Day 680 - Genuine Interest

 



"It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest  difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring."  Alfred Adler


This is a point I have found myself guilty of from time to time. For the most part, I am fascinated in learning more about the specifics of the interests of others. However, I have noticed that from time to time, I can be quite disinterested and dismissive and rather quick to cast judgement. It's deplorable really. You know, it can happen so quick....You see someone at a party or function...and You disregard them because of the way they are dressed...or because of something you heard them say...or you have already formed an overall characterization of the individual based on how you have framed your interpretation of them in relationship to you...and have judgmentally decided that they are not a worthwhile connection for you to foster here....a real disregard taking place here....Or....this has happened in particular instances....where I dismissed myself as not being of enough caliber to associate myself with the likes of that which interests me in getting to know further. Strange relations...

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having allowed relationships with others to suffer as a result of disregarding the other person....persons.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having a self-interested attitude about relationships...where the relationship with another is strictly to feed my self-interest,,,and that we are in relationship because of this particular point of agreed upon interest and or obsession.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having great difficulty developing relationships with others who do not share my primary self-interests and or obsessions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for negating the development of relationships through common mutual interests as a result of getting stuck within the particulars of differentiating interests.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being selfish in taking the time to get to know the overall character of another.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being heavy in judgement in relationship to myself and others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying and judging whether or not it is appropriate for me to show interest in another from the perspective of whether or not another's body language is suggesting to me that they are open and inviting.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to communicate with the types of people who do not present themselves as open and inviting.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for presenting myself as disinterested and the complete opposite of open and inviting.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying and validating myself within being close minded and unapproachable.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying others to be stuck...and fucked in their own close mindedness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being rather dismissive of the overall potential of humanity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to take the initiative to get to know someone who has resistance and is apprehensive about opening themselves up.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being inconsiderate of others who are somewhat close minded.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have existed as rather close minded from the perspective of being dismissive of those who I define as not being totally aligned with my thoughts and interests.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating dissonance in relationship to other people as a result of having reactionary judgement to the particular actions of participation I witness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting my learning potential in moments of dismissiveness where I allow my reaction in a particular moment to get the better of me...and I therefore justify the perpetuation of dissonance in relationship to the person I am in immediate proximity to and towards.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for judging and justifying my status standing of character as being of less than  enough caliber to actually associate with the likes of such and such characters.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent to which the superiority and inferiority interplay of relationships can only exist to the extent to which I accept and allow it to exist within myself....and therefore whenever I am triggered by a particular point of superiority of inferiority, the opportunity is being presented to me as the gifting chance to remediate the relationship disagreement within myself...and therefore my outer world as the mirror of my inner reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the problematic nature of self-interest from the perspective of only really regarding the desires and interests of oneself as being totally and completely separate from the desires and interests of others....to such an extent where the belief exists that it is best to ignore others because that is how I have chosen to treat myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for ignoring others as a result of making believe that I actually want to ignore myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for ignoring myself.

I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding myself within looking at others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for ignoring the support and assistance of others as being integral to the best interest of myself and others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to share interests.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for encouraging selfishness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for justifying selfishness to exist in a polarity relationships to selflessness...as like the marker of either being rich or poor...

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating a polarized dissonance as a result of my relationships towards the words "rich" and "poor".

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for associating rich with superiority and poor with inferiority...and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for perpetuating the continuance of a split/divide between character personas as a result of how I have allowed the word relationships to exist within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding that in fact the best wording and world potential exists in and as each and every single being.

I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding the extent to which my word relationship characterizations have influenced the state of worldly affairs in which exist both inside and outside of myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be limited by emotion and or feeling energetic reactions. I realize how I am able to in fact learn from every emotion and or feeling energetic reaction as a part of the learning process realization in understanding Self here.

When and as I see myself neglecting to regard the interest of another, I stop and breathe...I re-focus my attention upon the interest and service of another...as I see realize and understand the desire to serve...and I see and realize how living in a way that is giving is in fact in the best interest of all Life Here.

I commit myself to Live in a way that is the Best giving to Life.

I realize and understand the effectiveness of relationship agreements is within and as the interest of each other.

I realize and understand that sharing is caring, regardless of whether or not the particular sharing is well received in the moment of sharing.

I realize and understand that We exist here within a time where we are actually learning how to share and care effectively...and that throughout history there has been a polarized dissonance towards sharing and caring.....Sharing and Caring being synonymous key elements to effective harmonious get together's as the key to our Life together here on planet Earth as the way in which best serves the desired interest of all Life Here.

I commit myself to support the development of Life potential.

I commit myself to sharing and caring for Life.

I commit myself to utilizing my vocabulary effectively and efficiently to assist and support the flourishing of Life potential.

I commit myself to enjoying the Creation process.

I commit myself to enjoying the process Journey to Life as What is best for all Life here.

I commit myself to relationship mastery in all ways best for everyone.

Day 628 Conceited

It's Fun Funny and Cool to play with the sounding of words to see what is sometimes missed within and as the actuality of what is here in and as a word relationship as how the letters come together in producing a structured sound expression.

I'm looking at the word "Conceited" Because this is a self-defensive word I have utilized as a tool to propagate the religion of myself as being Superior in competition/comparison/judgement to others. Interestingly enough, this reveals low/inflated self-worth. I believed that it was necessary to sell/promote my self-proclaimed greatness as a way to in fact achieve self-proclaimed greatness. Motivated within and as the desire to be be famous and regarded as Royalty in Superiority, I presented my beliefs/opinions whole heartily, triggering others to fuel my proclamations and stand with my behaviour/programming/words as a result of having the very same desires existent within themselves, however, not necessarily actively engaging desire to the extent in which I have been advocating/living.

CON-SEATED !!!

Notice also how the word "Cite" and "Cited" exists within and as the word "Conceited" and how the spelling of "Cited" is rearranged to spell "Ceited"...as "Con + Ceited = ConSeated"

It's Funny to see the actual play out of Conceited behaviour because it's like trying to encourage a hypnotic trance into getting what you want...Like instead of Asking for what it is that You would Like to Receive, there is this belief that if I deceive and I believe in what is is I am deceiving about...I will Achieve the result I am seeking without being direct in my asking for it...interestingly enough this behaviour is like a "beating around the bush" type of mentality that is the direct result of self-manipulation as a result of the accepted and allowed Fear of Inferiority.

OK, Let's look at a very specific example here:

"Let me tell You how great I am. I am the Best at Everything. Everything I do, I am so good at...I have accomplished this and this and that and this...and let me go on and on about all the things I am capable of...Also that I am not not afraid of this and this and this...which is actually quite impressively and truly remarkable because pretty much everyone is afraid and I am not...I am actually so much better than You..."

OK, the point of my example here is to illustrate the specific nature of "Conceitedness", where a specific desire exists to be regarded/perceived/judged/worshiped/proclaimed/complimented in a particular manner...as like to specifically tell someone what it is You want to hear. I find this really funny, because the ridiculous absurdity of it is not heard at all within the speaker...as like there is a cognitive dissonance towards the joke/funny being parlayed here because of the serious nature of the speaker...as like the roots of the situation are seriously fucked...as Fear...is like fucking our Ears ability to Hear...and so, Fear, is like the price/FARE we pay/speak without realizing and understanding the seriousness and severity of and as our own current situation/problem...and thus we miss the Joke that we are, which in truth is Soooooooo Ridiculously Absurd that it is Funny. Albeit and Arguably So, the truth of Our-self is the Most Unfortunate Tragic Comedy Existence as a Whole has in fact ever Witnessed. Ironically enough, Seeing that our finger pointing judgement/comparison/competition has all been in vain, as the reality of the situation is that we've really just been finger blasting our own Asshole as we did not realize and understand our Equality and Oneness and therefore consequently became the manifestation of and as total fucking assholes here...Not realizing how we've proliferated the belief in our own BULLSHIT by finger fucking our own asshole within our self-judgement/comparison/competition believed and propagated inferiority/superiority complex conditioning behaviour mentality frame of mind.


To Be Continued

Day 606 Emotional Attachment to Money

Why is it that I have an emotional attachment to Money?

Well, I feel safe and secure when I have lots of money in my bank account. Money provides me with a sense of comfort and security of well being. Have I created a false sense of security within myself that is relative to the amount of money I have? I mean, money is a point of practicality within the word in which we live. Money supports our well being here. I need and require money in order to buy food and be able to pay for a place to live. I need money to survive. So, I see that within this desire to survive/fear of not surviving I have derived comfort within having money to spend. I mean, I like spending money on points of luxury...like being able to travel, have a car, have toys to play with...the money to participate within activities. 

I was just looking at my bank account and calculated some upcoming expenses...and also I was looking at the price of the Canadian dollar in relation to the European dollar and the American dollar....and within doing so, I had some reactions of anger/frustration/irritation/annoyance/blame.

Also, I started questioning my initial plans for the upcoming months...I mean I started looking at things more and more because of the fear of loss...like losing the money that currently sits in my bank account...and within this...kind of fretting within my mind... so very concerned...in a slight state of panic/stress/strain upon myself...feeling uncomfortable within the thoughts that as my bank account shrinks and I move into new business ventures without an initial immediate return of income....what if I don't succeed? I mean, shit, the paranoia attached to my money relationship is a most tragic comedy.

So, 

As, I stabilized myself within taking a breath and realizing I am here, I was able to look with clarity at how I had created such an energetic buildup within myself in relationship to my money. 

Obviously it is not cool that the majority of the people on the planet most likely have some sort of emotional attachment to money.

It is not cool that my emotional attachment to money has been a result of competition mentality mind set as the 'desire to win and the fear of losing'...the epitome of a win/loss relationship. I mean, fuck, that type of relationship mind set sucks.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating an emotional attachment to money.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for existing within and as a competitive win/loss relationship with money...where I desire to have more money and I fear loosing all my money.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for defining my comfort and security in relationship to how much money is in my bank account.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create my existence to exist within and as an emotion/feeling state of energy that is directly related to how much money I have.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having suppressed my practical living creative expression and potential expression within garnering an emotional attachment to money.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for creating emotional stress/strain upon my physical body within fearing to lose my money and fearing to not have enough money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the money psychology of our shared reality...and how it exists within and as the fear of loss.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing my life potential within stressing/straining myself about money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for valuing money more than I value my physical well being.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for sacrificing and compromising my physical well being within forming an emotional attachment to money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have suppressed my relationship potential with money as a result of fearing to lose money...and desiring to have more money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having a conflicting relationship with money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have the opportunity to expand my relationship to and as money within letting go of my emotional attachment towards money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I am able to become more intimate within my expression with money as a result of stopping to accept and allow my money movement relationships to be rooted and influenced by fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have the opportunity to develop creative expression with money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for separating myself from and as the money here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding myself as the point of self-determination in deciding and determining the level of connection I have with money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the money delusion of desire as like the beautiful mirage that is always just a little out of reach.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for mind fucking myself in and as a result of creating an emotional attachment to money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for becoming energetically stimulated by money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have moved through my life within a limited capacity as a result of having an emotional attachment to money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having reacted in a spiteful manner to the realization that I have existed within an emotional attachment towards money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being spiteful towards myself in trying to rebel against my emotional attachment to money...by deliberately being careless with my money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing my money movement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting to avoid spending my money as much as possible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for suppressing my money movement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having desired to be reckless with my money in hopes that I will get a big reward for taking a big risk.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for desiring big amounts of money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing big amounts of money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how ridiculously absurd it is to fear money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for treating money as separate from myself here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having defined money to be my artificial life force.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for restricting/resisting my access to money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having a relationship with money based upon self interest.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to let go of the desire for more money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that the desire for more money is the necessary motivation in order to make receiving more money possible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding that I do not in fact require to desire having more money in order for me to be one and equal with receiving/inheriting more money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for thinking I must be deceptively clever in order to receive more money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for doubting my ability to give myself more money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for running away from more money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting to avoid the responsibility that comes with having more money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing the responsibility that comes with having more money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the extent to which my relationship with money has been ridiculously absurd.

Day 602 Conflict of Interest

I find the point of "conflict of interest" to be a ridiculously absurd scenario that is far too regularized within society.

Here is why:

I see that "Interesting" comes from Interest and so I relate the point of "conflict of interest" to that of "Conflict of Stimulation"...Meaning that it is Obviously All about being Stimulated....and being Stimulated particularly in the right way...you know the right kind of stimulation....which is an interesting thing within and of itself, because getting rubbed the wrong way is stimulation too.

So, 

I notice, "Conflict of Interest" to be about unfavorable masturbation....I mean getting rubbed the wrong way.

What the fuck is unfavorable masturbation?

Unfavorable masturbation I see as having 2 main outflows:

1)Mental masturbation: getting worked-up/stimulated emotionally about something. To put it bluntly, being triggered and reacting to some dumb ass bull shit

The irony is that all forms of mental masturbation are self induced. And being triggered by some sophisticated clever intellectual shit is one and the same as reacting to some dumb as bull shit.

I see that this is a consequence of being addicted to fucking with yourself to such an extent that you believe you can't have the good fucking without the bad fucking.

What a stupid rationalization this is, "You can't have the good without the bad".  This induces the mentality that you must be bi-polar. Like, in a win/loss relationship with yourself. Fighting for peace. Like deliberately giving yourself pain/grief/sorrow/depression/despair as the necessary chemical concoctions believed to be necessary to extract the experiences of ecstasy/pleasure/relief/happiness. 

2) Physical Masturbation triggered by Mental Masturbation: jerking off to porn/desire/fantasy...rubbing one out because you're all worked up.

Now, some of you may be wondering like, 'what the fuck'...how the fuck am I suppose to rub one out...or, 'oh shit, rubbing one out with porn is a conflict of interest'...what the fuck, I don't get it...or maybe something along the lines of, 'you think what I am saying is total bullshit'...and well...fuck...if there's been any reaction to my words...than I've just helped you rub one out...triggering your conflict of interest....how stimulating....

To Be Continued

Day 580 Gifting Myself within Self-Reflection

Continuing from my previous blog:

"I teach a particular child once a week for many consecutive weeks and this particular child reflects the points that I have attempted to hide from myself and what is interesting about this...is that I've resisted to investigate the extensiveness to which this child reflects points that exist within myself. So much so, that in many moments I would simply try to ignore the sounds coming from this particular child, because I was trying to protect myself from facing the points of self-correction within myself that are most unfortunate...and in this way...I see and realize my minds tendency within my self-created auto defense systems as a way to prevent me from really facing the roots of a point within total self-reflection...

So this particular child so clearly embodies the point of stimulation for self-satisfaction and is quite effective in directing/orchestrating his own personal self-stimulation and amusement as his constant continuous motion without particular regard for how his desire for self-stimulation and self-satisfaction impacts and influences those around him."


I see how throughout my life time I've been quite effective in directing/orchestrating my own personal self-stimulation and amusement as my constant and continuous motion without particular regard for how my desire for self-stimulation and self-satisfaction impacts and influences those around me.



The questions come up within myself: 



"Is it not each individual's self-responsibility to direct our individual self-stimulation....self-satisfaction...and amusement?"



"Is it wrong for me to exist the way I have existed?"



"Am I trying to justify self-interested pre-occupation when in fact I exist in a time/space reality that requires extensive assistance and support in re-aligning the framework rules to support what is best for all Life."



"Do I fear letting go of my personal self-interest?"



"What else do I know besides my personal self-interest?"



"How would I exist here if I moved out of a desire based starting point of self-interest pre-occupation?"



"Should not the point of living here be for everyone to have the opportunity to investigate and explore their personal self-interests?"



"Why am I resistant to fully letting go of my personal self-interests when I know and realize our shared reality requires serious changes in order to assist and support all Life here as what is best? Would this not be a point of serious change?"



"Do I see how I argue for my own self-imposed limitation within justifying/desiring to spend my time within recreational/leisurely pursuits when our shared reality requires intensive labor investigative pursuits in order to stop the heinous abuse that is perpetuated as a result of disregarding what is best for all Life here?"



"Why have I allowed myself to regard my-self as separate from everything else here?"



"Is believing Self to be separate from everything else here easier to justify the use of blame and abdication of personal self-responsibility and self-accountability"



"Do I see how I have not really understood the extent of self-interest in the greatest most profound sense because I resisted living from the starting point of Equality and Oneness in every moment?"



"Do I see how self-interest from a starting point of self being separate from everything here creates a disharmony as a cognitive dissonance to the understanding and self-realization of what is best for all Life here...and how regard for self-interest in the most profound sense is the regard for what's best for all Life...as that's the best self-interest....the only real self-interest....because anything else is less than considering all Life One and Equal Here?"

Day 565 Decision to Self-Investigate Self-Interest

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having polarized ideas about 'self-interest'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having feared to meticulously examine/investigate my self-defined self-interests.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for associating 'self-interests' with individuality and self-expression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a cognitive dissonance to exist in relationship to the word 'self'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how my perception is skewed and distorted within the belief and acceptances and allowances of different individual self-interests.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having a hard time to see a collective self-interest here...as like this One Life Here in which we are all a part of.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being defensive in wanting to protect and defend and keep myself occupied within my individual character persona defined self-interests.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to keep investigating the question what will I do and how will I exist if I let go of my individual self-interest.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for connecting individual self-interests to my personal entertainment/desired stimulation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being addicted to my established preferred forms of personal entertainment/desired stimulation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to see how I can expand my potential influence here within our shared physical reality by letting go of personal entertainment/desired stimulation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for connecting my personal satisfaction and happiness to be dependent upon having the ability to exercise at my leisure the various forms of personal entertainment/desired stimulation that I have a my disposal. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for choosing to resist seeing that if I let go of the illusion/veil of ignorance that I myself am separate from all Life here...that I can begin to recreate myself here within and as the understanding of myself as Life as Equality and Oneness and therefore I would move out of the arena of free choice and the ability to choose to focus my attention on gratifying particular preferred methods of stimulation/entertainment. I realize and understand the point of personal self-responsibility that exist within myself to stand in and as support for all Life here. I realize and understand focusing my attention on having particular desired experiences doesn't really take into account my personal self-responsibility to all Life here. I realize and understand it is extremely selfish for me to focus my the starting point of my Life on the individual pursuit of having as many positive stimulating experiences as possible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for associating the relationship with self-interest to be based upon generated particular positive energetically stimulated experiences within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for choosing to be numb within the desire to be stimulated constantly with a positive energetic charge.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for disregarding the consequences of focusing my attention upon indulging within my individual defined self-interests based upon the point of stimulating me in a positive manner of enjoyment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be controlled and regulated by positive energetic stimulation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have built up a dependency upon existing within the focal point of having my particularly preferred forms of external stimulation as to induce my personal experience of comfort and relaxation without regard for the consequences of my participations because the positive feeling experience I illicit within my indulgences dehydrates me and makes me thirsty for more in like a never ending pursuit of trying to quench my thirst/appetite within my addiction to positive energetic stimulation that perpetuates the pattern of self-destruction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being reluctant to see how I can in fact step out of the behaviour patterned program of self-destruction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how my individual pursuit of self-interested indulgences/entertainment has perpetuated the behaviour patterned program of self-destruction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to lose the individual pursuit of desired forms of stimulation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I have perpetuated the pursuit of desired stimulation through and as the fear of loss...as like the fearing to miss out on a particular opportunity. I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding the irony within the fear of loss...as like the loss that is accelerated indefinitely through the perpetuation and and starting point roots of fearing to loss. I forgive myself for not realizing and understanding how I have programmed myself to lose as a result of being/becoming the very embodiment of what I fear. I realize and understand my abilities and capabilities to reverse engineer the win/loss relationship which is rooted in and as the fear of loss...to a relationship agreement rooted in and as win/win relationship of life and death...where Life and death no more have to be polarized within and as a win and a loss. I realize and understand the fear of death as like the ultimate loss is ridiculously absurd.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that I can become lost within death.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having feared death.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for regarding death as the ultimate loss.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a polarized relationship association with Life and Death. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for regarding Life as positive and Death as Negative.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how I programmed a veil of ignorance within my perception within the belief conditioning that death is bad and Life is good. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for polarizing existence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding how self-interest is less than what is the best interests of all Life here when and as one exist within the mind frame of polarity based energetic relationship associations with a spectrum of judgement of Life value. I realize and understand the disharmony that is created within and as the result of existing within a skewed value scale of personalized self-interest were some aspects of Life are given VIP status and some aspects of Life are regarded with a diminished less than value. I realize and understand the insanity of disregarding the Equality and Oneness of All Life Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to investigate the self-defined values I have given to the various points of self-interest that exist within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the shame in neglecting to take self-responsibility for the skewed energetic valued relationships I have accepted and allowed to remain hidden from self-responsibility and self-accountability within and as the process of purifying my being here as Equal and One with All Life Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to stop fearing myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having become dependent upon stimulating an energetic experience through the perpetually accepted and allowed fear/conflict/friction that exists within myself as a result of choosing to be polarized within indecision.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing the change that is possible within myself as a result of dropping my focus attention of pursuits of individual pursuits of self-interest to practical living solutions that are best for all Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for subscribing to the belief and idea that what is best for all Life is me pursuing my individual desires.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for neglecting to see the consequence that exists within the designed nature of our shared reality as a resulting pursuit of self-interested desires at the expense of another losing their self-interested desires because of the polarized relationship of one winning at the expense of another losing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having been apathetic to the co-existence of all Life here within and as the perfect harmony of individual self-expression as what is best for all Life here because within and as the consideration of what is best for all Life here, each individual benefits and prospers exponentially because of the massive compounding interest of sharing the same valuation of Life as being of the highest/greatest value.

Day 559 Practical Living Beyond Pursuit of Desire

I had some judgement come up within my mind today about why I am not further pursuing desires that are readily available to me. 

At the moment I am living in a world class ski resort community and I am fortunate in having a job that is a lot of fun. My job is skiing, specifically teaching people how to ski. I've been teaching 5 or 6 days a week. This week I had 2 days off from work...and the initial impulse is that I should go skiing...because that is what the majority of people do when they are not teaching...they just ski for themselves in their spare time. I've committed myself to working on other various projects, and within self-honesty I see that it is best if I take some time away from the ski hill. Taking the time away from the ski hill has got my backchat going in my mind as like questioning and doubting myself for taking the time to work on other things that go beyond the leisurely pursuits of skiing. It's funny how shit has come up in my mind to kind of justifying that I should capitalize on more skiing opportunities because it's instantly available to me without any monetary costs. The point comes up...why wouldn't I ski all day everyday if I am able and capable to. I see how this point justifies living in the pursuit of fulfilling desires when a person has the means and the opportunity to do so. I see and realize how there is much work to be done in sorting out our shared reality for the betterment of all Life here. I see and realize how if I do not discipline myself within and as the self-responsibility to committing myself to push myself within labored pursuits that support myself and all life here...than I am just wasting my time and disregarding what is best for all Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having thought of justification within regards to focusing on desire and playing around within entertainment/recreation because I have basically unlimited access.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding myself responsibility within standing here as an example/question/answer/solution as what is best for all Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having considered self imposed restraints upon increasing extra curricular activities that are in alignment with what is best for all Life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be tempted by desire to spend my free time skiing. I realize and understand that I am fortunate to be earning my wages working in a way that is fun and encourages myselfexpression here and that this gives me opportunity to immerse myself in further developing myself expression in other labored pursuits that would be to the benefit of all Life here...like for example working on my Desteni I Process Assignments, Doing Research for the Equal Life Foundation to support the development and growth of the Living Income Guaranteed, Blogging, Vlogging, Assisting and supporting the sharing of blogs and vlogs of other Destonians, watching and reading vlogs and blogs of fellow Destonians, Taking the time to give myself the support of listening to Eqafe Interviews, working on my Stand-Up Comedy and making the necessary preparations/plans so I can be effective and efficient in my business/entrepreneurial pursuits. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding the shame within having chosen so many times in the past to neglect moving from within the starting point of what is best for all Life..as like choosing to chase after desire/entertainment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for resisting to be as disciplined as possible with my time here so that If I die at any given moment I have no regrets that I was not wasting even a second of my time lost within my mind in the pursuit of self-interest indulgences.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for burdening myself with the shame and regret that exists within me as a result of seeing and realizing how much time has already been squandered within and as my participations within our shared reality here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for being neglectful/wasteful/abusive of all Life here within choosing to spend my time focused on my individual desires as much as possible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realizing and understanding what a travesty to Life it is to spend the majority of one's time in the pursuit of self-interested indulgences/desires when there is so much injustice/suffering/abuse existent within our shared reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for having existed within the mind set that as long as I care a little bit and want the problems of the world system to be corrected, that that is in fact enough and I can then be justified and validated according to my logical self-manipulation that I am doing enough to manifest practical living changes that are best for all Life Here. I realize and understand the shameful regret within believing that someone else will take self-responsibility for our shared reality when I have the opportunity to practically live this and I have moment where I resist and neglect moving myself as much as I am physically able and capable of doing so. I realize and understand I have this one Life here to do as much as I am physically able and capable of doing to assist and support the development of earth becoming a place of support for all Life here. I realize and understand myself responsibilities within the world system in and as the standing as the question/the answer/and the solution.

I commit myself to doing everything within my abilities and my capabilities to assist and support Life in all ways that are best for all Life here.

I commit myself to dedicating this one Life here to the labored work required in manifesting Heaven on Earth.

I commit myself to give up the preference for focusing on the pursuit of my every individual desire.

I commit myself to practical living what is best for Life.

I commit myself to the self-honesty required in standing as what is best for all Life Here.

I commit myself to moving as effectively and efficiently as possible in the Desteni I Process Pro.

I commit myself to blogging the 7 Year Journey to Life Daily.

I commit myself to Vlogging as a point of self-support within sharing common sense and practical living solutions that are best for all Life here.

I commit myself to living the communication of words as like seeds of awareness that will grow throughout existence in and as physical-expressions that support and assist what is best for Life.

I commit myself to realizing and understanding the communication of words as like the living unity of of and as the Common Sense Come on Life Community Assistance and Support that is Always Best.

I commit myself to standing alone as all one and together with each being here standing alone as we all share this one Life here.

I commit myself to developing and enhancing my creativity in and as my abilities/capabilities to physically express myself here and to speak the message of Oneness and Equality.

I commit myself to using Stand Up Comedy as Vehicle of assistance and support in exposing the tragic comedy that exists here as a result of and as our acceptances and allowance as humanity. Within this, I commit myself to providing self-direction as answers and solutions to effectively self-correcting the situations that exist within our shared reality.

I commit myself to working together with and as Life Here within self-solidarity, self-responsibility and self-accountability of and as what is best for all Life Here.

I commit myself to assisting and supporting the purification and effective implementation of Vocabulary as the Living Words/Seeds of Life which facilitates and enables the expansion of physical self-expression here as that which is always best.

I commit myself to walking as part of the Desteni Group.

I commit myself to the self-honesty and self-trust within seeing/realizing/understanding how to practically walk the 7 year Journey to Life and Birth Myself as Life born from within and as physicality Here.