Day 178 Jealousy within Greedy Self Righteous Energy Addiction

I realised jealousy is a bitch of an experience as like a helplessness that is entirely self induced.  I experienced jealosuy within past relationships with intimate girl friends.

I remember realising how I had been fucking with  myself by accepting and allowing jealousy...and how nasty it is...as blah it's just fucking brutal self consuming unpleasantness.

I made a youtube video the other day titled celebrity talk...where I realised how fucked it was for me to be judging celeberties and getting angry/frustrated at them...and that I was really just projected blame...as my own bullshit exposed...I didn't see or realise the point of greed still existing within myself.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0i5VAAcXj_Y

I forgive myself for not realising and understanding how anger, nastiness, irritation, frustration, and greed as a self righteous energy addiction can be related to holding onto points of jeaslousy.

I forgive myself for not realising and understanding that If I accept and allow myself to be jealous of something...and I don't take practical application to release the energetic charge from within myself...then I'm still carrying jealousy around withi me and it could be triggered from within my mind at any moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being jealous of families classified as royal.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being jealous of professional athletes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being jealous of people with more money and free time than me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being jealous of kids who started playing hockey when they were younger than I was because I believed that if I had of started playing hockey when I was younger, I would be a professional hockey player now.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that if I had of started playing hockey when I was younger...like 3 or 4years old as opposed to 9 years old...I would be a professional hockey player making lots of money now.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for getting jealous of my girlfriends interactions with other guys.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being insecure by getting jealous of my girlfriends interactions with other guys.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising how spiteful jealousy can be.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being spiteful towards celeberties and wealthy people in general as an outflowed consequence of accepting and allowing jealousy within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself fo rhaving justified jealousy within greedy as being connected to the maintenance and upholding of self righteous energy addiction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being ashamed and emabrassed that I didn't realise I've been carrying around jealousy within myself all this time...when a few years ago I realised how nasty it is to particpate within jealousy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being jealous of snoop dogg for getting to smoke copius amounts of weed, have sex with lots of women...and basically just touring the globe smoking weed, rapping, and hooking up with women that desire to hook up with snoopdogg.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being jealous of rap/rock superstars...for getting to live rock star lifestyle touring around and being worshiped and idolized by fanatics...I mean people. lol.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being jealous of women having thought before it's so much easy for women to hook up with a guy than it is for a guy to hook up with a women. lol. ridiculousness here!

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being jealous of my parents and my parents parents generation for getting to grow up in simpler times as like things seemingly less fucked up...and better vehicles....well I mean there was muscle cars...the cars seemed cooler...and smoking was accepted everywhere and just seemed like friendlier times.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having been jealous when somebody had a toy that I didnt have.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being jealous of kids at school who got store bought snack/junk food compared to my home made snacks.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing msyelf for being jealous of kids who's parents got divorced because they had 2 houses to live in and sometimes got 2 birthdays and 2 christmas celebrations.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising how greed is linked to jealousy as both are equally nasty and brutal.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being jealous of people who own their own nice house.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being jealous about basically everything I don't have that I would like to have or be able to do. WOW!

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for reacting to my realisations about jealousy with like a slight irritation, anger and annoyance within myself as like what the fuck...really wow....fucking brutalness here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having disregarded all life here as consequence of accepting and allowing jealousy within myself as like a form of greed as a self righteous energy addiction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for connecting jealousy to being competitive.

I realise  the ridiculousness of jealousy...as like a nasty whining form of self pitty and inferiority.

I realise jealousy lacks any common sense considerations.

I realise the mind fuck experience of consequence of accepting and allowing jealousy.

I realise the manifested accepted and allowed separation jealousy creates.

I realise the link between jealousy and greedy as perpetuating self righteous energy addiction.

I realise holding onto jealousy in any capacity serves no purpose.

I realise the connection between greed, jealousy and envy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be envious of people I believe to be in a better situation than myself because they have more money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for defining who I am here based on money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for losing sight of who I am within greed/envy/jealosuy as like obsession/possession towards money as like money being the ultimate value here as like more than myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing an envious relationship with money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for kind of liking it when people are envious and jealous of my life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having particpated within envy as like being jealous, angry , irritated, upset, displeased, disappointed that someone has more stuff than me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having justified envy and jealousy by saying it's not fair.

I realise the ridiculousness of accepting and allowing any form of separation within myself.

I realise I gotta face the music as consequence of my acceptances and allowance and that it is much easier to simply release charges that I've carried against myself for so long...than to dwell and cry and be in shock and awe about the brutality as like the evil that has existed within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for taking the evil nasty shit I realise about myself personally...as like creating a double mind fuck by accepting and allowing myself to go on a guilt trip and accept and allow reactions to the realisations I am faced with.

I realise that it is cool to see people enjoying themselves and have opportunities and privileges and being jealous and envious of people's good fortune is stupid and pointless.

I realise being jealous, envious, greedy, self righteous and addicted to energy is time consuming and a total self abusive mind fuck.

I commit myself to releasing and stopping all jealousy and envy within myself.

I commit myself to releasing and letting go of greedy self righteous energy addiction.

I commit myself to exposing ridiculousness of accepting and allowing jealousy, envy, greed.