Day 775 - In Fear You're It

 




Inferiority - In fear you are it. You are it in fear. Inferior I tied to the why of the fear I fear. Inferior it is why. A less than experience and acceptance and allowance.  Often masked and projected externally as superiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize how I have existed as the Inferiority character construction within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not even believe it possible that I could exist within and as the point of Inferiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my very own inferiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide and deny acknowledging points/moments/reactions within and as Inferiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to regard inferiority as such a bad thing, like one of the worst things a person could be.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that inferiority is a choice and a decision so much so and that if you are ever faced within and as the point of inferiority, you should hide it by presenting a false front, lie and deny it, as a way to not accept it within yourself.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realizes how I created coping defense mechanisms within my mind as ways to 'survive' within and as the moments of inferiority. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing how recognition of moments of inferiority is a great point of strength in seeing how and where you are not measuring up to par within and as a point/application/ability.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having made inferiority a perpetuated weakness within myself, by being afraid to admit points of inadequacy within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to regard inferiority as wrong.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to understand and really know inferiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating a preference towards hiding from my inferiority within and as the outward projection of superiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compound the existence of inferiority within myself as a result of believing myself to be high, mighty and powerful within the character reaction of superiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create abuse within myself internally and externally as a result of fearing to face myself within the full spectrum of polarized characterizations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing how I constructed a primary character throughout my life as Inferiority who reacts in fear and projects superiority as a coverup job and operation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live a lie as my very own self-deception and self-manipulation as the reactionary inferiority character that created and energetic addiction towards channeling a high and might experience within myself as my energetic release for the built of layers of shit that I would compound within myself as my mind activity here in defense and conflict with myself and world as everyone here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing the extent and scope to which I created clever coping mechanisms to induce a positive energy high experience and escape for myself as a result of fearing to get real with myself and acknowledge/face/know/understand my weakness as Inferiority and Inadequacy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to associate vulnerability and sensitivity to being undesirable forms of weakness connected to inferiority and that it is my choice to disregard and deny the reality of these words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to construct myself in and as inferiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing my potential as a result of fearing to get real.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be on the run from myself...as like constantly being on the move within fear as my accepted and allowed mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating all sort of beautiful words and ideas and concepts as various ways of my word patterned communications to perpetuate a false front....a false flag operation..a lie, a veil, a misrepresentation of the actuality of what I am accepting and allowing within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have thought that is what you are suppose to do with points of inferiority and any other sort of weakness that comes up within one's mind and body experience here...as to make something up that you like better.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realizing and understanding how to substantiate my vocabulary effectively as a structurally sound foundation within myself, as the words existing within me here in and as equality and oneness, from the perspective that words are innocent and do not require me to make up charges held against the words as them being polarized within the scope of positive, neutral and negative energies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to support a world of impotence, as a sort of powerlessness that is governed and controlled, ruled through and as my accepted and allowed fear...a sort of self-inflicted spitefulness as the lack of understanding of what Inferiority in fact means.

I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding the sense of irony existed within and as word and world relationships here, within and as our oneness and equality, as that is the one point always here...our oneness and equality...and the irony of course is within and as our self-definition as how we imprison our very cells here at a resonant level as the scope of the entirety of ourselves as all of existence within and as our sound.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that my potential to exist here as sound, has been suppressed, that I have been existing here within and as a sort of noise, a derivative of sound, a less than experience...the epitome of inferiority...rooted in and as self-abuse, being in conflict with myself and not even realizing how I am in fact perpetuating and prolonging a war within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize the propaganda I would create in and as various forms of reaction/fear of myself being here within and as a point of reaction....where I would then create a disinformation agenda to quickly move into another character to hide the scope of the truth of myself, which has been the very initial reaction/fear within myself, as fear it self.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear fear itself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a battle/conflict of epic proportions with Fear...believing Fear to be the ultimate enemy and point of separation that I must fight against as the very quick moving reactionary defense systems within my mind.  I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding how extensively I have been on the attack and the defense at the same time...the complete reflection of and as the military war machine here in all ways, penetrating the totality of my existence here.


When and as I see myself reacting in Inferiority/inadequacy, I stop and breathe, I take a moment to correctly identify the specifics of my reactionary defense/weakness.  I realize this is a weakness that requires specific self-correction because it is being revealed to me in my mind as a form of military defense and offense upon myself and all of existence here.  I realize it is my self-responsibility to come to terms within myself as a removing myself from the field of battle, where I release myself from participation within and as the enemy construct here. I see, realize and understand the solution of myself here at peace with all of existence as a point of agreement within and as my word relationships here, where I in fact am at ease with my word and world relationships here, where I mean no offense or defense.  I commit myself to the process of settling the terms of negotiation within myself as the vocabulary that exists within myself as a form of energetic dissonance.  I realize and understand the process of self-transformation as the self-direction of my existence within and as energetic information, to that of physical sound substance here as the physical universe here.  I realize, understand, and know the process of status correction here to be a labored physical process of nurturing myself back together again, from disharmony and disease to harmony here as the sound of music at ease.  I realize the substance of self-expression here is in fact our sound.  I commit myself to birthing myself as sound/life here.

Day 763 - What Moves You?

 


Have you ever noticed a pull or a push inside yourself towards or away from something....like a motivation or a lack of motivation to move/participate within something? Like for instance; to get up off the couch and clean the dishes....or getting out of bed and getting going.....or joining in for an activity you've been invited to participate within.

Have you ever noticed that you can actually take a moment and look at the pull/push that exists within you towards or away from participation within a particular point.....This Looking is a Real time Living in the Moment Look....And, within this seeing Here, there exists an opportunity to step out of the polarity flip flop of push/pull energetic definition.  How does this opportunity exist? The first step is in identifying, being honest about the push/pulll bias that exists....and then from here, deliberately challenging oneself to in the moment go beyond the barrier/control of the push/pull resistance that has been created in one's own mind as the programming definition.  It's interesting, because is like a point of swimming, because you are moving into new waters so to speak....it's funny because the water has always been here....and you've always had access to this area of swimming....yet due to the self imposed restraints....self has had restricted access and an accepted and allowed inability to actually express that response and ability and navigate through that space in time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I self-censor my response abilities to express myself and to create a world that is best for all life.

I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding that every time i submit myself into an accepted and allowed self-submission, as a real self-suppression....by resisting to stand out and direct myself out of being pulled or pushed into or out of something as like a sort of accepted and allowed fight and conflict within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being very very defensive about getting involved within things and participating within things that i am being asked to join in, and take part within.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing how defensive i can be within my mind of thoughts/feelings/emotions, and how so much so this has hindered my ability to really listen, look, and hear what is here....because of the accepted and allowed Fear/Defensiveness nature of my accepting and allowed mind conditioning.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for tricking myself into my own self-victimization through a sort of buying into the belief of and as my very own justified self-righteous indignation that i have professed to myself as gospel as the making sense of the push/pull experience i find myself in.....and within this...I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not really even making sense of myself within my experiences...but rather contain myself in a sort of self-censorship bubble of my very own comfort zone.

I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of fearing to face my own discomfort.

I realize and understand how I have conditioned myself through my mind to self-censor my potential by defining my comfort zone within the spectrum of fear energy knowing control.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to lose control...I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how out of control this world/my life is within and as a result of being influenced to move only be a polarity friction.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing that this very movement is a grand statement of accepted and allowed suppression...lack of understanding.....fear.....self-victimization......mind control.

I commit myself to examining/investigating my self-defined boundaries as like the basis of my self-created bubble shield from all of existence here.

I commit myself to equalizing myself with all Life here.  I commit myself to removing the the conflict from myself as the walls/boundaries i have created as my defense system.

I commit myself to challenge and engage others to break through their self-created bubbles.

I commit myself to the process of self-movement.
I realize myself movement to by like an ongoing stretching of sorts as like it is challenging at times to push myself through my own stiffness/stubbornness/rigidness....and it;s actually like a labored stretch to move beyond the boundary i created myself to be stuck within....so the stretching i see is like a sort of climbing for myself....climbing up and out of self-created suppression/depression in various ways.

I realize this climbing within myself here as like the stretching movement, is so much so a self-direction in the moment....because i notice my body is always telling me where i am sort of out of alignment/strained within myself...and so the stretching movement...and directing myself into participating in different actions in my world, is like a sort of ironing out the kinks/dissonance within myself, as like the making and unfolding of actual potential here.  I commit myself to work/play with the process here of self-movement/self-direction.

Day 757 - The Flick of the Con

 


I've learned some ironically funny things about Conflict.  Specifically, myself relationship within and as conflict...how primarily so much so it is a decision of myself to accept and allow such relationship ridiculousness as the particular dynamics of various degrees of contextual relationship dynamics.

To place this simplistically,...the point is this....Being at war/odds with things is so much a choice within and as the accepted and allowed word relationships that exist within oneself as the particular feeling/emotional charges one holds onto as a debt bond.  Fascinating it is to see the word relationships as debt bonds...the specifics of particular relationship information contexts as carrying so called charges which are essentially a sort of zing I have been doing onto myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to slow down in such moments where it is in fact possible for myself to see and realize what I am in fact allowing....and to from here actually change the very nature of my word contractual relationships.

I realize the absurd ridiculousness of creating debt for myself within and as my word relations.

I realize how ridiculously absurd it is to bond myself to debt as like making myself dependent upon charges held against myself that I am so much so at the mercy of.

I realize the absurd ridiculousness of drafting such absurd contractual relationships within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extensive nature of each and every moment as an opportunity to so much so check myself within and as my word relationships...as I see and realize my words are my bonds.  Within this, I see and realize my words as the best bonds are that which are based within and as the frame work of equality and oneness...that exist free from conflictual feeling/emotion charges against myself that create a trigger as a reoccurring and perpetuating reactionary debt bond.

I commit myself to absolving myself from debt/conflict within and as my word/world relationships Here.

I realize this is a word by word process.

I commit myself to living the self-correction of and from conflicting contractual terms of word/world relations to substantially beneficial terms of word/world agreements.

Day 717 - The Order of Things

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having a warped sense of order from the perspective of disregard for and as the Equality and Oneness of all Life here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that if things are ordered in a particular way than they cannot be regarded and ordered in another way that is equally great.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating orders as like codes and commands within my mind from a starting point of conflict and friction where the point of war is encouraged as a polarized energetic work and play that is out of sync.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for dismissing my ability to remediate myself as the words that exist within me and that come up inside me from moment to moment as thoughts, words, deeds.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being selective in establishing a value order of worth to the words/thoughts/deeds that come up within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to over value and under value the equality and oneness of the relationships as words/thoughts/deeds that exist within and as me here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself play out bodily reactions as my thoughts/words/deeds as like having a mind and personality of their own as like separate from who I really am...which is kind of interesting in and of itself, because for a dissonance to exist in thought/word/deed as mind/body//being relationship here than this is quite ridiculously absurd. I mean it's like a triangle trying to move in one direction together by always pulling and pushing against each point as like never creating a continuous harmonious and melodic flow.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to delay my continuous application on points of self-regard as the responsibilities that are mine to deal with.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting the order of my things.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating disorder in myself and this the world as a result of being poorly informed and having consequences manifest as a result of my very own acceptance and allowances of misinformation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating disorder within myself here as a result of misinformation and disinformation.

I forgive  myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how my full living potential has been out of order and it is my self-responsibility to put myself back in order as the restoration of and as my full potential ability and response ability as the love made visible as become the working action as the play write right rite here as the hearing is clear in and as the sound that is me. I realize and recognize the sound that is me is rooted in and as the epitome of me as Oneness and Equality....a sound so here that is always here no matter what...a sound so here that is always sewing and is sown here that this sound as who and how I am here exist beyond a physical body yet the sound is express as the physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and regarding my Sound mind here as who I am beyond a quantum mind and body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the pulse of my sound here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent of the embodiment of sound within and as the form in information.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing and fearing my sounds. I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding the absurd ridiculousness of fearing my sounds....because I am my Sound...and to make a statement acceptance and allowance of existing in fear of my own sounds is to accept the sound/disharmony resonance as like a less than wholeness of myself as sound here....this is like to break myself into pieces...as to accept myself as less than who I am....to make myself but a derivative of myself...that is continuously conditioned into new conditioned restraints which make the derivative of the derivative less and less...as a cycle of confinement within and which the belief is perpetually justified that escape is a valid option...when in physical fact you all it...as everything here...so to create a separateness as like a great big mess is a bit of a discombobulated message as like not realizing how and why oneself deconstructed/constructed oneself here.

I see realize and understand the irony of not realizing what you are doing in the moment as you flow in the moment doing what you are doing...and here I see how great potential and great consequence exists...because from the perspective of certainty and uncertainty working here at the same time...and what is real is always a point of self-honesty...the question as the king....because the king is asking....so in asking you stand as the self-authorization for total regard or disregard...and either way the starting point of creation/self-here is Oneness and Equality, so TAG we are always It...and learning/studying our action and participation and looking at ourselves always, makes what is clear clear...because we always make it...because we are the one's that made everything up in the first place. And therefore each has already won as firts place...so as the king of asking the question you are right and wrong in the moves we make and regardless of the amount of right turns or wrong turns it is a matter of reading the words here and looking and sounding the in form as the information here as the self-reflection as who and what we are.

I commit myself to working and playing with myself/world here as what is best for myself/Life/world/earth/Mind/Body/Being Here.

Day 553 A World in Need of Self-Direction

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting and postponing instances of self-direction which is in and as support and assistance for the betterment and sustainability of All Life on Planet Earth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for seeking out instant gratification as like a coping mechanism for harboring apathy and self-pity within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for distracting myself my issues of primary importance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring entertainment as a way for me to try to relax and forget about the stress that I carry within myself as a result of being a contributing part of the abuse here on planet earth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to carry and harbor stress within myself as the shame within not pushing myself to daily work as hard as I can to seek out solutions as the ways needed to create a newphysical reality that is in and as the alignment of assisting and supporting all Life here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing for having fallen within and as the constant and consistent standing within and and as self-direction. I realize and understand the self-responsibility within and as self-direction. I realize and understand the shameful disgrace of accepting and allowing myself to abdicate self-direction as a method of walking self-correction Here as a physical standing example of what is best for all Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow myself to be influenced by desires as like a form of distraction that presents to me programmed self-imposed limitations as fictitiously skewed value system of priorities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for seeking out external means of stimulation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resisted to ask questions as a platform of assistance and support as the first step within opening up the clarity of self-direction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying moments of stuckness as statements of emotional defeatism.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing weakness of character to exist within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing an internal polarity war to exist within and as various character of strength and weakness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within the realms of illusionary delusion as various polarity constructed characters that are perpetuated by the previous history of my acceptances and allowances. I realize and understand the daily practical living application of self-forgiveness and self-correction as the way to actually change the course of history by standing within and as accountability and self-responsibility for my history here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the importance of each individual's role in and as our history here. I realize and understand the point of self-direction within and as taking accountability for our acceptances and allowances so that we can stand as the solutions as what is best for all Life here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having given myself the choice to direct myself in ways that are best for all Life or not. I realize and understand the disgraceful shame within accepting and allowing such a choice to exist within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having tried to live self-responsibility as what is best for all Life while seeking out desires as various forms/means of instant gratification.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be controlled by external means of instant gratification.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to give up instant gratification.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing losing and never again receiving instant gratification.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having formed an energetic dependency upon mechanisms of stimulating energetic responses as various rays of instant gratification.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for perpetuating the self-mutilation of myself as life within constantly and continuously adapting and evolving the expediency in and as various forms of instant gratification. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for deriving pleasure from and as physical abuse and suffering. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having blinded myself from my own physical abuse and suffering within succumbing to the temptations of escapism within fleeting moments of numbing blissful ignorance as physical destruction for a temporary energetic high.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making excuses for the need of a detoured course of direction as like a justification for actions that are less than what is best for all Life here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding what it means to live as a presentation of Life Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding what it means for Life to exist outside of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for doubting my ability to give up the entirety of my fictitious reality of energetic relationships.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understand the shame and blatant disregard for Life within trying to keep my precious most sacredly valued energetic relationships within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have precious most sacredly valued energetic relationships within myself.

What are my precious most sacredly valued energetic relationships that exist within myself?

To be Continued?