So the point came up within my dream this morning where I was faced with seeing an individual who I knew who was causing havoc for another individual that I knew. The individual who was bothered by the havoc beingcaused was trying to discourage and scare the being into stopping to participate in their actions of havoc.
An opportunity presented itself where I could confront the being who was somewhat possessed in causing havoc without the other individual being aware that I was confronting the being who was causing havoc. It's interesting that I wanted to confront the being causing havoc without the other individual realizing this. A point came up where I didn't want either individual to know that I knew both of them.
When I confronted the being who had been causing havoc for the other being...I approached the being in such a way where the being did not know that I knew what had been transpiring previously. Also the point came up where I resisted being totally straight up with the being, as like I didn't want to offend the being...but just wanted to present myself as a nice guy that he knows...and in a way just kind of distract him from his previous course of actions. Interesting though that within doing this...the being directed his attention towards another point of abuse...though arguing a lesser self-inflicting form of abuse...and I kind of side stepped around tackling that issue head on from the perspective...that I just kind of moved the conversation along without really acknowledging the point of fuckedness/abuse. The situation/conversation was over rather quickly and I was asking myself afterwards, like what the fuck?...Why did I side step some issues here? The short answer is Fear. Fear of uncertainty within another's reactions...fearing the reactions of another...minimizing the possibility that I would really be required to stand in stability and direct the situation.
I see here how this reflects myself not having the courage to full out face myself in every moment. This is unacceptable behaviour.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be controlled by fear.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing losing face with individuals who have conflicting relationships.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being two faced.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have allowed havoc to exist within myself as a result of mulling over points of fear that exist within me with regards to speakingdirectly and frankly with others in every moment of my communication.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for deliberately glossing over issues/points that require my perspective/assistance/support that I fear standing alone within.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to stand alone within and as my stance in every moment here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for always trying to keep the peace with particular individuals I have a casual relationship with.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to bring forth any intimacy within casual relationship acquaintances.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to make known my various relationship connections to various beings within my reality.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing secret relationships to exist within me as a result of judging the various individuals that I am in relationships with.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing how I have lacked the commitment in the depth of the relationship to myself as a result of fearing to address any particular issues that come up within conversation with another being.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being very sensitive to criticism/reactions/defensive comments.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take personally defensive comments/criticisms/reactions.
I forgive myself for not realizing how I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse myself within offending myself by holding onto a negative energetic charge in relationship to points of self-judgement as comments/criticisms/reactions.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to come across as offensive and attacking another being's character persona within being direct and and speaking frankly within communication.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how offensive I have been treating myself within the acceptance and allowance of fearing to come across as offensive. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have been attacking myself within being fearfully defensive/offensive within comments/criticisms/reactions.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for trying to ignore comments/criticisms/defensive/offensive behaviours.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how ridiculously absurd I have existed within communication as a result of accepting and allowing the polarity of offense and defense to exist.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for existing as the justification of fear character within excusing self-responsibility in releasing/self-correcting all polarity relationships that exist within myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as the nice guy character construct as coping mechanism and as an avoidance for facing the fear/conflict/friction that exists within myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing fear/conflict/friction to exist within myself as a result of resisting to take self-responsibility for the fear/conflict/friction that I see and realize exists within myself. I realize and understand myself responsibility in directing these situations through self corrective measures. When and as I see myself faced with a point of fear/conflict/friction, I stop and breathe, I direct myself to transcending the point in the moment by facing the point head on within and as the stability of my self-trust here. I realize and understand that I am capable and able to walk through and transcend any point of fear/conflict/friction that exists within myself as I have already proven this to myself countless times. I realize and understand the structured systemic way in which I can practically self-correct myself and transcend any and all points of fear. I commit myself to using a practical living systemic approach in transcending every point of fear/conflict/friction that I am faced with seeing within a moment.
I commit myself to continue to utilize my dreams as a point of assistance and support in accelerating my application within and as the journey to Life.
I commit myself to making the most out of the opportunities I am presented with here within and as I walk the journey to Life.
I commit myself to sharing myself without fear within communication.
I commit myself to self-integrity and self-compassion and self-regard, and self-dignity within communication.
I commit myself to stop coping with my existence here.
I commit myself to stand within and as the stability and the directive principle of Oneness and Equality as I walk my process Journey to Life.
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