My tree planting contract I was working just finished and I
was saying goodbye to some of my peers and while this was occurring I was also
introducing myself to some people I failed to take the time within the work
season to get to know. I see that I missed some opportunities here to share
with others. I see that I had put up a
blockade of resistance towards social interactions that would occur around or
during the consumption of drugs and alcohol. The point dawned upon me this morning
that I actually feared interacting…standing alone facing many people using
drugs and alcohol.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for
having feared spending my time off from work socializing with people whose
priority was to party as a means of getting drunk with alcohol and high with
various drugs.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for
having feared placing myself as a visible example for those focused on getting
drunk and high.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for
having feared confrontation with people consuming lots of drugs and alcohol.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for
having been paranoid about confrontation about the use of drugs and alcohol.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have
resisted facing my past in all ways by seeing myself and taking the time to
socialise with my co-workers who were using drugs and alcohol.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for
having creating righteous justified reasoning as why to not give any attention
to the people who were regularly consuming drugs and alcohol after work and on
our days off from work.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising
and understanding myself as a capable teacher for people using drugs and
alcohol as I can relate to and identify with people using drugs and alcohol
recreationally as a means to having a good time. I realise and understand that drugs and
alcohol are not the foundation of having a good time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for
having resisted taking the time to really make an effort to plant seeds of
support within all the people who were regular consumers of drugs and alcohol
within my work environment
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for
having been extremely righteous within a superiority hierarchy construct in
regards to my peers who use drugs and alcohol…and I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself for separating myself from all the beings who
were using drugs and alcohol and thinking of myself as like better and more
evolved then these people…and like not worthy of my time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for
having judged myself as being righteous towards coworkers who were interested
in partying as like drinking alcohol and doing drugs from the perspective of
feeling guilty and ashamed for having not made more of an effort to spend time
with these co-workers.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for
having held onto judgement of my actions this summer. I realise and understand
the absurd ridiculousness of holding onto judgement about my actions…as like I
realise wow that’s not cool and is in fact pointless. When and as I see myself
holding onto points of judgement, I stop and breathe and I realise I don’t need
to create this extra baggage within myself…and that letting go of all judgement
is the way to go…as it is a key to self-enjoyment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for
lacking compassion, sympathy and patience for the people who are taking drugs
and alcohol as a way to have a good time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself from
being angry and disappointed and sad with myself for having spent many years
focused on socializing within the starting point of consuming drugs and
alcohol.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself of having
difficulty seeing myself within points I am not proud of.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being
ashamed and embarrassed of how I use to be so proud about drug and alcohol
consumption.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for
having been paranoid about hanging out within a group of people where I am the
only person not drinking or doing drugs.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel
uncomfortable hanging out within a group/surrounded by people consuming drugs
and alcohol…where I am the only person who Is not consuming drugs and alcohol.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for
having used drugs and alcohol as a means of enjoying myself and feeling more
comfortable within social interaction situations.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not
wanting to participate in social interaction situations where I am sober and
everyone else is intoxicated.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for
having made such a big deal about the use of drugs and alcohol…as like having
really feared facing myself within these environments.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for
having extensively judged myself for choosing not to spend my free time
socialising with people who are indulging in drugs and alcohol for the purpose
of getting fucked up, wasted, high as like the means for having a good time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for
having very much regretted not spending more time with people who were
indulding themselves in drugs and alcohol.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for
having judged myself as wrong as like having made the wrong decisions within
having chosen to not spend my time interacting with co-workers who are focused
on getting drunk and high.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for
feeling guilty that I didn’t do enough to help my peers who were regularly
consuming drugs and alcohol.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for
having guilt tripped myself within responsibility for assisting and supporting
people who are abusing drugs and alcohol as like thinking it’s my duty to save
them as like helping them help themselves.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for
doubting the impact I made upon others by taking a stance to deliberately not
spend my time with people who want to party with drugs and alcohol.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not
realising and understanding the impact as like the support I gave myself within
not being influenced by peer pressure to participate and or feeling compelled
to hang out and passively support the use of drugs and alcohol by choosing to
spend my time in an environment where drugs and alcohol are being consumed and
encouraged.
I realise I cannot hide from drug and alcohol consumption.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide
from seeing others indulge within the consumption of drugs and alcohol.
When and as I see myself deliberately hiding and or avoiding
interaction with people because of the presents of drugs and alcohol, I stop
and breathe…and I realise the absurd ridiculousness of fearing drugs and
alcohol.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not
realising and understanding myself as having feared relapsing into alcohol and
drug participation's if I was constantly surrounded by people indulging in such
activities….and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself
for thinking that it is easier for me to not be interested in doing drugs and
alcohol if I am not surrounded by it.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for
having made such a big deal within myself about drugs and alcohol…that like
drugs and alcohol define who I am as like the definition of who I am is in
relation to drugs and alcohol….and within this I forgive myself for accepting
and allowing myself for having made drugs and alcohol a focal point within my
life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not
realising and understanding how I flip flopped from being pro drugs and alcohol
to anti-drugs and alcohol…as like just tweaking my personality character within
the positive and negative energy associations with regards to drugs and
alcohol.
When and as I see myself reacting to seeing people having alcohol
and or drugs, I stop and breathe and I realise and understand how everything is
a tool here to assist and support in the process of Equality and Oneness.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not
realising and understanding the fears rooted within myself with regards to drug
and alcohol as a result of having
accepted either positive and or negative energetic charges about the word…as
like accepting and allowing the words to be in friction as contradiction to
equality and oneness. I realise and understand the absurd ridiculousness of
accepting and allowing opposition to exist within word relations as like
polarized energies of either positive or negative. I realise how impossible it is to life a
satisfying and fulfilling Life within accepting and allowing words to be
polarized within opposing energies. I realise and understand the importance of
purifying my vocabulary as equality and oneness as like to give myself the
building blocks of Life…so as to enable myself as the author and builder of
creation from and as a point of eternal life as like without opposition…as like
having realized and understood the absurd ridiculousness of creating conflict
as a split between myself as like fragmenting myself into pieces….instead of
existing as all one together, interconnected, self-realized as oneness and
equality as the Law of my being here as Life.
When and as I see myself taking offense to people drinking
and or doing drugs, I stop and breathe…I realise the absurd ridiculousness of
taking things personally, I realise and understand that each being is within
their individual process of self-realisation, I realise and understand that
everything here is a tool of assistance and support to facilitate the process
of self-realisation as equality and oneness, I realise being offended by people
drinking reflects a point within me about drinking where there is judgement. I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project judgment about
drinking alcohol.
Alcohol...like all is cool when you drink alcohol....like drinking spirits to be in high spirits...the more spirits you drink the higher your spirit and attitude of good feeling. A social lubricant to enhance feeling/sensation of interconnectedness. A chemical depressant. Complex sugars. A raw energy drink.
Drugs...like doctor suggestions...temporary placement of particular conditions/symptoms under the rug...a masking agent...like codes for the mind....a brain scrambler...a mind enhancement....like steroids for the mind...doors of perceptions...medicine...a rabbit hole....temporary relief....mind reflectors....body numbers....uppers/downers and everything in betweeners....extra channels to tune into...experience pills....happiness pills...money making profits....mind fuck....
No comments:
Post a Comment