-perfection, because the opportunity exists to become a better version of oneself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how Life works as a series of Moments put together....but that all there every is is the present moment here....which leads into new present moments here....and All the While from Present Moment to Present Moment, I am the Leader as My Life is My Self-Responsibility and The Creation of My Life is a Result of and as the Effectiveness of My Leadership Here. I realize and understand Leadership starts within and as Self-Responsibility here.  I realize I have Great Responsibilities and that Self-Responsibility is the Key within and as Self-Empowerment/Self-Creation Here as Heaven on Earth

I commit myself to Self-Creation Here as Heaven on Earth.

I commit myself to Self-Responsibility

I commit myself to Living the Self-Empowerment within and as Self-Responsibility

When and as I see myself faced with a moment where I experience a feeling of like "not wanting to participate within my self-responsibility", I stop and breathe, I see/realize/understand the self-sabotage within thinking oneself out of doing what is required to be done as the practical living of self-responsibility. I Move myself in Doing the point that I face resistance towards Doing. I realize the movement of my doing is the Key to Practical Living Creation here as the How To put the Plans in Motion. I see realize and understand the Planning and Planting that Happens within and as the Movement of Doing. I see, realize and understand the Commitment within and as The Decision to Do it....as the Moving Beyond thinking about doing It...and Just Doing It.  I realize the More I do it...the more I get Done.  I realize my potential existent here is within and as self-creation and that my self-creation comes from the act of doing things...as the building and development of Greatness within and as Always All Ways...as Always Great.

I commit myself to and as Greatness Here.

Day 677 - Effort-full

"I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resistance to learning with effortless ease" Day 676 - Life...Learning...Teach Ability...Opportunity and Fortune

This statement jumps out at me as I re-read through my previous blog entry. I ponder on the point a moment and I look at the process of development a child learns to walk within the actual skill of walking...and specifically the process of going from learning to crawl...to crawling...to standing...to falling and standing up...and actually waddling a step or two...to eventual walking effectiveness.

Within looking and regarding this process...It is quite the process and it is in fact effort-full There is a self-willing commitment to actually explore and push the development of potential which is the result of constant and consistent experimental application...practice and repetition...and a fine tuning.

So, within re-reading my initial statement I share above here with regards to an effortless within learning...I see here how I have placed an expectation about my idea of how I have believed the learning process should be. This is not necessarily the case within learning new skills. In fact some things will require much more effort than other things. And, to only learn that which comes effortlessly...would be in fact a squandering of one's actual learning potential here...because perhaps it is the commitment in learning the things that are the most challenging for ourselves that are in fact the most rewarding. I say this, because....look at the self-discipline and the self-commitment....and the self-perseverance...and the self-dedication....and the self-patience....and really.....this exemplifies the tenets of what is in fact self-mastery.

Learning something completely that is an effort-full process is rich in educational nourishment....because the the process's involved within learning anything from beginner level to a masterful level is to be rooted in the fundamental principles which substantiate an overall character development of an elite level standing. Meaning, there is no real short-cuts on the journey process of Life Mastery.

I am reminded of an example where this Ninja warrior is being asked by an aspiring Ninja how many different punches he knows how to do...and before the Ninja Warrior can even real respond....the aspiring Ninja begins spouting off all the different types of punches that he knows. The Ninja Warrior explains that he is not threatened by the the Ninja who knows 10,000 different punches he has practiced very little....But is in fact greatly concerned about facing the Ninja Warrior who has practiced a single punch 10,000 times.

The point of my sharing of this story here...is on the commitment and discipline required in and as self-perfection. Which to me exemplifies the natural learning expression of Life. Where one is able to meticulously study oneself in one's movement relationships here.

SO,

This is a point that has come to my attention within my Life....where I have had a tendency throughout my Life to learn things for a little while....when and as the learning came easily without much effort or work on my part. Then what has happened in many instances...is where I shift my focus to learning something else...where I lose interest in continuing what I initially set out to do. This tendency of mine I have notices as a result of myself always looking for the path of least resistance...and actually having conditioned myself to avoid seemingly effort-full commitments to actually expanding my comprehension within a particular subject beyond my current ability level.

This is something I am committing myself to changing. Changing specifically the reluctance within myself to continue on a point of self-mastery within particular areas I have actually really wanted to excel within.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating ideas and beliefs about how I should feel within learning something new...and the process of self-perfection.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for tainting the process of self-perfection by having pre-conceived...make believe ideas about how the aftermath of self-perfection within a particular point is in fact.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying my impatience within the difficulty of learning particular tasks...skills.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating judgement/friction/conflict within myself in relationship to the amount of time it takes for me to learn and effectively comprehend a particular point.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for burdening myself within the guilt and shame which I experience within reflecting upon all my failed attempts to actually comprehend a particular point and physically administer perfect execution of said point.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for giving credence to giving up on myself when and as I am faced with difficulty.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding that the real testaments of individual will is in fact the commitment and devotion to oneself when faced with difficulty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for shying away from difficulty within my participations here in this world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing difficulty.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the irony of myself inflicted difficulties I have done unto myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having created an apprehensiveness towards difficult tasks.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having avoided to really examine the extensiveness of my very own apprehensiveness as like a self-ingrained defense mechanism to avoid actually seeing the painful truth of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for choosing to minimize my creative influence within our shared World System...because of the fact that I see this requires great effort on my part.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting my creative potential when and as great effort is required in developing creative contributions here that are in the best interests of myself and all Life here. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting my creative potential because it takes effort.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having a negative polarity connotation towards the word "effort"
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having cringing thoughts/emotions about "effort" as like an ugh exhausting type experience.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a resistance towards effort that can be torturous at times.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for torturing myself as a result of having an ineffective relationship with and as the word "effort".

Effort: Strenuous physical or mental exertion.
            A vigorous or determined attempt.
            The result of an attempt.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for defining strenuous physical or mental exertion as something that I want to avoid most of the time and only participate within it if I feel/believe it to be absolutely necessary.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have conditioned my effort to exist in relationship to my particular emotion and or feeling about exerting effort in the particular moment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being unreliable within my participations as a result of accepting and allowing myself to be conditioned by my thoughts, feelings and or emotions that pop up suddenly within a moment with specific regards to a point I am looking at.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for self-sabotaging my ability to participate in learning things effectively and efficiently.

The word 'Effort" is rooted in the Latin words, " Ex + Fortis....which means ...Out + Strong"....which lead to the old french word "esforcier"....which leads us to the word "effort" we have today.

In looking at the "Out + Strong" of the Latin roots of Effort....I see that effort is a result of breathing out an exertion of self-expression....a living of life force essence....a particular strength in character being exhibited within a particular focus as a result of and as the living of an outer strength. I see and understand this outward expression of effort being the result of an inward commitment of oneself to share the expression of oneself outward and onward. And therefore I see effort as a tool in self-development....a tool that assists and support our process development here.

I commit myself to living Effort as an Outward strength of Character.

I see realize and understand that to live Effort as an outward strength of character is to live an inward strength of character. As within and so without.

Day 599 Certainty

So,

Sometimes I have found myself speaking from a point of uncertainty within myself. Like I am speaking to others from a starting point of treading lightly, like being overtly careful, due to having a fear of judgment inrelationship/association to the people I am speaking to. This can also be regarded as desiring a favorable response, wanting to be liked, wanting things to go your way, fearing conflict/disagreement/confrontation, lack of certainty within and as self-trust to speak from the heart as what is best for all. It's like a point of being in the middle of processing how to move about...a hesitance if you will...speaking without an all the way commitment to the speaking as a point of self-expression...kind of reactionary in nature due to being invested within the desire for positive reactions and being dreadful of negative reactions.

So,

Obviously this uncertainty within communication is absurdly ridiculous and is a complete hindrance on my ability to self-express myself free from fear.


So, 

Even just the tiniest little bit of judgement/fear/desire/doubt within our communication fucks with our ability to be certain about our self-direction within and as our self-expression from moment to moment.


So, 

I am looking at and investigating the word "Certainty".


So,


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting to realize and understand the practicality within aligning myself one and equal with "Certainty".

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting Certainty within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for trying to establish Certainty within myself without understanding and realizing the dimensional dynamics of uncertainty I have created within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the practicality of structuring my writing process around and within the process of specific word assistance and support, so that I am capable and able to take the specific words and immediately implant them into my daily living as seeds of assistance and support that will enhance and expand my ability to self-express myself here as what is best for all Life.


To be Continued

Day 568 Self-Corrective Investigation

When and as I see the shame that exists within me, I stop and breathe, I direct myself to correct the shameful behaviour as a method of prevention so that I do not accept and allow myself to fall back into a behaviour pattern of shameful acceptances and allowances. I realize and understand that as I effectively face the shame within a point, this seeing the shame is enough for me to want to make sure that I effectively change/correct the point so that I do not disregard what is best for all Life. I commit myself to utilizing the shame within a point to assist and support myself to effectively walk the self-correction/self-commitment.

When and as I see myself taking offense to what I see, I stop and breathe, I face the point within myself. I self-self-reflect. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for separating myself from the point I took offense towards. I realize and understand myself responsibility to investigate all dimensions of my physical being as what I have accepted and allowed. I commit myself to investigating all dimensions of my physicality here.

When and as I see myself harboring a point of blame within myself, I stop and breathe, I investigate the point of blame as the means necessary for self-reflection/self-introspection. I commit myself to let go of every point of blame that exists within myself. I commit myself to prevent a point of blame I see within myself from re-occurring. I commit myself to utilizing my understanding of the absurd ridiculousness of blame as a prevention method to insure that I do not indulge myself within and as point of blame. I commit myself to stop justifying and validating any and all blame.

When and as I see myself getting angry/irritated/frustrated with my acceptance and allowance, I stop and breathe, I realize the shame that exists here and how also this is connected to a point of blame. I see and realize how lame this behaviour is. I direct myself in the moment to walk the self-corrective process so that I immediately stop and prevent any future perpetuation of what is less than what is best for all Life. I commit myself to what is best for all Life.

When and as I see myself creating excuses and limitations upon my physical performance within particular tasks before I even get started within the tasks, I stop and breathe, I realize the absurd ridiculousness of creating a self-imposed wall of limitation for myself. I remove the mental barriers from my mind. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating mental barriers/wall of self-imposed limitation. I push myself to movebeyond the wall and dive into my potential that had been initially suppressed. I commit myself to going into and activating my potential. I commit myself to removing self-imposed mental barriers.

When and as I see myself trying to work something out, I stop and breathe, I look at where there is resistance within myself to the particular point, I face the resistance as the decision for the point to exist within resistance, I forgive the resistance, I change my relationship decision to the point in questioning. I make the commitment to work the point out. I realize and understand I am able and capable to work things out. I commit myself to utilizing all resources available to me in being effective and efficient in working things out. I commit myself to be self-responsible within using my resources here in creating solutions/working things out. I commit myself to working points out in ways that are in alignment as what is best for Life.

When and as I see myself placing feelings/emotions on a point as like looking and judging my particular feelings/emotions about the point as to whether or not I will participate, I stop and breathe, I investigate the nature of my relationship to the point in question. I look to see whether I am creating a distraction for myself as a positive energy feeling or if I am trying to avoid a point of self-support with negative energetic resistance towards participation within the particular point. Based upon the particular energetic nature of the relationship, I push through the resistance and actively participate within the point or stop participation within the point. I use the starting point principle of Equality and Oneness as what is best for all Life so that I am practically able to live prevention as the best cure and within this frame work insure that I care/assist/support Life.

I commit myself to the caring assistance and support that is best for all Life.

I commit myself to making decisions from the starting point of care/assistance/support as what is best for All Life.

I commit myself to stand within the decision of what is best for All Life Here.

Day 525 Story of Making A Decision

I was skiing today for the first time this winter. I was skiing with a bunch of people who wanted to ski all day. I said I was tired...my feet hurt from the new ski boots I bought...initially I was thinking I can't just stop I got to keep moving with what the group wants to do. And after I acknowledged about half way through the day that I had enough skiing and was physically tired and was going to ski back to the chalet which was quite a long way away. A couple other dudes within the big group said they planned to do just 2 more runs and that they would be able to give me a ride back to my buddy's place where I was staying...the buddy I refer to is one of the people in the group who wished to ski all day.

So I said ok in thinking that I could compromise and do 2 runs instead of 1. Interesting that point of making a compromise...like why ever compromise physical well being?

So as I started traversing across the top of this big mountain, I told the 2 dudes who planned to do 2 runs that I was just going to do this one last run and that I would wait for them at the bottom if they want to do 2 runs. It's interesting because they decided that they were fine with doing this one last run.

I see how in some instances there are things that I would like to do within a group participation as like what other members of the group are doing. Like in this particular instance, skiing all day. Within looking at the point, it wasn't practical for me to force myself to participate in that particular manner...that in fact, forcing myself to ski all day so that I am following along with the group could have been quite consequential to my health/physical well being.

What's interesting and I see as cool from this ski story experience of making a decision to support myself regardless of what others peoples decisions are.....was the fact that I wouldn't have been able to do another run effectively...like it was a struggle for me to perform my skills effectively on that last run even....like I had pushed myself so hard physically already...that my muscles were fatigued...and thus  it was making my descent much more challenging than if I were not fatigued.

At the moment I am committed to teach skiing all winter...and well....putting myself in a situation where I have specific physical tasks to perform and my physical stability is compromised is dangerous and reckless......

I see here how I probably should have called it quits a run earlier. I see how I conformed to the group mentality of not wanting to deviate from the group mentality of wanting and desiring to move along with what the group wants to do. 

I see how I resisted making a decision to make a decision that is best for myself within desiring to follow along within the majority group.

I see how  it is crucial that I make decisions from the starting point that is what is best for me and that I do not accept and allow myself to compromise what is best for me within wanting to conform to peer pressure as like not wanting to move away from the group.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing the judgement of others saying something about me making a decision to move out of a particular participation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not wanting to stop participating within activities that others wish to continue participating in, out of fear of being regarded as weak and less skillful within the activity .

Day 516 That ain't Cool

"The point came up today where I was saying that the world isn't very cool. Like there needs to be more coolness. I was saying how politicians and celebrities aren't cool at all, the education system isn't cool, war isn't cool, poverty/abuse/suffering isn't cool, pop culture isn't cool, societal norms aren't cool, commercials aren't cool....I went on to say I got to take self-responsibility for cool....because seriously things are not cool...like there's so much stuff that isn't cool. I was talking to family members about this point...and I kind of jokingly said I'm going to appoint myself the ambassador of cool...and then I started getting reactions from people saying that I got to be appointed by other people in order to be the ambassador...that I can't just declare myself it....that there is not validity to my claim if others are not validating my claim. I said, I  take self-responsibility as the presentation and embodiment of cool. I see it as a point of individual self-responsibility and self-trust. A self-agreement as commitment to the expression of what is best for all Life."

"The point of discussion veered towards seriousness as like seriousness being separated from cool...like the opposite of seriously cool...like seriousness became a point of uncool....where if you want to be taken seriously, you can't be cool...." (Day 507 Branding and Marketing)

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding that myself as a reflection of the world isn't very cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that I must submit myself to my shared environment as uncool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for blaming myself and others for not being cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting frustrated with the lack of cool within myself/humanity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring a cool world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that if I don't desire a cool shared reality that a cool shared reality cannot become an actuality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting to believe that I'm all cool and that it's just all this separated shit here that is not cool, like that there's just a major majority of people that are uncool and thus I am suppressed as a result of being a part of a small minority of cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that uncool can trump cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to see all the bullshit that exists within myself that is not cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for liking to take on the cool character as like ya I'm all cool, I ain't responsible for everything that is uncool, that ain't my fault that's all the other uncool people's fault.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making myself within my mind to be Mr. Almighty Cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for for desiring to tell people how uncool they are and how much cool I am.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that cool doesn't influence the uncool but uncool influences the cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for self-victimizing myself within this world as like accepting and allowing myself to be suppressed and hindered and just like totally indoctrinated with uncool propaganda and education that supports all that is not cool here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring the uncool to tell me I am cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring cool status within an uncool harsh reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for concerning myself with matters that are not cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for existing in reverse of what is cool in an attempt to be cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring somebody else to come along that is just so cool and rally up awareness around what is cool here...like sprinkling the cool pixie dust onto everyone with their words as like creating some sorta abra kadabra presto open sesame they we have it cool manifested as factual physical reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being addicted to taking offense to that which is not cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to taking the first step to directing that which is not cool by accepting myself here as that which is not cool.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for holding onto me as an individual ego persona of superiority that would totally die and cease to exist if I stepped down of my self appointed thrown of righteous coolness and actual took self-responsibility for everything that is not cool within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to hold onto this heir of self-entitlement elitist status that connects and relates to the idea of myself as cooler than others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making reality out to be like the cool competition where there is only one almighty champion and then it's just derivative, just classes of loser and losing as like the closest finisher to me the champion is just the first one to be proclaimed the loser as I am the winner.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that it is wrong to appoint oneself as cool here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking like how dare I think that I can just say I am the example of cool and that if you don't agree with me well that's just because you don't get it yet and your really not that cool, because if you get what I was saying you would be like ya your right it's fucking obvious were all the embodiment of cool here...and it's up to each of us to reclaim our status as cool which can only be done through the process of self-forgiveness and self-corrective applications...because that is the epitome of self-responsibility here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for expecting there to be some sort of programming manual for me to copy so that I can not worry and fear that I am fucking shit up right and then I don't really have to make any in the moment real time decisions, I just can believe myself to be great within and as the religion of self worship based upon subscribing to a particular culture of idea's that suits the personality suits I would like wear as my image as the way I imagine myself to be within my mind of self-righteous authoritarian rule.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having difficulty to live for real as like having no idea of what it really means to live here for real for eternity as like never wavering within doubt with flashes of energetic fluctuation as particular mental frameworks shape a freeze frame of myself going hard crystallized within myself as I submit within a mind-pattern of accepted and allowed auto-destruct.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for following the mind consciousness program of automation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to close the option and consideration of going into mind conscious auto pilot as like being in the back seat just watching the show that I'm reacting to, never realizing myself as the real time physical director of the whole game play.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing myself within the driver's seat of awareness as like it's all me here, that I am always working with me here as what I accept and allow as me here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for choosing to ignore the manual of acceptances and allowances I used as the particular memory impressions I formed to particular moments as like the energy juice I mined my physicality with as like my mind being the robotic miner that goes 24/7 always digging for more of myself to abuse as like constantly scratching an itch...and all the while me sitting in the backseat watching the show, believing things are taken care of for me that I'm on holidays and ya life's quite the trip while not realizing and understanding that why I've been calling Life a trip because I fell for the lie I sold myself as the reasoned justification that I spawned within having automated energetic experiences within every particular moment since as long as I can remember.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding how uncool it is to refer to life as a trip as like this temporary ride where I am just a temporary problem so to speak in that eventually I will just auto-destruct because I wasn't built to last the testaments of time...more like due to lacking the integrity and focus in labored craftsmanship...subscribing to the fuck it philosophy and therefore buying stock within planned obsolescence, figuring and solidifying my time here as temporary so thinking that's just the design of how things are and I aint no designer, im just a product of some greater design that I gladly say and welcome with self-submission by praying and saying "at your service oh benevolent one, my inherent nature is a desire to serve...so just tell me what to do and then it is done...but give me the free will to choose how I serve because then I am blissfully ignorant within my own free will believing that I have free range to do anything, while not realising and understanding how I've just contributed to the perpetuation of  a giant super duper fuck up.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to work with my fellow fuckers here who have equally contributed to the fuckedness equation, because within coming to a starting point of oneness and equality within and as each of our opportunity here I can't point the blame fuck you middle finger any more and my life that I sold for a temporary trip here as the guaranteed experience of a Life time becomes null and void and I missed out on the deal of a life time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for searching for and longing for cool as like the programmed code and guide how to be cool...while not realizing and understanding myself as the key maker here as realizing and understanding myself as the key to me...like I am the key to the kingdom of heaven...I am the door...I am the way...it's all within me here...and I am the only one who can grant me access...and whats funny and cool about this is that I cannot bullshit myself a granted access pass, meaning my sound as my word as my signature as the music that cannot be faked, I gotta be pure as the proven cure so that I can be sure I won't contaminate all that is pure ever again...and so I see as the intimacy is in to me...hehe, laugh as I face my accepted and allowed absurd ridiculousness as I have the aha moment of self-realizing and understanding this is source of my contamination that needs immediate remediation/reclamation as I unfuck the improper fucking I fucked myself with, as the very nature and core of my being had been penetrated without taking the necessary steps and precautions for the best fucking...and so there as the consequence of fucking as less than the best fucking, I see and realize how I raped myself.

To Be Continued