Day 406 Teacher

Day 406 Teacher

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for disregarding the responsibility and the importance of the role of a world teacher.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have doubted my worthiness and discipline to actually walking the committed process of taking all necessary steps in making myself available as a world teacher here to assist and support the betterment of humanity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the consequences within not taking the responsibility of becoming a world teacher serious…as like realising the opportunity to give as I would like to receive…as like making a point of doing this because I see that I am capable and able to, and I know I have the potential to be a really great world Teacher.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to help myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to help others help them self within sharing self-realisations and practical applications of assistance and support as like things I have learned and corrected…and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to be challenged about what it is I know and realise.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for seriously disliking to be challenged.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for taking challenges personally as like being emotionally sensitive to challenges as like seeing challenges as like a form of arguing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being paranoid about people arguing with me and wanting to argue with me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting frustrated with requiring to be very patient within teaching as like I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for placing expectations within learning…as like expecting there to be a certain level of expediency within and as a point I am educating others about/assisting and supporting the implementation of.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting angry, frustrated and disappointed with myself and others when a point of self-realisation is taking more time than I would like it to take.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting displeased with the time that it takes to sort things out as like the time it takes to process understanding as like the time it takes me to learn and comprehend things. I realise and understand that I can expediate process of learning and understanding within stopping all judgement as judgement is a form of mental fear as like a mental barrier that inhibits quantum realisation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring instantaneous results…and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take it personally about the time it takes for me to process points of understanding/self-realisation here as like specific points of individual processing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for taking offense and getting bothered by people challenging my intellect as like my smarts…as like challenging me within and a  way of testing my comprehension and understanding of points of self-realisation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become bothered when I am sharing a self-realisation and people are looking to find some other authority over the information as like being in disbelief and trying to discredit the validity of me being the source of a self-realisation of knowledge and information as like not seeing me/themselves defined as like an authority of facts.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not accepting myself as an authority of facts as like realising myself as the source code of self-realisation…as like its within understanding my past acceptances and allowances that I am able to foster change and re-script myself in ways that are best for Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being defensive when I am feeling challenged by others who are testing/challenging and attempting to discredit myself as an authority of information as what’s best for Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the point of World Teachers as like authorities of knowledge and information as what is best for Life as like the real facts of existence…living words of sharing assistance and support….the truth of matters.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having been paranoid about peer review as like getting feedback and support of my peers as like fearing myself as not good enough to collaborate and work with my peers and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having feared to really accept myself.  I realise and understand the absurd ridiculousness of suppressing self-acceptance.

When and as I see myself being resistant towards peer review, I stop and breathe and I realise and understand the practical living assistance and support within and as peer review.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having created justifications and reasons and excuses as like ways to avoid self-acceptance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being paranoid about self-acceptance…as like fearing to really love myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being embarrassed with the absurd ridiculousness as like having been paranoid about accepting myself and qualifying myself as worthy to participate within group activities and be an equal party within and as group participation's such as peer review.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having been nasty to so many of my peers over the years behind their backs…as like realising and understanding how I created, justified and validated the fear of peer review within myself as like fearing the wrath of my own accepted and allowed judgement existing within others…as like knowing and understanding the nastiness I have spoken and felt so strongly about others…as like a hateful disgust.

When and as I see myself reacting to peoples reaction within sharing a self-realisation/sharing some facts, I stop and breathe as I realise and understand the process of self-realisation as a process and that each person is within and that judging any point within process is ridiculous absurdity as like wow, taking anything personally is such a mind fuck.

I see specific points of further investigation here with regards to paranoia of peer review/evaluation…and relating and pertaining to specific memories about myself holding strong criticisms and judgments about my fellow teammates while playing hockey as a youngster….as like having formed dislikes or likes based upon teammates abilities and therefore placing discrepancies within and as equality and oneness together as like everyone having equal and one Life value….

To be continued….