Day 557 Violent Reflection

In dreams I've had recently just before I woke up I could see that I was instigating/perpetuating violence. Like there was this anger in me that acted as like the reasoned excuse and justification for violence as a necessary measure of retribution. Like the belief existing in me that it's all about pay back...and pay back is a nasty bitch. The specific details of the dreams both times are a bit fuzzy...but what stands out is that after I woke up I was faced with looking and seeing how there is anger and violence being accepted and allowed within myself. This is not cool. I mean a little bit I was kind of like what the fuck. Obviously within regarding myself in everythinghere that means I am within the violence and abuse that exists here. This is the uncool stuff to regard and face within self-honesty...because no one wants to regard and consider themselves responsible for the most brutal nasty atrocious acts imaginable. Interesting to look and see that collectively within our minds we are guilty of the play out that exists here as our global reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my for believing violence to be a justifiable means of retribution and restitution.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for supporting violence as a fear protection mechanism as like kill or be killed.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for logically reasoning the justification and perpetuation of violence as a necessary action.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing violence to be a practical living solution as a way to solve problems.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing murdering people to be an acceptable way of solving problems.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having had violent thoughts of retribution.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having participated in violent disputes with family members.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for validating and justifying violence as a logical reactionary response to being angry.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having suppressed the shame of holding onto any anger towards another being.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for punishing myself and others with anger.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting mercy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having regarded and believed mercy to be a sign of weakness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being self-righteous within regarding violence as an answer and solution.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having backchatted within movies and shows about wanting the villain to be killed by the good guy hero.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to support energetically charged polarity based characters as the spectrum of emotions and feelings. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have perpetuated character conflict within myself as a result of choosing to fight and be angry.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding what it means to exist within a wholesome anger as that which does not consume oneself within and as energetic possession.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having wanted to bring up the point of violence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent to which I must take self-responsibility for every point of battle/conflict/war that exists within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having desired to derive power through engaging and inciting conflict that perpetuates and encourages myself existing within anger reactions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the violence I have caused to my physical body as a result of accepting and allowing myself to harbor energetic angered judgement towards myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the totality of what it means to look at and investigate myself here in all ways that are best for Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for spiting myself within abusing myself within anger.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring to stimulate myself with anger.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being addicted to anger triggers.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for bullying myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the shame within and as self-victimization.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have inflicted physical violence upon myself within not realizing and understanding the effects of reactions as energetic acceptancesand allowances.

When and as I see myself being triggered with anger,I stop and breathe, I face the point of anger within investigating the trigger and I realize and understand the opportunity here for me to learn from my mistake and self-correct my programming as a practical living solution to insure the prevention of perpetuating the energetic charge of anger within myself in the future.

When and as I see myself validating/justifying/desiring the play out of violence, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand the ridiculously absurd abuse in justifying the perpetuation of violence.

When and as I see myself desiring retribution, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand the shame within logically reasoning the use of violence as an effective programming/remediation/rehabilitation program.

I commit myself to stop all violence from existing within myself.

I commit myself to share the absurd ridiculousness of violence onto one another as reasoned and justifiable outlet for energetic fits of anger/rage.

I commit myself stopping all energetic anger in relationships.

I commit myself to only accepting and allowing a wholesome anger to exist within me as the word anger as like a point of motivation within seeing and realizing my shame here...which is like a cold reminder and support platform for walking change for real that can stand here eternally as what is best for all Life.

I commit myself to self-correct every single point of energetic anger that exists within myself.

I commit myself to prevent the justification of violence within myself.

I commit myself to facing all my mistakes that are disgustingly shameful.

I commit myself to utilizing self-reflection here.