Day 396 Work Talk

Day 396 Work Talk

Recently, I've been sluggish getting into a groove at work…as like being very effective within the work I’m doing…specifically in tree planting…as that’s been the work I've been participating within.

There’s been resistance within me about the work…as like not wanting to do the job anymore…feeling tired…thinking about what I will do when tree planting work finishes up very soon. 

What’s ironic about the resistance towards the work and thinking about how I will make money once tree planting ends…is that I am not maximizing my effectiveness within doing the work as like consuming myself with resistance to getting into a groove and becoming productive and efficient with my movements.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sabotage my best tree planting production within thinking about other things while beginning to tree plant.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise and understand that I make myself feel tired within thinking about things that do not pertain to the work I am doing…as I realise and understand that shifting my attention away from what I'm doing within thinking about future projections when I have a specific task at hand is not helpful and is in fact a hindrance to my effectiveness within the task at hand.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being righteous within my thinking about other things while I have a specific task to do…as like thinking I’m just going to keep thinking within my mind about whatever comes up because I want to be distracted and kind of forget about being here within the work I am responsible for.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for feeling sorry for myself within thinking about others things when I have a specific task to do…as I realise and understand I am responsible for my work production effectiveness and that by participating within thinking that’s not related to the working I'm doing, creates a situation where I am not as effective as I am capable of being.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to spite myself within diverting my attention away from my best work performance within deciding to move slow within thinking about all sorts of things that are not related to  the tasks at hand.

I realise the ridiculousness of choosing to compromise my best work performance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for compromising my best work performance within choosing to focus my immediate attention within thinking about other things.

I realise and understand the absurd ridiculousness of having a job to do and deciding/justifying that because I’m not that keen about the work I have to do…I’ll focus my attention within thinking about being somewhere else doing different things…while I do the work I have a responsibility to do.

When and as I see myself choosing to think about things other than the work I am required to do, I stop and breathe…I focus, myself on the task at hand and I realise the absurd ridiculousness…as like self-compromising and self-sabotaging stupidity of choosing to think about things other than the work I am doing…because I realise directing energy away from the work at hand is not helpful for me doing/giving my best work out put performance.