Day 789 - TRUST and SELF-TRUST

TRUST and Self-Trust

In Asking myself how do I define Trust, What comes up within me is Honesty, meaning my truth and responsibility. I take the meaning of Trust a step further into myself as Self-Trust...myself as It....and so Here is where my Self-Honesty and Self-Responsibility are.

In opening up my investigation into Trust, I questioned whether or not there was any other Key words to support myself within and as Trust. What came up is: Confidence, Ability, Strength and, The Assured Reliance on the Character.

The Assured Reliance on the Character; Confidence, Ability, and Strength.

What Jumps Out at me Here is STRENGTH

In Questioning: Why have I had moments of difficult within and as Trust/Self-Trust?

The Answer: Moments of Weakness. I did not allow myself the truth of myself in moments of weakness. Meaning, I did not completely understand the dimension of Strength within and as my Trust. I resisted allowing myself to really face myself as How I am Living Who I am.

This lack of regard for my Strength became a massive point of suppression within myself. See, without Strength it is difficult to turn weaknesses into strengths.

What has now opened up for me is Understanding and Realizing the Complimentary Nature of: Self-Trust, Self-Honesty, Self-Responsibility, and Strength. Self-Strength.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand what it means to live Self-Strength.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to dismiss any regard for Strength within and as Trust and Self-Trust.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand the complimentary structured support within and as Strength.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand how I've abdicated Strength of Character as Who I Am as Self-Strength.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress myself here as Strength.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand how my mind has been showing me my Weakness within and as Strength. I realize my mind has shown me my weakness within and as Strength/Self-Strength as a result of how i've been accepting and allowing relationship judgments of Characters as either Inferior or Superior.

I realize the polarity game of Inferiority and Superiority, reveals self-accepted and allowed Inferiority. This is so, regardless of whether or not You believe yourself to be Superior or Inferior in relationships. Stop it.

I commit myself to stand within as Self-Trust. Self-Trust being my self-assurance in who I am here as self-honesty, self-responsibility and Self-Strength.

I realize my ability to live words effectively as Who I Am, is a result of How I Give meaning to the words I speak. I realize I must first question and understand the meanings of my words if I am to ever establish Clarity and Purity within myself here as Life.

I realize the process of word investigation is a process of self-intimacy that is unique to each individual.

I realize and understand the self-satisfaction within purifying....fine-tuning an imperfection within my Word and World Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize nor understand that when I struggle within making decisions, it is a result of have conflicting charges existing within my words. I realize and understand the solution is within investigating the specifics of each word in regards to the problem. What I mean by Problem...is the Decision that has become stuck within a point of Indecision. Ironically, I realize that Indecision is also in fact a Decision.

When and as I see myself making a decision to exist within Indecision, I stop and breathe, I Ask myself, “Is this practical for me to make the decision of Indecision?” I realize that taking the time to make a decision is in fact a decision for indecision. This is so, in the sense that I am allowing myself to test things out, take time to sort things out...to see and investigate all considerations involved within the Focal Point of being faced with a Decision.

I commit myself to simplicity within and as my word and world here.

I realize, Life Simplicity is the Key to Me. Life Simplicity is Specificity. Specificity is Self/Life Regard.

Day 677 - Effort-full

"I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resistance to learning with effortless ease" Day 676 - Life...Learning...Teach Ability...Opportunity and Fortune

This statement jumps out at me as I re-read through my previous blog entry. I ponder on the point a moment and I look at the process of development a child learns to walk within the actual skill of walking...and specifically the process of going from learning to crawl...to crawling...to standing...to falling and standing up...and actually waddling a step or two...to eventual walking effectiveness.

Within looking and regarding this process...It is quite the process and it is in fact effort-full There is a self-willing commitment to actually explore and push the development of potential which is the result of constant and consistent experimental application...practice and repetition...and a fine tuning.

So, within re-reading my initial statement I share above here with regards to an effortless within learning...I see here how I have placed an expectation about my idea of how I have believed the learning process should be. This is not necessarily the case within learning new skills. In fact some things will require much more effort than other things. And, to only learn that which comes effortlessly...would be in fact a squandering of one's actual learning potential here...because perhaps it is the commitment in learning the things that are the most challenging for ourselves that are in fact the most rewarding. I say this, because....look at the self-discipline and the self-commitment....and the self-perseverance...and the self-dedication....and the self-patience....and really.....this exemplifies the tenets of what is in fact self-mastery.

Learning something completely that is an effort-full process is rich in educational nourishment....because the the process's involved within learning anything from beginner level to a masterful level is to be rooted in the fundamental principles which substantiate an overall character development of an elite level standing. Meaning, there is no real short-cuts on the journey process of Life Mastery.

I am reminded of an example where this Ninja warrior is being asked by an aspiring Ninja how many different punches he knows how to do...and before the Ninja Warrior can even real respond....the aspiring Ninja begins spouting off all the different types of punches that he knows. The Ninja Warrior explains that he is not threatened by the the Ninja who knows 10,000 different punches he has practiced very little....But is in fact greatly concerned about facing the Ninja Warrior who has practiced a single punch 10,000 times.

The point of my sharing of this story here...is on the commitment and discipline required in and as self-perfection. Which to me exemplifies the natural learning expression of Life. Where one is able to meticulously study oneself in one's movement relationships here.

SO,

This is a point that has come to my attention within my Life....where I have had a tendency throughout my Life to learn things for a little while....when and as the learning came easily without much effort or work on my part. Then what has happened in many instances...is where I shift my focus to learning something else...where I lose interest in continuing what I initially set out to do. This tendency of mine I have notices as a result of myself always looking for the path of least resistance...and actually having conditioned myself to avoid seemingly effort-full commitments to actually expanding my comprehension within a particular subject beyond my current ability level.

This is something I am committing myself to changing. Changing specifically the reluctance within myself to continue on a point of self-mastery within particular areas I have actually really wanted to excel within.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating ideas and beliefs about how I should feel within learning something new...and the process of self-perfection.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for tainting the process of self-perfection by having pre-conceived...make believe ideas about how the aftermath of self-perfection within a particular point is in fact.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying my impatience within the difficulty of learning particular tasks...skills.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating judgement/friction/conflict within myself in relationship to the amount of time it takes for me to learn and effectively comprehend a particular point.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for burdening myself within the guilt and shame which I experience within reflecting upon all my failed attempts to actually comprehend a particular point and physically administer perfect execution of said point.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for giving credence to giving up on myself when and as I am faced with difficulty.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding that the real testaments of individual will is in fact the commitment and devotion to oneself when faced with difficulty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for shying away from difficulty within my participations here in this world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing difficulty.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the irony of myself inflicted difficulties I have done unto myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having created an apprehensiveness towards difficult tasks.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having avoided to really examine the extensiveness of my very own apprehensiveness as like a self-ingrained defense mechanism to avoid actually seeing the painful truth of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for choosing to minimize my creative influence within our shared World System...because of the fact that I see this requires great effort on my part.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting my creative potential when and as great effort is required in developing creative contributions here that are in the best interests of myself and all Life here. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting my creative potential because it takes effort.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having a negative polarity connotation towards the word "effort"
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having cringing thoughts/emotions about "effort" as like an ugh exhausting type experience.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a resistance towards effort that can be torturous at times.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for torturing myself as a result of having an ineffective relationship with and as the word "effort".

Effort: Strenuous physical or mental exertion.
            A vigorous or determined attempt.
            The result of an attempt.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for defining strenuous physical or mental exertion as something that I want to avoid most of the time and only participate within it if I feel/believe it to be absolutely necessary.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have conditioned my effort to exist in relationship to my particular emotion and or feeling about exerting effort in the particular moment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being unreliable within my participations as a result of accepting and allowing myself to be conditioned by my thoughts, feelings and or emotions that pop up suddenly within a moment with specific regards to a point I am looking at.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for self-sabotaging my ability to participate in learning things effectively and efficiently.

The word 'Effort" is rooted in the Latin words, " Ex + Fortis....which means ...Out + Strong"....which lead to the old french word "esforcier"....which leads us to the word "effort" we have today.

In looking at the "Out + Strong" of the Latin roots of Effort....I see that effort is a result of breathing out an exertion of self-expression....a living of life force essence....a particular strength in character being exhibited within a particular focus as a result of and as the living of an outer strength. I see and understand this outward expression of effort being the result of an inward commitment of oneself to share the expression of oneself outward and onward. And therefore I see effort as a tool in self-development....a tool that assists and support our process development here.

I commit myself to living Effort as an Outward strength of Character.

I see realize and understand that to live Effort as an outward strength of character is to live an inward strength of character. As within and so without.

Day 635 Perseverance

Perseverance sounds kind of like "personal endurance"...though it is not exact, yes, I realize that, however I do see the similarities in the sounding of the words here. Also, let me look here at Perseverance some more:

Per Severance.

What is a Severance?  What first comes to mind is a "severance package" or "severance pay" which comes as a result of being laid off, or the terms of compensation for an employee ending services rendered for an employer.

Severance can also more bluntly be regarded as the "severing" of something. Severance also means the ending of a relationship. It can mean a "breaking off of a friendship"...like to sever the ties of the relationship and or agreement. In law it can be referred to as a "a division into parts, as of liabilities or provisions; removal of a part from the whole."

So, when I first started looking at the word severance I had a small reaction, "as like oh shit...I was looking to see the awesomeness in Perseverance...and now I have found "Severance" which can easily be regarded as something that is seemingly so much less than awesome"

What's interesting about this initially observed reaction I faced...is that I took the opportunity to investigate the extent of it...which yielded some insight I would like to share.

So, in facing the fact of the matter that relationships do in fact end...that people do in fact lose their jobs...that death is a very real matter of our existence here...I began to wonder why it is that I regard the "end" of various forms of relationships as "bad". Within this self-reflective examination I noted how I have been conditioned within the tendency to immediately classify information with a particular connotation of being either "good" or "bad"....and within this it is not to say that "good" and "bad" do not in fact both exist here...but to see the interdependence of both "good" and "bad" here and that good and bad is really beyond the relationship association of my feelings and or emotions attached to information.

OK, so to bring more clarity to my investigation here, I became aware of the fact that I wasn't able to see the "Good"within the apparent "bad"...in this particular situation...how specifically it could be "good" for Severances to occur. So, this lead me on another Quest as the Question brought through the answer here for me to see...and that being, "aha, hey, look, it is in fact really supportive in one's process of development to remediate the mistakes that have been made"...Which infers that in order to live "Perseverance" One must in fact Sever relationships that are contradictory to the well being of one's ambition, goals, process of learning and expanding a particular skill set. For example, and this is a very elementary example:

"Bobby wants to be a writer but spends all his time playing video games"....See, for Bobby to begin writing here, he has to "change" the nature of his relationship to playing video games all the time. Within this relationship here, "See" that he does not require to cut out video games from his life completely...he just needs to change the dynamics of his relationship with video games...so that he can enable himself the Time to cultivate a new relationship with Writing."

So, this is an interesting example here because this reflects to me a point of fine-tuning "Change"...and also the point of "Recognition"...where there is a sort of re-alignment happening within One's cognition/awareness Here.

So, Obviously I am illustrating but 1 example of an "Adjustment" required within and as a point of understanding "Perseverance" as the changing nature of our relationships here.

So, also note here, that it is not to say that in practically living the effectiveness of "Perseverance" that some relationship connections will  be seemingly deleted/cut-off completely.  I say here "seemingly" because of for instance the "stopping" and or "breaking" of a particular habit. However, if you look closely here,even though you stopped your particular relationship association with the habit here....does it in fact mean that lets say You cut-off/cut-out video games completely from your participation....it doesn't in fact mean that video games are now non existent within the greater shared reality which we are all in fact a part of. So, see here how it is basically always the relationship dynamics that change of a point in Question...as like "What is the starting point of and as Our Association Here?"

Oneness and Equality is the Starting point of and as Our Relationship/Agreement Here. Obviously here, within this understanding and insight is "where" in fact Our "Perseverance" is required and practically able to be lived as the self-correction of cognitive-dissonance into and as the "Joy" to the World/Words in and as the restoration of Life Being and Meaning Precious and Premier Value that will be protected, supported, regarded, recognized as what is Creative and Structured Assistance and Support as the Best Giving and Receiving Relationship Agreement.

What's so cool in various degrees/dimensions of "Awesomeness" here is the fact that each One of us is a self-reflection of and as the "terms" of and as "Our" "Agreements/Relationships" here. So, Here, I again emphasize the importance in understanding Our Word/World Relationships Here as the basic tenants in and as our ability/capacity to cultivate the development of harmonious gift givings.


Note: to "Play" with what we "Say" is how we "Service" Our "Work" and "World" from day to day as the meaning of "Life Gift-Giving" as Our "Today" which is always Our "Present" Sharing the Life of Our Words Here...as Our Creative Structured Support In "Walking" Our "Talking" as What it means to in fact practically live Our "Words"


I commit myself to living Perseverance within facilitating a Practical Living World that is Best for All Life.


Perseverance is steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.

Words synonymous with Perseverance include:

persistence, tenacity, determination, staying power, indefatigable, steadfastness, purposefulness; patience, endurance, application, diligence, dedication, commitment, doggedness, assiduity, tirelessness, stamina; intransigence, obstinacy; informal stick-to-it-iveness; formal pertinacity; "in a competitive environment perseverance is an invaluable asset"

Day 621 Information Application

Information without application is useless.

What's interesting is that sometimes I've allowed the information that exists within me be used in application that is less than the best application. 

Basically using information in some instances to create a justification...like correlating specific information that comes up within my mind as a reason why I do not have to stick to my plan of action...as like believing that it is OK for me to flake on my initially planning. What is fascinating about this is that it is self-dishonest....where my self-direction is compromised within giving credence to new information that came up within my mind as a particular feeling/emotion about continuing to follow through with my plan of action.

What's interesting here is that the new information that just pops up in my mind as feeling/emotion and as a push/pull argument sort of things as like an attempted persuasion to misdirect my planned self-direction...is that the information isn't really new...it's reflects points of information that I have within myself that is related to this particular point...and so...in a way this is really cool...because my mind reveals to me my own weakness...which is cool...because the weakness can be utilized as a point of support and assistance in strength training the resolve necessary to stick to a plan that is designed as a cool point of support and assistance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how to utilize all the information that exists within myself in ways that support and assist myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how my inherited weaknesses have been used as a point of self-sabotage to influence my execution of specific planned self-movements in particular moments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for giving credence to the thought/feeling/emotions that comes up within my mind that persuades me from my specifically planned course of action.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding that when I am being persuaded by the thoughts/feelings/emotions that come up within my mind to change my course of direction..that there is a point of self-reflection here...as like my mind shows and reveals to me where I have information acceptances and allowances within myself that require to be forgiven and worked/walked through as the practical living physical self-correction.


To Be Continued