I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resisted letting go of resentment as blame/anger/frustration towards my parents.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying abusive behaviour towards my parents.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for verbally forcing myself upon my parents and brothers as like a retribution justification as like I'm going to fuck with you because I am righteously pissed at you guys and at the same time I love you and feel like I am obligated to speak to you as an authority as like I'm better than you and you are less than me...and the only way you can be equal to me is if you follow my commands and praise my righteousness.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring praise and recognition from my parents and brothers as like, "wow Mike, you've really been trying to help us this whole time and we've been such fucking righteous assholes towards you and ourselves."
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not understanding and realising how the hero and saviour character is an extension of the greedy self righteous character.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for liking the idea of myself as a hero and saviour character and justifying myself as the hero and saviour character as like necessary in continuing self righteous addiction as thirst for greed as being power hungry to exist as superiority here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising how greedy I have been in thirsting for conflict with my family as like feeding off of the abuse.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having both feared and desired conflict.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising that I am being greedy by reacting to conflict with anger, annoyance and frustration. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising how my reactions to conflict situations have revealed to me how I have been possessed by positive energy experiences and that I get upset with conflict because of accepting and allowing myself to blame the other being for contributing to the change of my energetic buzz.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for blaming other beings for contributing to the change of my energetic buzz.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing for not realising that I cannot equalize a conflict situation if I am accepting and allowing conflict within myself as like reacting to the conflict I see.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting and desiring to excellerate my girlfriends process's and my brothers and parents process's. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring and wanting to accelrate my process as like wanting to get to the finish line as quick as possible as like wishing I could have a quick fix solution and that I didn't have to do all the work that is required to be done in order to effectively facilitate self perfection from self realisation as absolute complete specificity.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having a greedy relationship towards myself here as process.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having walked process within self interest and thinking and believing that somehow someway I will be able to keep my self interest as me separate from everyone else as like me as ego as my relationship likes and dislikes.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resisted equalizing all relationships within myself. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having justifying resistance to equalizing all relationships because of fear of loss.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not wanting to give up and let go of relationships as positive feeling charges as like I have defined myself as who I am according to my postive relationship feelings.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to let go of postive relationship charges because I fear losing positive feelings I hae towards positive relationship charges.
I forgive myself for not realising how greedy it is to hold onto positive feeling relationship charges....and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for blingding myself from seeing the consequences of becoming possessed by positive energetically charged relationships.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for manipulating all my emotional relationship charges into positive feeling relationship charges.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being greedy in choosing self righteous indignation as like finger pointing blame.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being greedy and self righteous by accepting and allowing myself to be overwhelmed with a point I am walking here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for allowing particpation within greedy thoughts and imagination as like focusing attention to self interested desires as like fantasies focusing on me as like living in a heaven bubble.
I realise my family is assisting and supporting me in difusing manifested accepted and allowed separation.
I realise my family is assisting and supporting me in conflict resolution.
to be continued
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