Day 775 - In Fear You're It

 




Inferiority - In fear you are it. You are it in fear. Inferior I tied to the why of the fear I fear. Inferior it is why. A less than experience and acceptance and allowance.  Often masked and projected externally as superiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize how I have existed as the Inferiority character construction within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not even believe it possible that I could exist within and as the point of Inferiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my very own inferiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide and deny acknowledging points/moments/reactions within and as Inferiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to regard inferiority as such a bad thing, like one of the worst things a person could be.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking that inferiority is a choice and a decision so much so and that if you are ever faced within and as the point of inferiority, you should hide it by presenting a false front, lie and deny it, as a way to not accept it within yourself.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realizes how I created coping defense mechanisms within my mind as ways to 'survive' within and as the moments of inferiority. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing how recognition of moments of inferiority is a great point of strength in seeing how and where you are not measuring up to par within and as a point/application/ability.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having made inferiority a perpetuated weakness within myself, by being afraid to admit points of inadequacy within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to regard inferiority as wrong.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to understand and really know inferiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating a preference towards hiding from my inferiority within and as the outward projection of superiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compound the existence of inferiority within myself as a result of believing myself to be high, mighty and powerful within the character reaction of superiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create abuse within myself internally and externally as a result of fearing to face myself within the full spectrum of polarized characterizations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing how I constructed a primary character throughout my life as Inferiority who reacts in fear and projects superiority as a coverup job and operation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live a lie as my very own self-deception and self-manipulation as the reactionary inferiority character that created and energetic addiction towards channeling a high and might experience within myself as my energetic release for the built of layers of shit that I would compound within myself as my mind activity here in defense and conflict with myself and world as everyone here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing the extent and scope to which I created clever coping mechanisms to induce a positive energy high experience and escape for myself as a result of fearing to get real with myself and acknowledge/face/know/understand my weakness as Inferiority and Inadequacy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to associate vulnerability and sensitivity to being undesirable forms of weakness connected to inferiority and that it is my choice to disregard and deny the reality of these words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to construct myself in and as inferiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing my potential as a result of fearing to get real.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be on the run from myself...as like constantly being on the move within fear as my accepted and allowed mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating all sort of beautiful words and ideas and concepts as various ways of my word patterned communications to perpetuate a false front....a false flag operation..a lie, a veil, a misrepresentation of the actuality of what I am accepting and allowing within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have thought that is what you are suppose to do with points of inferiority and any other sort of weakness that comes up within one's mind and body experience here...as to make something up that you like better.  I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realizing and understanding how to substantiate my vocabulary effectively as a structurally sound foundation within myself, as the words existing within me here in and as equality and oneness, from the perspective that words are innocent and do not require me to make up charges held against the words as them being polarized within the scope of positive, neutral and negative energies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to support a world of impotence, as a sort of powerlessness that is governed and controlled, ruled through and as my accepted and allowed fear...a sort of self-inflicted spitefulness as the lack of understanding of what Inferiority in fact means.

I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding the sense of irony existed within and as word and world relationships here, within and as our oneness and equality, as that is the one point always here...our oneness and equality...and the irony of course is within and as our self-definition as how we imprison our very cells here at a resonant level as the scope of the entirety of ourselves as all of existence within and as our sound.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that my potential to exist here as sound, has been suppressed, that I have been existing here within and as a sort of noise, a derivative of sound, a less than experience...the epitome of inferiority...rooted in and as self-abuse, being in conflict with myself and not even realizing how I am in fact perpetuating and prolonging a war within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize the propaganda I would create in and as various forms of reaction/fear of myself being here within and as a point of reaction....where I would then create a disinformation agenda to quickly move into another character to hide the scope of the truth of myself, which has been the very initial reaction/fear within myself, as fear it self.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear fear itself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a battle/conflict of epic proportions with Fear...believing Fear to be the ultimate enemy and point of separation that I must fight against as the very quick moving reactionary defense systems within my mind.  I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding how extensively I have been on the attack and the defense at the same time...the complete reflection of and as the military war machine here in all ways, penetrating the totality of my existence here.


When and as I see myself reacting in Inferiority/inadequacy, I stop and breathe, I take a moment to correctly identify the specifics of my reactionary defense/weakness.  I realize this is a weakness that requires specific self-correction because it is being revealed to me in my mind as a form of military defense and offense upon myself and all of existence here.  I realize it is my self-responsibility to come to terms within myself as a removing myself from the field of battle, where I release myself from participation within and as the enemy construct here. I see, realize and understand the solution of myself here at peace with all of existence as a point of agreement within and as my word relationships here, where I in fact am at ease with my word and world relationships here, where I mean no offense or defense.  I commit myself to the process of settling the terms of negotiation within myself as the vocabulary that exists within myself as a form of energetic dissonance.  I realize and understand the process of self-transformation as the self-direction of my existence within and as energetic information, to that of physical sound substance here as the physical universe here.  I realize, understand, and know the process of status correction here to be a labored physical process of nurturing myself back together again, from disharmony and disease to harmony here as the sound of music at ease.  I realize the substance of self-expression here is in fact our sound.  I commit myself to birthing myself as sound/life here.

Day 741 - When The Going Gets Tough – The Moment You're Tired

When The Going Gets Tough – The Moment You're Tired

So I am Here in this moment pushing myself to share a bit of myself here in further establishing a new consistency in writing my blogs. I have been looking at the dedication and determination within and as the Self-responsibility to actually walk appoint as the Self-Authority on making what happens Best…Best as in for myself and all others as myself here.

The point is clear here…that sharing is caring through writing antidotes of support as words that assist myself and others as myself. Therefore I see it is paramount that I push myself to make this writing happen on a daily basis.

I looked at the point of time practicality and that somebody's will be much more of a squeeze than other days. This is the nature of learning how to juggle the effectiveness of time management. I mean things wouldn’t bee challenging ever at times if there wasn’t any resistance to walk through.

This evening for instance am I quite tired and would like to get to sleep earlier than is usual. This is somewhat of a consequence of my previous day time management where I stayed on later than expected and had to get up quite early…and I had a full day of activity today. This here is like a point of parenting in a way….I mean if you have a child and the child needs attention and you are tired or were sleeping and the child is calling for you…..you may want to go to sleep but the self-authority point of self-responsibility as that which is always best is to tend to the child in the best practical ways.

I see myself as taking on the parental guidance of my own individual application. I mean I am an adult…yet I see and recognize the child within me as like I am an adult child in a way…as I very much am still intact within and as the playfulness that is a child. I see that we are all children in a way…where even though we grow old…there is still a childish nature about ourselves. This I see here where the harmony is key in and as the balance of self seriousness and self playfulness.

I am quite enjoying myself here as I flow out words a like a fountain of support that is me here taking step by step word by word to substantiate the strength of my character here in ways that are Best for myself and Everyone as myself here.

This writing here today is the push …as like I was facing the pull of the tiredness energy within myself and all the excuses were coming into my mind as like I need to go to sleep now…there’s not enough time for me to write today…I’ll just write double tomorrow as a way to make up for today….these points of immediate thoughts coming up within myself as a solution of sorts that I wasn’t even really looking for are a disguise and a veil of sorts….a trap …an entrapment…where it’s like subtle suggestions in a way to submit to less than the potential I am to stick to the dedication and determination that I am to write myself Here.

I see realize and understand how to push myself through a pull experience in the mind when and as the going gets tough and the mind wants a shutdown experience of suppression as like the overwhelming experience of tiredness where one can easily justify the death of self in a moment…where it’s like believed to be logically rational that one just physically can’t go on any further. I mean here is the self-honesty…this is the equation ….the solution….the Solution as what is best in fact…and here the support I utlize in the moment is the questions as point of assisted and supported guided direction as my moral compass if you will where I see if and as I am in fact capable and able to do more than what my mind as my internal gps system is suggesting for me as the direction for my Life.

I realize and understand that my potential ability and capability exists beyond what comes up in my mind. It is not to say that I can not have a cool supportive thought…or that all thoughts cannot be supportive in one way or another….the point I am emphasizing is the self-honesty within and as the assessment of moment management as the recognition of what is in fact my potential ability in this very moment as Me Here the standing epitome of and as Self-Responsibility.

I am noticing that great questions for myself are somewhat rhetorical as like a question and an exclamation because I see here within and as this regard…that I am so much more than what I have ever believed that I am…and this is fascinating because I am beginning to recognize myself Authority as the writer/player/director that has so many solutions in any given moment as always all ways…and there is a lot of good ways/routes of assistance and support to aid in myself pushing myself as the resistance strength training where I prove to myself that I am in fact here as Substantial Endurance and Stamina and that physical ability far exceeds my thoughts and that I am just learning to get comfortable with the recognition that I am capable of more than I ever thought was possible for myself and all Life as myself here.

Life is remarkable as we are the writers that make the marks as how we exclaim ourselves to be so as the sewing things so as to how to have sown in the best possible ways the assistance and support that is substantially great to aid in the best development of Ourselves…our cells and the whole body of everyone here as to make the self-honest contribution to Life as the realization recognition and understanding of what it means for expression to exist as “I live to Give” At Your service as the best service to myself is the best service to You…as You is me in another Life and I am You in and as this Life.” Together we are both Here. Alone Here and All One together Individuals put together to share as the “I am Here to Give to Life as I am Life.”

To Be Continued J

Day 652 The Art of Communication

Effective communication is like a communion of action where there is a coming together in and as an agreement. What I find fascinating about this is the very fact that this is based on comprehension of what is being said/articulated. Meaning, there can be many different points of view and perspectives within and as the communication between people...and that is actually quite cool...in fact, this is a point of sharing in and as the expansion of self-development here...where our world expands in and as the seeing of a new perspective about a point. And from this perspective here...the communication is not a battle/argument/conflict....it is an exchange of information from the starting point that sharing is caring...and sharing and caring are fucking awesome.

It's interesting to see how there is difficulty in communication when one or more parties involved in communication take some sort of offense to specific information that is shared...like, a reaction to the information is usually in the form of offense/defense...where the information is essentially not comprehended and processed effectively within one's mind....which creates a disharmony of sorts....which results in a temporary misalignment within the potential harmony and rhythm of the sharing exchange and transference of information.

What is so fascinating about communication is our movement. Whether it be verbal or non-verbal.

It has become self-evident to me that when a point is not comprehended effectively there is a reaction which results in a particular energetic movement within the body....and, this movement can be verbal or non-verbal. In becoming acutely aware of these energetic movements within self and therefore others here, one can stand within and as the self-responsibility of directing any and every disharmony that occurs within the sharing of information.

What is fascinating about taking self-responsibility, is that we in fact enable our ability to respond/communicate effectively. Ironically, without gifting and giving ourself the responsibility to self-correct and remove points of dissonance/disharmony as moments of energetic reaction,...One's ability to hear and be heard here is suppressed....which is a most unfortunate mind fuck, a tragic comedy really, because, ineffective communication is a mistake and contamination in and as one's own relationship with words/Self here.

I have noticed that within one's immediate family....there can be much disharmony in communication...because there is so much emotion and feeling related to one another....which makes the energetic reactions in and as voice tonality greater/stronger...because the charges against oneself are so much more extreme and there has been such a build of emotion and feeling within the memories of each family member....that one is often much more easily triggered when another family member speaks to them. I heard something said along the lines of, "end war in the family....and there will be no war in the world" This is a fascinating exposure here because essentially the war that exists externally throughout the World is a total mirror and self-reflection of the war of words that exist within ourselves here. So, as we take responsibility for our words and actions here, we take responsibility in remediating the war/conflicts that exist here....because the wars and conflicts that exist are in fact nothing more than a consequential outflow of improper comprehension of vocabulary.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting in moments of communication as a point of impatience...in not wanting to really shut up and listen and receive what is being shared with me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being self-righteous within communication from and as the perspective of not wanting to take the time to listen and actually process and comprehend what is being shared with me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying moments of blame within communication as a result of validating the use of judgement as a self-defense mechanism to super impose the position of blame. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how communication is in fact a simple point of sharing and that communication only becomes difficult when one decided within one's mind that they do not want to be patient and self-responsible within giving and receiving as what is best for Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the art of communication.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for investing emotions and feeling about particular words/things/people/places/behaviors and actions to such an extent that I feared letting go of the emotion/feeling/investment/relationship I created.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for disregarding my verbal and non verbal communication.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be lazy within my communication.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for disregarding my sounds within sharing my sounds here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how a contaminated vocabulary results in and as the suppression of particular self-expressions here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to hear/listen to myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take offense and defense in relationship to seeing and hearing what is here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to battle myself within and as the suppression of my sound here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compromise and suppress my sound/movement/expression/beingness here within and as a result of participating within energetic reactions.

I see, realize and understand how energetic reactions are less than who I really am as Life.

I see, realize and understand how energetic reactions are the suppression of life substance here.

I see, realize and understand how to stop suppressing myself here.

I see, realize and understand how to direct/self-correct reactions/disharmony here.

I see, realize and understand the importance of self-responsibility within and as communication here.

I see, realize and understand how to communicate effectively.

I see, realize and understand the art of communication.

I see, realize and understand the 'art of communication' to be a point of self-movement/self-expression here as how we play.


I commit myself to playing,

I commit myself to assisting and supporting myself and others to make the best plays and be the best players here.

I commit myself to practically living awesomeness within and as communication.

I commit myself to sound communication as the self-realization that who I am as sound is beyond the self-imposed limitations of energetic reactions as emotion and feeling.

I commit myself to sharing my sounds/words/movements in ways that are best for all Life here.

I commit myself to living and applying the 'art of communication' as who and how I am here as the starting point of self-responsibility and self-awareness that always exists here beyond consciousness.

Day 631 Moral Dilemma

So, I've noticed how sometimes I have over committed myself within the words I have spoken. Where for example I make a statement about something or say that I will or will not be participating in a particular activity. Within looking at this point, I've come to see how in some particular instances...my initial wording statements about something or my commitment towards participation or non-participation within a point have been in vain from and as the perspective that my starting point was based within and as a reactionary nature/energy. Meaning, my words in relationship to the particular point in question carried a polarized energetic charge, as a reflection of the cognitive dissonance towards the point in question.

OK, So, This has been somewhat problematic for me, because the resulting consequence of such a scenario playing out...is that I am faced with the truth of myself here as like why I initially reacted to the point in question, and who/how I am in relationship to the point in question. What's interesting here is that sometimes, seemingly very automatically, I would perpetuate this discomfort and experience within myself of feeling like I am stuck, and not knowing what to do...as like a so called moral dilemma, because my initial Wording was out of alignment from and as a starting point rooted in Equality and Oneness. Which therefore results in the morality dilemma play out of "Damned if I do" and "Damned if don't."

This whole "damned if I do...and damned if I don't" scenario is very peculiar, because there is a point of deliberate neglect within it. The truth of the matter and root cause as to "why" this moral dilemma developed in the first place, Requires Self-Reflection and Self-Correction in order to purify the Equality and Oneness of my Character Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the problems I am creating for myself when and as I answer a question from and as a starting point of energetic reaction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to take the time to labor the changes required in free myself from the bondage of the world holds I have placed upon myself without realizing and understanding how I was in fact suppressing the nature of my self-expression within and as the moment of Initial Reaction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how the Wording of myself here from moment to moment shapes my status standing acceptances and allowances here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to tangle myself up within and as a web or words with various energetic relationship triggers that act as particular limitations/suppression and rules/laws of who/how and why I behave the way that I do within a particular moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how the truth of myself-expression is buried within and as the moments where I speak words from and as a starting point of being energetically triggered.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the simplicity in living I create for myself, when and as I commit myself to self-investigating every reaction that comes up within myself...and from here, making the commitment to stop the perpetuating playout of reactionary energy within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing the importance of stopping myself from communicating from a starting point of fear/reaction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent to which fear exists within communication...as like this unconscious energy play out that mostly goes unnoticed and disregarded most of the time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the simplicity in sorting out a problematic situation as a "moral dilemma"...where there is an experience of "damned if I do and damned if I don't"

When and as I see myself Speaking from a starting point of reaction, as like having something to hide...fearing to lose, I stop and breathe, I see/realize/understand that I am here and that I do not wish to perpetuate the mind fuck that encompasses continuously perpetuating energetic reactionary participations. I see/realize/understand the absurd ridiculousness of trying to hide from the fear that exists within and as a point of energetic reaction. I see/realize/understand the irony that exists within reaction as a point of fear. I commit myself to taking self-responsibility for my reactions/fears immediately and steadfastly by realizing and understanding how I am in fact able to practically adjust my course of actions in the moment as I see/realize and understand my potential abilities to express myself here in the moment free from the debt of fear/cognitive dissonance.

When and as I see myself cycling within my mind about what to do...as like experiencing myself as stuck within a point, I stop and breathe...I see/realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of the situation as I commit myself to taking the time to really slow myself down with my breathing...and daring myself to look at what I have resisted looking at that is causing me conflict/indecision as like a stuckness in knowing what to do. I commit myself to self-directing myself from situations/moments of stuckness by facing the ugly truth of the matter as the self-suppression that exists within myself.