Day 741 - When The Going Gets Tough – The Moment You're Tired

When The Going Gets Tough – The Moment You're Tired

So I am Here in this moment pushing myself to share a bit of myself here in further establishing a new consistency in writing my blogs. I have been looking at the dedication and determination within and as the Self-responsibility to actually walk appoint as the Self-Authority on making what happens Best…Best as in for myself and all others as myself here.

The point is clear here…that sharing is caring through writing antidotes of support as words that assist myself and others as myself. Therefore I see it is paramount that I push myself to make this writing happen on a daily basis.

I looked at the point of time practicality and that somebody's will be much more of a squeeze than other days. This is the nature of learning how to juggle the effectiveness of time management. I mean things wouldn’t bee challenging ever at times if there wasn’t any resistance to walk through.

This evening for instance am I quite tired and would like to get to sleep earlier than is usual. This is somewhat of a consequence of my previous day time management where I stayed on later than expected and had to get up quite early…and I had a full day of activity today. This here is like a point of parenting in a way….I mean if you have a child and the child needs attention and you are tired or were sleeping and the child is calling for you…..you may want to go to sleep but the self-authority point of self-responsibility as that which is always best is to tend to the child in the best practical ways.

I see myself as taking on the parental guidance of my own individual application. I mean I am an adult…yet I see and recognize the child within me as like I am an adult child in a way…as I very much am still intact within and as the playfulness that is a child. I see that we are all children in a way…where even though we grow old…there is still a childish nature about ourselves. This I see here where the harmony is key in and as the balance of self seriousness and self playfulness.

I am quite enjoying myself here as I flow out words a like a fountain of support that is me here taking step by step word by word to substantiate the strength of my character here in ways that are Best for myself and Everyone as myself here.

This writing here today is the push …as like I was facing the pull of the tiredness energy within myself and all the excuses were coming into my mind as like I need to go to sleep now…there’s not enough time for me to write today…I’ll just write double tomorrow as a way to make up for today….these points of immediate thoughts coming up within myself as a solution of sorts that I wasn’t even really looking for are a disguise and a veil of sorts….a trap …an entrapment…where it’s like subtle suggestions in a way to submit to less than the potential I am to stick to the dedication and determination that I am to write myself Here.

I see realize and understand how to push myself through a pull experience in the mind when and as the going gets tough and the mind wants a shutdown experience of suppression as like the overwhelming experience of tiredness where one can easily justify the death of self in a moment…where it’s like believed to be logically rational that one just physically can’t go on any further. I mean here is the self-honesty…this is the equation ….the solution….the Solution as what is best in fact…and here the support I utlize in the moment is the questions as point of assisted and supported guided direction as my moral compass if you will where I see if and as I am in fact capable and able to do more than what my mind as my internal gps system is suggesting for me as the direction for my Life.

I realize and understand that my potential ability and capability exists beyond what comes up in my mind. It is not to say that I can not have a cool supportive thought…or that all thoughts cannot be supportive in one way or another….the point I am emphasizing is the self-honesty within and as the assessment of moment management as the recognition of what is in fact my potential ability in this very moment as Me Here the standing epitome of and as Self-Responsibility.

I am noticing that great questions for myself are somewhat rhetorical as like a question and an exclamation because I see here within and as this regard…that I am so much more than what I have ever believed that I am…and this is fascinating because I am beginning to recognize myself Authority as the writer/player/director that has so many solutions in any given moment as always all ways…and there is a lot of good ways/routes of assistance and support to aid in myself pushing myself as the resistance strength training where I prove to myself that I am in fact here as Substantial Endurance and Stamina and that physical ability far exceeds my thoughts and that I am just learning to get comfortable with the recognition that I am capable of more than I ever thought was possible for myself and all Life as myself here.

Life is remarkable as we are the writers that make the marks as how we exclaim ourselves to be so as the sewing things so as to how to have sown in the best possible ways the assistance and support that is substantially great to aid in the best development of Ourselves…our cells and the whole body of everyone here as to make the self-honest contribution to Life as the realization recognition and understanding of what it means for expression to exist as “I live to Give” At Your service as the best service to myself is the best service to You…as You is me in another Life and I am You in and as this Life.” Together we are both Here. Alone Here and All One together Individuals put together to share as the “I am Here to Give to Life as I am Life.”

To Be Continued J

Day 740 - Self-Responsibility within Dedication and Determination

Continuing from previous blog entry.

Self-Responsibility is a gift in and as self-empowerment. It is a gift you give give to yourself. Self-responsibility is part of the epitome of practically living any and all words. It's the Authority self-authorization to move and express oneself here however you see fit.

I am looking at Self-Responsibility here in relationship to Dedication and Determination.  What I am doing is clarifying the way to create certainty within and as the development of my full potential.

Some, Self-forgiveness I see relevant here:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding that the commitment to and as the practical living of Dedication and Determination is enshrined within and as the giving and living Self-Responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for many times shying away from taking on self-responsibility within point I would like to be dedicated and determined within.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how if the Self-responsibility one bestows to oneself is not clear...it is easy to get lost/muddled within effectively living commitments to the best of one's ability.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent to which Passion exists within and as Relationship to the words: Self-Responsibility, Dedication and Determination.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself having resisted many times how to really establish a structural sound foundation within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent to which investigation of the Vocabulary in Relationships is of tremendous support and assistance in being able to know how to live self-responsibility within and as specific relationships.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the complexity of relationships as a result of and as the extent of vocabulary existent.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to always utilize a simplistic approach within and as self-investigation...where I start with a word and i examine the relationship interconnectedness that exists and myself reflection within it all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to actually give myself the Authorization to create Self-Responsibility for myself as a a Live of Dedication and and Determination within and as the work/play that I do.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting self-responsibility/dedication/determination within many moments of movement of myself here as like lacking the clarity of purpose within and as my movement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent to which I Authorize the Establishment of Self-Responsibility within myself as my Dedication and Determination.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the substantial Life I can create for myself within understanding and knowing how to live the words: Self-Responsibility, Dedication, Determination, Authority, and Passion.

To Be Continued

Day 672 - Waiting for Life to Happen

I just listened to "Waiting for Life to Happen". I suggest clicking on the link to the interview. There was a lot of cool points brought through within the recording.

To make a point of sharing a point that has come through in relationship to my living is the point that "Nothing moves unless I move"...meaning that,...Unless I directly move apply myself within particular points...than nothing is going to happen....

To further elaborate on the point....it's like waiting around for opportunity to come knocking on my door....or going out and making opportunities happen by doing things...whether it be as simple as knocking on people's doors....or it be sending a long time friend a message....or making a few phone calls....or setting up a facebook event. The point I am sharing is that there is so many ways to make things happen in one's life....it really is as simple as just doing things.

This point resonates well with me....because I have participated in polarity extremes here....where I have gone from making lots of things happening...to making somethings happen....to resisting/avoiding to make anything happen really. I confused myself in this point as a result of having created a resistance towards the point of "Initiative" and "Responsibility"...where I went into judgement and comparison about these things from a starting point of self-righteousness where I ultimately victimized myself in holding myself back from taking initiative and responsibility for creating events/participations/plans for myself. I went into the point of resistance to planning and responsibility and initiative to such an extent....that I was treating each day as like...well I'll just see what happens....and what opens up. All the while, not realizing that I was resisting to actually create openings and opportunities for myself because I basically had put myself as being dependent upon my emotion/feeling in the moment...and also being rooted in the point of fear of commitment....so....therefore not much foresight into the logistics of planning and mapping out the effective use of my time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for dismissing the practicality of living the words "Initiative and Responsibility" in relationship to making things happen within my life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing the commitment to actually walk the process in space and time in order to actually manifest/create that which I would like to make happen.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for dismissing directive creative control of my life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for disregarding my creative potential in and as the living of my life here....from and as the perspective of the attitude and notion of, "I'll just wait and see what happens..."

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating a dissonance towards life happening from the perspective of forgetting to understanding reflect upon the fact that my life and ability to see and relate here is a result of and as how I am participating internally and externally here....meaning that all is a self-reflection here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the mentality of just waiting for life to happen to be as a resulting consequence of living in fear/anxiety/lack of self-confidence/self-worth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent of my potential to create the Life I want to see here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having resistance to actually take responsibility for my life and the happening of my life here in every moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for abdicating responsibilities for my life being here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being hesitant about actually moving myself here in this world....from the perspective of daring to explore and experiment here without the fear of making a mistake.

When and as I see myself resisting to actually live the words "Initiative and Responsibility" , I stop and breathe, I see realize and understand the value as practical living life support within and as the knowing of "Initiative and Responsibility"

I commit myself to further sharing the words "Initiative and Responsibility" in my writing as a framework to support and assist the practical living of life here from and as the starting point of knowing and understanding oneself existing here as a Creator, equal and one.

I commit myself to stop shifting responsibility and initiative away from myself.

I commit myself to stop fearing to make mistakes within actually taking on initiative and responsibility within the beginning stages of new projects/developments.

I commit myself to walk through the fear/resistance I face within face new experiences that are uncomfortable and also when the outcome is uncertain.

I commit myself to giving myself the time to effectively plan my life and day to day living effectively so that I can actually live my life to my fullest potential...and make the most of my time here.

I commit myself to becoming more effective with my regard and considerations about time.

I commit myself to cherishing and valuing every single moment of my time.

I commit myself to dedicating my time to noble and worthy causes that are to the benefit of all life here.

I commit myself to structuring my practical living from the principle of what is best for all life is in fact best for me.

Day 659 - Creation and How to Make it Happen

I've noticed an interesting thing within my life in terms of creating things for myself. That being in many instances I require to "just go for it" and some instances even "dare myself to go there".

Why do I say "just go for it" and "dare myself to go there"?

I've noticed that within myself, fear has been a mitigating factor...a controlling factor really....a deal breaker...something that superimposes me to not actually want to create/express myself beyond my current status of acceptances and allowances.

Lets look at how I started dating my first girlfriend: She was a girl who I didn't really know all that well...other than that she played some sports at the high school I attended and that I was attracted to her looks and the fact that she was interested in sports. Also, we both had the same english teacher....I had the teacher first period...and she had the teacher second period...and oh ya....our lockers were near by one another.

So, what is interesting here is that we would cross paths within our day and we kind of looked at each other but didn't say anything to each other. This went on for a little bit. I decided that I wanted to talk to her and get her phone number so I could further get to know her because She was interesting to me. Anywho, I planned to talk to her and tell her I had been noticing her around and that I would like to get her phone number.

Interestingly enough, when the time came to actually say hi to her and share with her what I planned to say...its like I panicked...and was faced with this wall of resistance...nervousness....fear...doubt...uncertainty as to whether or not I would get her number. It's like I was paralyzed in actually moving the point and seeing if I could make something happen here...


So, after having accepted and allowed myself to back out of daring to express myself to her...I decided to make a plan that I would do it at this specific time in the future...because I believed it to be when I would next cross paths with her as our schedules normally intersected at this specific duration within the school day. However, as opportunities are often presented unexpectedly, I was back to my locker unexpectedly after an exam...and she too was at her locker...this was not in my planning...I wanted more time...I wasnt ready I believed to actually face her in communication according to my mind of my acceptances and allowances....

I saw the point of resistance/hesitance/ingrained fear here...and I decided to just go for it...I mean I already even had it all planed out as to what I wanted to say to her.

So, I did get her phone number.

I wouldn't have got her phone number if I didn't "make it happen".

Though, now I was faced with the point of actually calling her....which was a fearful thing to me at the time...I mean it's really some irrational fear here...like fear of rejection...fear of things not working out as I would like them to. Though what is interesting about this is that...by not doing anything...I am stuck within the point of nothing really happening/developing.

So I decided to just go for it..despite experiencing some anxiety/fear/nervousness/resistance about doing so,

I made it happen by dialing her phone number and calling her.

It really isn't that physically demanding to dial a phone number...though I had made the experience seem like an arduous task.

Calling her a second time was easier than the first time.

After talking on the phone I decided to ask her on a date.

I made it happen by asking her.



So from my example sharing here, can you see how I created a relationship? Do you see how I "made it happen"?

In looking specifically at the creation process, it's a physical movement...a communication...a specifically structured self-willing expression of oneself here.


I like the statement: "Ask and you shall receive"

This does not necessarily mean you are going to get what you ask for....but it does in fact mean you will get a response/feedback....whether it is the response you are looking for or it is not.  The practically of asking questions is that we "Create" process and progress which assists and supports further development/creation.

Say you are wanting to ask someone for help but you fear them neglecting to help you....well, ironically enough you are not helping yourself by not asking for help. In fact you are getting exactly what it is you don't want by accepting and allowing the fear that you don't want to take precedence over the potential of the possibility of making what it is you do want to happen.


Another example:

Creating an activity for myself and others:

Often after school I would arrange road hockey games. I really liked to play hockey as a child. I would call up every friend in the neighborhood to see who was interested in playing hockey. I would tell my brother to call all his friends in neighborhood to see who wanted to play hockey.

I made the decision that I wanted to play a game of hockey.

I took the "initiative" to facilitate the happening of the hockey game.

I made it happen.


What's interesting to see here within this hockey game example is that prior to me making the call....no one else had taken the "initiative" to making a hockey game happen. It's not to say, nobody wanted to play hockey...because in fact many people often played when I would make my round of calls to see who was interested in taking part in the game.


Let's now look at another example in regards to organizing social endeavors:

So, there was a time when I felt jaded about being the guy who was always making the plans for things to happen....and so I decided that I didn't want to take the "initiative" anymore and that I would just accept invitations or reject invitations to social endeavors that someone else put in the time to orchestrate.
What I noticed within this approach is that I was making a big deal about taking "initiative" and "making things happen"...and that I was being quite stubborn in neglecting the CREATION of Awesomeness.


Another example:

How I met my second girlfriend:

So, I noticed that I was generally neglecting to really genuinely express myself to girls in which I was attracted to....like the point of fear/self-consciousness/nervousness existed...

So, I decided that I am just going to go for it and be outward in my self-expression and that I am totally fine with whether or not my self-expression is well regarded. I figured this to be a cool point, because I was sharing myself and not holding myself back...and therefore I was CREATING the opportunity for something to develop and unfold by daring to exist within the unknown of a moment/situation...and that by taking this approach...I would have no regrets because I actually wouldn't be able to wonder about if  I actually went where I resisted going...or did what I resisted doing...or said what I was really thinking..

So, I was out at the pub this very night....and I had actually written about how I do not need a relationship with anyone and that I am perfectly content with being a single dude here....yet at the same time I was kind of seeing that by having a solid relationship with myself, the potential exists to have a solid relationship with anyone...and so, I was kind of thinking that I don't need a "special" relationship with One person....I can have relationships with all sorts of girls.

Anywho, as I was heading outside for a smoke, this girl caught my attention as we were crossing paths...and it was quite crowded and loud within the pub...and as we were in the midst of crossing paths, I decided that I would put my hand out and say and gesture "high-five" to her. She went for my high-five...and when she did, I gently squeezed her hand and moved inward and looked her in the eyes and said, "i just wanted to tell you that I thing your beautiful"...and then I let go of her hand and continued on my way out of the pub to have a smoke.

As I was coming back into the pub...it just so happened that the girl saw me...and she yelled to me "High-five"...and we locked eyes for a moment...and I was happy to see her and her outgoing response towards me...and I decided to go for a hug....and we hugged and after we chatted for a good little while and we found out that we had some common interests and that we were both in the midst of reading the same book.

The interesting thing about this example is that nothing would have developed here if I did not take the initiative to "make something happen". We dated for a good two years.


OK, another example:

So, I had been playing around within the point of stand up comedy and I had been writing stuff and also sharing what I thought was so awesome...specifically, "the Science of Awesome"....So, the "Science of Awesome" for those who haven't been privy to being educated within this Science:

'Do You Know why Awesome is so Awesome?'

'Because it's Awe So Me!

'You Know, because Awesome is always, all ways AWE-SO-ME'....and that's why when you say and see something that is Awesome, You are like, AWE, that is SO, ME! AWESOME! Because there is always Some Awe with Awesome....and it Takes One to Know One...and TAG, You're It!...and that's why the More You Know Awesome, the More You are It....because that's fucking Awesome....and when You Get it....You Got it!  Get it? Got It! Good!

"Do you know why Good is so Good?"

"Because Good is like God....But, with an Extra O.....And that is why multiple O's are so Good. Because it's like good god ohhhh god that's Gooooooooood.

"Get it, Got it, Good!"

"Fucking Awesome"

"Awe Ya"


Lol, pardon my silliness.


Ok, back to my story...about stand up comedy and the sharing of the Science of Awesome....

So, I had shared this science with many, many, many people....and the science was well received....I mean it is pretty fucking awesome.

Anywho, so I know the Science of Awesome is Awesome...I mean I wrote the science....and it had been peer reviewed countless times....

I remember being at the comedy club one time and I shared the science with a bunch of comedians that performed that night...I wasn't performing that night...but had took the initiative to shoot the shit with the comics afterwards and express my enjoyment about their performances. So, we get to joking around and I share my bit about Awesome and Good...and the comic I regard as the most talented in the bunch...tells me that I'm on another level than him....that this is some holy shit...

So, I get cool feedback from the comics as a result of making/taking the initiative to compliment their performances. I end up leaving the club with all the comics and going to one of their places to continue joking around...

So, cool learning and sharing's opened up as a result of making a point of expressing myself..

Note: I didn't know how things would unfold within expressing myself...however, it is cool to see how cool opportunities are often synonymous within creating the space to express and articulate ourselves.

Ok, the story continues....

So, a comedian I had been really enjoying at the time was coming to town.....I decided I was going to share the Science of Awesome with him...and basically wow him to the point where he's going to give me an opportunity to fast track myself within the world of stand up comedy....

So, I see the dude's show...and I am face to face with him after the show shaking hands....and I......

accept and allow myself to be influenced by fear/resistance....and I hold back from sharing the Science of Awesome with him.

How Unfortunate.

What a tragic comedy really...

There was potential in that moment to share the Science of Awesome with a comic I regarded as pretty fucking awesome...and I feared not getting his approval.


So,


When we allow ourselves to stand within and as the starting point of Creation/Expression Here...there exists no loss...fear of loss.....because we are Giving Everything we Got to Give in that Moment as the unconditional expression/movement/creation of ourself Here....and we are in fact living up to Our Potential.....Which, in and of itself,.....

is.....


Pretty Fucking Awesome!

Day 645 - Making Time for Writing

So, my schedule has been and will continue to be rather busy. A point that has come up is how I am in fact able to push myself within my time/schedule...to make room for writing....like squeezing in an extra little bit within my time. How do I do this? Well, I have noticed that I am more effective in getting things done the less I think about other things while I am doing the thing I am doing....Meaning, as I focus myself on tasks at hand...and not drift within my mind...I am more efficient within the tasks I am participating within...and therefore as a result of my diligence within and as my physical tasks/responsibilities...I have realized that I can push myself to take on and give myself more responsibilities. I see Writing is a point of Self Responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having accepted and allowed the excuses in the past that my schedule is just to busy and that I cannot possibly squeeze in any extra time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I accepted and allowed the belief that I couldn't squeeze any Writing into my day, because I am just too busy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for subscribing to participation within justification...and within this, not realizing and understanding the ridiculous absurdity of making up a self imposed/induced restraint within and as the subscription to a thought/justification.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the focused effort within and as the decision and commitment to engage myself within and as my physical movements.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting the fact that an effortless physical performance is actually a fine tuned precise and concentrated and specific effort that is a result of hard work.

I see/realize and understand how I gift myself time by being specific within my participations/movements in time.

I commit myself to making a concentrated effort to continually share my blog writing's here.

I commit myself to making time to share writing.

I commit myself to making time on a daily basis to Write.

I realize and understand Writing to be an Awesome tool/expression of support and assistance for myself and others.



When and as I see myself formulating thoughts withing my mind as a point of limitation...as like how I cannot and do not have time to write today, I stop and breathe...I see/realize/understand the absurd ridiculousness of subscribing/buying into my thoughts of justification. I direct myself to make a point of making my writing happen...I see/realize and understand that excuses and justification for not writing are not in fact valid...and that I am not interested in creating self-imposed restraints on my ability to make time to write on a daily basis...regardless of my circumstances within the day. I realize and understand the allotment of time I have available to write on a daily basis will vary.

I commit myself to daily Writing.

Day 628 Conceited

It's Fun Funny and Cool to play with the sounding of words to see what is sometimes missed within and as the actuality of what is here in and as a word relationship as how the letters come together in producing a structured sound expression.

I'm looking at the word "Conceited" Because this is a self-defensive word I have utilized as a tool to propagate the religion of myself as being Superior in competition/comparison/judgement to others. Interestingly enough, this reveals low/inflated self-worth. I believed that it was necessary to sell/promote my self-proclaimed greatness as a way to in fact achieve self-proclaimed greatness. Motivated within and as the desire to be be famous and regarded as Royalty in Superiority, I presented my beliefs/opinions whole heartily, triggering others to fuel my proclamations and stand with my behaviour/programming/words as a result of having the very same desires existent within themselves, however, not necessarily actively engaging desire to the extent in which I have been advocating/living.

CON-SEATED !!!

Notice also how the word "Cite" and "Cited" exists within and as the word "Conceited" and how the spelling of "Cited" is rearranged to spell "Ceited"...as "Con + Ceited = ConSeated"

It's Funny to see the actual play out of Conceited behaviour because it's like trying to encourage a hypnotic trance into getting what you want...Like instead of Asking for what it is that You would Like to Receive, there is this belief that if I deceive and I believe in what is is I am deceiving about...I will Achieve the result I am seeking without being direct in my asking for it...interestingly enough this behaviour is like a "beating around the bush" type of mentality that is the direct result of self-manipulation as a result of the accepted and allowed Fear of Inferiority.

OK, Let's look at a very specific example here:

"Let me tell You how great I am. I am the Best at Everything. Everything I do, I am so good at...I have accomplished this and this and that and this...and let me go on and on about all the things I am capable of...Also that I am not not afraid of this and this and this...which is actually quite impressively and truly remarkable because pretty much everyone is afraid and I am not...I am actually so much better than You..."

OK, the point of my example here is to illustrate the specific nature of "Conceitedness", where a specific desire exists to be regarded/perceived/judged/worshiped/proclaimed/complimented in a particular manner...as like to specifically tell someone what it is You want to hear. I find this really funny, because the ridiculous absurdity of it is not heard at all within the speaker...as like there is a cognitive dissonance towards the joke/funny being parlayed here because of the serious nature of the speaker...as like the roots of the situation are seriously fucked...as Fear...is like fucking our Ears ability to Hear...and so, Fear, is like the price/FARE we pay/speak without realizing and understanding the seriousness and severity of and as our own current situation/problem...and thus we miss the Joke that we are, which in truth is Soooooooo Ridiculously Absurd that it is Funny. Albeit and Arguably So, the truth of Our-self is the Most Unfortunate Tragic Comedy Existence as a Whole has in fact ever Witnessed. Ironically enough, Seeing that our finger pointing judgement/comparison/competition has all been in vain, as the reality of the situation is that we've really just been finger blasting our own Asshole as we did not realize and understand our Equality and Oneness and therefore consequently became the manifestation of and as total fucking assholes here...Not realizing how we've proliferated the belief in our own BULLSHIT by finger fucking our own asshole within our self-judgement/comparison/competition believed and propagated inferiority/superiority complex conditioning behaviour mentality frame of mind.


To Be Continued

Day 606 Emotional Attachment to Money

Why is it that I have an emotional attachment to Money?

Well, I feel safe and secure when I have lots of money in my bank account. Money provides me with a sense of comfort and security of well being. Have I created a false sense of security within myself that is relative to the amount of money I have? I mean, money is a point of practicality within the word in which we live. Money supports our well being here. I need and require money in order to buy food and be able to pay for a place to live. I need money to survive. So, I see that within this desire to survive/fear of not surviving I have derived comfort within having money to spend. I mean, I like spending money on points of luxury...like being able to travel, have a car, have toys to play with...the money to participate within activities. 

I was just looking at my bank account and calculated some upcoming expenses...and also I was looking at the price of the Canadian dollar in relation to the European dollar and the American dollar....and within doing so, I had some reactions of anger/frustration/irritation/annoyance/blame.

Also, I started questioning my initial plans for the upcoming months...I mean I started looking at things more and more because of the fear of loss...like losing the money that currently sits in my bank account...and within this...kind of fretting within my mind... so very concerned...in a slight state of panic/stress/strain upon myself...feeling uncomfortable within the thoughts that as my bank account shrinks and I move into new business ventures without an initial immediate return of income....what if I don't succeed? I mean, shit, the paranoia attached to my money relationship is a most tragic comedy.

So, 

As, I stabilized myself within taking a breath and realizing I am here, I was able to look with clarity at how I had created such an energetic buildup within myself in relationship to my money. 

Obviously it is not cool that the majority of the people on the planet most likely have some sort of emotional attachment to money.

It is not cool that my emotional attachment to money has been a result of competition mentality mind set as the 'desire to win and the fear of losing'...the epitome of a win/loss relationship. I mean, fuck, that type of relationship mind set sucks.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating an emotional attachment to money.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for existing within and as a competitive win/loss relationship with money...where I desire to have more money and I fear loosing all my money.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for defining my comfort and security in relationship to how much money is in my bank account.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create my existence to exist within and as an emotion/feeling state of energy that is directly related to how much money I have.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having suppressed my practical living creative expression and potential expression within garnering an emotional attachment to money.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating emotional stress/strain upon my physical body within fearing to lose my money and fearing to not have enough money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the money psychology of our shared reality...and how it exists within and as the fear of loss.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing my life potential within stressing/straining myself about money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for valuing money more than I value my physical well being.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for sacrificing and compromising my physical well being within forming an emotional attachment to money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have suppressed my relationship potential with money as a result of fearing to lose money...and desiring to have more money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having a conflicting relationship with money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have the opportunity to expand my relationship to and as money within letting go of my emotional attachment towards money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I am able to become more intimate within my expression with money as a result of stopping to accept and allow my money movement relationships to be rooted and influenced by fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have the opportunity to develop creative expression with money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for separating myself from and as the money here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding myself as the point of self-determination in deciding and determining the level of connection I have with money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the money delusion of desire as like the beautiful mirage that is always just a little out of reach.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for mind fucking myself in and as a result of creating an emotional attachment to money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for becoming energetically stimulated by money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have moved through my life within a limited capacity as a result of having an emotional attachment to money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having reacted in a spiteful manner to the realization that I have existed within an emotional attachment towards money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being spiteful towards myself in trying to rebel against my emotional attachment to money...by deliberately being careless with my money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing my money movement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting to avoid spending my money as much as possible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing my money movement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having desired to be reckless with my money in hopes that I will get a big reward for taking a big risk.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring big amounts of money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing big amounts of money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how ridiculously absurd it is to fear money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for treating money as separate from myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having defined money to be my artificial life force.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for restricting/resisting my access to money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having a relationship with money based upon self interest.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to let go of the desire for more money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that the desire for more money is the necessary motivation in order to make receiving more money possible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding that I do not in fact require to desire having more money in order for me to be one and equal with receiving/inheriting more money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking I must be deceptively clever in order to receive more money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for doubting my ability to give myself more money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for running away from more money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting to avoid the responsibility that comes with having more money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing the responsibility that comes with having more money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent to which my relationship with money has been ridiculously absurd.

Day 598 Morning Rhythm Self-Corrections

When and as I see myself regarding my morning as whether I have to go to work or not, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand that my morning exists as the beginning of my day and within this that there is so much potential opportunity to do things for myself within and as my morning here. I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of limiting my outlook on my morning within and as only focusing on whether or not I have to get up early. I commit myself to exercise and utilize the potential opportunities that exist within and as my mornings...and within this I commit myself to effectively planning out my mornings in a structured way where I give myself the time to spend doing self-supportive things that I like to do. I commit myself to making a habit of enjoying my morning time.

When and as I see myself dreading the morning, I stop and breathe, I face the points of resistance in relationship to the morning, I realize and understand that I enjoy doing things for myself within the morning and that I have in fact an extra mini little day when I get up early in the morning. I commit myself to giving myself extra mini little day's by creating the habit of continuously rising out of bed early in the morning. 

When and as I see myself manipulating my mornings with fear and desire, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of such particpations, I have a laugh and walk the self-correction in real time, I commit myself to expanding my self-expression here by living my mornings as a point of self-support that exists beyond emotions and or feelings. I commit myself to living the word "morning" without any emotions/feelings, as I realize the morning is the morning without any feelings and or emotions and that my self-expression is born when in fact I allow myself to exist beyond the self-imposed limitations of emotions/feelings.

When and as I see myself making justifications about my morning to induce myself within an particular feeling/emotion, I stop and breathe, I see and realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of such participation, I commit myself to let go of the self-imposed limitations within the moment as a point of real-time practical living self-responsibility. I commit myself to being and becoming creative with the time I am able to spend within and as my morning. I commit myself to giving myself things I would like to receive within my morning. I commit myself to doing things I would like to do within my mornings. I commit myself to looking forward to every morning. I commit myself to liking every morning. I commit myself appreciating my mornings. I commit myself to being grateful for my morning.

When and as I see myself creating conflict about my morning, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of self-sabotaging my morning as a result of following within a negative backchat that came up within my mind about my morning. I commit myself to stop self-sabotaging my morning. I commit myself to realizing and understanding the awesomeness of the morning and within this the equality and oneness within and as the word morning and how here exists the constant consistency as the living words morning awesomeness equality and oneness.

When and as I see myself creating difficulty for myself in the morning, I stop and breathe, I have a laugh out loud and smile as I realize and understand I am the creator here and that it is myself-responsibility to create that which is best for Life as I am Life here. I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of creating that which is less than what is best for myself. I commit myself to creating and giving myself that which is best for myself as I realize and understand that I like to receive that which is best for myself here. I commit myself to giving myself the best assistance and support.

When and as I see myself creating conflict between morning and night, I stop and breathe, I realize and understand the absurd ridiculousness of creating a battle between morning and night, I commit myself to practically living the words morning, day and night as the simplicity of the words they are without attaching/associating any feelings/emotions about the words. I commit myself to practically living the morning, day and night. I commit myself to allowing my morning to compliment my day and night...and allowing my day to compliment my night... I commit myself to allowing my night to compliment my morning and day. I commit myself to practically living the word compliment(s)/complimentary as a point of assistance and support. I commit myself to the realization and understanding that all words are inherently equal and that every word is a point of assistance and support. I commit myself to assisting and supporting myself with the effective living of words from and as the starting point of oneness and equality and the self-realization that self-expression within and as the living of words exists beyond energetic associations to words as either positive/negative/neutral energies. I commit myself to making sure my vocabulary is harmonized within and as the starting point of oneness and equality. I realize and understand the ridiculous absurdity of disharmony.

Day 573 Process of Change

I've been looking at the point of change. Specifically making new goals/patterns/habits/routines/commitments and within this seeing how to be most effective/efficient in implementing these changes.

What I've noticed and realized is that big results and drastic change is the accumulation of a series of many very small steps.

I've noticed and realized how my success or failure within a point of change is specifically the result of my very small steps.

What's interesting to see here within and as the process of change is how steps can also be referred to as calculations or acceptances and allowances.

Each step/calculation/acceptance and allowance happens within a moment.

What I've come to realize and understand is how simple it is to re-align/self-correct myself when I lose my balance as a result of a miscalculated step.

What's interesting here is to see the equality within how easily we can support ourselves in a moment...or how easily we can fuck with ourselves in a moment....because the basic mathematics always applies as the accumulation effect/factor.

What I've found difficult about stopping a pattern/habit and creating a new pattern/habit is looking for the change to happen automatically within myself without any real self-directed effort/commitment and or challenge...like for instance making a plan...and just kind of expecting that my thoughts will walk me through the change...as like telling my body what to do in every moment.

What's interesting about this...is that I am faced with the particular thoughts/feelings/emotions that are linked/formed within myself as the accumulation that has been accepted and allowed within myself with regards to my oldpatterns/habits.

What's interesting to see here is that in order to effectively integrate a new pattern/habit/routine/change, I require a series of new steps and this series of new steps requires repeated repetition in/as order to/so be effectively integrated within myself.

What's interesting about this is that by questioning my every step within developing myself I can practically see and realize the effectiveness of each step. Within this, I can play with a series of steps/movements and within doing this I can establish rhythm and tempo and build upon my application.

What's interesting about this is that I am my own science experiment and I determine the science experiment.

What's interesting about this is that the science is all ways awe-so-me. Here is where things get interesting...because I am the starting point of determining my awesomeness in application. By realizing and understanding that anything that I do that is not cool/awesome is a misstep/miscalculation where I then forgive myself for accepting and allowing a point of less than awesomeness/cool to exist within myself. 

What's interesting about the process of change is that the more specific I get with my questioning of myself here, the more I enable myself to expand my practical living application of awesomeness/cool as that which is best for all Life. 

What's interesting about this is that by constantly and consistently being on the quest of question specificity within and as process of self-perfection in and as the science of awesome/cool practical living applications...it is clear here to see/hear and realize what the answers/solutions are as the ways to effectively and efficiently correct my momentary missteps/trips/falls/stumbles/bails.

It's interesting how within the realization and understanding that the question is one and equal with the answer/solution...and that we are here as the starting point of it...that it is really only a dare to care...a dare to see what is already here...which is fascinating because what's blocked me from seeing and realizing what is here is that I've been too damn scared.

And what is interesting about being scared...is that to really question the fears around why I could be so damn scared is to in fact see the scars that are burned into my memory as various emotional energetic traumas that burned me so bad I've created a self-automated defense system to circumvent any possible chance that I would have to face such a point again. 

What is interesting about such a scenario is that by being scared it's like I'm choosing to inject myself with a poison as the needed justification to prevent myself from getting poisoned again...which is really quite the tragic comedy if you will see the irony here in its profoundness of what I resist will persist because I am persistently enabling the resistance as the self-automated defense system to circumvent any possible chance that I would have to face the point again...and so it's not like I am facing the point again as a new time...but constantly keeping alive the old traumatic history of the past continuously repeating a predictable future again and again and again and thus making the change/self-correction to the future next to impossible because of the extensive nature of my self-automated defense systems as the ridiculously absurd rationality of placing an obstacle in front of myself as the means necessary to avoid facing an obstacle.

To see the ridiculous absurdity of perpetuating self-harm out of fear of being self-harmed...is to see our self-responsibility and self-accountability to stop harming our-self here.

The truth hurts when you step out of the lie, so embrace the pain and realize and understand the weakness of character is leaving the body as we build and strengthen our character as the image and likeness of that which is always best for all Life here. Awesomeness Cool.

Day 568 Self-Corrective Investigation

When and as I see the shame that exists within me, I stop and breathe, I direct myself to correct the shameful behaviour as a method of prevention so that I do not accept and allow myself to fall back into a behaviour pattern of shameful acceptances and allowances. I realize and understand that as I effectively face the shame within a point, this seeing the shame is enough for me to want to make sure that I effectively change/correct the point so that I do not disregard what is best for all Life. I commit myself to utilizing the shame within a point to assist and support myself to effectively walk the self-correction/self-commitment.

When and as I see myself taking offense to what I see, I stop and breathe, I face the point within myself. I self-self-reflect. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for separating myself from the point I took offense towards. I realize and understand myself responsibility to investigate all dimensions of my physical being as what I have accepted and allowed. I commit myself to investigating all dimensions of my physicality here.

When and as I see myself harboring a point of blame within myself, I stop and breathe, I investigate the point of blame as the means necessary for self-reflection/self-introspection. I commit myself to let go of every point of blame that exists within myself. I commit myself to prevent a point of blame I see within myself from re-occurring. I commit myself to utilizing my understanding of the absurd ridiculousness of blame as a prevention method to insure that I do not indulge myself within and as point of blame. I commit myself to stop justifying and validating any and all blame.

When and as I see myself getting angry/irritated/frustrated with my acceptance and allowance, I stop and breathe, I realize the shame that exists here and how also this is connected to a point of blame. I see and realize how lame this behaviour is. I direct myself in the moment to walk the self-corrective process so that I immediately stop and prevent any future perpetuation of what is less than what is best for all Life. I commit myself to what is best for all Life.

When and as I see myself creating excuses and limitations upon my physical performance within particular tasks before I even get started within the tasks, I stop and breathe, I realize the absurd ridiculousness of creating a self-imposed wall of limitation for myself. I remove the mental barriers from my mind. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating mental barriers/wall of self-imposed limitation. I push myself to movebeyond the wall and dive into my potential that had been initially suppressed. I commit myself to going into and activating my potential. I commit myself to removing self-imposed mental barriers.

When and as I see myself trying to work something out, I stop and breathe, I look at where there is resistance within myself to the particular point, I face the resistance as the decision for the point to exist within resistance, I forgive the resistance, I change my relationship decision to the point in questioning. I make the commitment to work the point out. I realize and understand I am able and capable to work things out. I commit myself to utilizing all resources available to me in being effective and efficient in working things out. I commit myself to be self-responsible within using my resources here in creating solutions/working things out. I commit myself to working points out in ways that are in alignment as what is best for Life.

When and as I see myself placing feelings/emotions on a point as like looking and judging my particular feelings/emotions about the point as to whether or not I will participate, I stop and breathe, I investigate the nature of my relationship to the point in question. I look to see whether I am creating a distraction for myself as a positive energy feeling or if I am trying to avoid a point of self-support with negative energetic resistance towards participation within the particular point. Based upon the particular energetic nature of the relationship, I push through the resistance and actively participate within the point or stop participation within the point. I use the starting point principle of Equality and Oneness as what is best for all Life so that I am practically able to live prevention as the best cure and within this frame work insure that I care/assist/support Life.

I commit myself to the caring assistance and support that is best for all Life.

I commit myself to making decisions from the starting point of care/assistance/support as what is best for All Life.

I commit myself to stand within the decision of what is best for All Life Here.