Day 659 - Creation and How to Make it Happen

I've noticed an interesting thing within my life in terms of creating things for myself. That being in many instances I require to "just go for it" and some instances even "dare myself to go there".

Why do I say "just go for it" and "dare myself to go there"?

I've noticed that within myself, fear has been a mitigating factor...a controlling factor really....a deal breaker...something that superimposes me to not actually want to create/express myself beyond my current status of acceptances and allowances.

Lets look at how I started dating my first girlfriend: She was a girl who I didn't really know all that well...other than that she played some sports at the high school I attended and that I was attracted to her looks and the fact that she was interested in sports. Also, we both had the same english teacher....I had the teacher first period...and she had the teacher second period...and oh ya....our lockers were near by one another.

So, what is interesting here is that we would cross paths within our day and we kind of looked at each other but didn't say anything to each other. This went on for a little bit. I decided that I wanted to talk to her and get her phone number so I could further get to know her because She was interesting to me. Anywho, I planned to talk to her and tell her I had been noticing her around and that I would like to get her phone number.

Interestingly enough, when the time came to actually say hi to her and share with her what I planned to say...its like I panicked...and was faced with this wall of resistance...nervousness....fear...doubt...uncertainty as to whether or not I would get her number. It's like I was paralyzed in actually moving the point and seeing if I could make something happen here...


So, after having accepted and allowed myself to back out of daring to express myself to her...I decided to make a plan that I would do it at this specific time in the future...because I believed it to be when I would next cross paths with her as our schedules normally intersected at this specific duration within the school day. However, as opportunities are often presented unexpectedly, I was back to my locker unexpectedly after an exam...and she too was at her locker...this was not in my planning...I wanted more time...I wasnt ready I believed to actually face her in communication according to my mind of my acceptances and allowances....

I saw the point of resistance/hesitance/ingrained fear here...and I decided to just go for it...I mean I already even had it all planed out as to what I wanted to say to her.

So, I did get her phone number.

I wouldn't have got her phone number if I didn't "make it happen".

Though, now I was faced with the point of actually calling her....which was a fearful thing to me at the time...I mean it's really some irrational fear here...like fear of rejection...fear of things not working out as I would like them to. Though what is interesting about this is that...by not doing anything...I am stuck within the point of nothing really happening/developing.

So I decided to just go for it..despite experiencing some anxiety/fear/nervousness/resistance about doing so,

I made it happen by dialing her phone number and calling her.

It really isn't that physically demanding to dial a phone number...though I had made the experience seem like an arduous task.

Calling her a second time was easier than the first time.

After talking on the phone I decided to ask her on a date.

I made it happen by asking her.



So from my example sharing here, can you see how I created a relationship? Do you see how I "made it happen"?

In looking specifically at the creation process, it's a physical movement...a communication...a specifically structured self-willing expression of oneself here.


I like the statement: "Ask and you shall receive"

This does not necessarily mean you are going to get what you ask for....but it does in fact mean you will get a response/feedback....whether it is the response you are looking for or it is not.  The practically of asking questions is that we "Create" process and progress which assists and supports further development/creation.

Say you are wanting to ask someone for help but you fear them neglecting to help you....well, ironically enough you are not helping yourself by not asking for help. In fact you are getting exactly what it is you don't want by accepting and allowing the fear that you don't want to take precedence over the potential of the possibility of making what it is you do want to happen.


Another example:

Creating an activity for myself and others:

Often after school I would arrange road hockey games. I really liked to play hockey as a child. I would call up every friend in the neighborhood to see who was interested in playing hockey. I would tell my brother to call all his friends in neighborhood to see who wanted to play hockey.

I made the decision that I wanted to play a game of hockey.

I took the "initiative" to facilitate the happening of the hockey game.

I made it happen.


What's interesting to see here within this hockey game example is that prior to me making the call....no one else had taken the "initiative" to making a hockey game happen. It's not to say, nobody wanted to play hockey...because in fact many people often played when I would make my round of calls to see who was interested in taking part in the game.


Let's now look at another example in regards to organizing social endeavors:

So, there was a time when I felt jaded about being the guy who was always making the plans for things to happen....and so I decided that I didn't want to take the "initiative" anymore and that I would just accept invitations or reject invitations to social endeavors that someone else put in the time to orchestrate.
What I noticed within this approach is that I was making a big deal about taking "initiative" and "making things happen"...and that I was being quite stubborn in neglecting the CREATION of Awesomeness.


Another example:

How I met my second girlfriend:

So, I noticed that I was generally neglecting to really genuinely express myself to girls in which I was attracted to....like the point of fear/self-consciousness/nervousness existed...

So, I decided that I am just going to go for it and be outward in my self-expression and that I am totally fine with whether or not my self-expression is well regarded. I figured this to be a cool point, because I was sharing myself and not holding myself back...and therefore I was CREATING the opportunity for something to develop and unfold by daring to exist within the unknown of a moment/situation...and that by taking this approach...I would have no regrets because I actually wouldn't be able to wonder about if  I actually went where I resisted going...or did what I resisted doing...or said what I was really thinking..

So, I was out at the pub this very night....and I had actually written about how I do not need a relationship with anyone and that I am perfectly content with being a single dude here....yet at the same time I was kind of seeing that by having a solid relationship with myself, the potential exists to have a solid relationship with anyone...and so, I was kind of thinking that I don't need a "special" relationship with One person....I can have relationships with all sorts of girls.

Anywho, as I was heading outside for a smoke, this girl caught my attention as we were crossing paths...and it was quite crowded and loud within the pub...and as we were in the midst of crossing paths, I decided that I would put my hand out and say and gesture "high-five" to her. She went for my high-five...and when she did, I gently squeezed her hand and moved inward and looked her in the eyes and said, "i just wanted to tell you that I thing your beautiful"...and then I let go of her hand and continued on my way out of the pub to have a smoke.

As I was coming back into the pub...it just so happened that the girl saw me...and she yelled to me "High-five"...and we locked eyes for a moment...and I was happy to see her and her outgoing response towards me...and I decided to go for a hug....and we hugged and after we chatted for a good little while and we found out that we had some common interests and that we were both in the midst of reading the same book.

The interesting thing about this example is that nothing would have developed here if I did not take the initiative to "make something happen". We dated for a good two years.


OK, another example:

So, I had been playing around within the point of stand up comedy and I had been writing stuff and also sharing what I thought was so awesome...specifically, "the Science of Awesome"....So, the "Science of Awesome" for those who haven't been privy to being educated within this Science:

'Do You Know why Awesome is so Awesome?'

'Because it's Awe So Me!

'You Know, because Awesome is always, all ways AWE-SO-ME'....and that's why when you say and see something that is Awesome, You are like, AWE, that is SO, ME! AWESOME! Because there is always Some Awe with Awesome....and it Takes One to Know One...and TAG, You're It!...and that's why the More You Know Awesome, the More You are It....because that's fucking Awesome....and when You Get it....You Got it!  Get it? Got It! Good!

"Do you know why Good is so Good?"

"Because Good is like God....But, with an Extra O.....And that is why multiple O's are so Good. Because it's like good god ohhhh god that's Gooooooooood.

"Get it, Got it, Good!"

"Fucking Awesome"

"Awe Ya"


Lol, pardon my silliness.


Ok, back to my story...about stand up comedy and the sharing of the Science of Awesome....

So, I had shared this science with many, many, many people....and the science was well received....I mean it is pretty fucking awesome.

Anywho, so I know the Science of Awesome is Awesome...I mean I wrote the science....and it had been peer reviewed countless times....

I remember being at the comedy club one time and I shared the science with a bunch of comedians that performed that night...I wasn't performing that night...but had took the initiative to shoot the shit with the comics afterwards and express my enjoyment about their performances. So, we get to joking around and I share my bit about Awesome and Good...and the comic I regard as the most talented in the bunch...tells me that I'm on another level than him....that this is some holy shit...

So, I get cool feedback from the comics as a result of making/taking the initiative to compliment their performances. I end up leaving the club with all the comics and going to one of their places to continue joking around...

So, cool learning and sharing's opened up as a result of making a point of expressing myself..

Note: I didn't know how things would unfold within expressing myself...however, it is cool to see how cool opportunities are often synonymous within creating the space to express and articulate ourselves.

Ok, the story continues....

So, a comedian I had been really enjoying at the time was coming to town.....I decided I was going to share the Science of Awesome with him...and basically wow him to the point where he's going to give me an opportunity to fast track myself within the world of stand up comedy....

So, I see the dude's show...and I am face to face with him after the show shaking hands....and I......

accept and allow myself to be influenced by fear/resistance....and I hold back from sharing the Science of Awesome with him.

How Unfortunate.

What a tragic comedy really...

There was potential in that moment to share the Science of Awesome with a comic I regarded as pretty fucking awesome...and I feared not getting his approval.


So,


When we allow ourselves to stand within and as the starting point of Creation/Expression Here...there exists no loss...fear of loss.....because we are Giving Everything we Got to Give in that Moment as the unconditional expression/movement/creation of ourself Here....and we are in fact living up to Our Potential.....Which, in and of itself,.....

is.....


Pretty Fucking Awesome!

Day 653 - Surprise is the Sure Prize and Sure Price?

It's fascinating to see how I have in many instances...

Actually resisted giving myself the surprise...

As the point of pushing into the unknown of myself here because there is no "energy" and "motivation" to do so...

Like there is no pulling and or pushing "Energy Experience" inside myself to do/create from moment to moment that is like this impulse....

Yet, what I find interesting about this...

Is,

.........,

At the same time,

..........,

There is......

This....

 Very Physical Point of Myself Existing Here.

 Me.,

 The Starting Point

of....

and as.....

 Me/My Being Here...

 Which,

 Is Always....

 All ways about pulling and pushing things open

 As the movement of me here

To

Explore/Play/Work/Develop/Create

Responsibilities.

I experience myself in many moments missing this "Self-Innovation Responsibility" of myself here...,

As a result of negating and neglecting to develop and open up the potential surprise and sure prize...

As the exploration into and as the unknown will surely bring forth new insight,,,

Which is obviously a sure price to pay....

Because isn't self-discovery and self-awareness the sure price...

When and as One is all ways willing to invest...

As our time here,

Because our ability to in fact enjoy our time here comes from and as our awareness here,

Being able to direct our response able connections/relations

Within and as the expression of self-awareness and Self-Responsibility.

This being our Why and Who and how of What We in Fact are.....





What am I exploring about directing and responding in accordance with our awareness?



Self-movement, self-actuality, self-creation, our potential, innovation, exploration, discovery, insight, uncovering, new development, process and progress, learning, new, education, standing status, increased potential.....etc...etc..

So,

to be more specific here in the moment:


I am looking at how and why it is there has been such a hesitance and resistance to actually creating a full time vocation to the innovation of Awesomeness and Cool in and as my expression of myself here from moment to moment ?..........

So,

Specifically,

I am seeing how there is things/activities/points that i see as being interesting and cool to explore.....BUT....have not actually pushed myself into moving through and developing because I do not know what the Prize and Price will be at/as the harvest of my fruits/labor...., which is interesting in and of itself because it's like I justify not testing and exploring the depths of my capacity because I don't know what they are and I cannot actually see them...so therefore kind of artificially inducing the logic that because I don't know/see it....then it can not in fact exist...

and here the kicker...

the kick starter...

as the potential that I am, always exists here....

yet the potential that I create is the...

in the moment movement of myself that can only be witnessed as myself in and as the moment I make the decision to participate within and as the exercising my movement/potential here....

which is fascinating because as I actually dare to move/explore/investigate/play/work,

I in fact actually act out  my response abilities to and as what is in fact best for Life....,

which is in fact interesting and fascinating within and as how the process of and as my self-creation/innovation in fact works here as the labor of movement/birth/breath/physicality here.



Why is the question?

the King of the Quests.....

yes, WHY, is in fact the Question.

When You Ask WHY....You Get to Know HOW and WHO.....because HOW and WHO are related to WHY....because HOW and WHO were created and innovated through WHY....

I say through WHY...because it is a passing on type of process as in and how it is in fact that we create/move/share/develop/grow/learn.....

Sharing is Caring principle at work/play here....

because,

as the cause that be....,

this is the essential ingredient/recipe in putting together the whole picture/puzzle that originated as the WHY....

and since we are WHY...

We know HOW and WHO...

because we are also the WHO and the HOW because all LIFE is ALWAYS Relative,

which is fascinating in and of itself because all Life is always here within and as the CREATION PROCESS HERE.

It's FUN and Fascinating to explore our potential as we enable ourself to move for the sake of moving as the exercising, working and playing of and as our Natural Learning Ability here.

What is so cool about this, is that, we are essentially a "Surprise".

The saying comes to mind: "Life is full of Surprises".....which I see can also mean....Life Is Full of Itself.....Which I see is; Within and so Without.....Internal equals External...

So, is "Surprise" in and of itself an expression and explanation of Our actual Potential Here?

Is Life not the Prize and Price all  must pay/give/receive?

Would it not be silly to disregard the value of All Life Here?

If One disregards aspects of Life Here...Does that mean, One is in fact disregarding the existence of their Life Here and therefore All Life Here....because, are not all Lives here connected to this One Life we are all existing within Here?

SO,

Is it important to give surprises to one another?

Is giving someone a surprise like giving someone a gift?

Is Our Life not the most valued Gift Here that has been given/bestowed to us Here?


Does it make sense that, that which has not been Forgiven has not been given for myself?

Am I able to Give Forgiveness to myself in every moment all of the time so that Everything/All of My Life is Given/Received/Lived/Expressed/Cherished...?

Is Self-forgiveness the Key/Tool to Receiving/Accessing/Unlocking/Opening Myself Up Here as the Kingdom of Heaven?

Would Life itself not be a complete surprise as the manifested expression of the Kingdom of Heaven in All it's Glory?



Looking more at "Surprise"... surname...sur-prize......"sur" the prefix meaning: "over, above, and in addition to"....survive...surcharge...survey....very sure......as above and so below....Life and Death is beyond Survival.....Death is In Life and Life is In Death....So,.. AS Within and So Without.....LIFE IS WITHOUT DEATH AND DEATH IS WITHOUT LIFE.....LIKE, Oneness and Equality together as our weather that creates the flow of the expression we sew as the fabric of Life we play with here.....

Interesting to see the parallels within our Life Fabric/Substance here and Our Fabrications here as the make up marker, covering up what is already here and clear as the purity of Nature.

Day 641 Tree Planting Chapter 5 Moving Myself

 

Tree Planting Chapter 5 Moving Myself

So, In order to move myself effectively whether I am tree planting or not...I have noticed the self-commitment required as a point of determining   the focus concentration and self expression of the movement. I have noticed that when I would allow myself to move from a starting point of having judgement within myself about a particular point of participation....that my ability to function and move at my best ability within the moment is so suppressed as a result of holding onto the emotion and then not wanting to really move...because there is this emotion and judgement about the point...and so there is a hindrance within the ability to really express self in and as the moment.

So, I see/realize and understand the practical living support in creating goals/challenges

Like for instance within tree planting...as l allowed myself to motivate myself within the point of wanting to actually do the work...I was eager to actually be as efficient and effective within the work I was doing.

I see realize and understand the value of efficient effective and diligent work.

I see the practically in moving myself within specific applications despite my mind desires of wanting to do something else when I have a specific application that I would actually like to get done. 

I see/realize and understand the decision within the moment, as my "will" to make it happen...despite the momentary thought that comes up within my mind as resistance to getting'r done.

Day 638 Tree Planting Chapter 2

It's interesting to see how each of us is the starting point of integral importance in self-determining our effectiveness within and as the point.

Let me clarify here, what it is that I mean:

This morning I noticed many thoughts coming up within my mind as to why it is that i should take the day off of work today. I had many "valid" justifications come up within my mind that were "sound" arguments. I just looked at point after point come up within my mind...as like my mind was forming a case for me...like in defense of me going to work...what is interesting about all of this...is that I actually wanted to go to work.

So, I went to work despite having all these thoughts saying I should not go to work.

Interesting, how part way through the day at work...as I was finishing my lunch...there was a return of the thoughts of "giving up...giving in to justification of mind"...which is interesting because, again, I could see/realize/understand what was happening here...and so, again, I decided to push the point and get myself moving into my tree planting.

What's also interesting here...is that there was a point within my work day...where I became aware of the fact that someone I didn't expect to be yielding better results/performance than me, was in fact doing so...I mean I knew exactly what it was I was doing...and like how strong an output I was generating...in terms of the labored intensity I was putting into the tree planting. OK, so, I noticed a point of ridiculous absurdness...where I didn't ever expect this work colleague of mine to ever perform the tree planting task better than me...I mean to the point where it was like me regarding myself as always superior to this particular being...regardless of circumstances...and I mean this was a "what the fuck situation"...because I noticed...that I went into a "foul mood"...a form of "self-victimization" when I realized that I was apparently "losing in my mind"...in accordance with  my shaped reality outlook about my work colleague. This brought insight into the point that, I was quite enjoying the experience of myself within the work I was doing before I became aware of the statistics of the situation. So, I saw/realized/understood the absurd ridiculousness of the situation...realized that it is not cool to harbor self-limiting judgement and doubt about another...and that these particular views in which I was holding onto about my work colleague in fact reflect and presented to me points about my character personality here...where sometimes, I would doubt my potential and capability to challenge a particular frame of mind that I am in...like emotion/thought/feeling...And I mean obviously this was a cool point of self-reflection for today because I continued to push that point for myself...and really show myself that I can move beyond the particular mind sets that come up within a moment as like temporary distractions that act as like road barriers...only if I choose to allow myself to be bothered by the obstacles/barriers...which is interesting...because in garnering insight into how the mind operates...what I have noticed is that my mind is like fishing for energy in particular moments sometimes..as like to hook my attention onto something..as a point of conflict...so the friction can produce an energetic pull on my body to cause strain/stress all in all just perpetuating a cognitive dissonance from really truly expressing myself in my moment to moment movement as the self-expression I am as the starting point of and as self-direction here.

Moving On,

Food is Awesome support. What I became really appreciative of today...was the taking of time to really enjoy a little snack...like a a point of reward/treat for yourself as a result of staying focused/working hard on a point...and taking the few moments as a treat/reward...but really...it's a giving of yourself support...like a necessary support...like taking a few moments to relax...so that you can continue onward within and as a point of regimented discipline and focus...and to assist and support body stability within process participation here...I see that it is really important to express ourselves within and as the food that we enjoy eating. Like all the little nuances about how we go about taking those few minutes...or five minutes....or ten minutes...or 15 minutes even...for ourselves to stretch out...and enjoy some sort of food and or drink...as like the treat(s) we are choosing to treat ourselves with. It's interesting to see how we in fact treat ourselves here...and how we in fact sometimes neglect to really treat ourselves...I mean like what the fuck...I mean isn't life suppose to be like one big treat...a present...as the present is our presents here...and the more were tune in to see what is here the more we can receive all that is here to receive...


I asked a buddy at work today how his day had been going today...half expecting to get a complaint or a positive response that was out of the ordinary...which is interesting because I got exactly an extraordinary response...which was quite simplistic...and the best answer I have every heard from someone responding to the question, "how is your day at work going"...

So, He said, something along the lines of, "All the days are the same to me...there all good...the only day that is maybe a little extra sweeter than the rest...is my last day of work..."

This is the Awesome practical living attitude. I was just looking at this outlook in regards to life and death..as like living your day by day...and the death bed being even sweeter...as like no regrets...seeing/realizing/understanding self-here...welcoming a point coming to a close. As something ends...something else begins...in the end it begins...and ya...appreciation of the process unfolding here...enjoying the journey...and getting to the destination as like just a little bit sweeter as like that final yabadabdoo in the sense of steps accumulating towards mission accomplished.


A couple more points I would like to open up here:

Force of Competition...what is the motivating force behind Elite performance within competition?

Starting point of Competition...Self-Here..and the challenges/responsibilities we take on as who we are...which is winning/winning...because within and as our self-determination as our steadfast self-discipline we cannot really fail...because any perceived failure...is part of the process to becoming better and better...and is a point of recognition...where we enable our self to look at what it is we did and didn't do...and what another did or didn't do...and we can therefore self-reflect constructively within competition...as like a point of sharing and caring here...as like how we play with one another here...as like how we say friendly competition....and the point that seemingly opens up and wraps itself up here is that we are the staring point of and as friendly competition...meaning the level of self-intimacy we have with our self...will determine the level of competitiveness we will be willing to exercise within and as our self-movement here...in and as our self-expression.

Competition in the truest sense of the meaning is the support and assistance of self-perfection...and challenging the acceptances and allowances of what is best to get even better...so that what is best can be even better than it was...as like the process of and as self-improvement...until there is no more limit...like achieving limitless possibilities...as the whole point always around...like always here...all dimensions in tact...like...god almighty holy shit...yet...no more no less than the rest...as like one and equal with all here. Self Here.

So, self-realization leads into self-perfection which leads into self here....as got it...got the point...god it..living it...life

So, self-perfection is like the competition going on here...where we are all in the process of supporting and assisting You's and Me's within and as the point of self-reflection...as like all is in this friendly competition and journey together and the point is for us to see/realize/understand our self here so that we can actually come to agreement on the terms of our playing field here....as it is important to remember...what is a friendly little competition within getting a bit better...the better bit is a win/win...as each bit contributes to the win. As above and so below. So within and So without. One and Equal.

Day 637 Tree Planting Introduction and Chapter 1

OK, So, I am here in Vanderhoof British Colombia at the moment in a motel apartment.  I am tree planting for the next three months. Staying in a motel apartment while tree planting is considered luxurious accommodations. Most people who go tree planting stay in a bush camp somewhere in the middle of nowhere...meaning when you get home from work...you got to your tent...camping...camping sounds cool when you doing it in the middle of somewhere or when it is somewhat short lived as like a little vacation....but, when it is snowing off and on the first couple of weeks of the season...camping loses some of it's appeal...not to mention the shower setup in a bush camp...where maybe the first dozen...if that...get a warm shower...from the make shift shower trailer...and then everyone else is stuck with cold water...or just neglect the shower point all together because it's cold outside at night..and you just are soooooo tired that you cant be bothered. Oh ya, I mentioned I am in motel apartment...this is somewhat of a dream tree planting contract...the kind of contract...I heard rumors about in my earlier seasons...that just seemed almost too good to be true.

It's been said before that your body goes through a sort of metamorphosis in the beginning of a tree planting season...as a result of the fact that you will be repetitively using all sorts of muscles that you would otherwise not ever really exert to the extent that you do while tree planting all day.

I believe it was in the late 1950's in Canada, There was a, I believe a Supreme Court ruling that stated tree planting was cruel and unusual punishment for prisoners...(I will verify the facts here if I decide to publish...a book deal about tree planting...)

This is my tenth year tree planting.

I tree plant for the money.

What's funny about after finishing a tree planting season is that you feel fantastic...like strong as ever...beaming with a sense of accomplishment as a result of persevering through the various weather elements and encountering everything nature has to offer...pushing and expanding your physical body limits...socializing with all sorts of people...sharing the tree planting experience....OK, so this isn't the funny part....what's funny about all these things...is that..after having faced adversity so to speak...lol...I am calling tree planting adversity...and...OK..so after you walk/move through tree planting/adversity...you kind of want to do it again...well I have...and I have seen many others experience this very same tendency...I have seen people absolutely commit to finishing the season and then being like that's it that's all, declaring that they will never do it again...only to come around...and and by the end of the season kind of wanting to do it again...

The interesting thing about tree planting is that it really illustrates lots of life lessons:

Some of the lessons include:

Self-discipline

Self-determination

Self-Worth

Self-trust

Self-honesty

Self-forgiveness

Time-management

Master of Efficiency

Master of Emotions

How to Co-exist with others

Self-Confidence

Sharing Words of Support

Laughter

Story telling

Being Silly

There are so many life lessons that I have garnered as a result of tree planting...I am making note here as a a way to stimulate/instigate my memory and also give you an idea of the kind of support I have garnered from the work that I have done and am doing...Also...and this is a big Also...because here, the main point of my sharing here is to illustrate the point and fact that it is within whatever you participate within on a daily basis for some consecutive time that you are able to garner such assistance and support and life lessons if you will...I mean class is in session everyday we are here within the lesson that is always referred to as "Today"

OK, let me tell you what's going on with me at the moment:

"I am sore as fuck"

"I am experiencing new muscle soreness that I have not previously experience before"

I just finished my second day of tree planting...I forced myself to make a note of writing a sharing here as what is going...I took a little cat nap before I began this sharing here because my hands and fingers were too sore/tired earlier to type...I gotta get going soon to bed here...well I am in bed...but I know my body needs as much time as possible to rest as I very strained/sore all over the place.

Oh ya, it snowed out today. I was working for about 10 hours outside today. The temperature was kind of warm for snowy weather...I was actually quite pleased that it was snowing and not raining because...the snow was melting pretty immediately...and it being cold enough for snow...seemed to me that I would get less wet from the snow...than I would have been getting had it been a few degrees warmer and a very cold rain...fascinating what a difference a few degrees makes...nature really exemplifies this point well...the minute difference make all the difference.....as like it is an accumulation of all the minutes that make the day..its funny how I say "mi-nute"..and minute..yet I initially spell them the same way...

So, I did not want to go to work today at all...when I woke up this morning new body parts were sore that weren't sore when I went to bed. I had all the excuses/reasons/justifications lined up as to validate myself in not requiring to show up for day 2 of tree planting.

My girlfriend insisted on turning the lights on this morning before I was ready to get up. That kind of pissed me off.

I am sharing a place with my girlfriend and another dude...living quarters are a little tired.

My girlfriend is mildly annoyed with me at the moment as I type here in bed...understandably so,,its 1030 pm and we gotta be in the truck ready to go at 645am..and she is sore as fuck and tired as fuck...

Patience is key, especially in tree planting environment...not taking offense to any body;s emotions...because oh did they happen from time to time...it;s like...well...you know what it;s like when you or somebody you know gets all fired up about something.

So, while I was working today, I recalled how a good buddy of mine, his dad mentioned that we should write a book about our tree planting adventures/stories...something or other along those lines...and ya...that's a great idea....so my plan here is to write every day for the next 90 days or so as however long the tree planting season ends up going...

SO, i took some video footage in camp a few years ago...well maybe a few years ago...plus a another one or so...anyways I wanted to put a tree planting reality show together...so I had so much interviews done with people...also so much camp lifestyle and culture footage...it was a bush camp that I was in...pretty big camp...some wild parties...some time off in the city in between contracts...young and old people...all sorts of shenanigans...

Someone I was in contact with earlier this year was seemingly real close to aligning with a tv production company to make the reality show happen...don't know what happened...I was waiting to receive my contract in the mail actually...because apparently deals had been mad...and ya...I was picked to be one of the "characters profiled in the show"...it was joked about in all seriousness that doing this show...would get me my own action figurines in walmarts across north america...and that it would make it a lot easier for me to book stand up comedy gigs..

Anyways this was more of an opening of things up introduction than a chapter one...though I will stick with my title heading for now...

And stay tuned for more story development and insightful sharing/caring/laughter/intrigue...and so much more...

Oh, ya before I say good night...allow me to say "welcome" and "your welcome" as I bring you inside the world of tree planting without actually having to go through the experiences yourself...yet hopefully I will give you much support in the process here for you to employ in your own persona daily doings...as you know...well maybe you don't know yet...but everything in life is a lot like tree planting...there i said it...and I'm sure I'll say it again...anywho...tonight I bid you adieu.

Day 611 Emotional Attachment to Money Self-Corrections

When and as I see myself stressing myself out about money, I stop and breathe, I say I am here, and I see/realize/understand that stressing myself out about money does not in fact support me at all. I see/realize/understand the harm/strain I do to my body within stressing my body as a result of fearing not having enough money. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not having enough money to survive. I commit myself to seeing the humor as the absurd ridiculousness of justifying the need to stress myself out as a result of requiring/needing more money and not knowing how I am going to get it. I see/realize/understand that stressing myself out will not support and assist me within obtaining the money. I commit myself to stop stressing myself out. I commit myself to stop justifying the experience of stress upon my physical body in relationship to dealing with money.

When and as I see myself experiencing disharmony within myself in and as relationship to money, I stop and breathe, I say I am here, I investigate why and how it is that I am in conflict with regards to my starting point within and as Money. I commit myself to resolving conflict/disharmony within and as money. I commit myself to taking immediate self-responsibility in self-correcting a disharmony within and as money relationship when in fact I see the point. I commit myself to stop fearing to see for real what is here. I commit myself to stop fearing and doubting my future here on earth. I commit myself to the future here on earth.

When and as I see myself valuing money more than I value myself/others, I stop and breathe, I say I am here, I direct myself in forgiving myself for devaluing myself/others in relationship to over-inflation within and as the value of my relationship to money/currency. I commit myself to stop perpetuating a world money system of abuse. I see/realize/understand my relationship with money and other beings is a reflection of why and how the world exists today.

To be Continued

Day 546 Drama as a Guilty Pleasure

I was looking at the point of "Drama" this evening. I was looking at the definition of the word "Drama". I just started playing with the word Drama as I write here...Draw ma,,,Dr. am a. Stories...like a play out of events...shit happens unexpectedly...or what would appear unexpectedly...sequence of events...climatic and anti climatic...rising action and falling action...fictional tale...history and herstory.

I was looking as the point of Drama as a point of conflict.

I was also looking at Drama as a point of stimulation.

I was also looking at our shared reality as a seriously intense Drama.

I'm looking at the point of how I say Drama is a guilty pleasure. Why would this be the case? Well if we consider our reality as a seriously intense drama....and drama as a guilty pleasure....it can be deduced that our participation and acceptances and allowances here are perpetuated in this seriously intense Drama because we derive pleasure from abuse. This is obviously the point of a "guilty pleasure"

Why the fuck would I want to derive pleasure from abuse?

I was looking at the point of how the tv series and movies I often look to watch are drama's...like with lots of story line and character development. 

I see how I have made drama a guilty pleasure.

I will be continuing to investigate Drama in blogs to come

Stay tuned

Day 525 Story of Making A Decision

I was skiing today for the first time this winter. I was skiing with a bunch of people who wanted to ski all day. I said I was tired...my feet hurt from the new ski boots I bought...initially I was thinking I can't just stop I got to keep moving with what the group wants to do. And after I acknowledged about half way through the day that I had enough skiing and was physically tired and was going to ski back to the chalet which was quite a long way away. A couple other dudes within the big group said they planned to do just 2 more runs and that they would be able to give me a ride back to my buddy's place where I was staying...the buddy I refer to is one of the people in the group who wished to ski all day.

So I said ok in thinking that I could compromise and do 2 runs instead of 1. Interesting that point of making a compromise...like why ever compromise physical well being?

So as I started traversing across the top of this big mountain, I told the 2 dudes who planned to do 2 runs that I was just going to do this one last run and that I would wait for them at the bottom if they want to do 2 runs. It's interesting because they decided that they were fine with doing this one last run.

I see how in some instances there are things that I would like to do within a group participation as like what other members of the group are doing. Like in this particular instance, skiing all day. Within looking at the point, it wasn't practical for me to force myself to participate in that particular manner...that in fact, forcing myself to ski all day so that I am following along with the group could have been quite consequential to my health/physical well being.

What's interesting and I see as cool from this ski story experience of making a decision to support myself regardless of what others peoples decisions are.....was the fact that I wouldn't have been able to do another run effectively...like it was a struggle for me to perform my skills effectively on that last run even....like I had pushed myself so hard physically already...that my muscles were fatigued...and thus  it was making my descent much more challenging than if I were not fatigued.

At the moment I am committed to teach skiing all winter...and well....putting myself in a situation where I have specific physical tasks to perform and my physical stability is compromised is dangerous and reckless......

I see here how I probably should have called it quits a run earlier. I see how I conformed to the group mentality of not wanting to deviate from the group mentality of wanting and desiring to move along with what the group wants to do. 

I see how I resisted making a decision to make a decision that is best for myself within desiring to follow along within the majority group.

I see how  it is crucial that I make decisions from the starting point that is what is best for me and that I do not accept and allow myself to compromise what is best for me within wanting to conform to peer pressure as like not wanting to move away from the group.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing the judgement of others saying something about me making a decision to move out of a particular participation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not wanting to stop participating within activities that others wish to continue participating in, out of fear of being regarded as weak and less skillful within the activity .

Day 429 Why You are so Stupid?

This is a continuation to my previous blog entitled, Stupid.

After having written my blog I went through a process of self induced stupid experiences. I had some reactions come up within me as various forms of self-judgment with regards to writing the blog "Stupid".  I was worried and concerned about what others might think of me taking on the topic of stupidity...and also I feared that I was exposing myself as stupid and that what I was doing is kind of stupid and that I'm way off course by bringing up the point of calling people stupid...like to make any sort of inference that it could be actually a nice gesture to call people stupid...is somewhere I shouldn't go.

I see that writing about stupid and my stupid education is a way of facing my own stupidity and breaking down the stupidity barriers as system patterned programming that is stupid.

The fact that I had some reactions about exposing and undressing the point of stupidity reveals to me that this is a point of resistance I am required to push through and transcend all self imposed stupidity.

What brought me to the starting point of writing about stupid was the question about stupid in fact being a practical teaching aid of support...like specifically using the word stupid to assist and support myself and others in seeing points of stupidity as like what the fuck!  What's interesting about doing something stupid is that when you're so immersed within a point of stupidity it's like you're in a trance and snapping out of a moment of stupidity can be difficult at times. I mean, I see that we humans have been educated to be stupid...as like stupid organic robots...functioning off of reactions...like a bunch of chickens with our heads cut off.

I also see the point and practical responsibility for each human to face and self correct our accepted and allowed stupidity. This is obviously quite a process because we've been designed and programmed to be pretty fucking stupid...and therefore realising who and what we are may being experienced in a plethora of stupid ways because the truth stings like a swift kick in the ass.

I see and realise and understand the absurd ridiculousness of  self judgement...and I've been walking a process to stop all forms of self judgement within myself...and as I have explained at the beginning of this post, I was self judging myself about taking on the point of stupidity. What I'm doing is stopping reactions that occur within me and making self corrections about the reactions as the means to prevent myself from going into a stupidity vortex as like being stuck within the out flowed consequence of a reaction...as like losing myself for a moment within a reaction.

So the point came up within me...I realised and understood the stupidity as like absurd ridiculousness...as like a fear mind fuck...and I realised and understood the ridiculousness of stewing within the point. I've come to utilise moments of reaction as a point of cross reference within myself as like an aha moment...as here is a point that I can work with...as like something that hasn't been completely sorted out within myself.  I see and and realise and understand the practical support in utilizing a reaction as a point of resistance that I am required to push...as the means necessary to facilitate my strength training in integrity and accountability as a human being who is removing stupidity bit by bit.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing being regarded as stupid...I realise and understand that fear as a mental fear...is a stupid mind fuck and is totally ridiculous...and that by reacting further to the point of fearing to be regarded as stupid...which is a reaction in itself...as like choosing to compound stupidity/fear within myself. I realise and understand that I am not interested in compounding and perpetuating stupidity/fear within myself...and I realise and understand myself responsibility in facing every single point of stupidity/fear within myself...as I see and realise this to be the necessary process...as the way to actually take care of myself...and give as I like to receive...and expand my potential abilities to make the world as a whole free from stupidity.

When and as I see myself waiting to take action on a point of self correction...as like remedying a point of stupidity, I stop and breathe...I direct myself in letting go of the point of stupidity...I have a chuckle as I realise and understand the absurd ridiculousness of procrastinating on a point of stupidity...as like wow, I see and realise how crazy it is to in any capacity to be like..."oh there's a point that's totally not cool that's existing in me and I am capable and able to direct the point now in a way that's totally awesome...but nah i think I just going to be totally fucking stupid for a little bit long...there's comfort in stupidity...being smart is hard work...stupid is easy..." What the fuck.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for choosing to be stupid in moments as like thinking that stupid is a form of safety avoidance of work and responsibility...as like protecting me as ego...thinking that me as an ego is so smart...as like I am a superior being within my mind as ego...and I am winning the competition against other ego's because I am so stupidly smart.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for fearing to confront stupidity in all capacities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for ignoring and disregarding stupidity and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding how I was dismissing and ignoring the stupidity that exists within myself and that by ignoring and disregarding the stupidity I see in others...was like an indicator that I am accepting and allowing the same relationship within myself...which is not cool...which is stupid in fact.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not realising and understanding how stupid it has been for me to fear my own stupidity..as like I see and realise and understand what a total mind fuck this is.

There's a really good point of fearing My own stupidity that I will begin within in my next blog as an example and illustration which further exposes the absurd ridiculousness of fear...and that creating particular fears is in fact stupid.

Cheers and stay tuned for an example of stupidity that I believed to be totally brilliant.......