Day 775 - In Fear You're It

 




Inferiority - In fear you are it. You are it in fear. Inferior I tied to the why of the fear I fear. Inferior it is why. A less than experience and acceptance and allowance.  Often masked and projected externally as superiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize how I have existed as the Inferiority character construction within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not even believe it possible that I could exist within and as the point of Inferiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my very own inferiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide and deny acknowledging points/moments/reactions within and as Inferiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to regard inferiority as such a bad thing, like one of the worst things a person could be.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that inferiority is a choice and a decision so much so and that if you are ever faced within and as the point of inferiority, you should hide it by presenting a false front, lie and deny it, as a way to not accept it within yourself.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realizes how I created coping defense mechanisms within my mind as ways to 'survive' within and as the moments of inferiority. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing how recognition of moments of inferiority is a great point of strength in seeing how and where you are not measuring up to par within and as a point/application/ability.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having made inferiority a perpetuated weakness within myself, by being afraid to admit points of inadequacy within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to regard inferiority as wrong.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to understand and really know inferiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating a preference towards hiding from my inferiority within and as the outward projection of superiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compound the existence of inferiority within myself as a result of believing myself to be high, mighty and powerful within the character reaction of superiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create abuse within myself internally and externally as a result of fearing to face myself within the full spectrum of polarized characterizations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing how I constructed a primary character throughout my life as Inferiority who reacts in fear and projects superiority as a coverup job and operation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live a lie as my very own self-deception and self-manipulation as the reactionary inferiority character that created and energetic addiction towards channeling a high and might experience within myself as my energetic release for the built of layers of shit that I would compound within myself as my mind activity here in defense and conflict with myself and world as everyone here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing the extent and scope to which I created clever coping mechanisms to induce a positive energy high experience and escape for myself as a result of fearing to get real with myself and acknowledge/face/know/understand my weakness as Inferiority and Inadequacy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to associate vulnerability and sensitivity to being undesirable forms of weakness connected to inferiority and that it is my choice to disregard and deny the reality of these words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to construct myself in and as inferiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing my potential as a result of fearing to get real.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be on the run from myself...as like constantly being on the move within fear as my accepted and allowed mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating all sort of beautiful words and ideas and concepts as various ways of my word patterned communications to perpetuate a false front....a false flag operation..a lie, a veil, a misrepresentation of the actuality of what I am accepting and allowing within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have thought that is what you are suppose to do with points of inferiority and any other sort of weakness that comes up within one's mind and body experience here...as to make something up that you like better.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realizing and understanding how to substantiate my vocabulary effectively as a structurally sound foundation within myself, as the words existing within me here in and as equality and oneness, from the perspective that words are innocent and do not require me to make up charges held against the words as them being polarized within the scope of positive, neutral and negative energies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to support a world of impotence, as a sort of powerlessness that is governed and controlled, ruled through and as my accepted and allowed fear...a sort of self-inflicted spitefulness as the lack of understanding of what Inferiority in fact means.

I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding the sense of irony existed within and as word and world relationships here, within and as our oneness and equality, as that is the one point always here...our oneness and equality...and the irony of course is within and as our self-definition as how we imprison our very cells here at a resonant level as the scope of the entirety of ourselves as all of existence within and as our sound.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that my potential to exist here as sound, has been suppressed, that I have been existing here within and as a sort of noise, a derivative of sound, a less than experience...the epitome of inferiority...rooted in and as self-abuse, being in conflict with myself and not even realizing how I am in fact perpetuating and prolonging a war within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize the propaganda I would create in and as various forms of reaction/fear of myself being here within and as a point of reaction....where I would then create a disinformation agenda to quickly move into another character to hide the scope of the truth of myself, which has been the very initial reaction/fear within myself, as fear it self.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear fear itself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a battle/conflict of epic proportions with Fear...believing Fear to be the ultimate enemy and point of separation that I must fight against as the very quick moving reactionary defense systems within my mind.  I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding how extensively I have been on the attack and the defense at the same time...the complete reflection of and as the military war machine here in all ways, penetrating the totality of my existence here.


When and as I see myself reacting in Inferiority/inadequacy, I stop and breathe, I take a moment to correctly identify the specifics of my reactionary defense/weakness.  I realize this is a weakness that requires specific self-correction because it is being revealed to me in my mind as a form of military defense and offense upon myself and all of existence here.  I realize it is my self-responsibility to come to terms within myself as a removing myself from the field of battle, where I release myself from participation within and as the enemy construct here. I see, realize and understand the solution of myself here at peace with all of existence as a point of agreement within and as my word relationships here, where I in fact am at ease with my word and world relationships here, where I mean no offense or defense.  I commit myself to the process of settling the terms of negotiation within myself as the vocabulary that exists within myself as a form of energetic dissonance.  I realize and understand the process of self-transformation as the self-direction of my existence within and as energetic information, to that of physical sound substance here as the physical universe here.  I realize, understand, and know the process of status correction here to be a labored physical process of nurturing myself back together again, from disharmony and disease to harmony here as the sound of music at ease.  I realize the substance of self-expression here is in fact our sound.  I commit myself to birthing myself as sound/life here.

Day 673 - Fear is the Fare we Pay

So the word Fare within Fear has been kind of jumping out at me as of late.

It's interesting because I have in recent years defined fear to be a rather negative thing...and it's interesting because the word fear shouldn't really be defined to exist within and as a polarity definition....meaning that I see it as being unnecessary for the word fear to hold onto a negative energetic charge.

So, looking at the "fare" within fear...It is cool to see the fare being like the price we pay in learning a lesson....facing something new....as there in many cases are natural fears so to speak in facing things that are new....because in this perspective...it's like our body has defense mechanisms in place to protect ourself...and fear is like the main defense mechanism...that kind of acts like a guide to pause/delay/postpone our movement within a particular point....like a resistance to being potentially reckless....like a signalling in our body...to say...hey...be alert, take caution.....be aware...
What's interesting is that in looking at any particular word you can make it out to be something positive or negative...in terms of carrying a particular buzz....feeling or emotion....like attaching an energetic high or low to the word.

What's interesting about the word Fear is that I had previously defined it as being like the lowest of low's...like the most negative word....and in my thinking in the past...I believed everything comes from fear....like love for instance....because love is like the polar opposite of fear....the high....so love in mind was only possible because of fear....and I pretty much believed that because of the energetic relationship of words....all words are based and rooted in fear to a certain degree or another....meaning that it was just like the intensity of fear/dissonance/conflict/friction varied....but essentially it was my belief that Fear is the source word origin of energetic friction...polarity...

So, in a moment ago having looked at the word "fare" within fear...I wanted to investigate this....because to me this seems like a balancing of the scales so to speak....like, specifically signifying how my relationship with fear has been irrational to a certain extent...and that by understanding the "fare" within fear..my fear can be rationalized.....now that sounds silly...rationalizing fear.....see that sounds funny to me because "fear" in having initially being defined as pure negative energy....I believed fear to be something that is totally unnatural and totally irrational....like fear itself...the experience is a mistake....a mindfuck....

Ironically enough in looking at "fear" here as a word....it is a bit of a mind fuck to define fear as purely rational or irrational....well wait a second actually.....in looking at fear from the perspective of being something that is irrational....I mean....that it like not really real to a certain extent...I mean to rationalize irrationality...is a kind of hocus pocus make believe....and so to be able to discern between rational...and irrational is a matter of self-honesty introspection....

Where am I going with all this "fear" talk about types of fear being either ration or irrational....???

Specifically I am looking to allocate clarity for myself within and as the word "fear".

I see how at the moment I'm not really sure If I know how to live only rational fear....as like a point of support.....because I am certain I have engaged myself within moments of irrational fear....

I would say this is what I am looking for....support from fear....to understand how to utilize fear as a guide...an aid....a point of support in keeping myself physically aligned with what is best for all life here...

How do I see fear as having the potential to be a great tool of support?

Fear is a strong physical body support.....fear lets us know discomfort within ourself....when we are stepping out of that which we know......what we know is comfortable....what we don't know can be rather uncomfortable....this is the body's built in self-preservation system...like a kind of gps compass monitor kind of thing.....

So...fear in learning something new....is a sort of recognition process....where the terms of the circumstances require to be established....and the fear is in and as the unknown so to speak,,,,

The irony here is that fear is the defense protection against death....which is interesting to regard and look at ....because life fears death....yet all life dies....and without death there is no life....and so it's like death and life are synonymous of one another....so to polarize them as the wither or game is silly....because it's like missing the point and not seeing/realizing/understanding/regarding the interconnectedness of all Life/Death here.

It's interesting to me to look at life and death as stages....and they are two different stages....yet...they are very much the exact same stage.....like life is the present....and death is the past and the future....and so.....well maybe Im a bit off on the life is the present and death is the past and the future....always away...absent from the present....because whenever it gets here its gone. Perhaps death is just a dimension within Life....as Life is also a dimension within death...

OK, the point about stages....the life stage....and the death stage.....it's like we are here in the present....as Actors....to act on stage...which is life....our movie our story here....our play...and all is an actor within the total story/movie/play/work here....and yet....everybody for the most part is Reacting the death stage....and the irony is the reverse order here.....like instead of acting....there is a lot of reacting going on....reacting being a sort of backwards relationship with fear....instead of fear being a great enabler...as a compass/tool/learning aid...as like the road map as in where to go....it's being a controlling/regulating feature....as a disability...in preventing most people from going there....facing the unknown....and the irony of the unknown...is that it's just the natural fear of the unknown....which is really the sustenance, nourishment and nutrients which is the food of support as the fare and price....gift...of creation here....because creation is really birthed in and through the unknown...as like the processed walked into knowing...even though there can be self-trust and self-honesty....and self-forgiveness....the unknown is that which is undefined....and it's interesting in regarding this very fact of "unknown"..."undefined".....because if we look and access our very relationship with word/world definitions....what's the problem with that which is undefined?  Well..since birth we've operated under the characterization and pretense of definition....language participation here through definition....I mean the pictures on our televisions nowadays we refer to as high definition....because it's very clearly defined and it's easy to see the details very well....

And so it's interesting of and in itself to fear the details of something....because the truth is in the details so to speak,,,,ironically....how we speak the truth is in and as the detailed specifics of what it is we say....and how it is we say what it is we say....

The truth is the fear...and the fare here.....the life and the death here.....

Interesting to see how the is a polarized dissonance generally accepted between the relationship to life and death here on our planet earth amongst our species of human.

Life is devalued in order to give life more value....
Most individual human life not regarded....revered....so....therefore the death of most individual human death not regarded and or revered....

Interesting how....the human has been conditioned to believe to care about oneself...yet not realize and understand how it is to care about everyone as oneself....

Death of plants/animals/insects for the life of man is an irrational cost of business here?
Death of plants/animals/insects/humans is just the cost of doing business here?

What is the business here? who made business here? who established what is business here?

We are the decision makers of business here....it's all of our business here.....earth...life is the business here....all is in the family business.....

funny....tragic...ironic....comedy here in and as our relationships here.... I mean from our particular word associations and definitions....to the actual interpersonal actions....well, can the interaction between one another be effective....if our word relationships and associations are not effective....it's interesting because,,,,we are made up of information....genetic code....and it's all a language organization system interplay...and we can actually establish the terms for the effectiveness of earth/life coexistence here to be in harmonious relationship terms with death here....like the heaven and earth merged together as one....we rectify....self-correct the hell....which is here....and therefore create the eternal glory which is the win/win equation as the restoration of balance as the order of things in and as life/death support here...as how to live without being victimized...disenfranchised through fear...and actually learn to create a new from venturing into the unknown which is the present moment and the future possibility and potential ultimately greater reality as a result of the accumulation of greatness.....though if we have a balance and order of greatness here....can the best become better than the best.....is there room for improvement and expansion.....oh the possibilities existing within the impossibilities as like what is not yet possible for ourselves...as like a limited reality where the limits can be pushed/challenged/changed/expanded....manipulated/leveraged....played with worked with......

To be continued

Day 585 Self-Satisfaction Corrections

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating judgments about self-satisfaction and amusement.





When and as I see myself creating energetic judgments about self-satisfaction and amusement, I stop and breathe, I purify my vocabulary by removing the positive/negative energetic charges associated to the words "self-satisfaction" and "amusement". I realize and understand how points come up within my mind as a self-reflection of the conflict that exists within and as my vocabulary from and as the perspective of having associated positive/negative energetic charges upon words. I realize and understand it is myself-responsibility to purify my relationship with words back to a point of equality and oneness where the words stand pure and innocent here. I realize and understand how detrimental it is to exist with a contaminated vocabulary. I commit myself purifying my vocabulary. I commit myself to stop sabotaging myself within and as the acceptance and allowance of existing within and as the restraints of a contaminated vocabulary as a result of a reluctance to face the initial memory impressions I formed to particular words as thought/feeling/emotion energy resonances from and as within a point of conflicting friction.






I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how within investigating a point of introspection I have a tendency to polarize my findings as like right and or wrong within and as positive and negative energies.






When and as I see myself creating a versus scenario within and as my self-investigation/introspection, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand this is a flag point within myself where I am standing within and as a point of conflict...experiencing the pull and push of both energies existing within myself, I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of justifying and validating both the positive and negative energies within myself. I commit myself to practically applying the tools of self-forgiveness and self-corrective applications to facilitate my release from and as self imposed energetic enslavement. I commit myself to stop getting lost within and as the pull/push of positive/negative energies. I commit myself to remaining stable within sorting out various energies within myself by remembering to breath...and slow myself down with breath. I realize and understand that it ability to see what is here clearly is suppressed when and as I forget to slow myself down with breath. I realize and understand the base nature of my programmed conditioned mind is to move quickly within and as energetic reactions/stimulation as positive/negative/neutral energies. I commit myself to sorting out the energetic layers within and as my mind consciousness system.







I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for seeking self-satisfaction within creating a labeled self-definition/judgement upon a point with a polarity friction/conflict energy.






When and as I see myself aligning self-satisfaction within creating a labeled self-definition/judgement upon a point within a polarity friction/conflict energy, I stop and breathe, I see realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of continuing within such a capacity, I see realize and understand the urgency within stopping myself and self-correcting my structural resonance alignment here as I realize that to perpetuate a polarity friction/conflict energy within myself in any capacity is not cool as it is in fact self-harm. I realize and understand what I accept and allow within myself is a resulting reflection of what I would like and want for others to have...and so I realize and understand the self-responsibility in giving myself the best caring support and assistance in purifying the nature of my relationship here as by becoming one and equal with Life. I commit myself to becoming One and Equal as Life here manifested in physicality.

Day 545 Stupid Conditioning Corrections

Continuing from Previous Blogs Stupid Conditioning Part 1 and Part 2


I commit myself to living passion and compassion.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become stressed within situations where things do not work out according to my plan and or expectations.

I commit myself to adapting my plans from the starting point of practicality when and as my plans do not manifest as expected.

I commit myself to flexibility within achieving my goals and exercising my action plans.

When and as I see myself becoming frustrated/agitated...even a little bit, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand the impracticality of allowing myself to dwell and wallow within despair.

I commit myself to stop dwelling and wallowing within despair.

I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of dwelling and and wallowing within despair.

When and as I see myself reacting to someone's learning ability, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of reacting to someone's learning ability. I realize and understand reacting to someone's learning ability is like choosing to suppress self-awareness and my natural learning ability.

I commit myself to supporting the natural learning ability.

I commit myself to encouraging the natural learning ability.

I commit myself to patience and self-trust within and as the natural learning ability.

I realize and understand that within the natural learning ability everyone eventually gets to the same point of understanding/realization.

When and as I see myself neglecting a duty of care for myself/others, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand the self-integrity and self-responsibility within and as the 'duty of care' as what is best for all Life as the epitome of Oneness and Equality. I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of negating self-responsibility within and as my duty of care. I realize and understand myself as the epitome of and as duty of care. I realize and understand my standing commitment here as principled living duty of care. I see and realize our duty of care within and as self-honest investigation as the best self-responsible solutions. I realize and understand self-responsible solutions prevent the perpetuation of most unfortunate consequence. I commit myself to prevention as the best cure. I commit myself to moving myself expression here within and as the starting point of 'duty of care'

When and as I see I am accepting and allowing difficult in living patience as a word of assistance and support within myself, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand that I am accepting and allowing a discrepancy to exist within myself in relationship to the word "patience". I direct myself to clarify my relationship agreement within and as "patience" as like the payment/gift in enabling myself to see with clarity the common sense obviousness of what is best...as I realize and understand what is best for Life come from within and as the self-honesty of patience, as like taking the time to see for real so that I in fact can realize what is here to see and can direct my actions from and as the starting point solution of what is best for Life, as I realize and understand that I first gift myself the gift of patience and in that first gifting myself the gift of patience/self-real-seeing...I enable myself to give real support because I have taken the time to make sure I have what is best to give and share as the supported living solution here. I realize and understand myself as the living assisted and supported solution. I realize and understand I have the patience to receive the gift of Life as I am committed to laboring myself here, in and as physical reality. I commit myself to the patience in birthing myself as Life.

When and as I see myself reflecting on baggage that I have harbored within myself such as disappointment/regret, I take this moment and opportunity to release myself from my own self inflicted bondage into suffering and internal damnation, I realize and understand when I am triggered by an external event within my reality that opens up a point of self-reflection in seeing my past history...I direct myself in giving myself a new way forward, by circumventing the continuation of a past historical pattern that does not best serve all Life here. I realize and understand my ability to create a new path for myself as all Life here that is a presentation of what is best for all Life. I realize and understand the point of practical living individual self-expression within the birthing process of Life born from and as the physical. I realize that it is the principles that are important within creating a new path as a solution/remedy to circumvent old history from continuing to repeat itself.

I commit myself to releasing/letting go of all the dead weight I have dragged around within myself.

I commit myself to stop burdening myself with the extra weight of unresolved conflict within myself.

I commit myself stress free living as the self-realization and commitment to facing and releasing all problems that exist within myself.

I commit myself to becoming problem free as a self sustaining solution that constantly and consistently works to maintain excellence/perfection/magnificence.

I commit myself to embracing excellence/perfection/magnificence.

I commit myself to realizing and understanding the humbleness within and as the excellence/perfection/magnificence of self.

I commit myself to solutions that are best for all Life.

I commit myself to stop choosing to be spiteful.

I commit myself to standing as example of the decision to let go of the freedom to be spiteful.

I commit myself to deprogramming stupidity from within myself.

I commit myself to programming that which is best for all Life.

I commit myself to Oneness and Equality as the initial starting point program from which All Life programs can be born and scripted as the written scripture which is all ways best for Life.

I realize and understand the process of re-structuring the law of my being within and as the rudiments of Life Being Oneness and Equality.

When and as I see myself blaming a student, I stop and face my mistake as a teacher as I realize and understand the shame in blaming a student for their learning inability. I realize and understand the self-responsibility in and as the physical standing as a world teacher to be held in and as accordance to the principle of Life Being Equality and Oneness. I realize and understand blame is lame...and that within blame there is a point of opportunity to correct a misfortune and therefor in turn, turning the missed fortune into and as a fortune as the practical physical living example and solution of the impossible becoming possible through and as the self-determination of my will being the way which is the growth and expansion of that which is always best for all Life here as the consistent and constant sharing/givings/offerings that are all ways best for Life.

I commit myself to standing within and without Life and Death.

I commit myself to preventing stupidity.

I commit myself to standing as the best education possible.

I commit myself to dedicating myself to education as that which is best for all Life.

I commit myself to Life Education.

I commit myself to preventing misfortune within education.

I commit myself to giving the best education.

When and as I see myself suppressing the giving of the best education possible, I realize and understand the point of oneness and equality here as the principle Life living law of existence and within this I see and realize how I was choosing to not receive the best education possible..and within this moment of clarity...I give myself the answer as the lesson learned from my mistake and therefore take myself direction inward and outward as the onward playing presentation of and as the practical living Life Simplicity Physical Solution Here.

I commit myself to playing and presenting the Practical Living Life Simplicity Physical Solution Here.

I commit myself to standing as a Teacher/Instructor/Educator/Teammate/Peer/Common Man, playing and presenting the Life Simplicity within and as the Practical Living Physical Solution Here.

I commit myself to move beyond good intentions and desires that perpetuate self-interest indulgences that are out of alignment of what is best for All Life Here.

I commit myself to aligning myself Here as what is all ways best for/as Life Here.

I commit myself to stop sabotaging creation within and as the pursuit of happiness/good intentions.

I commit myself to self-responsibility within and as direct-response-abled-first-aid....as the care and attention I wish to receive. I realize and understand the practical within the statement, "be careful what You wish for"

Day 442 Black Mirrored

An interesting point was presented to me today.

I suggest checking out Why Words Aren’t Free - Reptilians - Part 219 and How Information Processing Disempowers - Reptilians - Part 221


This evening I was downtown around 2am picking my brother up who had been boozing. The environment downtown as the bars were beginning to close was rather chaotic as it was like the night of the living dead...alcohol fueled zombies everywhere....stumbling, slurring their words, yelling, screaming, reacting intensely, fighting, and prancing around....and blabbering the same things over and over again as like they forgot what they said to the person 3 seconds ago so they're saying the same thing again...like a broken record repeating itself over and over...and that's just describing some of what I witnessed this evening...

 What I want to share is that as I initially took in so much information within the environment as what I was hearing and seeing...I almost started projecting an emotional reaction of words to my brother...as like taking it personally everything that I am seeing and hearing...and then I realised and understood...what's the point of doing that...how does that make me any different to all the other zombies I see if I react to seeing zombies doing all sorts of zombie things...

On the car ride home this evening I said something to my brother about one of the zombies we saw this evening...his response was interesting...as he thought it was funny that what I said was so casual and without any emotion or feeling. I had said to him that the guy we encountered was just really boozed and was maybe under the influence of a little cocaine...but more boozed than cocaine induced...

The point of me mentioning the above point is that later when I got home after having listened to the above interviews I had reflected upon the point of how so often in the past I would take the knowledge and information I see and hear personally...as like I couldn't help myself from reacting to the knowledge and information...and it's like it was always justified because I was generating feelings and emotions about what I saw/heard/learned...and therefore it seemed valid for me to have a feeling/emotion/judgement about whatever it was I was seeing because I was exercising my minds right to have a moral compass of right or wrong...


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the absurd ridiculousness of emotion and feelings in any context...as like I realise and understand the mind fuck of such participation as like just activating an internal moral compass based upon self righteousness positioning as like a mind gps system that has been set up to react in alarm as feeling/emotion to every sort of stimulation...which i mean is pretty absurd and ridiculousness...because it's like making oneself weak...like no stability can exist within a person when being hardwired to react to everything...I realise and understand how easy it is for people to be controlled and manipulated as a result of feelings/emotions/reactions and judgments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how much I manipulated and form of self control within myself as result of participating in and as reactions as thoughts/feelings/emotions/judgments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding myself as a zombie as like being so susceptible to reaction as the various forms of energetic impulses as the range of emotions and feelings as like forms of self righteous judgement that have been wired within me as a moral compass that can always be justified as my logic.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the mind fuck of reaction as like perceiving it as logically justified because it is what I am experiencing within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having so many times said, fuck it...Im just gonna go with this emotion and or feeling I am experiencing within myself..as like I just wanted to make my point...as like give my opinions...as let people know what I believe...as like what I am experiencing within myself...

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding how abusive I have been to myself and others within speaking from a point of emotion and feeling...as like I see and realise this to be a form of verbal diarrhea..as like spraying venom...

So many of the sounds I heard amongst the crowd of zombies this evening was piercingly intense...as like very unpleasant to hear...

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding that every feeling/emotion that I accept and allow within myself is in fact this piercing sound of conflicted abuse...and I realise and understand that I don't like the sounds of conflicted abuse and that it is my self responsibility to make sure I stop and remove all sounds of conflicted abuse within myself because it is not cool and I wouldn't want anyone to accept and allow the sounds of conflicted abuse to exist within them...so I realise and understand the point of integrity and dignity within taking accountability for my zombie like behaviour mannerisms..so that I can stop being a zombie...and actually be living live...as alive...like aware and accountable for my physical sounds as sound expression as equality and oneness...as like like beyond energetic friction.

When and as I see energetic friction within myself, I stop and breathe...I hold the point of energetic friction within myself and examine the energetic friction until I am clear in understanding as to the origin of the particular energetic friction...and then I release the energetic friction...by dissipating it within myself...as like directing the stop to the conflict...as a result of standing within and as the conflict and remedying the solution as the solution as I realise and understand myself as the starting point source of accountability.  I realise and understand the absurd ridiculousness of letting energetic friction linger within myself as like chore that I am avoiding taking responsibility for me...because wow is that every stupid....I realise and understand the point of getttrrrr done