Day 565 Decision to Self-Investigate Self-Interest

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having polarized ideas about 'self-interest'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having feared to meticulously examine/investigate my self-defined self-interests.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for associating 'self-interests' with individuality and self-expression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a cognitive dissonance to exist in relationship to the word 'self'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how my perception is skewed and distorted within the belief and acceptances and allowances of different individual self-interests.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having a hard time to see a collective self-interest here...as like this One Life Here in which we are all a part of.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being defensive in wanting to protect and defend and keep myself occupied within my individual character persona defined self-interests.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to keep investigating the question what will I do and how will I exist if I let go of my individual self-interest.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for connecting individual self-interests to my personal entertainment/desired stimulation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being addicted to my established preferred forms of personal entertainment/desired stimulation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to see how I can expand my potential influence here within our shared physical reality by letting go of personal entertainment/desired stimulation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for connecting my personal satisfaction and happiness to be dependent upon having the ability to exercise at my leisure the various forms of personal entertainment/desired stimulation that I have a my disposal. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for choosing to resist seeing that if I let go of the illusion/veil of ignorance that I myself am separate from all Life here...that I can begin to recreate myself here within and as the understanding of myself as Life as Equality and Oneness and therefore I would move out of the arena of free choice and the ability to choose to focus my attention on gratifying particular preferred methods of stimulation/entertainment. I realize and understand the point of personal self-responsibility that exist within myself to stand in and as support for all Life here. I realize and understand focusing my attention on having particular desired experiences doesn't really take into account my personal self-responsibility to all Life here. I realize and understand it is extremely selfish for me to focus my the starting point of my Life on the individual pursuit of having as many positive stimulating experiences as possible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for associating the relationship with self-interest to be based upon generated particular positive energetically stimulated experiences within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for choosing to be numb within the desire to be stimulated constantly with a positive energetic charge.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for disregarding the consequences of focusing my attention upon indulging within my individual defined self-interests based upon the point of stimulating me in a positive manner of enjoyment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be controlled and regulated by positive energetic stimulation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have built up a dependency upon existing within the focal point of having my particularly preferred forms of external stimulation as to induce my personal experience of comfort and relaxation without regard for the consequences of my participations because the positive feeling experience I illicit within my indulgences dehydrates me and makes me thirsty for more in like a never ending pursuit of trying to quench my thirst/appetite within my addiction to positive energetic stimulation that perpetuates the pattern of self-destruction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being reluctant to see how I can in fact step out of the behaviour patterned program of self-destruction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how my individual pursuit of self-interested indulgences/entertainment has perpetuated the behaviour patterned program of self-destruction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to lose the individual pursuit of desired forms of stimulation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have perpetuated the pursuit of desired stimulation through and as the fear of loss...as like the fearing to miss out on a particular opportunity. I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding the irony within the fear of loss...as like the loss that is accelerated indefinitely through the perpetuation and and starting point roots of fearing to loss. I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding how I have programmed myself to lose as a result of being/becoming the very embodiment of what I fear. I realize and understand my abilities and capabilities to reverse engineer the win/loss relationship which is rooted in and as the fear of loss...to a relationship agreement rooted in and as win/win relationship of life and death...where Life and death no more have to be polarized within and as a win and a loss. I realize and understand the fear of death as like the ultimate loss is ridiculously absurd.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that I can become lost within death.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having feared death.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for regarding death as the ultimate loss.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a polarized relationship association with Life and Death. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for regarding Life as positive and Death as Negative.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I programmed a veil of ignorance within my perception within the belief conditioning that death is bad and Life is good. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for polarizing existence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how self-interest is less than what is the best interests of all Life here when and as one exist within the mind frame of polarity based energetic relationship associations with a spectrum of judgement of Life value. I realize and understand the disharmony that is created within and as the result of existing within a skewed value scale of personalized self-interest were some aspects of Life are given VIP status and some aspects of Life are regarded with a diminished less than value. I realize and understand the insanity of disregarding the Equality and Oneness of All Life Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to investigate the self-defined values I have given to the various points of self-interest that exist within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the shame in neglecting to take self-responsibility for the skewed energetic valued relationships I have accepted and allowed to remain hidden from self-responsibility and self-accountability within and as the process of purifying my being here as Equal and One with All Life Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to stop fearing myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having become dependent upon stimulating an energetic experience through the perpetually accepted and allowed fear/conflict/friction that exists within myself as a result of choosing to be polarized within indecision.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing the change that is possible within myself as a result of dropping my focus attention of pursuits of individual pursuits of self-interest to practical living solutions that are best for all Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for subscribing to the belief and idea that what is best for all Life is me pursuing my individual desires.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting to see the consequence that exists within the designed nature of our shared reality as a resulting pursuit of self-interested desires at the expense of another losing their self-interested desires because of the polarized relationship of one winning at the expense of another losing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having been apathetic to the co-existence of all Life here within and as the perfect harmony of individual self-expression as what is best for all Life here because within and as the consideration of what is best for all Life here, each individual benefits and prospers exponentially because of the massive compounding interest of sharing the same valuation of Life as being of the highest/greatest value.