Greed is a conflict situation because greed is an aspect of self interest preservation that brings forth outcomes as consequence that do not take into consideration the actual consequence that originates from greed.
I learned this lesson about greed and the conflict that results as consequence just today as like oh shit I didn't even consider the conflict I was creating towards my girlfriend as a result of accepting and allowing myself for obsessing within my mind about living in Revelstoke British Columbia this winter because it is one of the biggest ski mountains in Canada with the most snow. I made a decision to live in Ottawa Canada this winter and it's like I haven't honored the decision very well as I've constantly flirted with escaping Ottawa to live where the best skiing conditions are.
Within allowing myself to daydream about self interested ski fantasies I've been neglecting consideration of the commitment I made to my girlfriend to walk process with her.
Within this my behaviour has been less than exceptional because any time I've had an emotional reaction in relationship to my girlfriend I've thought about escaping my relationship and justified it within my mind for atleast a few moments as being the righteous thing to do because my girlfriend is simply fucked.
I realise my comments within my head have been fucked and it exposes how I have been negligent within my relationship with my girlfriend because of the accepted and allowed greedy mind set of obsessing over desires as fantasies and allowing myself to occupy many moments daily thinking about myself being somewhere else than I am.
The fact is I am where I am and I made a decision to be where I am.
Having allowed myself to compromise my relationship with my girfriend because of greedy self interested thoughts is total unacceptable bullshit.
I've had a greedy mind set about skiing because I will have the opportunity to ski in near by Quebec Canada this winter and I will be teaching skiing there. The fact that the mountains in Quebec are not as big as they are in British Columbia and the fact that there is more snow in British Columbia has perpetuated my greedy attitude as me not being appreciative of what is here. It's like I have been possessed by the attitude of I need more....and if there is a choice between having more or not having more I choose more.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the attitude of I need more...and if there is a choice between having more or not having more I choose more as consequence of fearing not having enough.
I realise I have been pretty ungratefull for what I have here in terms of assistance and support in all aspects of my day to day living here in Ottawa.
I realise the unfulfillment I have created within myself as consequence of accepting and allowing the, "I need more" attitude and the fear of not having enough.
I commit myself to living appreciation of the opportunities I do have here in Ottawa as assistance and support in walking process of self realisation/self perfection.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having been abusive towards my girlfriend within thought, feeling and emotion as consequence of accepting and allowing myself for obsessing within imagination as ski fanatasy that places me away from being physically here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having not considered the well being of my girlfriend here and the commitment I have made to her within my pre-occupation as a greedy character obsessing about self interested indulgences such as skiing the best terrain.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for pointing the finger at my girlfriend within my mind as her being too fucked and basically disregarding her as my partner and equal here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for compromising equality with my girlfriend and as consequence of my greedy nature created a juxta position for myself as superiority as assertive in righteousness and my girlfriend as inferiority and less than me,
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having been so abusive and brutal towards my girlfriend within my mind.
I forgive myself not realising and understanding this abusive and brutal nature within myself is the consequence of accepting and allowing myself to participate as a greedy character.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising that I have perpetuated emotional instability within myself as consequence of perpetuating greedy self interests within my mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for deflecting the brutal abusive nature I have accepted within myself and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself from negating self responsibility to investigate the depths of myself with brutal self honesty always.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not acknowledging the fact that the nastiness that exists within my mind as thought is a direct mirrored self reflection of my accepted and allowed particpations within myself that I have not effectively taken self responsibility for in walking correction as to transcend/remove/delete fuckedness.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resisted considering the depths of my accepted and allowed greed and overall fuckedness as consequences of years and years of mind particpations as thoughts/feelings/emotions with no actual awareness of what I was in fact perpetuating within myself as self compromise as less than what is best for all life here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for obsessing in my mind about skiing in revelstoke this winter.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for considering a back door escape from my girlfriend.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that back door escapes are an option for me to consider.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wallow within my mind about how I could just quit on my girlfriend.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for considering giving up on myself as my thoughts reflected towards my girlfirend. I realise all thoughts I have towards my girlfriend reflect and mirror my relationship with myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not really considering the relationship that I accept and allow within myself as consequence of accepting and allowing myself for exisiting as a greedy character.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not understanding and realising how I have compromised my relationship with myself throughout the years as consequence of accepting and allowing myself to participate here as a greedy self righteous character.
I realise relationship with self as what is best for life is disregarded and is compromised in the name of self interested greed as thought/feeling/emotion
I realise how I see and talk is a reflection of the relationship I accept and allow as myself being here.
I realise thinking about back door escapes as like breaking commitments is a point of giving up on myself here as the will I am.
I realise greed perpetuates wasted potential/opportunity.
I realise I am no longer interested in existing as a greedy self righteous character here that wastes inherent potential and opportunities
I realise that obsessing in my mind about skiing was an act of hiding and negligence as abuse as deflecting and denying self responsibilities as commitment to self realisation in every moment here as life equality and oneness.
I realise focusing on fuckedness in another is in fact revealing specific fuckedness within myself that I have avoided looking at and can be a cool point of support as brutal self honest investigation to bring forth self realisation and self correction as self perfection.
I realise greed and self righteousness perpetuates emotional instability.
I commit myself to letting go of thought participation as back door escape to commitments here in Ottawa
I commit myself to stop obsessing and fantasising within my mind about skiing in revelstoke this winter.
I commit myself to honoring self commitment statements.
I commit myself to walking process of assistance and support with my girlfriend
I commit myself to reflecting my mind as thoughts/feelings/emotions inward as my acceptances and allowances to be faced into the depths of my being so that I get to the root cause of each thought/feeling/emotion within myself so that I am able to stop patterned cycles of abusive behaviour as energy manipulation as polarity friction rubbing away my physical well being.
I commit myself to exposing the fuckedness of the greedy self righteous character and I commit myself to providing solutions as self corrections for the erradication of the greedy self righteous character.
I commit myself to letting go of fear of loss. I commit myself to exposing the ridiculousness of holding onto fear of loss.
I commit myself to letting the character persona of myself as a greedy self righteous character here go/evaporate/vanish
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