Day 177 Sex and Greedy Self Righteous Energy Addiction Part 2

In having a look at my previous blog, and seeing where I decided to stop writing it seems appropriate that I begin where I left off.

Sex:

I like sex. After the fist time I had sex I wanted to do it again and improve my skills/performance. lol



In having a look at the above statements about sex, I could see that I didn't really want to dig within my sexual history...and therfore just made a few quick points about sex and ended the blog.

I'm making a point of pushing myself to write out my relationship addiction as a greedy self righteous SEX energy addict.

This seems to be the most prominent point of influence within myself at the moment. I've dedcuted this reasoning from the fact that I pulled out some wants within my previous blog as weed/cigarettes/tobacco/skiing/snowboarding...and sex....and I've written about all these topics before and it wasn't too difficult for me to write a brief history about these topics...however...it became obvious that there was noticably more resistance in wriing about sex.

so, I will come back to other topics mentioned above and dig deep within myself about and as sex...with regards to the specific relationships/beliefs/perceptions/ideas I've formed within myself.




Last night my girlfriend said to me, "Mike, you can relate everything to sex....you relate everything to sex....is that all you think about?"

I said, "everything is sex so it's not hard to relate, I mean were all organisms.....You know, I could probably relate everything to skiing/snowboarding too"



I see that I make sexual inuendo's alot within group settings...like, I'll take what somebody says and I'll put a sexual connotation on it.  I like to push the sex point in group dynamics...like for example at family dinners. I've engaged within this type of behaviour for many years. 

Sex seemed to be the most taboo thing I could talk about that everyone was afilliated with in some way or another. There has always seemed to be an energy surounding/within sex talk....and it's like every-time I make publicly a sexual relationship connection to the words somebody said publicly...ridiculousness is certain as an erruption of laughter or like funny repsonses within individuals forming and making judgements about what I said...as like being shocked and awed...as like being surprised that I went there with my words.

Every girlfriend I've had has started from the starting point of having a partner to have sex with. It's like I'm always ready to have sex...well maybe not quite....like I don't have a boner 24/7.  Recently I've been looking at the point...'am I able to say no to sex?'  In my current relationship...i've considered saying no to having sex...but then I'm like...well ya I am capable and I do like sex...and if you wanna have sex...ok....I mean I wasnt really feeling like having sex at the moment...but ya ok...I dont really want to say no and miss out on an opportunity to have sex.

I coined the term awhile ago, "energy slut"

An Energy Slut applies to everyone here basically because of the friction/rubbing created within the mind/body in brewing up energy/energetic responses/reactions. Energy Slut is someone who mind fucks themselves. It's become aparent to me how I'm existing here as an energy slut...and how I've taken a liking to fucking myself with certain energies...you know the positive blissfull energies.

It's like I've accepted  my mind to be like my dick and every time I move it I get lost/possessed within the experience as the energy...and I'm righteous about following/playing this experience out...that it's like I'm being totally pulled out of myself so to speak as like I'm moving based upon an energy I created and the energy is like separate from me and the energy is driving me...like giving me the push...and Im not really moving myself...It's like I'm choosing to go on the energy ride and my body is the vehicle giving me the experience of the ride...though the experience of the ride is interpreted/directed in my head...and it's like a believing in the buzz.



Ok, I'm opening alot of stuff up from my writing...so I'm going to start with using my writing here to assist and support me with and as self forgiveness as a means of further understanding and self realising myself here and therfore creating a platform to assist and support myself with walking out of energy possession and standing up within energy possessions and stoping the inequalities within my mind and equalizing myself within my mind and body...so that I can establish an equal and one body and mind agreement here as equality and oneness.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing after the first time I had sex that I was inadequate and that I need to improve my performance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging sex.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging sexual performance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for obsessing about sex.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making sex a point of power.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for making sexual innuendo's and connecting everything everyone says to sex as like a way of mind fucking myself as to give myself an energetic high/push/pull from the body and the beings I am with as their reactions to my comments.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for speaking from the starting point of generating energetic reactions...as like the more intense the better.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for liking to talk about sex because many people are uncomfortable talking about sex and this places me within a position of superiority and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for liking being in a position of superiority. I forgive myself for not realising that accepting and allowing myself to like being in a position of superioroty, perpetuates inferiority within myself and perpetuates the need/desire/want to experience moments of superiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging myself for liking sex and not wanting to say no to opportunities to have sex with partner.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding how desire for sex as like an energetic experience exposes the accepted and allowed greedy self righteous energy addiction within myself.

I forgive myself for not realising and undrstanding that I was born into this world as a greedy self righteous energy addict...and that the source of fulfilling cravings/hunger is within and as sexual particpation...because within sexual experiences...energy is able to be built up to maximum potential...and than released/discharged....as like the release..the pull/push....the letting go...like the cause and effect of scratching an itch.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for using my body as like an energetic playground that produces experiences. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the consequence of using my body as like mining for resources/physical substances to extartc from myself as like to burn off as energy to give me the enrgy high.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for polarizing judgements about energy as being good or bad within the context of having a polarized emotional energetic charge to the word bad and a polarized energetic feeling charge to the word good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having declared that I love sex.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for professing love for sex as an experience...like an energy obssession as greedy self righteous energy addiction.

I forgive myself for not realising and understanding that thinking within myself has been like a form of having sex as like mind movement that generates a rubbing/friction within my body as like my mind being the dick and my body the vagina that is getting penetrated.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a superiority relationshi between the dick and the vagina and my mind and the body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding how exstensively I have limmited myself as consequence of being an automated greedy self righteous energy addicted organic robot.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting and desiring characterization as greedy self righteous energy addict to stop.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for always desiring a buzz of some sorts as like some form of stimulation as like some sort of energy to move/feed on/to consume myself with.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for for desiring and fearing to consume myself as consequence of greedy self righteous energy addiction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding the extent of my condition as a greedy self righteous energy addict here and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting and desiring a quick/instant fix solution as like abra kadabra I'mn done...I've finished process of self realisation and self correction.

I forgive myself for not realising and understanding that that the time it takes to walk process of self realisation and self correction is exstensive because accepted and allowed conditioning as been exstensive and therefore deprogramming greedy self righteous enerrgy addiction is specific based on accepted and allowed programmed conditions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a negative charge on the words energy slut....I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for using the word energy slut within the light of negative self judgement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for nto realising and understanding how physical sex in all ways here can assist and support the release of energetic charges and that through realising myself here as physical sex, I can equalize myself here as a physical sexual being as the physical sex you all being...as like you is me and me is you and we are all here together...and therefore the best way to sex together is as one and equal as means of mutual benefit/assistance and support as knowing and understanding and commiting to living as the best sex here always as phyical sexual movement starts with breath as breath is the basis and starting point foundation to ourselves as the organism...and the orgasm here as harmonious music makers as one and equal sound equilibrium...like perfect harmony in all ways that are best for all life here.

I realise walking process as sexual correction from experience into physical living is a process.

I realise I am capable and able to realise myself as physical sex in all ways as equality and oneness here.

I realise I am commited to myself here in and as process of self realisation and self correction and I also realise that I am commited to learning...and I realise that within learning and figuring things out I am capable and able to be creative and structured at the same time and that it is ok for me to make mistakes because mistakes expediate and facilitate process of self perfection because of the abscense of fear in wrong doing and therfore when a point is seen as a mistake as like a wrong doing...it is no big deal...because the point is re-alligned to what is best and therefore I walk/swim/breathe/ski/snowboard/talk/play/share/laugh/ process of structural resonance allignment.

I realise I don't require to want, need and desire process of structural resonance allignement as equality and oneness to be great, awesome, fun, playfull and cool because I know great, awesome, fun, playfull and cool to be here as words of support anbd assistance here as equality and oneness as what is best for all life.

I realise process is like an unfolding/exposure of ridiculousness.

I realise embracing ridiculousness is a cool key of self support in enhancing and facilitating self realisations as like aha moments as equality and oneness connections as the point here clear from fear as any polarity manifested friction.

I commit myself to writing myself clear of fear.

I commit myself to continue wrting about sex within and as greedy self righteous energy addiction.

I commit myself to sharing sexual connections as a point of assistance and support in facilitating the movement of process as self realisation and self correction.

I commit myself to beccoming and standing within the understanding and realisation of and as physical sex being here.