important shit

Monday, 27 January 2014

Day 573 Process of Change




I've been looking at the point of change. Specifically making new goals/patterns/habits/routines/commitments and within this seeing how to be most effective/efficient in implementing these changes.

What I've noticed and realized is that big results and drastic change is the accumulation of a series of many very small steps.

I've noticed and realized how my success or failure within a point of change is specifically the result of my very small steps.

What's interesting to see here within and as the process of change is how steps can also be referred to as calculations or acceptances and allowances.

Each step/calculation/acceptance and allowance happens within a moment.

What I've come to realize and understand is how simple it is to re-align/self-correct myself when I lose my balance as a result of a miscalculated step.

What's interesting here is to see the equality within how easily we can support ourselves in a moment...or how easily we can fuck with ourselves in a moment....because the basic mathematics always applies as the accumulation effect/factor.

What I've found difficult about stopping a pattern/habit and creating a new pattern/habit is looking for the change to happen automatically within myself without any real self-directed effort/commitment and or challenge...like for instance making a plan...and just kind of expecting that my thoughts will walk me through the change...as like telling my body what to do in every moment.

What's interesting about this...is that I am faced with the particular thoughts/feelings/emotions that are linked/formed within myself as the accumulation that has been accepted and allowed within myself with regards to my oldpatterns/habits.

What's interesting to see here is that in order to effectively integrate a new pattern/habit/routine/change, I require a series of new steps and this series of new steps requires repeated repetition in/as order to/so be effectively integrated within myself.

What's interesting about this is that by questioning my every step within developing myself I can practically see and realize the effectiveness of each step. Within this, I can play with a series of steps/movements and within doing this I can establish rhythm and tempo and build upon my application.

What's interesting about this is that I am my own science experiment and I determine the science experiment.

What's interesting about this is that the science is all ways awe-so-me. Here is where things get interesting...because I am the starting point of determining my awesomeness in application. By realizing and understanding that anything that I do that is not cool/awesome is a misstep/miscalculation where I then forgive myself for accepting and allowing a point of less than awesomeness/cool to exist within myself. 

What's interesting about the process of change is that the more specific I get with my questioning of myself here, the more I enable myself to expand my practical living application of awesomeness/cool as that which is best for all Life

What's interesting about this is that by constantly and consistently being on the quest of question specificity within and as process of self-perfection in and as the science of awesome/cool practical living applications...it is clear here to see/hear and realize what the answers/solutions are as the ways to effectively and efficiently correct my momentary missteps/trips/falls/stumbles/bails.

It's interesting how within the realization and understanding that the question is one and equal with the answer/solution...and that we are here as the starting point of it...that it is really only a dare to care...a dare to see what is already here...which is fascinating because what's blocked me from seeing and realizing what is here is that I've been too damn scared.

And what is interesting about being scared...is that to really question the fears around why I could be so damn scared is to in fact see the scars that are burned into my memory as various emotional energetic traumas that burned me so bad I've created a self-automated defense system to circumvent any possible chance that I would have to face such a point again. 

What is interesting about such a scenario is that by being scared it's like I'm choosing to inject myself with a poison as the needed justification to prevent myself from getting poisoned again...which is really quite the tragic comedy if you will see the irony here in its profoundness of what I resist will persist because I am persistently enabling the resistance as the self-automated defense system to circumvent any possible chance that I would have to face the point again...and so it's not like I am facing the point again as a new time...but constantly keeping alive the old traumatic history of the past continuously repeating a predictable future again and again and again and thus making the change/self-correction to the future next to impossible because of the extensive nature of my self-automated defense systems as the ridiculously absurd rationality of placing an obstacle in front of myself as the means necessary to avoid facing an obstacle.

To see the ridiculous absurdity of perpetuating self-harm out of fear of being self-harmed...is to see our self-responsibility and self-accountability to stop harming our-self here.

The truth hurts when you step out of the lie, so embrace the pain and realize and understand the weakness of character is leaving the body as we build and strengthen our character as the image and likeness of that which is always best for all Life here. Awesomeness Cool.

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